The Forbidden Phrase/Transcript

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The Fairly OddParents: Fairly Odder episode transcript
"The Forbidden Phrase"
Episode	2
Airdate	March 31, 2022
Transcript List

This article is a transcript of the Fairly OddParents: Fairly Odder episode "The Forbidden Phrase", which aired on March 31, 2022.

Script

(A shot of Dimmsdale Junior High; then cut to Viv and Roy doing Homework)

Roy: You know what this whole homework situation calls for?

Viv: 200-

Roy: 200 chocolate bars!

(Cosmo and Wanda poof onto a history book.)

Wanda: Roy, every day after school, you wish for 200 chocolate bars.

Roy: And every day after school I’m a happy man. Poof me!

Cosmo: Poofing!

(Cosmo raises his wand; “CHOCOLATE” 200 chocolate bars appear on the table.)

Zina: Hey bestie, hey Roy.

(Viv covers Cosmo and Wanda with another book.)

Zina: Oh, Roy, didn’t see you there.

Viv: You literally said, “Hey Roy.”

Zina: Shut up! Something smells sweet.

Viv: It’s these 200 chocolate bars.

Zina: Pretty sure it’s Roy. Permission to confirm that theory?

Roy: Permission denied.

Zina: Playing hard to get. Mama like. But you owe me an extra big sniff later. Hey, how did you guys get all these chocolate bars every day?

Roy: The internet?

Zina: Oh, I love the internet.

(Ty and Rachel are shown dressed as teenagers)

Ty: Whattup, peeps!

Rachel: What are you three fine home-skillets getting after out here?

Ty: I don’t know about you foolios, but we are ready to YOLO our FOMOs.

(Ty and Rachel both do a floss dance)

Roy: What are you doing, Mom?

Viv: Same question to you Dad.

Rachel: (In a valley girl tone) Mom? Dad? Is that what us “kidz”, with a Z, are calling each other these “dayz”, also with a Z?

Ty: Sounds bomb-diggity to me. Hup!

(Ty and Rachel both begin hopping with one leg.)

Ty: What’s the dizzle… with my bizzle…

(Ty and Rachel both stop hopping with one leg.)

Ty: Sizzle? I simply cannot go on like this anymore. (takes off his cap) It’s been me all along, Ty Turner.

Viv: I know who you are dad.

Ty: This is my lovely wife, Rachel. Roy, you know her as Mom.

Rachel: (throws down her cap) Never been more ashamed in my entire life, masquerading as a youth, tricking my own sweet son and easily fooled stepdaughter.

Viv: You didn’t fool me for a second.

Rachel: Okay sure, Viv.

Viv: And what are you even doing at our school? Why are you pretending to be teens?

Rachel: Ugh, we need to make a viral ClikClok dance video to save our ballroom studio.

Ty: Fancy Dance Dance Studio.

(Ty and Rachel clap twice in unison)

Rachel: But grown ups are never alone in viral videos unless they’re getting pranked or getting hit in very sensitive areas.

Ty: Or getting pranked and getting hit in very sensitive areas.

Roy: Wait, people aren’t coming to Fancy Dance Dance Studio?

(Ty, Rachel, and Roy clap twice in unison)

Rachel: No. Turns out no one is interested in ballroom dance anymore.

Ty: And if people don’t sign up for classes, we can’t use our skills to pay the bills. And that is not spelled with a Z because it’s serious.

Rachel: But, if we can make a viral video of an original ClikClok dance, then we’ll become internet famous and people will sign up.

Ty: Booyah!

Rachel: Honey, we’re off that. Keep up.

Ty: That’s my bizzle completely. I’m gonna go take a five.

Viv: Well, maybe I can help. I’ve actually been reading up on how to grow small businesses. Branding strategies, capital receipt expenditure…

Rachel: And I’m falling asleep…

Zina: What about celebrities?

Rachel: And I’m waking up.

Zina: What you need is a celebrity to like your video, share your video, best-case scenario, duet your video. A celebrity such as, (shows Dustan Lumberlake on her phone) Dustan Lumberlake.

Rachel: What? Even beautiful moms like me love him!

Zina: He’s been asking his fans to send him original songs and dances. If he likes them, he makes a video of himself singing and dancing along. To get a guy like Dustan Lumberlake to duet your video, viral.

