[Fade in on Dimmsdale at night. Timmy runs in a forest and trips on a log. Someone overshadows him]
Timmy: Wait! Violence never solved anything! Can't we settle this with a game of dodge ball? [a ball is thrown at him] Or maybe checkers? [a checkerboard is thrown at him] Aw, come on! That's not how you play! [a laser is pointed at him] No!
[Timmy is shot with the laser, leaving smoldering ashes and his hat. Fade to black]
[Fade in on Dimmsdale Elementary "24 hours earlier". Timmy eats pizza in the cafeteria] Man, I love lunch. Besides recess, it's my favorite class of the day.
Cosmo: [as a book] I was a little disappointed in the vegetable medley. The carrots were way off-key.
[Cut to Timmy walking in a hallway holding Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof as books. A locker-shaped Mr. Crocker comes out of a locker in front of him]
Mr. Crocker: Aha! Hi-ya! [Timmy and the fairies scream] I call that move "Crouching Crocker, Hidden Teacher"! [uses the Crocker Pot to suck the fairies up] I've been waiting in that locker for six months! But it was worth it to finally capture your... [spasming]fairies!
Timmy: I don't have fairies, Mr. Crocker. But if I did, I'd wish they'd make a giant bear smash your Crocker Pot!
[A bear appears and smashes the pot. The fairies appear in Timmy's hands and he leaves. The bear slices off Crocker's leg]
Crocker: It's a good thing my leg's been asleep since July. Otherwise, that would hurt like the dickens. [the bear bites down on him] Gah! Ooh! Yow! I'll get you for this, Turner! Right after I build myself a peg leg in wood shop!
[Fade to what looks like the Millennium Falcon flying through outer space]
Timmy: You know what's great about space? No Mr. Crocker. I'm totally safe.
Cosmo: Except for the deadly asteroids, intense solar radiation, oh, and the fact that I spilled chocolate milk in the life support system.
[The ship shakes, and Timmy and the fairies scream. A tractor beam is pulling the ship]
Timmy: Oh, no! It's Dark Laser! I gotta think fast!
[Cut to inside the Death Ball]
Dark Laser: At last, Flipsie, we have captured Timmy Turner! It was worth hiding out for six months in the cold outer reaches of space.
[Flipsie barks and freezes mid-flip. Timmy's ship lands in the Death Ball, and Dark Laser holds up a light stick and laughs. A bear comes out of the ship and slices off his legs]
Dark Laser: It's a good thing my legs are frozen. Otherwise, that would have hurt like the dickens. [the bear runs off with his legs] I'll get you for this, Turner! [the bear bites down on him] Flipsie!
Timmy: [flying away] Wahoo!
[Fade to Fairy World. Timmy and the fairies appear on a road]
Timmy: Phew. Fairy World. Definitely no enemies here. [Foop, hiding in a bush behind Timmy, floats up]
Foop: That's what you think. It was worth hiding in this bush for six months, because now I'm hot on your tail! Speaking of hot tails, there seem to be fire ants in here. [shouts] Stifled screams of agony!
[Cut to a science museum. Timmy and the fairies appear]
Wanda: Thanks for coming to the museum, sport. Poof really wanted to see the fairy-clipse exhibit.
Poof: Poof poof!
Wanda: Okay, I wanted to see the fairy-clipse exhibit.
Timmy: What's a fairy-clipse?
Wanda: It's a rare astronomical event that's happening tomorrow. Once every million years, the Sun passes between the Earth and the magical realms of Anti-Fairy and Fairy World.
Cosmo: And that's why we eat yams on Thanksgiving! Whoops! I spilled my chocolate milk again!
[Foop cackles as he approaches with a baseball bat and then slips on the chocolate milk and hits the Sun prop in the exhibit, making it fall on him]
Foop: Hello again, Auntie Wanda and Uncle Idiot! It's time for me to crush your son... with the Sun!
Timmy: Ah! Another enemy! Bear, please!
