[Fade in on Timmy sleeping in bed. It becomes morning]
Timmy: It's Saturday! [Cosmo and Wanda make a marching band and cheerleaders enter the room, then make them disappear] You guys know what Saturday means!
Cosmo: Cartoons!
Wanda: Outdoor activities, like gardening and bird watching! [Timmy glares at her] Or cartoons.
Cosmo: [looking out the window] Or Vicky! [Vicky is biking toward the house alongside bats] Wait. That's not a good thing. [horrifiedly] Or Vicky! [Timmy looks out the window]
Timmy: No! [rushes to the living room]
Mr. Turner: [stopping Timmy with a spatula] Now, Timmy, you know you can't come with us to the Annual Mother–Father No-Kids-Allowed Cook Out!
Timmy: But it's Saturday! Satur-day! We have a deal—[taking out a contract] it says here quite clearly, and I quote, "Timmy will not need a babysitter on the weekends."
Mr. Turner: Well, you're right, son. And this is a legal document. A really nice legal document!
Mrs. Turner: And now it's fish wrap. [using it as such] Really nice fish wrap! Oh, don't feel bad, sweetie. It's just one Saturday. You'll have a lot more fun here with Vicky! [she opens the front door, revealing Vicky grinding an axe. Vicky notices her and kicks the grinder away]
Timmy: How do you know?
Mr. and Mrs. Turner: [look at each other] Well... Bye! [zip out of the house]
Vicky: Bye, Mr. and Mrs. Turner! [screwing sounds come from offscreen. She looks and sees Timmy in a pillbox with barbed wire and sandbags]
Timmy: Stay away from me, Vicky.
Vicky: Oh, don't worry, Twerpy! [bringing in a steamer trunk] I brought all kinds of fun things for us to do together.
Timmy: [jumps toward her] Really?
Vicky: [unlocks the trunk] Nope! [piling the following on him] These are my shoes that need to be shined. These are my clothes that need to be washed. This is my homework that needs to be done. And this is my butt, which will be in that chair while I watch you do it all!
Timmy: And if I refuse?
Vicky: Then I let your parents listen to this recording I made of you! [presses a tape recorder]
Recorded Timmy Voice: Hi! I'm Timmy Turner and I...
Deep Male Voice: ...cheated on my math test!
Timmy: I never cheated on my math test! [Vicky holds up another recorder and presses the first one]
Timmy Voice on Recorder #1: Hi! I'm Timmy Turner and I... [Vicky presses the other recorder]
Timmy Voice on Recorder #2: ...cheated on my math test!
Timmy: I'll get to work. [pushes the things away]
Vicky: Wait. [she holds up a house dress and Timmy recoils. She puts the dress and hair rollers on him]
Timmy: I'm not doing chores in a dress! [Vicky presses the first recorder]
Timmy Voice on Recorder #1: Hi! I'm Timmy Turner and I'm... [Vicky presses the second recorder]
Timmy Voice on Recorder #2: ...in a dress! [Timmy sighs and leaves. Fade to his room]
Timmy: Oh, man! [throws the dress off] I'm so embarrassed...
Cosmo: [as a goldfish] Well, at least nobody can see you up here on the second floor, right? [kids bounce up to the window and take photos of Timmy. Timmy sees Vicky outside]
Vicky: [to kids outside] See the boy in his underwear! Five bucks! [a girl gives her a dollar bill, then bounces up to Timmy's window on a trampoline with two other kids]
Timmy: I wish the trampoline was gone. [the wish is granted. The kids fall screaming and crash offscreen] I hate being babysat by Vicky! [as Cosmo and Wanda put him in his normal clothes] She can do anything she wants to me and I can't stop her!
Wanda: Well, kiddo... that's kind of what the babysitter gets to do!
Timmy: Yeah! And if I was the babysitter, she'd have to listen to me, right?
Cosmo: Ooo! Ooo! know where this is going! [he "poofs" into a Carmen Miranda costume]
Timmy: Yeah! I wish I could be Vicky's babysitter!
Cosmo: Maybe I don't know where this is going. [he and Wanda raise their wands. Cut to the living room. Vicky starts to shrink into a five-year-old]
Little Vicky: Huh? Huh? Hey! What happened? [Timmy comes up to her] Who are you? And where am I? Everything looks bigger.
