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Episode
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Transcripts

This article is a transcript of the Fairly OddParents episode "Take and Fake" from Season 7, which aired on February 6, 2010.


Script[]

[Fade in on the Turners' house in the morning. Wanda and Poof fly onto the mailbox as birds]

Wanda: [to Timmy] Good morning, sport! Uh, why are you sleeping by the mailbox?
Cosmo: [offscreen] Because the fire hydrant snores! [he is the fire hydrant. A dog sniffs him] No, doggie. No. Not now. Shoo! [shoots water at the dog]
Timmy: Tonight is Trixie Tang's annual costume party. I'm just waiting for the mailman to bring my invitation.
Cosmo: You mean you haven't gotten yours yet? We got ours.
Timmy: Wait, you guys got invited to Trixie's party? She doesn't even know you exist!
Cosmo: We could say the same thing about you!
Wanda: Don't worry, Timmy. I'm sure your invitation is coming.
Timmy: It better. Trixie's parties are always awesome. So I hear. And the winner of the costume contest gets Trixie's attention and bragging rights for a whole year! [a truck stops and honks offscreen] Ooh, here comes the mailman now!
Milkman: Sorry, kid. I'm just the milkman.
Timmy: Aw.
Mailman: Fooled ya! I'm actually the mailman in my milkman costume for Trixie's big party tonight. [chuckles] But I still don't have an invitation for ya.
Timmy: Can I at least have the milk?
Milk Costume Guy: Actually, I'm not going to the party. I just like dressing up as milk. [he and the mailman laugh]

[Fade to Timmy's room]

Wanda: [in fairy form] Don't worry, Timmy. I bet Trixie didn't invite a lotta people to her party.
Mr. Turner: [knocks on the door offscreen] Oh, Timmy! [the fairies turn into goldfish. He opens the door, revealing that he is costumed as Mrs. Turner] Like everyone else in town, we got invited to Trixie's costume party! I'm going as a beautiful woman!
Mrs. Turner: [costumed as Mr. Turner] So am I! [she and Mr. Turner laugh and leave. The fairies turn back to normal]
Timmy: I can't believe even my parents are going. Why wasn't I invited?
Cosmo: I don't know, Timmy. You're a great guy. Check out this chart of your awesome attributes!
Timmy: It's blank. [beat]
Cosmo: Yeah, that could be the problem.
Timmy: Hey, wait! I don't need an invitation. You guys can just poof me up the coolest costume so I can sneak in, win the contest, and get Trixie to finally notice me!
Wanda: Sorry, sport. You know our magic can't help you win a contest. But don't let that get you down in the dumps.
Timmy: Down in the dumps? That's a great idea!

[Fade to the Dimmsdale Dimmadump]

Timmy: I may not be able to use fairy magic, but that doesn't mean I can't use Yugopotamian technology.

[Cut to inside Mark Chang's spaceship]

Timmy: You got invited to Trixie's party?
Mark Chang: Duh! And my new port-able 80-gig iFake will help me choose the costume that is most ap-pro-pry-ate for tonight's so-ree-or-ray. [uses the iFake to turn into an elephant, a broom, and a muscular human, then turns back to normal] Plus, it stores all my tuneage. [makes the iFake play music and chuckles; dancing] Ooh, ooh, ooh ooh... [spins around, hitting Timmy with his tentacles]
Timmy: You know, Mark, this party's the perfect opportunity for you to ditch the iFake and go as yourself. I mean, your Yugopotamian form will be the perfect costume.
Mark: Mark Chang in the buff? In the raw? Au natural? Braaah! [giving Timmy the iFake] That is geni-us! You're welcome to hang out here while I'm at the partay. Just mess the place up when you leave. Laters! [jumps out of the ship]
Timmy: Oh, I'm not hanging out here. It's time for my costume. One where I'm the perfect guy for Trixie. [uses the iFake to turn into a tall, square-jawed prince] Awesome! I'm a prince! [his smile rejuvenates a withered plant] Time to party like it's 1599! [whistles. A horse comes and he mounts it] Look out, Trixie. Here comes Rex Perfection! [rides out of the ship]

[Fade to the Tangs' mansion at night]

Wanda: [entering the mansion with Cosmo and Poof] I love costume parties. It's the one time we can go out as ourselves without anyone knowing we're really...
Mr. Crocker: [dressed as a fairy suspended from the ceiling] Fairies! [beat] Seriously, nice fairy costumes. But I can totally see the wires making you float. [tugging on Cosmo's wing] And those wings don't look very real either. Wow. Did you have these surgically implanted? Now, that's commitment.

[Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Turner walking in the mansion]

Mrs. Turner: This should be a great evening.
Mr. Turner: No Timmy and free shrimp? It'll be awesome!
Mrs. Turner: [to Trixie, who is dressed as a princess] Hey, that's a great costume. You look just like a bratty, stuck-up, snotty little rich girl. [Trixie stares]

[Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Turner being carried away by men in suits]

Mrs. Turner: Nooooo!
Mr. Turner: No! No! I haven't tried the shrimp yet! [he and his wife are kicked out of the mansion and into a water fountain]
Fountain Guy: Great. Now my fountain costume is wet.

[Cut to inside the mansion]

Trixie: Thanks for coming, everyone. Now have fun while I mingle politely and criticize everyone's costumes. [walking past costumed people] Lame. Boring. Boring. Lame. [a truck head turns into a Transformer-like robot] So last year. [sighs] Come on, people. Where's the costume that's going to wow me? [a light shines on Timmy. Trixie smiles. People are awed, including Crocker. Timmy's smile turns someone's withered plant costume into a flowering cactus] Wow! As we snooty rich girls say, he's new-boyfriend handsome. [floats to Timmy]
Timmy: Greetings, fair maiden. My name's Rex Perfection. But you can call me Rex Perfection.
Trixie: My, you're so perfect. I'd like to hold your perfect hand while you lead me to the dance floor, Rex Perfection.
Timmy: [leading Trixie by the hand] This is awesome! I'm at the party, there's free shrimp, and I'm holding hands with Trixie. Nothing's going to ruin this night. [walks into someone. The iFake's setting changes to "shuffle" and he turns into a giant ape]
Trixie: Rex, your hand is so... hairy? [screams] Back off, costumed monkey boy! I'm with Rex Perfection! Where are you, Rex? [zips away. Timmy turns back into Rex]
Timmy: Whoa, what happened? I think the iFake is broken. I better find Mark.

[Cut to Mr. Turner looking though a window at a bowl of shrimp on a table]

Mr. Turner: So shrimpy. [reaches for a shrimp] So free!
Shrimp Table Guy: So outta here. [punches Mr. Turner away. Timmy briefly turns into a dog as he runs past the fairies]
Crocker: So, fake fairies, I bet you think your costumes are sooo great. Well, check this out! My wand can do magic! [he hits Cosmo with a fake wand and confetti bursts out of it]
Wanda: [flatly] Ooh. Wow. That's really cool.
Cosmo: Yeah. All our wands can do is this. [poofs up scissors that cut the rope suspending Crocker. Crocker falls offscreen and mousetraps snap shut]
Crocker: Ah! Ooh! Gah! Who comes dressed as a pile of mousetraps?! Seriously!
Timmy: [looking at a green tentacle coming from under a curtain] There's Mark! Mark! I need your help! [pulls on the tentacle, tearing off part of the squid costume it is part of. He puts the part back on Chet Ubetcha]
Chet Ubetcha: [looks at Timmy] As they say in my business, that kid's weatherman handsome!
Trixie: There you are, Rex Perfection. Why don't we go out on the balcony so I can get to know you better and stare at your beauty in the flattering light of my beauty? [drags Timmy away]

[Cut to the balcony. Two people, costumed as the moon and as a birdbath, hold hands and leave. Timmy and Trixie come. Timmy turns into a monster with multiple eyes and mouths, and Trixie sees him and screams]

Trixie: [hitting Timmy with a staff] Help me, Rex Perfection! [runs away and screams. Timmy turns back into Rex]
Timmy: Trixie, wait! Come back! [sees a green hose wrapped around the railing] Mark Chang! [unties the hose] Not Mark Chang. [drops the hose]

[Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Turner using the hose to climb up a wall]

Mr. Turner: I can smell the shrimp, and the freeness, from here! [sees the end of the hose fall past him] Eeh, that can't be good. [he and his wife fall to the ground]

[Cut to a disco ball in the mansion. Mr. Bickles is inside of it]