Ty: No diggity, but we’re not songwriters. We’re song-dancers.

Rachel: We’ll never be able to write a whole song.

Zina: That’s where Zina, aka the voice, comes in.

(They think it’s gonna work, but cut to the next scene where Zina is playing a song on her guitar terribly)

Zina: (Shouty and off-key singing while playing guitar) ♪ Just to sniff you, up and down. ♪

♪ From your feet up to your crown. ♪

♪ If you were wearing a crown. ♪

♪ And you should always be wearing a crown! ♪

Viv: That was super good!

Zina: You gorgeous girl, you really mean that?

Viv: I do, and I think it might even be too super good. (takes the guitar away from Zina)

Roy: What?

Viv: I think, that Dustan Lumberlake is gonna be jealous of that song, and your uh…singing.

Roy: Viv, were we in the same room?

Viv: I think that us songwriting noobs here should write it, so it won’t be too good, and our boy DL won’t be jell.

Zina: Okay, so you’re lying to me.

Viv: No.

Zina: (gets up off the couch) You think I don’t know when my best friend in the entire world is lying to me? The nerve.

Viv: Uh…uh…

Roy: Um, hey, I sure wish an ice cream truck would go by right now.

Zina: What?

Roy: I said, I sure wish an ice cream truck would go by right now. (Cosmo and Wanda disguised as fish raise their wands.)

Zina: I heard you, hot stuff, but I know for a fact that Eddy doesn’t hit this neighborhood until 5:36.

(An ice cream truck jingle can be faintly heard)

Zina: (Gasps) Eddy’s early! (Runs off but stops running and looks back at Viv and Roy.) I’d wish you good luck without me, but sometime soon, you’re going to be begging your old friend Zina to help you write this song. You’ll come back. They always come crawling back to Zina! (Walks off)

Viv: Who’s “They”?

Zina: (Shouting as she runs down the stairs.) Eddy, wait! Zina hungy!

Wanda: Ugh, finally. (She and Cosmo poof to fairy form.) I’ve heard sick cats that sing better than that.

Cosmo: Yeah, like in that movie, “Cats”. (Poofs into a cat creature) Those were some sick kitties. Me-ouch!

Wanda: If you two kiddos need a wish, then make it snappy. (Pulls out her watch) We’ve got a work party to go to at our boss’s house.

Cosmo: And Jorgen Von Strangle makes us tour (Pulls out a toilet plunger) all of his bathrooms every time.

(Wanda poofs herself as an imitation of Jorgen von Strangle behind a donut posing as a portal.)

Wanda: (as Jorgen) "Puny fairies, you've already missed 20 bathrooms on the tour! Now come enjoy some store-bought canapés!" (poofs herself back and fist-bumps Cosmo)

Viv: Well, before you start your journey of a thousand toilets, I wish for you to help us write the catchiest song of all time.

Roy: Yes, then our parents can choreograph a dance to it, we shoot a ClikClok video of us dancing to it, tag Dustan Lumberlake, and boom, viral!

Cosmo: Well, clap your hands and raise the roof. You say wish and I'll go poof.

Viv: Wait, do I really have to do this?

Cosmo: Nope, just being a goof.

Viv & Roy: Awesome!

Wanda: Both instruments have a catchy dial. Turn them all the way to ten and let the magic happen!

Roy: But the catchy dials go up to 11. Why do we have to stop at ten?

Wanda: Ten is plenty catchy, trust me.

Cosmo: Olivia Rodrigo stops at a ten, and don't you tell me Olivia Rodrigo isn't catchy enough!

(Jorgen tears a hole in the fabric of the universe.)

Cosmo: Ah!

Jorgen von Strangle: Puny fairies,

Jorgen von Strangle: you have already missed 20 bathrooms on the tour!

Jorgen von Strangle: Now come enjoy some store-bought canapés.

Cosmo: We gotta dip.

Roy: Turning it to 11, right?

Viv: Absolutely not.

Roy: I heard "absolutely" and then stopped listening.

Roy: 11!

Viv: Roy.

Viv: I really think we should listen to Cosmo and Wanda and keep it at ten.

Roy: Dang, step-sis, you look cool.

Viv: Me?

