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The Fairly OddParents!
episode transcript
"The Switch Glitch"
Season №: 2
Episode №: 14B
Airdate: July 12, 2002
Transcript List

This article is a transcript of the The Fairly OddParents! episode, "The Switch Glitch" from Season 2, which aired on July 12, 2002.


Script[]

(Episode begins in Timmy's bedroom. Timmy sleeps in his pajamas.)

(A rooster crows and the sun rises.)

  • Timmy: It's Saturday!

(Cosmo and Wanda lift their wands. A marching band goes on in Timmy's room playing celebratory music. A group of cheerleaders holds up a bunch of signs saying "SATURDAY". Cosmo and Wanda poof them away when they finish.)

  • Timmy: [walks over to the fishbowl, now dressed] You guys know what Saturday means!
  • Cosmo: Cartoons!

(Cosmo poofs as Tom and he chases a Jerry-like mouse.)

  • Wanda: Outdoor activities like gardening and bird watching!

(Wanda poofs some flowers and birds. Timmy frowns at Wanda)

  • Wanda: Or cartoons...
  • Cosmo: [looks outside and sees Vicky peddling toward the house on her bike.] Or Vicky. Wait. That’s not a good thing. Or Vicky!
  • Timmy: No! [races downstairs]
  • Dad: Now Timmy, you know you can't come with us to the Mother Father No Kids Allowed Cookout.
  • Timmy: But it's Saturday! Sat-ur-day! (Throws confetti) We have a deal! It's saying here clearly, and I quote: "Timmy will not never need a babysitter on the weekends."
  • Dad: Well, you're right son, and this is a legal document, a really nice legal document!
  • Mom: And now it's fish wrap, really nice fish wrap. Don't feel bad sweetie, it's just one Saturday. You'll have a lot more fun here with Vicky.

(Timmy's Mom opens the door. Outside, Vicky is grinding an axe on a grindstone. Seeing she is noticed; Vicky kicks the grindstone away and hides the axe behind her back.)

  • Timmy: How do you know?
  • Mom and Dad: Well... Bye! [they run out the door]
  • Vicky: Bye, Mr. and Mrs. Turner!

(Vicky hears a torque wrench coming from in the house. Inside, Timmy has sheltered himself in a makeshift bunker.)

  • Timmy: Stay away from me, Vicky.
  • Vicky: Oh, don't worry twerpy. I brought all kinds of fun things for us to do together.
  • Timmy: [leaps forward] Really?
  • Vicky: NOPE! [throws pile of shoes onto Timmy] These are my shoes that need to be shined. [throws bags of laundry onto Timmy] These are my clothes that need to be washed. [forklifts a pile of books onto Timmy] And this is my homework that needs to be done!

(Timmy pokes his head out from the pile of stuff on top of him)

  • Vicky: [pointing to her rear end] And this is my butt, which will be on that chair, WHILE I WATCH YOU DO IT ALL!
  • Timmy: And if I refuse?
  • Vicky: [pulls out tape recorder] Then I let your parents listen to this recording I made of you.

(Vicky presses the play button on her recorder)

  • Recorder: [Timmy's voice] Hi! I'm Timmy Turner, and I - [deep man's voice] cheated on my math test!
  • Timmy: I never cheated on my math test!

(Vicky pulls out another recorder.)

  • Recorder #1: Hi! I'm Timmy Turner, and I-
  • Recorder #2: Cheated on my math test!
  • Timmy: I'll get to work...
  • Vicky: Wait! [pulls out pink dress]

(Timmy looks frightened. Vicky reaches down to Timmy and quickly puts the dress on him.)

  • Timmy: I'm not doing chores in a dress!

(Vicky pulls out the two recorders again.)

  • Recorder #1: Hi! I'm Timmy Turner, and I'm -
  • Recorder #2: In a dress!

(Timmy sighs and walks off to do the chores. Fade out.)