Timmy: Hi, Vicky! You're five! And I'm your ten-year-old babysitter, Timmy! You're in for a great day!
Little Vicky: Really?
Timmy: [holding up a plunger] Nope. Welcome to the corner of Pay and Back. [fade to the yard. Vicky is using the plunger to remove grass from the ground. Timmy is relaxing on a chair]
Little Vicky: I can't cut the grass with just a plunger!
Timmy: You're right, Twerpette. My bad. [holds up a mop] Knock yourself out. [drops the mop on her]
Little Vicky: But...
Timmy: Ah! We wouldn't want your mommy to hear this, would we? [presses the first tape recorder]
Recorded Little Vicky: Hi, I'm Vicky! And I...
Deep Male Voice: ...stole from my mom's purse!
Little Vicky: I never stole from my mom's purse! [Timmy takes out another recorder and presses the first one]
Little Vicky on Recorder #1: Hi, I'm Vicky and I... [Timmy presses the other recorder]
Little Vicky on Recorder #2: ...stole from my mom's purse! [a sad Vicky leaves with the mop]
Timmy: This is great! Fear the power of the new babysitter! [laughs evilly]
Wanda: [as a goldfish] Uh, you know, honey, being mean shouldn't make you that happy...
Timmy: Maybe you're right, Wanda.
Wanda: Really?
Timmy: Nope! I'm gonna give Vicky the most miserable day of her life. So declares Evil Babysitter Timmy! [lightning strikes, and he laughs evilly. Fade to Vicky watering a flower in the garden] Hey, Wanda, could you turn into a fire hose?
Wanda: Gonna help Vicky water the plants?
Timmy: Something like that. [Wanda turns into a hose, and he uses her to spray Vicky. He smiles but then notices Wanda glaring at him. Fade to a wet and shivering Vicky in the living room] Man. I don't even like her and I feel sorry for her. I thought getting back at Vicky would be fun. But... maybe I should apologize.
Wanda: Way to go, Timmy. You've had enough revenge for one day, dontcha think?
Cosmo: Yeah, Timmy. Just remember all the good times you've had with Vicky.
Timmy: Yeah, I guess... [as he walks, he remembers Vicky making a fist at him, yelling at him and giving him a wedgie. By the time he makes it to Vicky, he looks furious. Vicky looks at him and he shakes his head] Hey, Vicky. I wanted to say I'm sorry.
Little Vicky: Really?
Timmy: I wanted to... but I changed my mind! [he puts a duncecap on her head, paints clown makeup on her and raises a window's blinds, revealing bandaged kids who laugh at her. She cries] Ha... ah ha... ah... That's odd.
Cosmo: What?
Timmy: I thought this would be hilarious! Why isn't it hilarious? I just got my ultimate revenge on Vicky! Evil Vicky! Icky with a V!
Wanda: [magically lowering the blinds and making the duncecap and makeup disappear] No, all you did was use our magic to torment a five-year-old girl 'til she cried!
Timmy: You're right. I should wish her back to normal. [the fairies raise their wands] I... [a fairy dispatcher appears]
Fairy Dispatcher: Reassignment orders for Wanda and Cosmo!
Cosmo: [pointing to Wanda] She's Wanda and Cosmo!
Fairy Dispatcher: You're being reassigned to a sad little kid who needs your help.
Timmy: What? Who's the sad little kid?
Fairy Dispatcher: [points to Vicky] Her.
Timmy, Cosmo and Wanda: What?!
Wanda: We don't wanna be her Godparents! She's mean!
Cosmo: Yeah! We like Timmy! His hat is pink!
Fairy Dispatcher: So? She's a kid. She's miserable. You're fairies. Make her happy. Because unless she says "I'm happy and I don't need my Fairy Godparents anymore", you two are stuck with her. [makes the godparents disappear]
Timmy: But... But this is all a huge misunderstanding!
Fairy Dispatcher: So? Who cares what you think? You're a mean babysitter! [disappears. Lightning strikes. Cosmo and Wanda appear in front of Vicky, who sees them]
Cosmo: [boredly] I'm Cosmo.
Wanda: [boredly] And I'm Wanda.