Roy: Cha!

Roy: You're the only cool-looking step-sis in the room.

Viv: Cha...

Roy: So...11?

Viv: It's prime time!

Roy: What?

Viv: Because 11 is a prime number, so prime time was, like, a playful way of...

Viv: 11!

Roy: Cha!

Viv & Roy: (perform the Monkey Song for Ty and Rachel)

Ty: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Ty: Where'd you learn to play those instruments?

Viv & Roy: The Internet.

Rachel: Oh, I love the Internet.

(The Turner-Raskin perform the Monkey Dance for a ClikClok video)

Viv: Six views is not ideal.

Viv: You did tag Dustan Lumberlake, right?

Roy: I was born in the 2000s.

Roy: Of course I tagged Dustan Lumberlake.

Viv: Then I guess there's nothing to do but sit around and hope he sees it.

(a knock on the door)

Roy: Can you imagine if I opened the door right now

Roy: and it was Dustan Lumberlake?

Viv: That would be ridiculous.

Roy: I know.

Roy: I'd be like, "Oh, my God!"

Viv: And I'd be like,

Viv: "Are you kidding me?"

Roy: Oh, my God!

Viv: Are you kidding me?

Dustan Lumberlake: Do you know what you have done?

Dustan Lumberlake: Do you know what you have done?

Roy: For the last time, no, I do not!

Viv: What's going on?

Roy: Shari Underwood?

Shari Underwood: You got that right, partner.

Viv: Jimmy Hiphop?

Jimmy Hiphop: Word.

Roy: Rockin' Joel?

Rockin' Joel: You got that right, mate!

Roy: My grandparents love you.

Viv: I didn't know you were still alive.

Rockin' Joel: Oh, come on, love.

Rockin' Joel: That hurts, it does. Bit offside, innit?

Viv: We cannot understand you.

Dustan Lumberlake: Well, listen,

Dustan Lumberlake: this isn't about Joel's indecipherable accent.

Dustan Lumberlake: This is about that little ClikClok song you wrote.

Dustan Lumberlake: It used the forbidden phrase.

Roy: What's the forbidden phrase?

Rockin' Joel: I can explain it.

Rockin' Joel: Basically, it's like--

Roy: Can someone else explain it?

Jimmy Hiphop: A'ight, bet.

Jimmy Hiphop: So check it. Betta not disrespect the man before you wreck it--

Roy: Shari, your turn.

(Shari sings an incredibly high pitched note)

Roy: And back to Dustan.

Dustan Lumberlake: The forbidden phrase is a specific string of notes that is dangerously catchy. It's actually illegal to put the forbidden phrase into a song.

Viv: I told you we shouldn't have gone to 11.

Roy: So which part of our song has the forbidden phrase?

Dustan Lumberlake: We don't know. We made sure not to listen to it.

Dustan Lumberlake: But we did receive security alerts on our phones

Dustan Lumberlake: because we're--

Dustan Lumberlake: the Council of Pop Superstars.

(Dustan, Shari, Jimmy and Joel hold out their phones showing the alert they received)

Viv: So what do we do now?

Dustan Lumberlake: You need to stop that song from spreading or the forbidden phrase will worm its way into the brain of every person in Dimmsdale.

Roy: What happens then?

Dustan Lumberlake: If the forbidden phrase gets into someone's head,

Dustan Lumberlake: all they want to do is listen to it over and over and over again.

Dustan Lumberlake: They stop caring about their jobs,

Dustan Lumberlake: their families,

Dustan Lumberlake: their succulents.

Dustan Lumberlake: Eventually, their brains turn to mush because all they want to do is listen to the forbidden phrase--

Dustan Lumberlake: quit messing with the lights, Joel!

Rockin' Joel: Sorry, bruv.

Rockin' Joel: Lighting's 95% of the show, innit?

Dustan Lumberlake: Luckily for you two, the process of composing the forbidden phrase makes you immune to its power.

Rockin' Joel: It won't feast on its own creators, bruv.

Rockin' Joel: Good spot of luck, innit?

Dustan Lumberlake: He's saying you two are good, but if you don't fix this, everyone in Dimmsdale will be a head-bopping zombie by sundown.

Viv: Okay, well, how do we fix this?