(Fade into Timmy's room. He angrily tosses the dress onto Cosmo and Wanda's fishbowl and is now in nothing but his underwear.)

  • Timmy: Oh man! I'm so embarrassed.
  • Cosmo: Well, at least no one can see you up here on the second floor, right?

(People with cameras jump in view of Timmy's window taking pictures. Timmy looks outside.)

  • Vicky: See the boy in his underwear. 5 bucks.
  • Timmy: I wish the trampoline was gone.

(The trampoline disappears, and the crowd screams as they plummet to the ground with a crash. Cosmo and Wanda poof Timmy's clothes back on.)

  • Timmy: I hate being babysat by Vicky. She can do anything she wants to me, and I can't stop her.
  • Wanda: Well, kiddo, that's kind of what the babysitter gets to do.
  • Timmy: Yeah, and if I was the babysitter, she'd have to listen to me, right?
  • Cosmo: Ooh! Ooh! I know where this is going.

(Poofs himself like a samba dancer)

  • Timmy: Yeah, I wish I could be Vicky's babysitter.
  • Cosmo: Maybe I don't know where this is going.

(Cosmo and Wanda turn Vicky five years old)

  • Little Vicky: What? Huh? Hey, what happened?

(Timmy approaches five-year-old Vicky)

  • Little Vicky: Who are you? And where am I? Everything looks bigger.
  • Timmy: Hi, Vicky, you're five and I'm your ten-year-old babysitter Timmy. You're in for a great day.
  • Little Vicky: Really?

(Timmy pulls out a toilet plunger)

  • Timmy: Nope! Welcome to the corner of pay and back!

(Fade to Little Vicky mowing the lawn with the plunger Timmy gave her)

  • Little Vicky: I can't cut the grass with just a plunger.
  • Timmy: You're right, Twerpette, my bad.

(Timmy pulls out a mop)

  • Timmy: Knock yourself out.
  • Little Vicky: But-
  • Timmy: Ah. We wouldn't want your mommy to hear this, would we?

(Timmy presses the play button on his recorder)

  • Recorder: [Vicky's voice] Hi! I'm Vicky, and I - [deep man's voice] Stole from my mom's purse!
  • Little Vicky: I never stole from my mom's purse!

(Timmy pulls out another recorder.)

  • Recorder #1: Hi! I'm Vicky, and I-
  • Recorder #2: Stole from my mom's purse.

(Little Vicky takes the mop and storms out)

  • Timmy: This is great! Fear the power of the new babysitter! (EVIL LAUGH)
  • Wanda: You know honey, being mean shouldn't make you that happy.
  • Timmy: Maybe you're right, Wanda.
  • Wanda: Really?
  • Timmy: Nope! I'm gonna give Vicky the most miserable day of her life, so declares evil babysitter Timmy! (EVIL LAUGH)

(Timmy standing behind a thunderclap during his evil laugh, fade to Little Vicky watering the garden)

  • Timmy: Hey Wanda, could you turn into a fire hose?
  • Wanda: Gonna help Vicky water the plants?
  • Timmy: Something like that.

(Wanda becomes a fire hose, Timmy blasts Little Vicky and Wanda glares at Timmy, fade to inside Timmy's house and Little Vicky is soaked)

  • Timmy: Man, I don't even like her and I feel sorry for her. I thought getting back at Vicky would be fun, but maybe I should apologize.
  • Wanda: Way to go, Timmy. You've had enough revenge for one day, don't you think?
  • Cosmo: Yeah, Timmy. Just remember all the good times you've had with Vicky!
  • Timmy: Yeah, I guess.

(Timmy heads over to the living room, but then starts remembering all the times that 16-year-old Vicky has tormented him and gets mad, but he hides it from Little Vicky)

  • Timmy: Hey Vicky, I wanted to say I'm sorry.
  • Little Vicky: Really?
  • Timmy: I wanted to, BUT I CHANGED MY MIND!