Mr. Bickles: Ah, livin' the dream!
Crocker: Hello again, fake fairies! Ready for round two? Beware my magical... fairy lightning bolts! [throws fake lightning bolts at Cosmo and Wanda] Magically painful, aren't they?
Cosmo: Ooh! I think I can top that! [makes a thundercloud shock Crocker, who turns to ash]
Crocker: [sees Timmy run by] Boy, that kid's perfect. As we say in my business, he's gym-teacher handsome!
Timmy: I need Mark to fix this iFake before I blow my chance with... Trixie!
Trixie: Rex! There you are! Dance with me! [takes him under the disco ball]
Timmy: Oh, I'm not a good dancer. [a spotlight shines on him and Trixie and they dance] But Rex Perfection is. [spins Trixie and dances with her. Crocker runs and is shocked by the cloud. Timmy spins Trixie away from him] Being Rex is awesome! [turns into a cactus. Trixie starts spinning toward him and he turns into Rex in time to catch her. He spins her away, briefly turns into a chainsaw, and catches her again]
Trixie: Oh, Rex. I never felt more safe than when I'm with you. Don't tell anyone, but I'm picking you as the winner of the contest. Now kiss me! [puckers up. Timmy turns into a copy of Mark and she kisses him] Ew! Get away, ugly loser! [hits Timmy with the staff] You're Mr. Crocker hideous!
Crocker: I heard that! [the cloud shocks him]
Trixie: Okay, everyone, it's time to announce the winner of the costume contest.
Mark: [to a group of young women] And then I said, "The aristocrats!" [he and the women laugh. Timmy bumps into him] Awesome costu-may, dude! As we say on my plan-et, you're Mark Chang handsome! [beat] Wait a minute.
Timmy: Mark, it's me, Timmy. I, uh, borrowed your iFake so I could come to the party as the perfect guy for Trixie.
Trixie: And the winner of the costume contest is... Rex Perfection. [people cheer]
Crocker: Where are you, Rex Perfection?
Timmy: And it worked! Mark, you gotta help turn me back!
Mark: And leave my harem? Are you nuts? [the women reveal themselves to be middle-aged men] Perhaps I could spare a moment or two. Totally bogus, brah. You stole my iFake?
Timmy: I believe I used the term borrowed. And I'm sorry. But there's something wrong with it.
Trixie: Is Rex here? Come on, Rex! My lips are waiting!
Timmy: Mark! Her lips are waiting!
Mark: Duh. You have it set on shuffle.
Timmy: [as Mark takes the iFake] No, wait! [turns into Rex. People cheer, then he turns back to normal]
Crowd: Boo! [Timmy turns into Rex and the crowd cheers, then he turns back to normal] Boo!
Wanda: Timmy?
Trixie: Timmy?
Crowd: [throwing food at Timmy] Boo! Boo! Boo!
Mr. Turner: Eeh! They're throwing shrimp, Timmy! Hide in my mouth! [Timmy runs away]
Trixie: I don't understand. Where is Rex Perfection?
Chet and Crocker: Where are you, Rex Perfection? [Timmy sadly walks outside]
Wanda: You okay, sport?
Timmy: I was having such a great night as Rex Perfection. Now that I'm back to being me, Trixie'll never talk to me again. [eats part of a shrimp in his hair]
Trixie: There you are, Timmy Turner.
Timmy: Trixie, you're actually talking to me? I'm sorry I crashed your party.
Trixie: What are you talking about? I sent you an invitation.
Cosmo: No, you didn't. [holding a letter] You sent one to us.
Wanda: Cosmo, that's not addressed to us. It's addressed to Timmy. You made a mistake.
Cosmo: I think the real mistake was asking the guy who can't read to get the mail.
Timmy: [to Trixie] So you really wanted me at your party?
Trixie: Of course I did. You're dreamy! [unzips herself, revealing that she was Tootie in costume]
Tootie: Now pucker up, lover boy! [puckers up]
Timmy: Uh, guys, a little help? [the fairies make the ground below Tootie launch her away]
Tootie: [screams] I don't care what my therapist says! I will always love you, Timmy Turner! [crashes into trash cans offscreen]
Trixie: Wow. Those fairy costumes are amazing. You three win first prize.
Wanda: Yay!
Cosmo: Yay! [Wanda takes a trophy filled with shrimp from Trixie]
Poof: Poof poof!
Cosmo: Look! It's full of shrimp! [dumps the shrimp into his mouth and starts chewing it]
Mr. and Mrs. Turner: Nooooo!
Timmy: Trixie, any chance you really are happy I came to your party? [she pulls a lever that makes the ground below him launch him away, and he screams] I don't care what my therapist says! I will always love you, Trixie Tang! [crashes into trash cans offscreen]
Tootie: [offscreen] Hi, Timmy! [starts making kissing sounds]
Timmy: [offscreen] Nooooo!

[Iris out. The end title card is shown]

Mr. Turner: [in voice-over] Shrimp!

[Fade to black]


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