Dustan Lumberlake: We don't know.

Roy: Wait, seriously?

Dustan Lumberlake: We're pop superstars.

Dustan Lumberlake: We don't joke about being useless.

Jimmy Hiphop: Let's bounce, council.

Viv: Wait, so you're really not gonna stay here and help us?

Rockin' Joel: Sorry, love, we've got brunch booked at WeHo and then--oh, ah!

(Rockin' Joel falls into a bush offscreen.)

Rockin' Joel: I fell in a bush!

Roy: I think that means no.

Viv: Okay, Mr. Elevens, what do we do now?

Roy: We relax.

Roy:'ll delete the video now.

Roy: Problem solved.

Roy: Oh, hey, guys.

Wanda: Just a quick poof between toilets to make sure you didn't turn the catchy dials to 11.

Viv & Roy: Uh...

Jorgen von Strangle: Cosmo, Wanda,

Jorgen von Strangle: it is still toilet time!

Viv: You heard the man.

Viv: Toilet time.

Cosmo: Suspicious...

Viv: Okay, now delete the ClikClok video.

Roy: All right, all right, all right.

Roy: Just gonna...

Roy: Ooh, hold up. Text from my mom.

Viv: Delete our video first.

Roy: Viv, it's my mommy!

Roy: She says,

Roy: "Stop doing everything and turn on the Dimmsdale No Nonsense News.

Roy: PS, hope Viv isn't making too many math jokes, LOL."

Roy: Turn on the No Nonsense News!

Viv: Delete our video first,

Viv: and also, you didn't need to read that PS out loud.

Roy: My mommy said stop doing everything.

Roy: That includes deleting!

Judy Stoneface: Reporting live, I'm Judy Stoneface.

Judy Stoneface: You've heard of grand openings,

Judy Stoneface: but have you heard of grand closings?

Judy Stoneface: Who wrote this nonsense?

Judy Stoneface: Anyway, married hotties Ty Turner and Rachel Raskin are about to close their ballroom dance business, Fancy Dance Dance Studio.

(Ty and Rachel both clap)

Judy Stoneface: And it's all because of a song.

Viv: Oh, no.

Judy Stoneface: Oh, yes.

Rachel: Don't care job.

Rachel: Just care song.

Ty: Monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey.

Rachel: This song slaps and is a bop.

Rachel: Listen.

Judy Stoneface: Normally, I would dismiss that as nonsense,

Judy Stoneface: but if it really is a song that both is a bop and also slaps, I'm willing to make an exception.

Judy Stoneface: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Judy Stoneface: Okay. Well, it's official,

Judy Stoneface: I quit.

Viv & Roy: No!

Judy Stoneface: Signing off forever because I don't care job.

Judy Stoneface: Just care song.

Judy Stoneface: Good luck, world.

Judy Stoneface: I've been Judy Stoneface.

Viv: Oh, this is bad!

Roy: Yeah, I think the camera man just quit too.

Roy: Wanda, Cosmo!

Viv: Where are you?

Viv: We need your help!

Cosmo: I knew I was right to be suspicious!

Viv: Okay, fine, you got us, but we need you to help us.

Jorgen von Strangle: Puny fairies, get back here!

Jorgen von Strangle: My next bathroom has a Japanese robot toilet.

Wanda: Sorry, kids, gotta poof!

Viv: No--ugh.

Roy: Jealous.

Roy: Those Japanese robot toilets get it done!

Viv: Oh, no,

Viv: kids at school got to the video before you deleted it.

Viv: Now they're posting themselves doing the dance to our song.

Zina: You guys got any snacks?

Viv: Try the kitchen!

Zina: I can't really hear you,

Zina: but if you just suggested I check the kitchen,

Zina: I cleaned that out on my way up here.

Viv: Those are my pajamas!

Zina: Again, baby girl, I can't really hear you.

Zina: I've only been listening to and perfecting my song over and over for the last few days.

Roy: Did you pretend to want snacks just so you could come up here and say that?

Zina: For what I hope is the last time,

Zina: I can't really hear you!

Zina: Now I'm taking my talents and this sweatshirt back to my house.

Roy: Oh, you can kiss that sweatshirt goodbye.

Viv: We've got bigger problems.

