Timmy: [entering the house]Mom, Dad, I'm home! [cameras are pointed at him]
Mr. Turner: [offscreen] Cut! [a crane brings him and a movie camera to the ground. He is wearing a director costume] I need real. Real!
Timmy: I know I'll regret this, but what's going on?
Mr. Turner: Your mother and I are filming our normal, uneventful daily lives and entering a reality TV contest! Hit it, honey! [strong men lift Mrs. Turner up. She is wearing a dress and a pearl necklace]
Mrs. Turner: I am preparing to fix real dinner for my real family the same uneventful way I always do. [the men pose while acting as steps for her to walk to the floor] Once TV executives see how real we are, they'll give us our own show! We'll be famous! [applies makeup] And real!
Mr. Turner: And real famous! Come on, honey. Let's film each other being real out in public—on our alpacas! [he whistles, making two alpacas come. He and his wife mount them. Mrs. Turner picks up a videotape]
Mrs. Turner: [to Timmy] Do. Not. Mess. With. This. Tape. [puts it in the VCR]
Mr. Turner: Come, loinclothed men! Ooh, I've always wanted to say that! [he rides his alpaca out of the house and the men follow him]
Mrs. Turner: We're soooo going to win this contest. And Vicky is so going to babysit! Giddyup! [her alpaca takes her away. Cut to Vicky standing at the door with a flail]
Vicky: Guess what, twerp? It's game night! [lightning strikes behind her] So, what do you want to play, checkers or dungeon?
Timmy: Checkers?
Vicky: Dungeon it is! [walks toward him. Cut to a dungeon, where Timmy is hanging on a wall. Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof appear]
Cosmo: Hey, Timmy! Whatcha doing'? Hanging' out? [laughs] I'm on fire today! [a torch has made the seat of his pants smoke] Ah! I really am on fire. Ah!
Wanda: Sorry you're stuck with Vicky again, sport.
Timmy: For once I'm not! [Cosmo scoots on the floor] Mom and Dad are filming everything for their dumb contest, so now they'll finally catch Vicky in the act of being evil and fire her! In fact, I wish they were home watching their tape right now! [cut to Mr. and Mrs. Turner appearing on the living room couch]
Mr. Turner: Eh, I don't remember the alpacas bringing us home.
Mrs. Turner: Well, as long as we're here, [turning on the TV] let's see how "real" our house was while we were gone! [on the wall behind them, a loge with Timmy and the fairies appears]
Timmy: Welcome to the matinee performance of... Vicky Gets Fired! [the TV shows him strapped to a table while an axe swings close to him. Vicky laughs evilly on the TV]
Mr. Turner: Timmy playing dungeon with Vicky—boring...
Timmy: [spits out and coughs out popcorn] What?! [Mr. Turner fast forwards the tape to Vicky dunking Timmy in a toilet]
Mr. Turner: [spits out and coughs out popcorn] What?! I don't believe it!
Timmy: Ugh! Finally!
Mrs. Turner: I know! Those toilets have never looked so clean! Vicky's amazing!
Timmy: [steams] Thankfully I anticipated my parents being dumber than an alpaca. Fast forward to plan B! [uses a remote to fast forward to Vicky jumping onto the couch]
Vicky: [on the TV] Now, time to relax and record the Dungeon Channel so I can brush up on my torture skills for later.
Timmy: [on the TV, suspended over a boiling cauldron] Vicky, whatever you do, don't use my mom and dad's video labeled "reality contest" to record your show.
Vicky: [takes the tape from him] Don't tell me what to do, twerpsicle! I'm the boss here! [puts the tape in the VCR. The TV screen changes]
TV Announcer: Tonight, on the Dungeon Channel: Torture Chamber Makeover! [Mr. and Mrs. Turner recoil. Timmy smugly walks up to them]
Vicky: [in person] Okay, twerp. Say goodbye to your— [sees Mr. and Mrs. Turner glaring at her] Mr. and Mrs. Turner! [drops the power saws in her hands. They cut a hole in the floor around her, and she falls]
Mr. Turner: Vicky! We trusted you with something we hold very dear—the most important thing in our lives... and you erased it!
Mrs. Turner: Timmy, can you ever forgive us for leaving you with this... tape-erasing monster?