[Cosmo and Wanda turn the prop into a bear, which attacks Foop offscreen and tears off his legs]
Foop: It's a good thing those fire ants numbed my legs with their venom. Otherwise, that would have hurt like the dickens. I'll get you for this, Turner!
[Cosmo and Wanda poof Timmy, Poof, and themselves away, and the bear catches Foop in its mouth]
Foop: [screams] Muffled screams of pain!
[Fade to the Cake 'n' Bacon. Crocker has a bear tooth stuck in his head]
Waitress: Welcome to the Cake 'n' Bacon. What can I get you?
Crocker: All you have is cake and bacon, so I can't exactly order the veal parmesan, can I? [the waitress walks over to Foop, who is in the same condition as Crocker]
Waitress: And what can I get for you, honey?
Foop: Death! To Timmy Turner. Oh, and a mango iced tea. [Dark Laser also has a bear tooth in his head]
Dark Laser: Ooh! Is death to Timmy Turner on the menu?
Crocker: If it is, count me in!
Waitress: How about three orders of cake 'n' bacon? And you're in luck. Bear attack victims get ten percent off. [serves the three]
Foop: Well, it seems we all share a common bond.
Crocker: Really? You like veal parmesan too?
Dark Laser: I think he was referring to our mutual hatred of Timmy Turner. [crushes a hologram of Timmy projected from his chest] Isn't that right, Flipsie? [laughs]
[Flipsie barks, flips, and lands in Foop's tea]
Foop: Indeed, I was. He's the bane of my existence.
Crocker: Mine too!
Dark Laser: Really? Same with me!
Crocker: Oh, calm down. You're getting cake on your creepy metal face. [Dark Laser takes his cake away from his mouth] You know, maybe the three of us should form a team. With my brains, [to Foop] your anger problem, [to Dark Laser] and your creepy metal face, we might be able to destroy Turner!
Foop: You're right! United, nothing can stop us! [the bear drives by in a convertible and smiles menacingly at them]
Dark Laser: Except maybe that bear.
Foop: From this moment on, we are one! Bound by a common enemy, we will join forces and contribute equally! [a check lands on the counter] Could you guys pick up the check? I left my wallet in my swim diaper.
[Cut to the Turners' kitchen. Timmy opens a cabinet and prepares to use a baseball bat]
Mr. Turner: Scary Enemies? Is that a new kind of cereal? Let's see. [opens a cabinet] Eh... No Scary Enemies, but we do have Fruity Foes and Sugar Frosted Fiends. [loudly]Honey, can you pick up a box of Scary Enemies at the store? All the cool kids and Timmy are eating them!
Timmy: Phew. All clear. Looks like I might actually live to see tomorrow.
Mr. Turner: Eeh... I wonder if I'll live to see tomorrow. [picking up a bucket with a paper in it] Maybe I should start doing the things on my bucket list. Wait, this isn't the list. It's a receipt for the bucket. [reaching into the bucket] Oh! Oh, here it is! Eeh, let's see. [reading the list] "Buy bucket." Did that. Ooh! "Join some kind of club." [reading a newspaper] Let's see if the paper has any clubs listed! Sewing club! That sounds like fun!
Timmy: Ah!
[The front page of the newspaper has the headline "You're Doomed, Timmy Turner!" and a photo of Crocker, Foop, and Dark Laser]
Mr. Turner: What is it, Timmy? Have you heard not-so-good things about the sewing club?
Timmy: No, Dad, my sworn enemies have teamed up to destroy me!
Mr. Turner: So the sewing club is fine, then? Ooh! That's a relief! [leaving] See ya! [the fairies appear]
Timmy: Guys, I'm in serious trouble! Mr. Crocker, Dark Laser, and Foop are working together to get me! You gotta protect me! [Wanda poofs him into a suit of armor and he falls over]
Cosmo: This is terrible!
Timmy: What is it? Are they attacking?
