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The Fairly OddParents! episode transcript | |
"Where's the Wand?" | |
Season №: | 0 |
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Airdate: | October 2, 1998 |
Transcript List |
This article is a transcript of the The Fairly OddParents! episode, "Where's the Wand?" from Season 0, which aired on October 2, 1998.
[The episode opens showing the Turner's mailbox at night. The scene pans to show the Turner House. The scene dissolves to a blue digital clock with two dials on the side on a brown stool in the living room. It reads, "7:45 PM" in green.
- Vicky: (while the scene pans up to her) Where the heck are they?! (while marching to a window) Mr. and Mrs. Turner [Vicky looks out the window] were supposed to be home ten minutes ago.
[The Turner Car drives up.
- Vicky: Finally!
[The scene cuts to the front door.]
- Mr. Turner: (while entering, not showing his head) Thanks for babysitting, Vicky.
- Mrs. Turner: (while entering holding a purse, with her head not shown) Sorry we're late.
- Mr. Turner: (while showing the top of his head, revealing he is wearing a sprinkler hat, shooting water) The Save the Sprinkler Foundation meeting ran a little long.
[Mrs. Turner enters the scene wearing the same hat.] ↵[The sprinkler hats rotate. Vicky looks over with star eyes.]
- Vicky: Oh, are you late? I hadn't noticed. [The water from the sprinkler's hits Vicky in the face, causing her now-wet hair to fall onto her face.] What lovely hats!
[The sound of the sprinklers being turned off is heard. The scene cuts to show Mrs. Turner, except her head, next to a side table.]
- Mrs. Turner: (while putting her hat down) Oh, isn't tonight [Mrs. Turner rotates and points at Vicky.] the big costume dance at school?
[The scene cuts to show Vicky, whose hair is back to normal.]
- Vicky: Oh, is it? [Vicky extends her arm off-screen and pulls it back with a yellow and red changing room divider. She pushes it away to reveal she is in a blue dress, fairy-like wings, and a crown.] I wondered why I was wearing this!
- Mrs. Turner: (while Mr. and Mrs. Turner walk up) She's a fairy godmother. Oh, how (while Vicky closes her eyes and lifts her head up) beautiful!
- Mr. Turner: Still, it could use a bit of pizzaz. [Vicky looks at him, annoyed. He extends his arm off-screen.] Maybe something in our box of [Mr. Turner pulls out a brown box with "COSTUME SUPPLIES" written on it. It contains various costume parts, including a fish tail, bunny ears, antennae hat, party hat, curly orange wig, and glasses resembling Groucho glasses, except there isn't the eyebrows and there are eyes in the glasses.] emergency costume supplies will come in handy. Heaven knows [He hands the box to Vicky.] it helped me in the past.
- Mrs. Turner: (while Vicky takes the Costume Supplies box) Oh, by the way, how was Timmy this evening?
- Vicky: Oh, you know, (meanly) the little twerp, (happily) I mean angel has been quietly playing in his room all night.
[The scene dissolves to show the exterior of Timmy's room. It then zooms dissolves into the room, where the room is flooded and there is a green pirate ship.]
- Cosmo: (off-screen) Argh, matey! Argh! [The scene dissolves to show Cosmo in a pirate costume, with a hook, pirate captain's hat with a yellow "C" on it, yellow earring, and green beard. He is also holding his wand.] Have ye any last words before Greenbeard the pirate makes (while getting close to the screen) ye walk the plank?
[The scene cuts to show Timmy wearing a red pirate hat with a white "T" on it, tied up on a plank.]
- Timmy: (Bored) Greenbeard?
- Cosmo: (while flying over to Timmy) This pirate game [He uses his wand to turn back into his normal outfit.] was your idea, Timmy. Besides it's my favorite color. [Cosmo uses his wand to changes back to his pirate costume.] (while getting close to Timmy and waving his hook around) Arrrgh!
- Timmy: (while rolling his eyes) Oh brother. Ok, I'll give it a shot. (while jumping on the plank, causing him to jump over Cosmo) Not so fast, Greenbeard! (while twisting in the air) Waha! [He hands on the ship on his feet. He then quickly turns around and breaks free of the rope.]
- Timmy: (while revealing a wooden sword) En garde! Hey, where's Wanda?
