(The episode begins with a school bus dropping off Timmy at his house.)
Timmy: Alright! The weekend! No school! No Vicky babysitting! Just a nice fun weekend with my parents!
(A suitcase dropped in front of him.)
Timmy: You’re leaving?
Mr. and Mrs. Turner: We’re on a weekend business trip!
(Mr. Turner shows Timmy a pamphlet)
Mr. Turner: To Oceanside Resort Springs Beach! They got golf (not business), fishing (not business), snorkeling (not business), and deep sea (not business-ing..) and 8 different restaurants!
(Dad pulls out a brochure.)
Mr. Turner: They've got golfing, not business, fishing, not business, snorkeling, not business, deep sea not businessing and eight different restaurants!
Timmy: Where's the business?
Mr. Turner: Well, they've got a copier... That makes adult beverages!
Timmy: You're going for the whole weekend?
Mr. Turner: We're all busted up about it too, Son, but you'll be protected by Vicky!
(A PAINTING OF A BOAT hangs on the wall. On the word "Vicky," the boat sinks. Dads notices the painting.)
Mr. Turner: I hope our fishing boat I mean BUSINESS MEETING doesn't do THAT.
[DISSOLVE TO: INT. HALLWAY \u2013 LATER As Timmy walks to his room, Cosmo and Wanda appear.]
Timmy: Darn it! Vicky's gonna torture me all weekend unless we can figure out a way to get rid of her!
(Cosmo conjures up a BEAR holding a big KNIFE and FORK and wearing a VICKY BIB.)
Timmy: Too messy.
Cosmo: Hey! He's wearing a bib!
Timmy: Come on guys. Think of something! Something that'll take Vicky a million million miles from here!
(Cosmo poofs up a TAPE MEASURE.)
Cosmo: I'm on it!
(Cosmo flies out the window and into the sky. They're just standing there.)
(Timmy, Wanda and the bear. Then the bear realizes IT'S A BEAR!)
Bear: ROAAAR!!!!
(As the bear leans in towards the two, we CUT TO: EXT. - THE DREADED WAR PLANET, YUGOPOTAMIA SAME TIME The dreaded war planet looks ominous as usual. Cosmo flies into frame, with the measuring tape)
Cosmo: One million nine hundred thousand and one... One million nine hundred thousand and two...
[CUT TO: INT. MARK CHANG'S QUARTERS - SAME TIME MARK CHANG, warrior prince, sits with his two best buds, JEFF and ERIK, unenthusiastically opening GIFTS as the KING and QUEEN watch.]
QueenJipjorrulac: Happy birthday, Mark!
King Gripullon: Open it up, Pal! It's from your Mom and me!
(The present revealed: A TUB OF RADIOACTIVE WASTE.)
Erik: Radioactive waste?!
Jeff: That's the most awesome kind of waste there is! My parents only got me medical waste!
Mark: Whatever.
(Jeff handed him a big, HEAVY GIFT.)
Jeff: Open this next!
(RIP! TAX FORMS?)
Erik: Tax forms! Those are way hideous!
Mark: It does not matter how horrifyingly bad these gifts are (holds up VICKY'S PICTURE) Nothing can fill the hole in my heart left by losing my one true love, Vicky of Earth!
King Gripullon: Enough! You are next in line to be the evil ruler of this planet!
QueenJipjorrulac: Get this Earth girl out of your head and enjoy your birthday!
(King Grippullon and Queen Jipjorrulac storm out as Mark looks longingly at Vicky's photo. CUT TO: OUTSIDE MARK'S QUARTERS - SAME TIME The King and Queen exit, oblivious to the fact that Cosmo is now measuring right to Mark's front door.)
Cosmo: One million nine hundred ninety nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine... One million one million! Whew!
(Cosmo rings the DOORBELL. CUT TO: INT. MARK'S QUARTERS - SAME TIME SFX: Doorbell (sounds like Close Encounters tones). Mark opens the door to find Cosmo in a DELIVERY OUTFIT.)
Cosmo: Federation Express. I have a message for Mark Chang, from Vicky of Earth.
Mark: Awesome! Give it! Or I shall tear out your still beating heart and use it to play badminton!
(Cosmo produces what looks like a flashlight. It projects a small HOLOGRAPHIC VICKY ala "Star Wars.")
Vicky: Help me, Mark Chang. You're my only hope. I, like, miss you and stuff! Won't you take me away from this planet forever and ever and...
Mark: Jeff! Erik! ROAD TRIP!
[DISSOLVE TO: EXT. VICKY'S HOUSE - A FEW MINUTES LATER INT. VICKY'S ROOM - Vicky is looking at Timmy's picture and packing a suitcase full of nasty items.]
Vicky: (sweetly, to picture) I know, Timmy! I'm just as excited as you are that I get to watch you for the whole weekend!
(Vicky tosses a POWER DRILL and a BALL AND CHAIN into the suitcase.)
Vicky: We're going to have so much fun! HA! HA! HA! HA!
[EXT. VICKY'S HOUSE - FRONT DOOR - SAME TIME With an idling SPACESHIP in the BG, Mark, Jeff and Erik walk to Vicky's door all packing very cartoony laser pistols.]
Mark: Announce our presence!
(Jeff rings the bell. At the sound of the buzzer, all three wheels point their guns and blast the doorbell.)
Jeff: It's an attack!
Erik: Get it!
(As the smoke clears, Vicky opens the door and sees the three CLEARLY ALIEN LIFE FORMS standing in her doorway.)
Vicky: You! I remember you! You're Timmy's geek friend from Europe with the stupid alien costume!
Mark: "Exactamundo!"
(She looks at the other two aliens standing with Mark.)
Vicky: What? Is there an idiot convention in town?
Jeff: Uh… Uh... SHE'S ON TO US! DO SOMETHING!
(Erik hits a BUTTON on his YUGOPOTAMIAN WAR BELT and Vicky gets sprayed with KNOCK OUT GAS.)
Vicky: (coughs) Is this some sort of French perfume? 'M sleepy...