Timmy: I could, maybe, if you, oh, I don't know... [jumping up]fired Vicky! [falls to the floor]
Mr. Turner: Done! Vicky, you may clean a mean toilet and keep a tidy dungeon, but...
Mr. and Mrs. Turner: ...you're fired! [as an echo] Fired! Fired!
Mr. Turner: Loinclothed men... [they zip up to him] take her away! [they turn to Vicky]
Vicky: No! Wait. I love this job! I was set up! [as the men take her away] It wasn't my fault! There were locusts! And a flood! [beat] I blame global warming!
Mrs. Turner: Timmy, we're going to need more footage of us being real, so it looks like you're suddenly old enough to be left home alone.
Mr. and Mrs. Turner: [riding off on the alpacas] Yee-haw!
Timmy, Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof: Wahoo! / Woo-hoo! [fade to Vicky pulling a wagon filled with weapons]
Vicky: Who cares about that dumb job? I don't need the twerp! A person with my sensibilities, people skills, and flaming torture tools can get work anywhere! Look out, working world! Here comes Vicky! [laughs evilly. Cut to outside Stuff-a-Bear. People run screaming out of the smoking building] What? You've never seen a fire-breathing bear before? [uses a blowtorch whose nozzle goes through a teddy bear's mouth. She laughs evilly and is sprayed with fire extinguisher from offscreen]
Manager: Vicky, you're fired! [uses the extinguisher to spray her away. Fade to outside My Tiny Gym. A kid screams as he goes flying out of the building, and more kids run out screaming]
Vicky: Getting shot out of a cannon is too a gymnastic exercise!
Female Manager: [grabs Vicky by the neck] Vicky, you're fired. [puts her in the cannon] Literally! [launches Vicky. Vicky screams and lands in front of City Hall]
Vicky: [comes to her senses] City Hall? Hey, I'm good with controlling people and giving orders! I bet I could get a job here, whether they want me or not! [she enters the building and opens the door to the Mayor's office, where Chompy is massaging him]
Mayor: Vicky, what are you doing here?
Vicky: Mayor, I want a job!
Mayor: Sorry, we're not hiring.
Vicky: Really? Maybe these pictures of you at the "Goat: The Other White Meat" convention will change your mind! [Chompy takes the pictures from her and looks at them, then sees the mayor about to escape through the window. He bleats angrily]
Mayor: Chompy, stop! That could be any gorgeous mayor eating goat chops! [Chompy rams him out the window, bleats, and starts chasing him] Chompy, stop! I love you!
Secretary: [on an intercom] Mr. Mayor, you have a call.
Vicky: Um, he just ran out... [has a realization] I mean, resigned! This is the new mayor speaking. And my first order of business is to turn Dimmsdale into Vickyland! [laughs evilly. Fade to three months later. The town is ravaged. People run screaming from mounted, armored apes]
Mayor: [running from Chompy] Chompy, I swear—I'm a vegetarian! [cut to Vicky's office in what is now Vicky Hall]
Vicky: [licks a lollipop] Betsy, give me the status report.
Secretary: The people are enslaved, the giant dungeons almost finished, and you have an evil laugh scheduled for... right now. [Vicky's watch beeps]
Vicky: Oh, right. [laughs evilly] Man, that feels good. Okay. Now order me some more ape troopers, Cause I'm not going to be happy until everyone in Vickyland is unhappy! [cut to Timmy on a roller coaster]
Timmy: Woo-hoo! I am so not unhappy! Being Vicky-free and home alone rocks!
Cosmo: And rolls! [Timmy and the fairies laugh as they ride through the living room, the kitchen, and the chimney. Timmy stops the roller coaster train, ejecting everyone through a waterfall that washes the soot from the chimney away]
Timmy: Don't knock yourself out, Jensen. Just get me into the sixth grade.
Jensen: Very good, sir.
Timmy: Now, let's all take a break and inhale the sweet scent of my world with no more Vicky! [opens the front door. Screams and explosions come from outside. Timmy and the fairies cough on the air. People run screaming from ape-troopers]
Wanda: No More Vicky World doesn't smell as good as I thought it would.
Cosmo: Those horse-riding apes don't smell so great, either. [the mayor comes out from his hiding place in a tree]
Timmy: Mayor. What's going on?
