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The Fairly OddParents episode transcript
"The Temp"
Season №: 0
Airdate: July 24, 1999
Transcript List

This article is a transcript of the The Fairly OddParents episode, "The Temp" from season 0, which aired on July 24, 1999.


Script

  • (Timmy getting off the school bus)
  • Timmy (sarcastically) Whoopee! Only 8 years of school to go. (walks up to his house) At least I've got fairy godparents to cheer me up! Yes sirree, it sure gives me the warm fuzzies to know they'll be around forever!
  • (Timmy enters his room to be greeted by Cosmo shaking his hand)
  • Cosmo Bye Timmy, we're outta here! (flies around a mountain of luggage)
  • Wanda Almost ready! (puts a large box of make up on the top) I'm nothing without my make up! (she and Cosmo laugh)
  • Timmy: You're leaving me?!
  • Wanda: That's right, Timmy! (Da Rules poof up)
  • Cosmo: According to the rules, every 450 years each godparent must get their license renewed at the godparent academy!
  • Wanda: (pops out of Timmy's ear) As you can see, ours are due to expire! (shows Timmy their old licenses)
  • Timmy: You mean I'll be godparentless?!
  • Wanda: Just for a little while, sugar. In the meantime...
  • Cosmo: (poofs beside her) ...we've contacted the fairy godparent agency and they'll be sending over a replacement any minute!
  • (door knocks)
  • Cosmo: (gasps) It's almost like I'm psychic!
  • (they open the door and frown at Jeff standing in the doorway)
  • Jeff Agency sent me.
  • Timmy: Cool, another magic dude. What's your cool magic name? Voltron? Captain Zapula? Mezmero?
  • Jeff: I'm Jeff, don't touch the bell.
  • Wanda: You seem a bit short to be a godparent.
  • Jeff: Look, I got the wings, I got the wand, what more do you want?
  • Timmy: Alright you guys, you can go. But hurry back!
  • Cosmo: Okay, Timmy.
  • Wanda: Wish us luck!
  • (Cosmo and Wanda poof away along with their luggage)
  • Jeff: (coughs) Well, now that Mr. and Mrs. Hilarious are gone, what say we raid the fridge? My treat.
  • Timmy: Wait, you're supposed to grant my wishes, remember?
  • Jeff: Oh yeah right, I'm a godparent. Okay, what do you want?
  • Timmy: Hmm, how about a new toy?
  • (Jeff makes a toy truck appear)
  • Timmy: Cool!
  • Jeff: Yeah, toys are my specialty.
  • Timmy: How about we go to the beach? That'll be fun.
  • Jeff: Okee-dokee. (makes a bucket and spade appear) Knock yourself out kid.
  • Timmy: A lousy pale and shovel?! What's the deal?
  • Jeff: Yeah, well uh, y'know how crowded the beaches are this time of year! Just get in the bathtub and pretend you're at the beach! Just use your imagination, Jimmy.
  • Timmy: Timmy!
  • Jeff: Mikey!
  • Timmy: Timmy!
  • Jeff: Franky!
  • Timmy: Timmy!
  • Jeff: Billy!
  • Timmy: Timmy!
  • Jeff: Georgie!
  • Timmy: Timmy!
  • Jeff: Johnny!
  • Timmy: Timmy!
  • Jeff: Jackie!
  • Timmy: Timmy!
  • Jeff: Fudgie!
  • Timmy: Timmy!
  • Jeff: Domonic!
  • Timmy: Timmy!
  • Jeff: Hershel!
  • Timmy: Timmy!
  • Jeff: Franky!
  • Timmy: Timmy!
  • (Cosmo and Wanda poof back at the Fairy Academy alongside a line of other fairies)
  • Wanda: Ah, the godparent academy! Well, it shouldn't be too bad. We just take a couple of easy tests and get right back to Timmy.
  • Cosmo: No sweat!
  • Voice (off-screen) Did somebody say sweat? (explosion appears onto the scene and the man marches towards them) Welcome to the Fairy Academy. I am drill sergeant, Jorgen Von Strangle, and these are my muscles. (flexes)
  • Cosmo: (to Wanda) I really should start working out.
  • Jorgen: I'm here to make men out of all of you.
  • Wanda: Even the women?
  • Jorgen: Yes.
  • Cosmo: So, you're a fairy godparent? Uh well, uh, where are your wings?
  • Jorgen: Too girly. Jet pack. (pushes a button on his chest and his jet pack springs out, knocking Cosmo away)
  • Wanda: Uh, well then where's your magic wand?
  • Jorgen: Too wimpy. I have this now. (holds up his large wand as it glows red) Anymore questions?
  • (fairies shake their heads no)