Cosmo: No, I spilled my chocolate milk again! [the table Timmy is on sinks into the milk]
Crocker: Keep your voice down, metal head. Mother's getting what she ironically calls her "beauty sleep".
Foop: First on the agenda: Pick a name for our evil club.
Dark Laser: How about the Flipsies?
Foop: Super lame. Moving on!
Crocker: Ooh! Check this out—the Crocker Jacks!
Foop: What does that even mean?
Crocker: Sorry. You put me on the spot and I panicked.
Dark Laser: Flipsie and I both want the Flipsies!
Foop: Focus, people! We need a name that says we're a league of super evil revenge seekers. [gasps] That's it! We're the League of Super Evil Revenge Seekers!
Crocker: Works for me! No one will make fun of us with a name like that!
[Cut to Timmy looking out his window with binoculars]
Wanda: [mopping up chocolate milk] Aw, sport, you've been standing at that window for hours. Why don't you sit down and relax?
Timmy: I can't relax, because my enemies are after me. And I can't sit down, because the chocolate milk rusted my armor butt.
Mr. Turner: Hi, Timmy! [his body is covered with needles]
[The fairies scream and disappear]
Timmy: Ah! What happened to you?
Mr. Turner: Well, it turns out sewing's not my thing. What's with the outfit, son? Was "dress like a kook" on your bucket list?
Timmy: No, Dad, it's protection from my scary enemies.
Mr. Turner: I don't know why you need protection from a breakfast cereal, but getting back to me, I have joined a skydiving club! [jumping out the window offscreen] See ya! [he lands offscreen, then his parachute opens] The ground is hard! [a phone rings]
Timmy: [answers the call] Hello?
[Crocker, dressed as Trixie, is on the other end of the line]
Crocker: [in a high voice] Hey, Timmy! It's Trixie Tang calling to say I love you!
Foop: Tell us again why you had to dress up to make the phone call.
Timmy: You love me? What changed your mind, Trixie?
Crocker: You wanna waste time asking questions, you little pipsqueak, or do you wanna meet me for a romantic date?
Timmy: Uh, sure, Trixie. Where?
Crocker: At the junkyard. In the car crusher. [he, Foop, and Dark Laser giggle]
Timmy: I would have picked the beach at sunset, but okay. [hangs up] Guys, Trixie loves me! Poof me to the junkyard!
Wanda: Uh, doesn't the timing of this strike you as a little fishy?
Timmy: What? That Trixie Tang's suddenly in love with me and wants to meet me in a machine capable of crushing steel? A little. But I'm in denial. [the fairies poof everyone away]
[Cut to the junkyard. Timmy appears wearing a suit. The fairies are flowers in his hand. Crocker is standing in the car crusher] Ah, there she is. The most beautiful girl in all of Dimmsdale.
Cosmo: Boy, you really are in denial.
Crocker: Yoo-hoo! I'm waiting for you, Timmy! [imitates kissing]
[Foop and Dark Laser are in the car crusher control room]
Dark Laser: I have to say, the Flipsies are a little creeped out by this.
Foop: We're not calling ourselves that!
Wanda: Oh, Timmy, the fairy-clipse is about to happen. And when it does...
Timmy: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [running toward Crocker] We'll talk about it later. I'm falling in love! [trips on a rope and screams]
Cosmo: Well, you're fallin' in something.
[Crocker jumps out of the crusher and Timmy lands in it. The fairies land in a trash can and turn back to normal]
Timmy: You? [as Crocker takes off his Trixie wig] Mr. Crocker?
Crocker: That's right, Turner! And you get an F, for "fooled you"! Crush him, L.O.S.E.R.S.!
Dark Laser: This is way more complicated than the Death Ball. I just have an upsy and downsy button.
Foop: [kicks him away] I'll handle this!
[Foop magically pulls levers with his bottle. Walls trap Timmy and the press starts moving down toward him. Timmy screams]
Crocker: Good job, guys! [walking away] Wow, what a couple of freaks. Oh, darn it! There's a run in Mother's pantyhose!
