♪ Saturday! ♪[the sun shines in Timmy's room, waking him up]
Timmy: Saturday! A day that makes you feel alive and rarin' to go! [he screams, having seen a tired and unkempt Cosmo and Wanda] Old people!
Wanda: Ugh. We're exhausted. [as Cosmo yawns]Poof had us up all night with his crying. Guess we're not as young as we used to be.
Cosmo: You can say that again, missy! [beat] No, seriously, say it again... I'm kinda hard of hearing! [hears kids laughing and a mule braying] Hey, you kids! Get away from my mule! [the kids around the mule outside run away screaming]
Timmy: Don't worry, guys! Saturday makes everything better!
Mr. Turner: [offscreen] Did you just say you wanted to wash my car? [the fairies turn into pillows. Mr. Turner opens the door to the room]
Timmy: No.
Mr. Turner: Great! [grabs Timmy. Cut to a dirty, worn-out, raccoon-infested Stryker Z outside] I want the Stryker Z cleaned, polished, and raccoon-free by 5:00. Tonight's the classic car show at the Cake 'n' Bacon! I'm taking your mom on a date so we can rekindle that spark of love we used to have before you came along!
Timmy: Gee, Dad, I'd love to help you wash and restore your car... There's just one problem: I don' want to!
Mr. Turner: Youthful rebellion, eh? Well, I'll top that with parental authority! You better do it, or else!
Timmy: Or else what?
Mr. Turner: Touché. Or else I'll take away your skateboard!
Timmy: Here. [giving it to him] It's old anyway.
Mr. Turner: Eh... then I'll take away your video games! Yes! ♪ Go, Dad! Go, Dad! ♪
Timmy: [giving him a video game console] Beat 'em all anyway—here.
Mr. Turner: Oooh! You're good at the "or else" game! Uh, okay, then don't wash it. You're too young to wash this big car anyway!
Timmy: What? No, I'm not!
Mr. Turner: Yes, you are. Only grown-ups can do jobs like this. Not little kids like you, who are little and not old!
Timmy: I'll show you who's a little kid! I'll wash this car better than you ever could!
Mr. Turner: Great! I win!
Timmy: Uh... what just happened?
Mr. Turner: Reverse psychology just beat youthful rebellion! Dads rule! Have it ready by 5! And don't show fear! Raccoons can smell fear! ♪ Go, Dad! Cake 'n' Bacon! Go, Dad! ♪[leaves]
Timmy: Oooh, I hate reverse psychology! [the fairies appear]
Cosmo: Look on the bright side, young fella. At least you've had your rabies shots.
Timmy: What? [raccoons jump out of the car and he screams as they attack him. Fade to a bandaged Timmy dunking a sponge in lather. He touches the car's bumper with the sponge, and the bumper rusts and turns to dust] This thing is a hunk o' junk! And has a rusty old bumper to boot!
Cosmo: That's no way to talk to my wife!
Timmy: There's only one thing to do at a time like this!
Wanda: Wish up a magic car wash that wouldn't just clean the car but actually make it brand-new again? [sees Timmy walking toward the Tibecuador Express bus with a bindle]
Timmy: Uh... [stops walking] yep... that's exactly what I meant! Make it happen!
Cosmo: Can we hurry this up? It's 2:00! It's time for dinner! We're havin' creeeeamed corn! [Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof grant the wish. A sign reading "Wish Wash" appears on the car wash's facade]
Timmy: Cool! A magic car wash! Cosmo! Wanda! Bring on the Stryker Z! [Cosmo and Wanda send the car into the car wash. At a control panel, Timmy presses a button that makes the car wash spray the car with lather. Poof giggles and makes the car wash spray the car with water. Timmy makes the car wash remove the raccoons in the car, wax the car, and eject it. The car is now in perfect condition] Awesome, Poof! The Wish Wash made it look like it did forty years ago! Nice goin', guys!
Wanda: Hey, I wouldn't mind looking forty years younger. [looks at the car wash] You don't think...
Cosmo: Whaddaya say, woman? Let's get rid of our laugh lines and rusty bumpers!
Wanda: Ah, what the heck? [she laughs as they fly into the car wash. They shout as the car wash works on them, then come out]
Timmy: Wow, you guys look way younger! The car wash doesn't just make cars newer, it makes anything newer! You're like teenagers again!