  • Jorgen: Now, we go on a five thousand mile run through the desert of broken glass. (points his glowing wand at them) Go now!
  • (fairies run away; back at Timmy's house, Jeff is sitting on the coach watching TV and eating chips)
  • Timmy: Hey, aren't you supposed to be doing some magic?
  • Jeff: Hey, I changed the channel without getting up, didn't I?
  • Timmy: Duh, you used the remote!
  • Jeff: (jumps down) Okay, okay, what do you want?
  • Timmy: How about a chocolate shake? (a toy appears in his hands) Hey, this is a jack-in-the-box! I said I wanted a milkshake!
  • Jeff: Yeah, well uh, it's a milk-jack-in-a-shake-box... uh shake.
  • (scene skips to Jeff is drinking at the table)
  • Jeff: Ah, thanks for the shake kid. I was parched.
  • Timmy: Don't mention it! How about a new robot computer game?
  • Jeff: I don't know much about computers but here goes. (makes a toy robot appear)
  • Timmy: What's this?
  • Jeff: Uh well, it's a robot, see, it fits into the computer like this. (shoves the robot in the computer slot) Voila!
  • (the computer sets on fire)
  • Timmy: Oh great! Can you at least make a fire extinguisher? (a water pistol appears in his hand) We're doomed, aren't we?
  • Jeff: Uh, yeah?
  • (scene changes back to the Fairy Academy)
  • Jorgen: As a reward for doing so well, you get to do push-ups!
  • Cosmo: That doesn't sound so bad.
  • Jorgen: 80 million, now!
  • (Cosmo and Wanda fall to the ground and start doing push-ups)
  • Cosmo and Wanda: One, two, three, four...
  • (back at Timmy's house; Timmy's house is burning with Timmy and Jeff trapped inside; Timmy tries to extinguish the fire with his toy fire truck)
  • Timmy: Can't you do anything besides make toys?!
  • Jeff: I can cry, watch! (cries out loud)
  • (back at the Fairy Academy; Cosmo and Wanda are still doing push-ups)
  • Cosmo and Wanda: Ten million and one, ten million and two...
  • Cosmo: My Timmy sense are tingling! Something's wrong with Timmy!
  • (Cosmo and Wanda get up, revealing their buff arms, and get stopped by Jorgen's boot)
  • Jorgen: Where do you fairies think you are going?
  • Cosmo: Sorry, but Timmy always comes first. (flicks Jorgen's face and he falls down to a pile of garbage cans; Cosmo flexes)
  • Wanda: Now could you please validate our new licenses? (Jorgen signs the licenses Wanda holds)
  • Cosmo and Wanda: We're free!
  • (they poof away, and the scene changes back to Jeff and Timmy backed up against the wall; Cosmo and Wanda poof above them)
  • Timmy: Boy, am I glad to see you guys! I wish the fire was out!
  • (before Cosmo and Wanda makes the wish, a flurry of snow comes in through the window and puts out the fire)
  • SantaHo-ho-holy cow! What's going on here?
  • Timmy, Cosmo and Wanda: Santa Claus!
  • Jeff: Agh! It's him! Get him away! (hides behind Timmy)
  • Timmy: Santa, what are you doing here? It's summer!
  • Santa: Well Timmy, I've lost something and I thought it might be... ah! There you are! (picks up Jeff) Has he been posing as a fairy again? (chuckles) Naughty naughty! Why, he works for me. He's just a very lazy, wayward elf.
  • Timmy: I knew it! That's why he could only make toys!
  • Santa: Come along now, little elf.
  • Jeff: My name is Jeff! (grabs Santa's moustache) Jeff! I have an identity! An identity! I am not just another one of your pointy eared drones!
  • Santa: (waves his finger at him) Yes you are.
  • Jeff: (grabs hold of the floor as he gets dragged away by Santa) Tell others about me! Don't forget what you saw here today! Tell my story, tell my story!
  • Three elves: Come, be one of us, Jeff!
  • Jeff: No, noooo!
  • (Santa drives away in his sleigh)
  • Timmy: Now that you guys have your new licenses, do you think you could help me dry out my room?
  • Cosmo: You got it, Timmy! (turns Timmy's bedroom into a desert)
  • Wanda: Nice job!
  • Cosmo: (changes his head into the head of Jorgen) Guess I don't know my own strength!
  • (episode ends with them laughing and Cosmo having intervals of laughing like Jorgen)
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