[The fairies raise their wands and rattle, which go limp. The fairies fall to the ground]
Wanda: Uh-oh! It's the fairy-clipse! [the Sun comes between Earth and the fairy worlds]
Timmy: Who cares about the fairy-clipse? And why aren't you floating?
Wanda: That's what I was trying to tell you! When the sun passes between the fairy worlds and the Earth, it blocks the big wands that give fairies their magic!
Cosmo: And that's why we eat ham on Christmas!
Poof: Poof poof!
Wanda: Poof's right! This has nothing to do with ham! But until the eclipse ends at midnight tomorrow, we won't have any magic! [the press is coming toward them]
Timmy: Nooo! [fade to black]
Act 2[]
[Fade in on the junkyard. Foop, Dark Laser, and Crocker laugh in the control room]
Timmy: What are we gonna do?
Cosmo: Well, we could either get squashed like bugs or I could jam my titanium thermos into the crusher!
Wanda: Why do you have a titanium thermos?
Cosmo: Because I got sick of spilling my chocolate milk! Also, I figured it would come in handy if I ever got squashed by a car crusher.
Timmy: Just save us!
[Cosmo jams the thermos between the press and a wall. The crusher is overpressured. The L.O.S.E.R.S. stop laughing. The crusher explodes, sending Timmy and the fairies flying. Timmy lands and starts running away. The control room lands]
Crocker: Gah! Turner's getting away! To the Unsuspecting Van! [he and Dark Laser zip toward the van]
Foop: [running] Wait for me! Lost my magic! Tiny legs! [Timmy screams and runs past the van, which Crocker and Dark Laser jump into] Wait!
[Foop grabs on to the rear bumper and sighs with relief. The van starts moving, making his face slide against the ground. Timmy screams as Crocker follows him in the van. Foop gets in the van]
Foop: Blast him with your death ray!
Crocker: Death ray? On a teacher's salary? I don't even have FM radio!
[Mr. Turner screams as he parachutes from the sky]
Mr. Turner: Skydiving's not my thing!
[Timmy screams. Mr. Turner hits the windshield of the van, and his parachute covers it. The L.O.S.E.R.S. scream, the van turns, and the parachute blows Mr. Turner away. The L.O.S.E.R.S. scream as they drive into a car crusher that squashes the van repeatedly]
Mr. Turner: Eugh! Trixie Tang has really let herself go. [lands offscreen] Ground hurts!
Timmy: Okay, not gonna panic. Gotta stay calm. The fairy-clipse only lasts until midnight tomorrow. I can't believe it drained you of your magic!
Cosmo: Duh! Everyone knows that, Timmy! Just like everyone knows you eat a groundhog on Groundhog Day!
Wanda: No, you don't!
Cosmo: Oh, now you tell me. [vomits up a groundhog offscreen] Uh... uh, hey, Punxsutawney Phil. Um, no hard feelings? [Phil attacks him]
Timmy: Okay, I may not be able to make new wishes, but maybe I can use some of my old ones. [taking a catapult out of his closet] Let's see... A catapult. That's a good start. Now all I need is some ammo. I've got marshmallows, a box of feathers... [Wanda takes the box from him and sneezes] cotton balls... Not exactly armed to the teeth.
Cosmo: Ah! Phil's got my arm in his teeth! [Phil pounces on him]
[Fade to the Crockers' house]
Crocker: Oh, Turner getting away was a bit of a setback... but on the bright side, our T-shirts came in! [he is holding a T-shirt labeled "L.O.S.E.R.S. / XL"] Okay. We need a new plan to annihilate Turner. Anybody?
Foop: I know! Has anyone ever heard of a Venusian face-eating spider?
Dark Laser: Do they actually eat people's faces?
Foop: Oh, the face is just the appetizer. [laughs evilly]
Crocker: You're the scariest baby I've ever met.