(Viv and Roy scroll through ClikClok and see videos of people dancing to the Monkey song)

Phillipe: And that was for my cousin in gay Paree.

Phillipe: I tell him,

Phillipe: this song is a banger that also slaps!

Phillipe: Share to the whole continent of Europe and beyond!

Roy: We've got monkey troubles.

(Cosmo and Wanda poof in)

Cosmo: Hey, have you guys heard this song?

Wanda: Ooh, it slaps.

Roy: Oh, no.

Wanda: My cousin in Fairy Europe sent it to us.

Viv: We got monkey troubles.

Rockin' Joel: Oi, if anyone can hear me,

Rockin' Joel:I'm still stuck in the bush!

(Cosmo and Wanda do the Monkey dance)

Astronaut: Hey, we're way off course.

Other Astronaut: Who cares?

Other Astronaut: This song is banger!

Astronaut: Truth.

Astronaut: Hey, Houston, we have a bop.

Viv: Hey! Hello!

Roy: Can I have one of your wands, please?

Viv: I think we're on our own.

Roy: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

Roy: I know exactly how to fix this.

Viv: How?

Roy: Go downstairs,

Roy: we get the leftover gumbo out of the fridge,

Roy: we heat it up,

Roy:I eat it.

Viv: And?

Roy: We hopefully think of a way to get out of this.

Viv: That's not gonna work.

Roy: You've never had good gumbo, and it shows.

(Cosmo and Wanda do the Monkey dance)

Viv: I just don't see how Gumbo is gonna help us.

Roy: Tell me you've never had that good, good gumbo

Roy: without telling me you've never had that good, good gumbo.

Viv: What's going on?

Rachel: We're moving.

Ty: Gotta sell the house.

Viv: Why?

Ty: Can't stop listening to that monkey song.

Ty: Had to close studio.

Ty: Now we pack up and move.

Viv: Dad, you don't have to move.

Rachel: She's right, Ty.

Viv: Thank you.

Rachel: Instead of moving, we can just lie down on our faces and spend the rest of our lives listening to that song.

Viv: Not what I meant.

Judy Stoneface: Hello, I'm former news anchor Judy Stoneface.

Judy Stoneface: Is this where the monkey song was birthed?

Viv: Yes?

Judy Stoneface: It's nonsense and I love it.

Judy Stoneface: Monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey.

Rockin' Joel: Oi, ain't I seen you on the telly?

Rockin' Joel: Be a love and help a bruv out of this bush!

Roy: All right, everybody, calm down.

Roy: I've got the gumbo!

Roy: What are they doing?

Viv: They closed the dance studio and we're moving.

Roy: That's bad.

Viv: Oh, my god, the stock market crashed!

Roy: What's a stock market?

Viv: And the United Nations have quit working on world peace to focus on the monkey song.

Roy: Thank God I got this good, good gumbo.

Viv: How does the gumbo help us?

Zina: I smell gumbo.

Zina: I'm gonna need some of that gumbo later,

Zina: but first, you should all know that I finished perfecting my song.

Zina: I'll sing you the new chorus.

Zina: It's about you.

(Zina winks at Roy. Roy rolls his eyes.)

Viv: Yikes.

(Zina begins singing the Sniffing Song)

Ty: What is that awful noise?

Rachel: It's hurting my perfect ears.

(Zina continues singing)

Rachel: Zina, I will pay you more than you possess to stop that singing!

Ty: And I will pay you double.

Viv: Keep singing!

Roy: What?

Viv: Just trust me. Sing, Zina!

Zina: Okay.

Viv: I think Zina's voice is so terrible that it's breaking the spell.

(Zina continues singing)

Ty: What are all these boxes doing here?

And why aren't we at work?

Ty: I have no idea.

Rachel: Let's get out of here, Ty.

Rachel: Let's get some of that good, good gumbo and dance this horrible dream out of our beautiful minds.

Ty: Gumbo fixes everything.

Rachel: Of course it does.

Rachel: It's gumbo!

Viv: I think Zina's voice is so bad that it breaks the spell of the forbidden phrase.

Roy: Nah, Viv, it's the power.

Roy: The power of gumbo!

Viv: Oh, my God.

Viv: Hey, Zina, take off your headphones!

Zina: Sup, chica?

