Teacher's Pal/Transcript

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The Fairly OddParents: A New Wish episode transcript
"Teacher's Pal"
Season	1
Episode	3
Airdate	May 22, 2024
Transcript List

This article is a transcript of the Fairly OddParents: A New Wish episode "Teacher's Pal" from Season 1, which aired on May 22, 2024.

Transcript

[upbeat music]

♪

[school bell ringing]

[children shouting]

Football!

[groans]

[crunching]

Why aren't we going in?

Does she not know

how the door works?

Hazel, you have

to push it harder!

I can't go in there.

I don't have anyone

to sit with.

I know being the new kid

can be daunting,

but you aren't going to make

any friends out here.

You gotta get in there, champ!

- Yeah!

You know all there is to know

about mushrooms and anime,

and you have great puns!

Yeah, I do.

I'm "pun-defeated"!

[bell rings]

[laughs]

Whoop!

Please be careful

with Board-tholemew.

Whoa!

both: Safety first!

[frantic music]

We're here to help!

- Right.

- Left.

[yelps]

[groaning]

all: Go, new kid!

Do the Dimmy Shimmy!

Go, new kid!

Do the Dimmy Shimmy!

Go, new kid!

Do the Dimmy Shimmy!

Hey, new kid,

why aren't you dancing?

I'm not the new kid.

I'm Hazel.

Hey, Hazel,

do the Dimmy Shimmy.

all: Hey, Hazel,

do the Dimmy Shimmy.

Hey, Hazel,

do the Dimmy Shimmy.

Oof!

Can't lose the test sheets

for the big test this week.

If all the students don't pass,

Principal Krentz will

make everyone

repeat the school year.

You OK, Hazel?

Why aren't you in the cafeteria

with the other students?

I don't know how to do

the Dimmy Shimmy.

Well, you're in good company.

I don't know how to do

the Dimmy Shimmy either.

But I can do

a mean Cabbage Patch.

[yacht rock music]

[laughing] There you go.

You and I have

that old-school swagger.

Don't worry about

not being up on trends.

You'll find

your right crowd soon.

Those were

some nice moves, Hazel.

Why didn't you cut a rug

like that in the cafeteria?

I don't know.

I froze up

around the other kids.

But talking

to Mr. Guzman is easy.

Maybe that's it.

- What's it?

I haven't made friends

with the other students yet

because I'm mature for my age.

What would I even talk

to them about, lunch trays?

That's kiddie stuff.

[chuckles]

Yeah, Mr. Guzman said

I'd find the right crowd soon.

But maybe I already have.

I wish I could be friends

with my teachers.

We're going to need

some magic math for this one.

Carry the wand.

Divide by the poof.

both: Algebra-ca-dalgebra!

As you know, standardized

testing is this Friday.

We've had the highest numbers

in the district

nine years running.

And if we get it again

this year,

I get

a commemorative paperweight.

This is a must, as my current

paperweight is awful.

[ship horn blares]

Hence, I need you pushing your

students full tilt this week.

That means no shenanigans.

[door creaks]

- Hazel!

- Hazelroni and Cheese!

Hay Day!

Sit next to me.

What is going on?

Hazel can sit

wherever she wants,

and she obviously wants

to sit next to me.

[chuckles] There's no need

to fight, y'all.

There's enough of me

to go around.

That's enough!

What did I just say

about shenanigans?

You need to find your way

back to the cafeteria, Hazel.

The Teacher's Lounge is

no place for a child.

Looks like the wish

didn't affect Krentz

because she's not a teacher.

She's a principal.

You want us to update the wish

so you can be friends

with her too?

[big cat growling]

Blegh, hard pass.

I have a better idea.

Aww, man, I sure wish

this were a place for a child.

Lighting shenanigans!

[upbeat music]

♪

[horse neighing]

Hmm, looks pretty

kid-friendly in here to me.

But--but it didn't look

like this a moment ago.

What are you talking about?

It looked like this

when we came in.

Besides,

it's, like, not even fair

for you to make us test prep

during our lunch.

Isn't that, like,

against the law or something?

Fine!

Have your

"mandatory lunch break."

But after lunch,

you better get back

to preparing for that test.

If your students don't pass,

they'll repeat the school year.

And that includes you, Hazel.

Who, me?

[laughter]

Whoo-hoo!

Hey-hey!

♪

This is the best

class break ever!

Ooh, speaking of which,

we should head back to class.

Sike! Sneak attack!

Whoa!

- Hiyah!

- Incoming!

Take that! Whoo-hoo!

[bell rings]

Yippee!

[both cheering]

But wasn't that the bell?

The other students

won't even notice we're gone.

[clock ticking]

So are we allowed to leave?