Wanda: [sighs] Like, whatever. [starts using an MP3 player]
Cosmo: Peace out to my skate dawwwwgz! What be up in my crib, yo? [beat] What did I just say?
Timmy: Oh no! You are teenagers! [Poof disappears] Poof? Gah! Since Cosmo and Wanda are teenagers, they've never been married and they never had Poof!
Mrs. Turner: [offscreen] I can't wait to rekindle that old spark of love we had before Timmy came along.
Mr. Turner: [carrying Mrs. Turner] Me too! And you know I've never loved anything more in my life than my beautiful wi— [sees the car, shouts, and drops his wife] Suffering sparkplugs! It's beautiful! I've never loved anything more in my life! [kisses the steering wheel, laughs, and starts the car] That's the sound of 12-cylinder, turbo-charged love! Sorry, hon! Gotta break our love-rekindling date and cruise with my new sweetie! Peace out, yo! [drives off]
Mrs. Turner: Well, looks like it's a battle for your dad's heart! Only one thing to do at a time like this...
Timmy: Destroy the car and win Dad back? [Mrs. Turner is about to board the Tibecuador Express bus with a bindle]
Mrs. Turner: Uh... yeah... Yeah, that's exactly what I meant! [takes an axe out of the bindle; running off] Thanks, Timmy!
Cosmo: Yo! T-Dude! Wanna grab some air? Grind some rails?
Wanda: Luh-ame! I'm, like, totally going to the mall for a sweet mani-pedi!
Timmy: You two aren't going anywhere until you go back through that car wash so Poof can come back!
Cosmo and Wanda: What's a Poof?
Timmy: Duh? He's your baby?!
Wanda: [screams] A baby?!
Cosmo: We're not even married, yo! And she's not my type. I like 'em with a little more swirl in the curl.
Timmy: You guys go back through that car wash, or else!
Cosmo and Wanda: Or else what?
Timmy: Or else I'll take away your skateboard!
Cosmo: [throwing it in Timmy's face] Here.
Timmy: Okay, then I'll take away your music! [the fairies remove their earbuds]
Wanda: Here. [she and Cosmo drop their MP3 players and poof in new ones] We needed new ones anyway.
Timmy: Wow. You're good at the "or else" game.
Cosmo and Wanda: [leaving] Later!
Timmy: [shouts] I've gotta get them back or we'll never see Poof again and Cosmo and Wanda will be teenage know-it-all-jerks forever! Can anything else go wrong? [cut to a dirty museum truck driving down the road]
Truck Driver: [into a transceiver] Your stuffed cavemen and dinosaur bones are right on schedule... Ain't nuttin' gonna stop me from deliverin' on ti... Oooh, a car wash! [he drives into the car wash and comes out as a young man with a new truck] Ha ha! [dinosaurs and cavemen break out of the truck. Cut to Mr. Turner and the car on a hill named Lover's Leap]
Mr. Turner: You know, I don't come here with just anyone, but I wanted you to know that you're special... And to show you how much you mean to me... a new piston ring! [puts the ring on the windshield wipers knob. The wipers move and the car sprays water] There, there, don't cry. [in the distance, Mrs. Turner is in camouflage]
Mrs. Turner: And don't explode either, you four-wheeled man-stealer! [fires a rocket at the car. Mr. Turner leans over to kiss the steering wheel, and the rocket flies through the windows and hits a cliff face. A resulting boulder falls on Mrs. Turner] You win this round, Stryker Z. But two can play at this game. [her camouflage wreath falls on her head. Cut to a news truck outside the car wash]
Chet Ubetcha: Hello, Dimmsdale! I'm Chet Ubetcha, here outside the incredible car wash of youth! [many old people are lined up to use the car wash] While nobody knows how it works, that hasn't stopped them from taking advantage of the car wash's amazing effects! This is Chet Ubetcha saying, time to lose my rusty bumper! [uses the car wash] This is teen Chet saying, oh no! My voice! My beautiful voice!
