The Boss Of Me/Transcript

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The Fairly OddParents! episode transcript
"The Boss Of Me"
Season	7
Episode	111A
Airdate	September 11, 2010
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This article is a transcript of the Fairly OddParents episode "The Boss Of Me" from Season 7, which aired on September 11, 2010.

Transcript

[Fade in on the moon sleeping in the night sky. The sun knocks it away and it becomes morning. Timmy wakes up in bed. Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof are sleeping in their fishbowl]

• Timmy: Awesome news, guys! [the fishbowl falls down] Today's Bring Your Kid to Work Day at my dad's office!
• Cosmo: But, Timmy, you don't have a kid!
• Timmy: Anyway, I get to see my dad's totally cool job, and better yet, I get to miss a day of school!
• Wanda: That's great, sport. Now, what does your dad do, again?
• Timmy: I'm not sure, but I'll let you know at the end of the day. Time to dress for success.

[Wanda makes his clothes and hair look like Mr. Turner's. He winks, and the fairies appear in his shirt pocket as pencils and wink back. Cut to the kitchen]

• Timmy: I bet my dad can't wait to take me to work today. [jumps forward and hits a kid sitting at the table] Huh?
• Mr. Turner: Hi, Timmy! Meet the kid I can't wait to take to work today instead of you! He's a rental! ["Rent a Kid" is on the back of the kid's sweatshirt]
• Timmy: You rented a kid?
• Mr. Turner: Timmy, Timmy, Timmy. Work is a very competitive environment. I've got to put my best foot forward. Not some smelly foot with embarrassingly large teeth.

[Cut to Mr. Turner and the rental kid getting in the car]

• Timmy: [jumps onto the windshield] Dad, you've got to take me! I don't want to go to school! I mean... I've always wanted to learn about the amazing world of... whatever it is you do.

[Mr. Turner makes the windshield wipers wipe Timmy off. The rental kid's phone rings]

• Rental: [checks his phone] It's my manager. He said your check bounced. I'm outta here, moron. [leaves]
• Mr. Turner: Good news, Timmy! You can come!
• Timmy: Awesome!

[Fade to Pencil Nexus]

• Mr. Turner: Welcome to Pencil Nexus, Timmy!
• Timmy: Wow. [inside of the building, there is a field strewn with big pencils]
• Mr. Turner: Our slogan is "Go #2!" [a toilet flushes offscreen] Eeh, pencils, that is. Let's take a ride down the graphite river! [they get in a pencil-shaped boat on the river]
• Singers: ♪ Welcome, all, to Pencil Nexus! ♪
  ♪ It's our love of pencils that connects us! ♪
  ♪ We also have a branch in Texas! ♪
  ♪ If you've got questions, you can text us! ♪ [one of the singers gives Timmy a pencil-shaped cell phone]
• Mr. Turner: Here at Pencil Nexus, our ultimate goal is to find a pencil that lasts forever. [puts Cosmo in a machine that rubs his eraser end against a disc]
• Cosmo: Hey, this is kind of nice.

[Cosmo shouts as the machine spins him around quickly, then shoots into Timmy's hair. Part of his face is gone]

• Cosmo: I'll never be the same.
• Mr. Turner: Can you imagine it, Timmy? Creating a pencil that would never wear out? Whoever did that would be a hero. They'd have their picture on the wall of fame! Ooh, look! It's my boss, Mr. Ed Leadly! [Mr. Leadly looks angry] I'm his favorite employee.
• Mr. Leadly: Palmer! You're on thin ice.
• Mr. Turner: Eeh, it's Turner, sir. And this is my son, Timmy.
• Leadly: Nice to meet you, little girl. Have a pencil pop. [puts a lollipop with a pencil stick in Timmy's mouth] And as for you, Tannenbaum, you'd better start performing. Take a look at your productivity report. [shows Mr. Turner a folder]
• Mr. Turner: Eeh, there's nothing in there.
• Leadly: Bingo! [Mr. Turner falls backward] So step it up, or you're gone.
• Mr. Turner: Yes, sir! [Leadly starts walking away] Can I have a pencil pop too?
• Leadly: No! [Mr. Turner falls over]

[Fade to Mr. Turner's office, which is covered in papers of pencil research]

• Mr. Turner: Timmy! I got to think fast. Mr. Ed Leadly's going to fire me if I don't come up with an earth-shattering pencil-based idea! [Leadly looks into the room, holds up a pencil, and crushes off the top]
• Timmy: Uh, what have you come up with so far?
• Mr. Turner: Well, there's my pogo pencil. [bounces with the pogo pencil, then crashes and screams] Sadly, it's only good for making periods. But I do have this: my invisible pencil! [the pencil falls from his fingers] Gah! I dropped it! It's gone! Just like my career! [cries] Timmy! What am I going to do? Pencils are my life. [he holds up a photo of him and Mrs. Turner with a big pencil with Timmy in the background] If you need me, I'll be curled up on the men's room floor crying like a little jobless baby who lost his invisible pencil!

