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This article is a transcript of the Fairly OddParents episode "Talkin' Trash" from Season 5, which aired on May 13, 2005.
Script[]
Mr. Turner: There's only one thing to do at a time like this.
Timmy: What's going on? why didn't your magic work?
Wanda: You see, magical garbage is sort of tricky, Timmy.
Cosmo: Ooh! oh! you know who should be here? Big daddy.
Wanda: No, no, no! Not My Big daddy. He can be sort of hard to get along with.
Timmy: Big Daddy?
Cosmo: Yep. Big Daddy, Wanda's father. He knows all about magical garbage. He's got the trash-collection contracts for all of fairy world.
Timmy: That's perfect. Then I wish Wanda's father was here right now.
Cosmo: You got it.
Wanda: Cosmo! No!
Big Daddy: I'm funny to you? funny how, like a clown? Am I wearing big shoes, a funny hat?
Binky: Yes! I'm so sorry, Big Daddy. I just forgot, that's all. I'll pay.
Big Daddy: Hey, this isn't the riverfront, and you ain't Carmine and Pero.
Wanda: Big daddy!
Big Daddy: Sugar plum!
Timmy: Mr. big daddy, I'm Timmy Turner.
Big Daddy: And I'm big daddy. here's my card.
Timmy: [Reading aloud]
Big Daddy: What's so important you drag me here from my very violent-- I mean, important business meeting?
Mr. Turner: What is this show rated?
Timmy: That stinky magic, and I need your sanitation expertise to clean this up. So get to it garbage boy, chop-chop. If you need me, I'll be in my room playing video games.
Big Daddy: Hey! Nobody tells big daddy how to do his job.
Cosmo: Timmy. You don't talk to Big Daddy like that. People who aggravate big daddy have a habit of disappearing, like Amelia Earhart or Hootie & the Blowfish.
Big Daddy: Do I look like a servant to you?
Timmy: Actually, yes.
Big Daddy: Wrong answer.
Wanda: Big daddy! no! This is my godchild Timmy.
Big Daddy: The one you told me about? This is "listen to you all the time," Mr. good boy, Mr. perfect teeth?
Wanda: Sort of.
Big Daddy: What's next? I suppose for laughs, you're gonna tell me you married this guy.
Cosmo: Ha-ha. Funny story. Um-
Timmy: Man egg! It's bad for my psyche, but good for my hair.
Big Daddy: Ok, that's it. Come on, lamb pop. We're out of here.
Timmy: Cosmo, Wanda won't stand up to her father. It's up to you.
Cosmo: Then it's been a pleasure working with you. Say hello to hootie for me.
Jorgen: No. it is up to me. Nobody move.
Timmy: Jorgen von strangle! Boy, am I glad to see you.
Jorgen: Big daddy, you have no authority to take Wanda away from Timmy. That is my job.
Big Daddy: You know what else could be your job, flattop? Shoveling your way out of our house past mountains of trash.
Jorgen: Uh, wait. you didn't let me finish. You have no authority to take Wanda away, but i'm here here deputize you. Bye. say hello to hootie for me.
Big Daddy: Move it.
Timmy: Mom! dad!
Mr. Turner: Aah! we're being sucked down into the basement.
Mrs. Turner: But we don't have a basement.
Mr. Turner: We do now. It's the perfect place to store my man eggs.
Timmy: I don't have time to listen to this.
Big Daddy: Hey! Nobody touches big daddy. People who touch big daddy-
Timmy: Disappear. I know. I heard. You don't want to help me save my parents, fine. I'll do it myself. Bathroom? The stinky magic must be rearranging the whole house now.
Timmy: It's time to take out the trash.
Mr. Turner: Hey, my favorite shirt. You told me it was stolen by Canadians.
Timmy: This might be bad.
Mr. and Mrs Turner: Hi Timmy!
Timmy: Huh? What?
Big Daddy: I told you before, kid. Nobody tells big daddy how to do his job.
Big Daddy: Because nobody does his job better than big daddy.
Timmy: How did you do all that?
Big Daddy: I know things. The garbage is all gone. Your mom and dad, they'll just think they had a bad dream.
Mrs. Turner: Horrible, painful basement.
Mr. Turner: Uh! it's my shirt. Get away, you Canadians. Get away!
Wanda: Oh, big daddy, thank you so much for saving Timmy's parents.
Big Daddy: Hey, he loves his family so much, he stood up to me. I wouldn't let it happen again, but I respect it, kid. You got moxie.
Cosmo: Well, as long as we're standing up to Big Daddy, it's time to discuss taking over the family business. For starters, I think that I-
Big Daddy: A certain someone should be quiet before a certain someone ends up sleeping with the fishes.
Cosmo: Oh! is it me? I love scuba diving.
Timmy: Thanks for helping me save my family.
Big Daddy: All right, but don't tell nobody. Now I got to go. It's Binky's turn to buy lunch. Bye, butter dimple.
Wanda: Bye, big daddy.
Cosmo: Bye, big daddy-in-law. Hey, I think he likes me. Oop! or not. I'm sleeping with the fishes.