- Cosmo: Oh, you know how Wanda is Timmy. She's probably still getting dressed.
[Wanda teleports in wearing a pirate costume with a pink hook, pink hat with a yellow "W" on it, and two eyepatches.]
- Wanda: Well, how do I look? [Wanda screams.] (Scared) I can't see!
[Cosmo magically makes one eyepatch disappear.]
- Cosmo: (while a circle of hearts appears between him and Wanda.) You only need one, snookie!
[Wanda chuckles.]
- Wanda: Thanks, sailor!
[Cosmo and Wanda start to laugh.]
- Cosmo: (while laughing) Sailor! [Cosmo and Wanda stop laughing. Timmy, bored, leans on a post.] (while flying over to Timmy) How are we doing so far, Timmy?
- Timmy: Don't quit you day job! (sarcastically) I knew it would be thrilling having my fairy godparents around the house.
- Cosmo: Avast ye swab!
[Cosmo and Wanda have a swordfight with their wands against Timmy and his wooden sword, with them getting closer to the edge of the ship.]
- Cosmo: (while sword fighting) Parry! Luke Perry! Perry Mason!
[Cosmo, Wanda, and Timmy continue sword fighting until Timmy knocks Wanda's wand out of her hand. It goes flying out Timmy's window. The scene cuts to the exterior of the first floor of the Turner House.]
- Mrs. Turner: (while Vicky leaves, holding the Costume Supplies box) Have fun at the [Vicky stops and looks inside.] dance, Vicky!
[Wanda's wand lands in the box.]
- Vicky: (while raising the box in the air) I will thanks to you! (while walking away) Ughh...
[The scene cuts to the window outside Timmy's bedroom. Here, Cosmo, Wanda, and Timmy, who are in their normal outfits, are looking out the window, holding onto the ledge.]
- Wanda: Oh my gosh. She's got my magic wand!
- Cosmo: A magic wand [He raises his wand.] in the wrong hands could mean total disaster, and Vicky's hands are the worst hands around.
- Timmy: I know, I'll wish the wand back!
[The scene cuts to show Timmy and Wanda in Timmy's room.]
- Wanda: It's not that simple. [Da Rules teleports in. Wanda opens the book.] I knew it, the finders-keepers law. Whoever holds the wand has complete control over it. [She tosses Da Rules away.] We can't wish it back! As long as she has it, she has the power to grant her own wishes plus the wishes of others!
- Timmy: Then we got to follow her to the dance [He jumps into the air.] and get it back ourselves! [The scene cuts to show Cosmo holding his wand.] Cosmo quick [Timmy grabs Cosmo's collar] we need transportation.
[Cosmo holds his wand up to grant Timmy's wish. The scene dissolves to show Dimmsdale High School, where there are cars and people in the parking lot. There is also a sign that reads, "High School" on the exterior of the sign and "GREAT BIG COSTUME DANCE TONITE!". Compressive chattering can be heard. The scene zoom dissolves to show Vicky walking toward the school.]
- Vicky: At least, I found this fake wand in that dumb box. Now, I'll win the contest for sure!
[Vicky laughs. The scene dissolves to show a pink pumpkin carriage, with a yellow "T" on the door, in a neighborhood. Cosmo, in horse form, is pulling the carriage. Wanda is the carriage driver. Timmy is looking out the window, concerned. The scene cuts to the parking lot, where Cosmo stops. The carriage goes flying forward. When it hits Cosmo, with a "Goink!" (the "i" has a star tittle, same with the dot of the exclamation point.), the carriage disappears, leaving Cosmo and Wanda piled on top of Timmy on the sidewalk. They have stars circling around them. Soon, the stars disappear.]
- Cosmo: Well, I thought it handled great!
- Timmy: A pumpkin coach?
[The scene cuts to show Cosmo, Wanda, and Timmy are piled on the pavement of the parking lot.]
- Cosmo: Best we can do with one wand.
- Wanda: Besides, it worked for Cinderella!
- Timmy: Yeah, but (while Cosmo, Wanda, and Timmy get up, revealing Timmy is wearing a pink dress) did I have to wear her dress?
- Wanda: Sorry, we couldn't break up the set!
[Wanda giggles.]