(Timmy puts a DUH cap on Little Vicky's head and paints her face like a clown and opens his living room window and the injured people start laughing at her and she starts crying)

  • Timmy: (Laughs at Little Vicky, but it's weak) That's odd.
  • Cosmo: What?
  • Timmy: I thought this would be hilarious. Why isn't it hilarious? I just got my ultimate revenge on Vicky; Evil Vicky; Icky with a "V".

(Wanda closes the blinds and cleans up Little Vicky's face)

  • Wanda: No, all you did was use our magic to torment a five-year-old girl till she cried.
  • Timmy: You're right. I should wish her back to normal. I–

(Before Timmy can make the wish, a reassigning fairy suddenly appears)

  • Reassigning Fairy: Reassignment orders for Wanda and Cosmo. (Holds out a reassignment order)
  • Cosmo: She's Wanda and Cosmo.
  • Reassigning Fairy: You're being reassigned to a sad, little kid who needs your help.
  • Timmy: What?! Who's the sad, little kid?
  • Reassigning Fairy: Her. (Points to a miserable Little Vicky)
  • Timmy, Wanda and Cosmo: (simultaneously) What?!
  • Wanda: We don't want to be her godparents! She's mean!
  • Cosmo: Yeah, we like Timmy! His hat is pink!
  • Reassigning Fairy: So? She's a kid, she's miserable. You're fairies. Make her happy. Because unless she says (makes a paper appear with the words he says) "I'm happy and I don't need my fairy godparents anymore," you two are stuck with her!

(He poofs Wanda and Cosmo away)

  • Timmy: But... but this is all a huge misunderstanding!
  • Reassigning Fairy: So?! Who cares what you think?! You're a mean babysitter!

(The reassigning fairy disappears. Timmy stands there, while a thunderclap happens behind him)

  • Little Vicky: (Sobbing)

(Cosmo and Wanda appear right in front of Little Vicky)

  • Cosmo: (deadpan) I'm Cosmo.
  • Wonda: (also deadpan) And I'm Wanda.
  • Cosmo and Wanda: And we're...(Poofing up the neon sign with one of the letters falling) ...your fairy godparents.
  • Little Vicky: Neato. I have fairy godparents?

(Cosmo and Wanda nod while Little Vicky stares at Timmy with an idea for revenge)

  • Little Vicky: Welcome to the corner of pay and back!
  • Timmy: Aah! (He runs up to his room and hides himself in the closet and nails the door shut.)
  • Timmy: Okay. Maybe she won't find me here. But in case she does...(He takes out the Sketch-a-Dial and starts writing.)
  • Timmy: "I, Timmy Turner, being of sound, mind, and no godparents, do hereby bequeath--"

(Suddenly, Wanda's face appears on the Sketch-a-Dial)

  • Wanda: Sorry about this, Timmy.

(She turns into a big scary bat.)

  • Timmy: Aah! A bat! A bat! A bat! A bat!

(Timmy screams and bursts the door down and backing to the window.)

  • Timmy: All right, Vicky. You're getting your revenge now. Fine. I deserve it.

(Suddenly, Cosmo, in the form of a dragon, pops his head into the window.)

  • Cosmo: Hey, Timmy, look at me! I'm terrifying!
  • Timmy: Aah!

(Timmy screams and runs away as Cosmo breathes fire.)

(Timmy runs down into the living room to find a nightmare. Dolls and toys that look like something out of a horror film are all over the room and in the center of it all is a giant robot of Vicky, only it was Vicky when she was a 16-year-old girl before Timmy made this horrible wish. Sitting on a throne on the robot's head is Vicky, still a five-year-old, but wearing a crown and cloak and carrying a scepter. Chained to the throne are Cosmo and Wanda, looking absolutely miserable. Little Vicky smiles and snaps her fingers. The robot reaches out and grabs Timmy before he can escape.)

