- Mr. Turner: Oh boy, face cake!
- Dr. Rip Studwell: Cosmo's faggigly gland is (Cosmo turns into a baseball bat) Far from fine.
- Timmy: What's a giggiglyhui?
- Jorgen: They are both form fitting and slimming.
- Anti-Wanda: It's true, y'all. Check me out! I look like one of them teeny little runway models. 'Cepting for my teeth (She takes a hot dog and bites it) and the fact that I'm eating food.
- Timmy: Anti-Wanda? Hey, it's your opposite Anti-Fairy.
- Jorgen: Yes, we keep here the most evil prisoners like him! Anti-Cosmo!
- Anti-Cosmo: Hello, Clarice.
- Wanda: Who's Clarice?
- Anti-Cosmo: Oh so sorry! Can't see anything without my monocle! (puts monocle on)
- Timmy: I don't like this. Anti-Cosmo is the opposite of Cosmo! Smart, evil,.. Uhh... smart!
- Anti-Cosmo: Relax Child! I know you're here because Cosmo's faggigly gland is going bad!
- Cosmo: (about his broken Faggigly Gland) How'd you know that?
- Anti-Cosmo: Because I'm the opposite of you, Cosmo you ignorant boob! And my Faggigly Gland (turns into cow) is going good. Moo! My days as an anti-fairy are coming to an end.
- Cosmo: You know? (turns into a racket) for evil genius, he didn't bother even taking time measuring that stick.
- Wanda: Why didn't you?
- Cosmo: (turns into a dumbbell) Stupid, remember? Stupid?
- Timmy: Can we go now?
- Jorgen: Well, since your laundry isn't screaming like a face cake, sure.
- Anti-Wanda: My Anti-Cosmo sure was right when he said you'd be so busy looking in the laundry basket you'd never think to look under this thing.
- Anti-Cosmo: Oh, Anti-Wanda, I do love you so much, but you are such a twit!
- Wanda: I feel your pain.
- Jorgen: You fools! No one escapes Jorgen Von- [changes into a duck] Quack! [falls] Oof! Ahh! My fagiggly gland! I must find the Anti-Jorgen!
- Cosmo: If I don't make it, stay away from my wife!!
- Anti-Cosmo: And If I DO make it, take mine!!
- Anti-Cosmo (with Cosmo's voice): Bye Timmy, Bye Wanda!
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