Mayor: Without a babysitting job, Vicky became Dimmsdale's evil mayor who laughs evilly... a lot! And worse, she's shredded the precious fabric that bonds man and goat. [a screaming man sees him and stops running]
Man: Hey, you're that dude from the "Other White Meat" convention! [Chompy growls at the mayor]
Mayor: Those photos were faked! [runs away screaming]
Timmy: Wow! It never occurred to me that if Vicky got fired, she'd be free to destroy everyone else's lives! We have to do something!
Wanda: [turning into a rhino] I'm thinking we stop her with ancient fire-breathing battle rhinos and a loinclothed warrior army. [warriors on rhinos appear beside her. Timmy is now a warrior with Braveheart-Esque makeup]
Cosmo: [as an ax] Wait, shouldn't Wanda be the old battle ax? [laughs] I'm on fire again. [Wanda breathes fire on him]
Timmy: Alright, guys! Let's get Vicky fired one more time! [cut to City Hall. Vicky laughs evilly on a throne]
Secretary: Your Evilness, a bucktoothed kid is amassing a small rhino-riding battalion of loinclothed men to dethrone you.
Vicky: [sees the battalion through a telescope] So he is. Time to fire the twerp... from life! [opens a crate of ape warriors and laughs evilly] Thanks, Betsy. You can go home. Have a nice weekend. [Timmy's battalion and the apes confront each other. The rhinos breathe fire]
Jensen: [on a rhino] This really is beyond my job description, sir.
Timmy: Don't sweat it, Jensen. This battle will take two minutes—tops! Freedom! [cut to him strapped to a table in a dungeon]
Wanda: [in a cage with Cosmo] You were close—the battle only took a minute forty.
Timmy: See, Jensen? [Jensen is hanging on a wall] Have I ever lied to you?
Vicky: Well, well, well... looks like it's game time again. Should we play checkers or executioner? [an executioner gorilla laughs goofily]
Timmy: Checkers?
Vicky: Wrong again! Ha! I bet you wish you never had me fired, dontcha, twerp? [laughs evilly and grinds an axe]
Timmy: Yep. I wish you were fired from being mayor! [the wish is granted, changing the scene to a ravaged Washington, D.C. People run screaming from an ape in a tank. Cosmo and Wanda poof in with Timmy and Poof. The mayor runs screaming from Chompy. The Lincoln Memorial statue has been replaced with one of Vicky] I don't get it! Vicky's president now? What's going on?
Wanda: You must have hit a ripple in the time–wish continuum. Try again!
Timmy: I wish Vicky wasn't the president! [the fairies grant the wish, changing the scene to another ravaged town. Timmy and company poof in. People run screaming from a gigantic spaceship that shoots lasers over the continent. A hatch on the bottom opens, revealing Vicky, who laughs evilly] Oh, come on—supreme evil overlord?
Cosmo: I think she prefers: [reading from a billboard] "Dark Empress of Everything That Breaths." ["Breaths" actually "Breathes"]
Wanda: There's no job Vicky can get that doesn't ultimately end with her destroying the world.
Timmy: Yes, there is. There's one job Vicky can have that won't lead to world destruction.
Wanda: [gasps] No, Timmy, you don't mean...
Timmy: I wish Vicky was my babysitter again! [the fairies grant the wish. Fade to the Turners' house. Mr. and Mrs. Turner Walk outside]
Mr. Turner: Well, we lost the reality contest, but we've entered a new one! [they rip their clothes off to reveal flamenco outfits]
Mrs. Turner: "Dancing with the Cars"! It's where we dance in the street, and the last couple still standing wins.
Mr. Turner: Have fun, babysitter I could've sworn we fired but for some reason we again trust completely with everything we hold near and dear! Oh, and with Timmy, too! [a car hits him and Mrs. Turner offscreen. An ambulance drives toward them]
Vicky: Hello, twerp. Wanna play a game? [fade to night]
Wanda: That was very generous, Timmy, sacrificing your happiness—
Cosmo: And the roller coasters!
Wanda: —to save the world.
Timmy: [tied up on a railroad] As long as I have you guys around, I guess I don't mind putting up with Vicky. [Vicky laughs evilly as she rides a train toward him]
Jensen: [tied up on the railroad] I should like a raise, sir.
Timmy: You'll get it, Jensen, you'll get it. [iris out on his face]
Mayor: [running from Chompy] Chompy! I love you! [the end title card is shown. Fade to black]