Cosmo and Wanda: And we're... [they make a flickering neon sign reading "Fairy Godparents" appear] your Fairy Godparents. [the S on the sign comes loose]
Little Vicky: Neato! I have Fairy Godparents? [the fairies nod. She smiles menacingly at Timmy] Welcome to the corner of Pay and Back! [Timmy screams, runs to his closet and boards up the door]
Timmy: Okay... maybe she won't find me here... but in case she does... [he gets a Sketch-A-Dial, shakes it to erase the message "Dad was here" and starts writing with it] I, Timmy Turner, being of sound mind and no godparents, do hereby bequeath... [the writing turns into a likeness of Wanda]
Wanda: Sorry about this, Timmy. [the toy becomes like a bat]
Timmy: [screams] Bat! Bat! Bat! Bat! [he dives through the closet door and throws the poster that was on it off his head] Alright, Vicky! You're getting your revenge now. Fine. I deserve it.
Cosmo: [as a dragon] Hey, Timmy! Look at me! I'm terrifying! [Timmy screams and zips away. Cosmo breathes fire. Timmy runs to the living room and stops. It is now "an insane, all-powerful child's playhouse". A throne with Vicky on it rises. The fairies are chained to it. Vicky snaps her fingers, and the fairies make a giant mechanical Vicky grab Timmy]
Little Vicky: I wish you had pimples! [the fairies grant the wish] And looked like a pig! [the fairies grant the wish. The mechanical Vicky starts bringing Timmy toward its mouth]
Timmy: Stop granting her wishes, you guys!
Wanda: Oh, we can't, Timmy. We're her Godparents now!
Timmy: You two have to do something, 'cause it's only a matter of time before she totally kills me!
Wanda: Oh, she can't do that, Timmy, it's against the rules!
Little Vicky: What? There's rules? What do you mean, there's rules? [she snaps, and the mechanical Vicky raises Timmy up to her]
Timmy: Well, yeah. Uh... you see, with every pair of Godparents, you get a nifty rule book! [Da Rules appear] There's lots of rules, Vicky. But the most important thing is, [writing in the book] you can never say this sentence right here...
Little Vicky: [snapping] Lemme see the rule book! [the book appears open in front of her; reading] "I'm happy and I don't need my godparents anymore"? Why would I say that? [the book turns into the fairy dispatcher, who is wearing a bath towel and holding a bath brush]
Fairy Dispatcher: Awright! Who said "I'm happy and I don't need my godparents anymore"?
Cosmo and Wanda: [pointing to Vicky] She did! She did! She did!
Little Vicky: Oh yeah? Prove it! [Timmy presses a tape recorder]
Recorded Little Vicky: "I'm happy and I don't need my godparents anymore"?
Fairy Dispatcher: Inconceivable! You made this kid go from miserable to content in nothing flat! [stamps a smiley face on Vicky's forehead]
Little Vicky: Hey! [the chains disappear and Timmy and the room turn back to normal]
Fairy Dispatcher: [to Timmy] You, on the other hand, are a miserable, miserable kid! [Timmy frowns. The dispatcher turns away from him, and he smiles. The dispatcher looks at him, and he frowns; to Cosmo and Wanda] Miserable kid. Fairy Godparents. Make with the happy. [disappears. Cosmo and Wanda appear by Timmy]
Little Vicky: I lost my Godparents? Already? Nooooooooooo!
Cosmo: Hey, whaddaya gonna do to her, Timmy? Head like a toilet? Face fulla zits?
Timmy: Oh no... Better than that... [wipe to a carnival in the backyard]
Little Vicky: But I'm miserable! Why won't anybody believe me? I'm... [a sundae appears in front of her] Ooooo! Vanilla! [starts eating the sundae]
Wanda: [to Timmy] Why are you being so nice to Vicky?
Timmy: Well... if it weren't for her making me so miserable, I wouldn't have gotten you guys in the first place! So I'm gonna give her the best day of her life! And best of all, when I wish her back to 16, she won't remember a thing!
Wanda: See, Timmy? Two wrongs don't make a right!
Cosmo: Yeah, but three rights make a left! And now it's time for the show! [poofs into the Carmen Miranda costume]♪ Laaa... cucaracha, la cucaracha! ♪
♪ Enchilada blah blah blah! ♪
♪ La cucaracha, la cucaracha! ♪
Timmy: Wanda?
Cosmo: ♪ And a burrito blah blah blah! ♪[Wanda turns into a hose and sprays him. Iris out. Flushing is heard as the end title card is shown. Fade to black]