Timmy: That does it! I gotta get Cosmo and Wanda back here! [he grabs bunting from the car wash and uses it to rein in a brontosaurus, then gets on the brontosaurus's neck] Hi ho, dino! To the mall! [the brontosaurus walks off. Cut to Mr. Turner driving the Stryker Z]
Mr. Turner: I'm taking you somewhere extra special to show you how much you make my motor run. [he drives past a billboard, behind which is Mrs. Turner in a race car]
Mrs. Turner: Oh, your motor can run, but it can't hide! [drives after Mr. Turner. The Stryker Z fills her surroundings with exhaust, and she coughs. When the exhaust clears up, she is in a demolition derby. Cars crash into her and she screams. Mr. Turner and the Stryker Z are in the audience]
Mr. Turner: [to the Stryker Z] I told you this would be special! [Mrs. Turner screams offscreen] That driver screams like a girl. [cut to the mall. Teenagers are running away screaming from Timmy and the brontosaurus]
Timmy: They gotta be here somewhere! Now, where do teens with attitudes hang out to look cool? [beat] The skate shop!
Cosmo: [to teenage boys outside a skate shop] Yo, dudes! Wanna see me grab some big air? [floats on his skateboard]
Teen Boys: Cool! [the brontosaurus takes Cosmo away]
Cosmo: Hey! Uncool!
Teen Boys: Cool!
Teen Girls: [to Wanda] Your nails look totally awesome!
Wanda: I'm gonna totally text you guys! [typing on a cell phone] OMG! BFF! LOL! [the brontosaurus takes her away] Hey! SOS! [cut to outside the car wash. People run away screaming as the brontosaurus comes. It drops the fairies]
Timmy: You guys are gonna listen to me and do the right thing!
Cosmo: You can't tell us what to do, pops! We know everything, remember?
Timmy: Youthful rebellion? Wait: Reverse psychology beats youthful rebellion! You're right! I don't think you guys should be together after all! [the brontosaurus catches him in its mouth]
Cosmo and Wanda: What?!
Timmy: Yeah, I mean, you're just a couple of immature kids who have no idea how to act like grown-ups! And I never want you to change into grown-ups!
Wanda: Hey, you can't tell us what to do!
Timmy: [forcing the brontosaurus's mouth open] Sure, I can! You're just a couple of dumb teenagers! [the brontosaurus shuts its mouth, and he forces it open again] Who are dumb! [the brontosaurus shuts its mouth]
Cosmo: Oh yeah?! We'll show you, grampa! One pair of grown-ups comin' up! [he and Wanda turn themselves back to normal]
Wanda: Wow. Suddenly I feel like a responsible person! But my nails look fantastic!
Cosmo: Yeah. And I feel like there was a time when I was once an even bigger idiot than I am now!
Timmy: I wish the dinosaurs and the car wash were gone! [the fairies grant the wish. Timmy falls to the ground. Poof reappears]
Cosmo and Wanda: Poof! [they hug him]
Timmy: Well, this story is wrapping up quite nicely! [Mrs. Turner shows up crying] Sorta.
Mrs. Turner: It's no use. I'm no match for the Stryker Z. Perhaps if I had wheels for feet. [she boards the bus, which is being destroyed by cavemen]
Wanda: Uh, should we poof away the cavemen?
Timmy: Not just yet... [fade to Mr. Turner and the Stryker Z having a picnic at sunset]
Mr. Turner: [puts a ring on the car's antenna] Yay! You've made me the happiest man in the world! [the cavemen magically appear, smash the car, and disappear] I think we should see other people.
Timmy: [appears behind a tree] How about Mom? She's tender, warm, and not a car!
Mr. Turner: You're right! But how could I win her love back after I've been so selfish and unattentive? She'll never go to the Cake 'n' Bacon with me now! [Cosmo and Wanda appear by Timmy as birds]
Timmy: [quietly] I wish I had a huge diamond ring. [the fairies grant the wish. Timmy offers the ring to his father]
Mr. Turner: That'll work! [cut to outside the Turners' house. Mrs. Turner opens the front door] I choose you, honey!
Mrs. Turner: You do realize it's foolish to pick material objects over the person you married and love, right?
Mr. Turner: I do! And honey... [clears his throat and takes out the ring] will you be...
Mrs. Turner: Wow! [taking the ring] Look at the size of that four-pronged, six-carat material object I'd pick over you! [running out of the house] Peace out, yo! [Mr. Turner cries, then sees the cavemen]
Mr. Turner: Gentlemen? We've got us a ring to destroy! [he strips to caveman clothes and yells, then takes out a club and leads the cavemen down the street]
Wanda: [typing on her phone] He is, like, so BYLTPX!
Cosmo: Who cares? I'm just glad my mule's back! Peace out, yo! [the mule hee-haws. Iris out on the mule. The end title card is shown. Fade to black]