- Timmy: Good thing this is a costume party. You two will fit right in. Cosmo, I wish I had another costume. Something manly?
[Cosmo points his wand at Timmy. It glows. The scene cuts to show Timmy on the side walk. With a pink "FWINK!" and a bright light, Timmy's costume is transmuted into a toilet. Timmy pops his head out of the lid with a roll of toilet paper in his mouth. He spits out the toilet paper, where it is heard crashing into a car and an alarm going off.]
- Timmy: We got to talk.
[The scene dissolves to the gym. Here, there are students at the food table. They students are dressed as a witch, a robot or astronaut, a roman, and a bear, respectively. Vicky is shown at the table, next to a fruit bowl.]
- Vicky: Boy, talk about (while holding up a mushy unopened banana) lame food. Two words: (while Wanda pops her head out from below the fruit bowl) Guh-ross!
- Boy in Bear Costume: I know, I wish (while Vicky lowers the banana) it was all pizza and hot dogs!
[Wanda tries to reach for her wand, but it grants the boy's wish and buries them all in pizza and hot dogs. Vicky rises from the pile with pepperonis over her eyes, a hotdog in her mouth, a pizza on her head, and a stain on her dress. Vicky spits out the food.]
- Vicky: Alright! Who's the comedian? [She looks down at the stain and screams.] My costume's stained! My beauty, diminished! I got to wash this off!
[Vicky runs away. The scene cuts to elsewhere in the gym, where a sign reads, in green letters, "Der Rolling Hösen". The scene pans to show the three male members of the band, who are wearing lederhosen and Tyrolean hats. One is playing a tuba, one is playing accordion, and one is playing a marching band bass drum. They are playing slowly, one at a time. The scene cuts to a panning shot of the dance floor, where the students are standing, sleeping, snoring, and swaying. The costumes of the students are a mummy, the bride of Frankenstein, gorilla, jungle girl, astronauts, chickens, superhero, rabbit, and scuba divers. While the scene is panning, the couple in chicken costumes falls over. Vicky runs onto the dance floor.]
- Vicky: Ugh, what planet is this music from? [Timmy, still in the toilet costume, sneaks to Vicky.] Ugh, I wish they'd play some rock and roll.
[Timmy tries to grab Wanda's wand, but it grants Vicky's wish. The scene cuts back to the band. With a pink "Fwink!", the band is transformed into a rock and roll band, with a bassist, guitarist, and drummer.]
- Guitarist: Rock and roll!
[The band jumps in the air as they start playing a song. The scene cuts to Timmy and Vicky. They scream when they see a crowd of girls appear. Timmy runs away, but Vicky is trampled.]
- Vicky: Ugh, freshmen.
[The scene dissolves to Cosmo leaning on the lockers in the hallway.]
- Cosmo: Time to use the most powerful magical weapon in my arsenal: (while pointing at himself) me! [He laughs.] (while Vicky walks by) Hey gorgeous! [He nervously laughs and runs in front of the girl's bathroom. He then transforms himself into a hunky dude, with a green "Boop!" written vertically. [Vicky walks by.] Hey gorgeous! [Vicky stops to look at him.] Wanna dance?
- Vicky: Whooo, me? I... I...
[Vicky's pupils turn into hearts.]
- Cosmo: Come with me to the Cosmo... I-I mean Casbah. [Vicky faints] This magnetic charm I have is really a curse! Mission accomplished!
[Cosmo reaches for Wanda's wand, but Wanda flies in and gets in his face.]
- Wanda: (angrily) Listen, Mr. Magic, I may not be as young as I used to be, but just remember you are [Wanda grabs Cosmo's ear.] still a married man!
[Wanda pulls on Cosmo's ear.]
- Cosmo: Ow! Yes dear, yes dear! But y'know, the wand...
[Wanda drags Cosmo away. Vicky wakes up.]
- Vicky: Ugh, men.
- [The cuts to show Wanda with her arms crossed and her eyes closed, looking away at Cosmo.]
- Cosmo: (while entering the scene) I'm sorry, snookie. [He transforms himself into his proper form.] Please forgive me!
- Wanda: (while turning her head at Cosmo) I don't know.
[Wanda turns her head back. The scene cuts to the interior of the girls' bathroom.]