Viv: I want to record your song and send it to everyone in the world.

Zina: Of course you do.

Viv: What?

Zina: Like the mighty swallows returning to Capistrano.

Viv: Again, what?

Zina: They always come crawling back to Zina.

Viv: So can we record you?

Zina: For a price.

Viv: Name it.

Zina: I think you know what I want.

Roy: Did you guys know that there are 419 types of gumbo?

Roy: There's Creole Gumbo,

Roy: Gumbo Ya-ya,

Roy: Gumbo Yay-yay, Gumbo Boo-Boo--

Zina: Done.

Roy: She okay?

Viv: Yeah, she just fainted cause of your smell.

Viv: Wanda, Cosmo.

Wanda: I'm sorry, but your friend Zina is a terrible singer.

Cosmo: I was having a great monkey-related dream until that awful singing woke me up.

Viv: See, Wanda and Cosmo aren't song zombies anymore. My theory was right.

Viv: Zina's voice breaks the spell.

Roy: Okay, fine, Viv,

Roy: it wasn't the gumbo at all.

Viv: Okay, Roy, wish that literally every single screen in the entire world played this video, like, ten times in a row, just to be sure.

Roy: You heard the lady.

Astronaut: Houston,

Astronaut: we are back on course,

Astronaut: but we're just gonna hang out up in space until that girl is done singing.

Dustan Lumberlake: I'm giving a tour of my bathrooms. What do you want?

Dustan Lumberlake: Oh, you fixed it.

Dustan Lumberlake: How? Gumbo?

Viv: Yes, fine,

Viv: we fixed it with gumbo.

Roy: Ha! Yes!

Viv: Anyway, since we fixed it,

Viv: you owe us a favor.

Dustan Lumberlake: I don't see how I owe you a favor because you fixed a problem that you created, but go ahead.

Viv: I'm gonna need you to come back to Dimmsdale.

Dustan Lumberlake: What?

Judy Stoneface: I'm Judy Stoneface.

Judy Stoneface: You've heard of grand closings,

Judy Stoneface: but have you heard of grand reopenings?

Judy Stoneface: Yes? No?

Judy Stoneface: Well, enough nonsense.

Judy Stoneface: Here's Dustan Lumberlake.

Dustan Lumberlake: Hi, Judy.

Judy Stoneface: I have no time for pleasantries.

Judy Stoneface: What are you doing here and why?

Dustan Lumberlake: Okay, I'm dancing,

Dustan Lumberlake: ballroom dancing,

Dustan Lumberlake: because I'm done with ClikClok dancing.

Judy Stoneface: All that standing in one place,

Judy Stoneface: waving your arms around like you're a big deal or something,

Judy Stoneface: it's nonsense.

Ty: It sure is.

Rachel: So be like Dustan Lumberlake

Rachel: and come on down to Fancy Dance Dance Studio,

(Ty claps)

Rachel: where you can learn to dance a real dance.

Rachel: A ballroom dance.

Judy Stoneface: "Come on down"?

Judy Stoneface: I'm right here--oh.

Judy Stoneface: You're talking to the viewers at home that you can't even see.

Judy Stoneface: This is nonsense.

Judy Stoneface: I've been Judy Stoneface.

(Ty comes up to Judy Stoneface and begins to dance with her)

Judy Stoneface: Oh, what? No, stop it.

Judy Stoneface: This is nonsense.

Judy Stoneface: Stop it. All right,

Judy Stoneface: this is kind of nice.

Judy Stoneface: Continue. Continue.

Roy: I think we learned a pretty

valuable lesson today, Viv.

Viv: Yeah, be careful what you wish for.

Roy: Ha, could you imagine?

Viv: Uh, yes, I can.

Viv: We made a wish and it completely backfired.

Roy: Uh, no, we made a wish and we took it to 11.

Roy: Things got a little out of control,

Roy: but we cleaned up our mess and saved the dance studio.

Roy: And remember how cool you looked with that guitar?

Viv: Cha.

Viv: Hey, speaking of wishes,

Viv: I actually wished that Zina had a beautiful singing voice.

Roy: Oh, nice.

Viv: Right in time for her sniffy music video shoot.

Roy: Oh, no!

(Zina's music video for the Sniffing Song plays)

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