Foop: I get that a lot. Anyway, I've got a shoe box full of face-eaters right here! [looks at the box and shakes it] Oops. I forgot to punch air holes in it. Anybody else got a plan?
Dark Laser: How about we capture Turner in my Death Ball, fly him to the outer reaches of the galaxy, and drop him into a black hole?
Crocker: Eh, seems a little elaborate. Can't we just make him a sandwich with some bad pastrami?
Dark Laser: We'll put it to a vote. All in favor of the black hole idea?
[Dark Laser and Foop raise their hands. Flipsie barks and flips]
Crocker: Eh, fine. But I'm making the sandwich as a backup. Can always give it to Mother if she gets on my back about the torn pantyhose. [fade to Timmy's treehouse]
Timmy: [cranks back the catapult arm] Okay, my treehouse is now officially a safe house. [the treehouse starts shaking and he and Wanda shout]
Wanda: What's happening?
Timmy: Fire the catapult!
Cosmo: We can't, Poof ate the ammo! [Poof is eating marshmallows]
[Timmy sees his father chopping the tree]
Mr. Turner: I joined a lumberjack club, Timmy! Timber!
[The tree falls and knocks over several utility poles in a chain reaction]
Mr. Turner: Whoops. I wonder if there's a "hide from the police" club. Bye, Timmy! [running off] I've gotta get Dinkleberg's prints on this axe!
[Timmy and the fairies tumble out of the treehouse. A tractor beam starts pulling Timmy into the Death Ball]
Timmy: [screams] Help!
Cosmo: Hang in there, Timmy! We'll save you as soon as we get our magic back!
Timmy: That won't be for another 14 hours!
Cosmo: I'm not saying it's a perfect plan!
[Timmy screams as he is pulled into the Death Ball and it flies into space. He is suspended over a hatch]
Timmy: Wait. [the L.O.S.E.R.S. are wearing their T-shirts] You guys are calling yourselves the L.O.S.E.R.S.?
Crocker: It stands for "League of Super Evil Revenge Seekers"!
"Computer Voice": Approaching black hole.
Crocker: [to Dark Laser] We know you're doing that voice.
Dark Laser: No, I'm not.
[Beeping surprises the L.O.S.E.R.S. The Death Ball is approaching a black hole]
Foop: [laughs] Finally, we'll be rid of Timmy Turner forever! I'd high-five, but my arms are too short.
Crocker: Turner, do you have any last words before we drop you into the void?
Timmy: Um... can't we just talk this over? For 14 hours?
Dark Laser: No, we can't. [doing the computer voice] Opening hatch.
Foop: And I thought his toy dog was weird.
Timmy: Toy dog! That's it! Flipsie!
Dark Laser: [laughs] Watch this, Flipsie!
[The Death Ball flies up to the black hole. Dark Laser opens the hatch and Timmy screams. Dark Laser pulls a switch that makes the energy field suspending Timmy dissipate. Timmy grabs Flipsie and hangs on to the edge of the hatch]
Dark Laser: Flipsie! No! [Timmy tosses Flipsie into the black hole] I'll save you! Save him!
[Dark laser kicks Crocker and Foop into the black hole. The two scream]
Crocker: Mother!
Dark Laser: I probably should have tied a rope to them. [ties a rope around his waist] Hang on, Flipsie! Daddy's coming! [jumps through the hatch and screams] I probably should have tied myself to something. [falls into the black hole]
[Cut to outside Bakersfield. The L.O.S.E.R.S. land in a bush. Crocker sees the town sign]
Crocker: Bakersfield! So Einstein was right!
Dark Laser: Turner has my ship. We'll have to take the bus back to Dimmsdale.
[A bus pulls up, and the L.O.S.E.R.S. run up to it and sees the bear is driving it. The bear takes them into the bus and attacks them]
[Fade to the Cake 'n' Bacon]
Crocker: Oh, I can't believe Turner got away again. On the bright side, we still get the ten percent bear attack discount!