- Vicky: (while entering the scene) I got to clean this thing up!
[Vicky looks down at her dress. The scene cuts back to the hallway, where Cosmo points his wand toward the gym. The scene cuts to show the band. With a flash, they transmute into a beatnik band, with a saxophone, trumpet, and bongos.]
- Trumpet player: A-one... a-two...
[The band starts playing music. The scene cuts back to the interior of the bathroom.]
- Vicky: (while entering the scene) This dance couldn't get any weirder!
[Vicky enters a stall, throws her dress over the door, and exits in a green shirt, pink pantaloons, and a crown. The scene cuts to Wanda in the hallway.]
- Cosmo: (to Wanda; while entering the scene) May I have this dance?
[Cosmo flutters his eyes. Cosmo and Wanda laugh and dance together. The scene cuts back to the interior of the bathroom. Vicky is trying to wash the stain off her dress.]
- Vicky: What's your problem, stain?
- Contest announcer: (over the PA system) Hey, you wacky adolescents! It's almost contest time!
- Vicky: No!
[Vicky runs out the bathroom, leaving her dress in the sink. The scene cuts to the hallway.]
- Cosmo: (while grabbing Wanda's hands) Time for the big finish!
- Wanda: Oh, I love the big finish!
- [Cosmo spins Wanda around, causing her to go flying. The scene cuts to Vicky running through the hallway. Vicky and Wanda collide, causing Vicky to toss Wanda's wand in the air. Vicky also gets tossed in the air. Wanda stops spinning. She laughs.]
- Wanda: Yeah! [Her wand falls into her hand.] Hello, gorgeous!
[The scene cuts to Vicky, who's sitting on the ground, with stars floating around her head.]
- Contest announcer: (over the PA system) And now to announce the contest winners!
[The stars disappear.]
- Vicky: (while looking backward) Yipe!
[Vicky runs toward the gym so fast that she leaves a dust cloud. The scene cuts to the stage in the gym, where a microphone appears.]
- Contest announcer: (while entering the scene, only showing his arms, which are holding a piece of paper) The first runners-up are [The scene cuts to black.] (off-screen) (while a spotlight shines on Cosmo and Wanda on the stage) the two kids in the firefly costumes!
- Cosmo and Wanda: Cool! [The announcer's arm enters the scene holding a golden trophy. Cosmo grabs the trophy.] We'd like to thank the academy!
[The scene cuts to black.]
- Contest announcer: (off-screen) And the winner is (while a spotlight shines on Vicky on the stage) Vicky...
[Vicky smiles.]
- Contest announcer: (while his arm hands Vicky a golden trophy with a "1" on it) ...for the most revealing, [Vicky takes the trophy, and the announcer retracts his hand off-screen. Vicky lifts her head and closes her eyes with pride.] (off-screen) and quite frankly, scariest costume!
[Vicky opens her eyes and loses her prideful expression. She looks down at what she's wearing. She screams and jumps up in terror. While landing, she throws the trophy, which is heard hitting someone. Her face turns red, and she tries to cover herself up.]
- Vicky: Somebody get me a costume!
[A yellow flash and a green "Doink!" with a star on the tittle of the "i" and the dot of the exclamation point appears over Vicky. It soon disappears, revealing Vicky is in a toilet with water. It flushes her down. The scene cuts to elsewhere in the gym. Timmy, who's in his proper outfit, Cosmo, and Wanda holding the trophy appear.]
- Timmy: Well, congratulations you two! Vicky really seemed to enjoy the dance!
- Cosmo: Oh, I don't know, Timmy. I thought she looked a little flushed. [Cosmo and Wanda start laughing.] (while laughing) Ya get it?
- Wanda: (while laughing) Oh, flushed!
[Cosmo and Wanda laugh until the episode ends with a heart-shaped iris to black.]
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OY!C ★ 1 ★ 2 ★ 3 ★ 4 ★ 5 ★ 6 ★ 7 ★ 8 ★ 9 ★ 10 | ||
#01 The Fairly OddParents! | #02 Too Many Timmys! | #03 Where's the Wand? |
#04 Party of Three! | #05 The Fairy Flu! | #06 The Temp! |
#07 The Zappys! | #08 Scout's Honor | #09 The Really Bad Day! |
#10 Super Humor |