The big test is coming up.

We gotta study.

[dramatic musical flourish]

[laughter]

both: Ms. Mary Mack,

Mack, Mack ♪

That's me!

Bye, Hazel!

Catch you later, Hazy Daze!

[clattering]

[cat yowls]

I'm OK!

That was awesome!

They love you.

I knew I'd fit

right in with the teachers.

I wish every day could be

as fun as today was.

Ooh, I feel

a montage coming on!

[laughter]

Whoo-hoo!

[both cheering]

[horse neighs]

[upbeat music]

Ugh.

[whimpering]

Ooh, that one looks like

it's got some heft to it.

Mm, heavy.

[gasps]

Curse you!

This is your doing.

[whimpering]

[sighs]

[grunts]

Get to class!

Oh, I'm actually headed

to the teachers' lounge.

No, you're "actually"

headed to class.

With me. Now.

The square root of 36

is a triangle, right?

No,

it's the Pythagorean Theorem.

I think you're both right.

I hope you're all very

stressed about today's test.

If you don't pass, then I don't

get my new paperweight.

And if I don't get

my new paperweight,

you'll all repeat

this school year!

Over a paperweight?

Ahh! Hey! Ahh!

[grunting]

Yes.

If you need me,

I'll be going

from class to class

giving the same announcement.

I suppose I could use

the intercom,

but then I wouldn't be able

to see the looks of distress

on your tiny faces,

which is the best part

of my job.

The test is today?

But I'm not ready!

No one's ever ready.

OK, deep breath.

Mr. Guzman had the test sheets

the other day

outside of the cafeteria.

He'll know where they are.

Just gotta remind the teachers

that today is test day.

You've been paying attention

every other week, right?

You could still pass.

It's all going to be OK!

Are you still talking to me?

No!

I'm, like, hyping myself up.

Oh.

OK.

You guys, today is the--

[air horn blares]

[party music]

Hazel!

[chuckles]

Surprise!

Happy four-day

friend-iversary!

What are you doing?

We have testing today!

Testing, shmesting!

You sound like

that party-pooping

stinky head Krentz!

But if I don't pass,

then I have to retake

fifth grade!

Yay!

We can hang out

for a whole nother year!

What are you--no!

Where are the test sheets?

all: Do the Dimmy Shimmy,

do the Dimmy Shimmy ♪

Do the Dimmy Shimmy,

do the Dimmy Shimmy ♪

Do the Dimmy Shimmy,

do the Dimmy Shimmy ♪

[growls]

Oh, no!

Those are the test sheets!

[screams]

[horse whinnies]

[all crying]

[grunts]

[screams]

What's going on

with the teachers?

Why are they acting like that?

Well, we had

to decrease their maturity

in the magic math to make them

compatible friends for you.

It looks like we forgot

to set a minimum maturity

on the equation.

What?

The equation has a series

of complex fairy-ables.

So ever since

I made this wish,

my teachers have been getting

less and less mature?

Yeah, so Mr. Guzman

now has the maturity

of a fourth grader,

Mrs. Mack is in third grade,

and Mrs. Velasquez is in pre-K.

Well, she must have been

pretty immature to start with.

[goat bleats]

But why did you have to make

them less mature at all?

The whole point was that

I'm mature for my age.

You are mature

for your age, squirt.

But you're not as mature

as a full-grown adult.

What would you and your

teachers even talk about?

Traffic? Licking stamps?

Lunch trays?

Ugh. I guess not.

But if you had to make

the teachers less mature,

that means I could have

just been friends

with the other students

in the first place?

That would have been

easier, yes.

A lot less math

involved in that.

Oh.

I wish the teachers were

back to normal.

both: Done and done!

Great news!

Even though I don't remember

doing any practice tests

with you and all your tests

were covered in horse spit,

you all passed.

[air horn blaring]

[all cheering]

[horse whinnies]

Yay. That was really great.

[sighs]

[upbeat music]

Right back where we started.

Ooh, I have an idea.

You can wish that you had

friends your own age.

Or she can just walk in there

and introduce herself.

Uh, I think today,

I'll just focus

on eating lunch

in the cafeteria

around the other kids.

I can work up

to introducing myself.

Sounds good to us.

[children chattering]

Hi there.

I saw you doing all that

cool stuff with the teachers.

What did you bring for lunch?

My grandmother packed me

com gà roti.

I like your sweater.

What's your name?

I'm Jasmine.

We're in the same class.

What's your book about?

My name is Hazel, and my book

is about mushrooms.

Do you know why mushrooms

have so many friends?

- What?

- Because they're such fun-gis!

[both laugh]

And you're my best friend,

new paperweight.

[laughs]

[dramatic musical flourish]

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