  • Little Vicky: I wish you had pimples.

(Cosmo and Wanda have no choice but to obey. Timmy's face breaks out in acne.)

  • Little Vicky: And looked like a pig!

(Timmy turns into a pig and the giant robot version of Vicky starts pulling Timmy towards its mouth with its metal teeth chumping.)

  • Timmy: Stop granting her wishes, you guys!
  • Wanda: We can't, Timmy. We're her godparents now.
  • Timmy: You two have to do something, because it's only a matter of time before she totally kills me!

(Timmy panics while the robot pulls him closer.)

  • Wanda: Oh, she can't do that, Timmy. It's against the rules.

(Little Vicky's smile disappears.)

  • Little Vicky: What? There's rules? What do you mean there's rules?

(Little Vicky snaps her fingers and stops the giant robot from chomping and lifts Timmy to her, Cosmo and Wanda.)

  • Timmy: Well, yeah, uh, you see, with every pair of godparents, you get a nifty rule book. (A giant purple book titled "Da Rules" appears out of nowhere.) There's lots of rules, Vicky, But the most important thing is you can never say this sentence right here.

(Timmy writes something in it.)

  • Little Vicky: Let me see the rule book. (Reading aloud) "I'm happy and I don't need my godparents anymore."?! Why would I say that?
  • Reassigning Fairy: (appears in a bath cap and towel) All right. Who said, "I'm happy and I don't need my godparents anymore"?
  • Cosmo and Wanda: She did! She did! She did!
  • Little Vicky: Oh, yeah?! Prove it.

(Timmy presses the play button on his recorder)

  • Recorder: [Vicky's voice] I'm happy and I don't need my godparents anymore.
  • Reassigning Fairy: (Surprised) Inconceivable. You made this kid go from miserable to contented in nothing flat.

(Then a stamp with a happy face appears and the reassigning fairy puts the happy face stamp on Little Vicky's forehead)

  • Little Vicky: Hey!

(Cosmo and Wanda's chains disappear, Little Vicky changes back to her normal outfit, Timmy changes back from a pig and all of Little Vicky's wishes disappear and the living room is back to normal.)

  • Reassigning Fairy: (looking at Timmy) You, on the other hand, are a miserable, miserable kid. (both look at each other, confused for a second) Miserable kid, fairy godparents. Make with the happy.

(Cosmo and Wanda poof from Little Vicky to Timmy again.)

  • Little Vicky: (Confused and sad) I lost my godparents... already?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

(Timmy looks at Little Vicky crying)

  • Cosmo: Hey, what are you going to do to her, Timmy? Head like a toilet? Face full of zits?
  • Timmy: Oh, no, better than that. (smiles)

(Fade in at the backyard where a carnival is occurring while children play, but Little Vicky sits at the table.)

  • Little Vicky: (whining) But I'm miserable. (sobbing): Why won't anybody believe me? I'm-- (then a big bowl of ice cream appears) (smiles): Ooh, vanilla. (Little Vicky eats the ice cream.)
  • Wanda: Why are you being so nice to Vicky?
  • Timmy: Well, if it weren't for her making me so miserable, I wouldn't have gotten you guys in the first place. So I'm going to give her the best day of her life. (Little Vicky is still eating the ice cream and gets some all over her face.) And best of all, when I wish her back to normal, she won't remember a thing.
  • Wanda: You see, Timmy? Two wrongs don't make a right.
  • Cosmo: Yeah. But rights make a left. And now it's time for the show. (Poofs himself like a samba dancer again)
  • Cosmo: ♪ La cucaracha ♪ La cucaracha ♪ Enchilada blah blah blah ♪ ♪ La cucaracha, la cucaracha ♪
  • Timmy: Wanda?

(Wanda becomes a fire hose.)

  • Cosmo: ♪ And a burrito blah blah blah ♪

(Wanda blasts him with water)

  • Cosmo: Oh!


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