[Mr. Turner runs out of the room dressed like a baby and cries as he runs into the women's restroom. Women scream and he runs into the men's restroom. The fairies turn back to normal]

• Cosmo: Ha! You don't scare me, Mr. Pencil Sharpener! Now that I'm a fairy again, I'm indestructible!

[Cosmo kicks up the electric sharpener. It falls on him and shreds him up]

• Timmy: Hey, that gives me an idea. I wish for a perfect, indestructible pencil that would last forever.

[Cosmo and Wanda grant the wish. The singing of a choir is heard as the indestructible pencil floats in the air. Timmy grabs the pencil]

• Timmy: Now all I have to do is give my dad the credit for inventing this, and he'll get to keep his job. [the fairies turn back into pencils]
• Mr. Turner: [hitting the door] Timmy! [the door falls over] I heard a choir of angels. Did something good happen?
• Timmy: It sure did, Dad. While you were gone, I invented this! [tosses him the pencil] A pencil that lasts forever.
• Mr. Turner: Oh, you did? [walks to his desk; sharpening the pencil] It'll wear down. [blows on the pencil] Eventually they all do.

[Mr. Turner writes with the pencil until a day has passed and he has a full beard]

• Mr. Turner: I don't believe my eyes! This pencil hasn't worn down at all. It's indestructible! I'm going to call it the Everleady!
• Timmy: Why don't you show it to your boss?
• Mr. Turner: Great idea! Once he sees this perfect pencil, he'll promote me to the head office in Pennsylvania!
• Timmy: But first you may want to put on some pants.

[Fade to Leadly's office. Mr. Turner and Timmy enter by elevator]

• Leadly: What is it, Takamoto?
• Mr. Turner: It's Turner, sir. I mean, Your Majesty. I mean, Your Bossiness. I bring you... this.

[Mr. Turner holds up the pencil. A choir sings]

• Timmy: It's a pencil that never wears down.
• Mr. Turner: I call it the Everleady!
• Leadly: Why, if you're right, Pencil Nexus would become the most successful pencil company in history! I have to see this to believe it.

[Leadly starts writing with the pencil. Mr. Turner and Timmy wink at each other. A day passes. Leadly and Mr. Turner have beards that fill the screen]

• Leadly: It works! How on Earth did you come up with this?
• Mr. Turner: Well, actually, my son invented it while I was weeping on the bathroom floor. But I named it! The naming part was mine!
• Leadly: [to Timmy] Turner, you're hired.
• Timmy: I am? But I have school tomorrow. I mean, when do I start?

[Fade to Timmy and Leadly in a factory. Timmy pulls a lever on Wanda, a machine, that makes pencils come out of her and go down a conveyor belt. The pencils are stamped "Everleady" and land in a box. Trucks labeled "Everleady" drive out of Pencil Nexus and Everleady pencils are put on shelves. Cut to Chet Ubetcha standing outside a store]

• Chet Ubetcha: This is Chet Ubetcha reporting. Customers are lined up around the block to get their hands on the greatest pencil phenomenon ever: the Everleady! [the store opens and people stampede over him on their way in] And since Everleadys last forever, people only need one! Which means there's no need to chop down trees to make pencils.

[A lumberjack tosses away his axe and walks away from a tree. Bears smile]

• Chet: In related news, a dense forest has quickly sprung up in Dimmsdale. In unrelated news, I'm being mauled by a raccoon! [screams as the raccoon attacks him]

[Cut to Timmy and Leadly in a pencil-shaped golf cart]

• Leadly: Congratulations, Turner. Your picture's on the wall of fame.

[In the picture, Mr. Turner is in the background. Leadly drives off]

• Mr. Turner: [bouncing toward Timmy and Leadly with the pogo pencil] Wait for me!