Dark Laser: We failed. Face it. The L.O.S.E.R.S. are a bunch of... What's the word?
Foop: Yes. What is that word? It's on the tip of my tongue.
Crocker: No, that's the face-eating spider.
Foop: [screams] It's alive! [screams and runs off]
Dark Laser: It's no use. We'll never get Turner. Even Flipsie's lost hope. [Flipsie whines]
Foop: Good news! [several places on his body are swollen] I drowned the spider in a root beer float. Luckily, I got him before he bit me.
Crocker: Wait a minute! I think I know someone who can help us! Someone so hideously evil, she strikes fear in the hearts of everyone she encounters!
Foop: Is she single?
Crocker: Legend has it that she'll magically appear if you mention her name in a cheap diner! Vicky.
[Lightning strikes and the L.O.S.E.R.S. scream. Vicky, dressed as a waitress, approaches them and lightning strikes. The L.O.S.E.R.S. scream and dive under their table]
Vicky: What do you losers want?
Dark Laser: Uh... We want Timmy Turner's head on a platter.
Foop: And a mango iced tea.
Vicky: So, you wanna destroy the twerp and you need my help.
Dark Laser: Uh, wait... Why would we listen to a mere teenage girl?
[The bear pulls up outside and growls. Vicky growls at it, and it whimpers and drives off]
Dark Laser: You're hired!
Crocker: Yes! We'll give you a team T-shirt and your standard babysitting fee of $11.50 an hour!
Vicky: Keep your money. I'll help you annihilate Timmy for the sheer joy of it.
Foop: Ooh, I like you!
Vicky: Never look in the eyes!
Foop: [screams] I'm blind!
Vicky: Time to whip you wimps into shape!
[Fade to the L.O.S.E.R.S. screaming and running through an obstacle course as Vicky laughs and chases them with a chainsaw]
[Fade to Vicky getting off a wall and running across a pool]
Vicky: Come on, you losers!
[The L.O.S.E.R.S. get on the wall and jump down, then scream as they fall into alligators' mouths]
Crocker: This is very embarrassing.
[Fade to a plane in the sky. Vicky blows a whistle. The L.O.S.E.R.S. jump out of the plane; scream; open their parachutes, which are torn; land in a cactus field; and scream. Vicky laughs and brandishes scissors]
[Fade to the Crockers' house]
Vicky: Congratulations, maggots. You're ready.
Crocker: Excellent! Now, what's the plan? I know! We'll buy a giant flat-screen TV, throw out the TV, and disguise the box as a video arcade to lure Turner inside!
Dark Laser: Then we'll tape the box shut, drag it to the base of Mount Dimmsdale, and start an avalanche!
Foop: And once he's buried alive, we'll dig him up and punch him!
Vicky: That's just complicated. And stupid! It's four against one. Let's just straight up destroy him!
Foop: Oh, I really like her.
Dark Laser: Oh, she's a delight.
Vicky: The eyes![Foop and Dark Laser zip away]
[Fade to the Turners' house]
Wanda: Only half an hour 'til the fairy-clipse ends.
Cosmo: And I can finally poof this groundhog off my leg! [his mouth foams] I think he gave me rabies.
Timmy: Half an hour. I'm gonna make it!
Cosmo: Yeah! The only way those losers could possibly get you now is if they teamed up with somebody even more evil than they are! But what are the odds of that?
[The door to the room is opened, crushing the fairies. Vicky has shown up]
Timmy: Ah! Vicky? What are you doing with them?
Vicky: They brought me in to take you out! And that's just what we're gonna do, twerp. [laughs]
[Vicky and the L.O.S.E.R.S. point lasers at Timmy, who screams and jumps out the window. He, Vicky, and the L.O.S.E.R.S. slide down the downspout and he screams as they give chase. The door closes, and the fairies and Phil fall off the wall]
Poof: Poof poof!