[The doors of the elevator Timmy and Leadly are in close, and Mr. Turner hits them. Timmy and Leadly go to the top floor of Pencil Nexus]

• Leadly: Welcome to your new office, Turner.
• Timmy: [looking out a window] Wow!
• Leadly: As we say in the pencil business, you're my number two. [a toilet flushes offscreen]
• Timmy: Can we call me something else? [sits in his chair and swivels around]
• Leadly: You're vice president. You know what that means?
• Timmy: I get to totally goof around all day and use the company jet to go to the mall?
• Leadly: No, that's my job. [presses a button that makes the jet show up outside] Your job is to fire the slackers... [Mr. Turner appears on a security monitor] starting with Timberlake.
• Timmy: But that's my dad. And his name's Turner.
• Leadly: Fine. Turner, fire Turner. [leaves]
• Wanda: Sport, you're not really going to fire your dad, are you? You know how much he loves his job.
• Timmy: You heard Mr. Leadly. I don't have a choice! [into an intercom] Dad, can you step into my office?
• Cosmo: Timmy, you can't toss your dad out on the streets! They're crawling with bears!

[Bears in the forest growl. The fairies disappear as Mr. Turner arrives in the elevator]

• Mr. Turner: You wanted to see me, son? I mean, Mr. Son?
• Timmy: That's right, Timberlake. I mean, Dad. I'm afraid I'm going to have to let you go.
• Mr. Turner: Eeh, go where? To Pennsylvania? Yes! A promotion!
• Timmy: What? I didn't say...!
• Mr. Turner: All my dreams are finally coming true!
• Timmy: No, Dad!
• Mr. Turner: [on the phone] That's right, honey! Order the yacht!
• Timmy: Dad, no, you're not getting a promotion! You're being fired!
• Mr. Turner: Ohhhhh. Well... okay, I guess. Don't worry, I'll be fine. [going back into the elevator] See you at home, dream-crusher! I mean... Timmy! [chuckles and starts crying as the elevator descends] I'm a little jobless baby! And I lost my invisible pencil!
• Timmy: That was terrible. I hope I never have to fire anyone again.
• Leadly: [on a screen] Turner, you've got to fire everyone. Because of the Everleady, people only need one pencil for their whole lives, so sales have plummeted. We're closing down production.

[Cut to a group of people leaving the building]

• Ex-Employees: [crying] We're all little jobless babies! [the fairies appear in Timmy's office] We hate Timmy!
• Timmy: I've got to fix this somehow. I wish all the Everleady pencils were destroyed.
• Wanda: We can't destroy them, sport. You wished for them to be indestructible.
• Cosmo: And awesome too! Because they last forever, [pretending to write with a pencil] you just want to write and write and write... until it gives you great big muscles! [his arm breaks off]
• Timmy: Wait a minute. What if it really did happen?

[Timmy whispers to Wanda, who then uses her wand. Cut to Tootie repeatedly writing "I love you Timmy". Her arm suddenly becomes big and muscular, and she looks at it and topples. Cut to Dinkleberg writing. His arm becomes huge and muscular. Chompy and two other writing people grow muscular arms and scream. Cut to Timmy's office]

• Leadly: Turner, we've got trouble. All the people who bought your stupid pencils are writing up lawsuits and death threats against me. Ordinarily I'd ignore them, but they're pounding down the doors with their giant, misshapen arms and writing some very nasty things on the company walls. In order to stave off a lawsuit, I've agreed to replace everyone's Everleadys with regular old #2 pencils. So, we've got to ramp up production and fast. Hire everybody back, including your idiot father, Tarentino.

[Timmy grins. Cut to someone putting a sticker reading "recall" on a Everleady store display. Everleadys are taken off a shelf and Everleady trucks drive into Pencil Nexus. People take broken pencils out of a trash can. Lumberjacks cut down trees and put one in a machine that makes a pencil from it. More trees are felled, and Timmy stands on a stump and winks at the fairies, who wink back. Fade to Mr. Turner's office]

• Timmy: [knocks on the door and opens it] You wanted to see me, Dad?
• Mr. Turner: Eeh, that's right, Turner. Your horrible invention nearly cost Mr. Ed Leadly his entire company, so I'm afraid I'm going to have to let you go.
• Timmy: Go where? Pennsylvania?
• Mr. Turner: [chuckles] No. The unemployment line, because you're fired! You! Are! F-f-f-fired! [Timmy raises his eyebrows; on the phone] That's right, honey, I'm sending him home right now! [giving Timmy a pencil pop] Help yourself to a pencil pop on the way out.
• Timmy: Thanks, Dad. Oh, by the way, I found your invisible pencil. [offers it to him]
• Mr. Turner: Yippee! [takes the pencil] This pencil's my ticket to the wall of fame!

[Cut to Timmy walking out of Pencil Nexus]

• Timmy: Thanks, guys. My dad got his job back, and everything's normal again.
• Mr. Turner: [offscreen] Gah! I dropped it again! Curse you, invisible pencil!
• Timmy: Well, almost everything.

[Iris out on Timmy's face. The end title card is shown]

• Mr. Turner: [in voice-over] Pencils! [fade to black]

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