Wanda: You're right, Poof. We have to save Timmy! [jumps out the window]
Cosmo: Look! I can blow bubbles! [blowing foam bubbles through his mouth] Oooooh! Also, my kidneys are shutting down. [Wanda drags him and Poof out the window]
Foop: You can run, Turner, but you can't hide! [Timmy gets out of a bush and runs into Dark Laser]
Dark Laser: This is for Flipsie!
[Dark Laser fires a laser at Timmy, who dodges it and screams. The laser ricochets and hits a tree branch, making it fall on Dark Laser. Timmy screams and runs into Foop, who aims a slingshot at him. He ducks and Foop shoots Vicky's leg, and Vicky hops and shouts in pain]
Foop: What have I done? [Vicky kicks him into a bush; offscreen] Poison ivy! [Timmy screams and runs into Crocker]
Crocker: I give you an F... for "finished"!
[Crocker fires an F at Timmy, who ducks. Foop gets up and the F hits him]
Crocker: Or maybe it was two Fs for "fried Foop".
Timmy: [screams and runs into Cosmo] Guys! How did you get here?
Wanda: We took the bear bus. [the bear waves and drives off]
Timmy: I can't run much more! How long 'til the fairy-clipse ends?
Wanda: [looks at her watch] One more minute, sport. [Vicky and the L.O.S.E.R.S. are running toward Timmy]
Vicky: We're comin' for you, twerp!
Timmy: I have a plan. The second the fairy-clipse ends, here's what I want you to do! [whispers into the fairies' ears]
[The fairy-clipse ends, and the fairies get their magic back and cheer]
Wanda: Now to grant Timmy's wish! [poofs Cosmo, Poof, and herself away]
[Fade to Dimmsdale at night. Timmy runs in a forest and trips on a log. Someone overshadows him]
Timmy: Wait! Violence never solved anything! Can't we settle this with a game of dodge ball? [a ball is thrown at him] Or maybe checkers? [a checkerboard is thrown at him] Aw, come on! That's not how you play! [a laser is pointed at him] No!
[Timmy is shot with the laser, leaving smoldering ashes and his hat. Flipsie barks and flips out from under the hat]
Vicky as Timmy: Ha! I got you, twerp! Wait. Why do I sound like Timmy?
Crocker as Timmy: [shoots Vicky] Ha! You get an F, Turner! For "feel my wrath"! [another Timmy shows up] Guh! I thought I destroyed you!
Foop as Timmy: In your dreams, Turner! It is I, Foop, who will destroy you!
Crocker as Timmy: Then you get an F! For "fat chance"! [they shoot each other]
[The real Timmy shows up]
Timmy: Guys! [the fairies appear] We did it!
Poof: Poof poof!
Wanda: That was a great idea, sport! Wishing to turn your enemies into Timmy lookalikes tricked them into annihilating each other!
Cosmo: Oh, is that what we were doing? I thought we were playing checkers. Also, my lungs are filled with fluid.
Wanda: Thank goodness the fairy-clipse ended before they got you!
Timmy: And we won't have to worry about another one for a million years!
Wanda: Well, there is the upcoming aurora fairy-alis, when the Earth's magnetic fields block the big wands for 28 weeks.
Cosmo: And that's why we eat sauerkraut on German Unification Day!
Wanda: Hey! Cosmo's right this time!
Cosmo: Yay!
[Fade to the Cake 'n' Bacon]
Crocker: I can't believe we blew it again! You're fired, Vicky!
Vicky: Fine! But I'm comin' back with the bear! [leaves]
Dark Laser: If we're going to destroy Turner, we'll need a way into his house.
Foop: I think the new guy may be able to help with that.
Mr. Turner: [enters the restaurant] Hi, fellas! Thanks for letting me join your club. What exactly do you guys do, anyway?
Foop: [offscreen] Just give us your house keys and we'll tell you.
Mr. Turner: [offscreen] Hey, there's a spider in my root beer float! [screams]
