[Timmy and Cosmo, wearing diving suits, descend into water in a shark-proof cage]
Timmy: It's quiet. Too quiet.
Cosmo: And it's wet. Too wet. [Timmy and Cosmo notice a shark behind them and scream. The shark bites the top of the cage off, and the two scream. They swim away from the shark as it tries to eat them. Timmy fires a plunger at it]
Cosmo: Hey! Nice shootin', Tex! [Wanda, the shark, changes to fairy form]
Wanda: I'll say!
Mr. Turner: [knocking offscreen] Timmy! [truck out to reveal that Timmy and the fairies are in the fishbowl. Mr. Turner peeks into the room] Oh, son of mine?
Timmy: Oh, no, it's Dad!
Mr. Turner: Where is that boy? [the fairies turn into goldfish, and Timmy hides behind the fishbowl castle] I wanna give him a gift for no reason whatsoever! [leaving] Well, too bad. I'll just give it to the neighbor kid.
Timmy: Huh? Did he say... "gift"?
Wanda: That's what I heard!
Timmy: Emergency anti-wish maneuver 74! Now! [the fairies raise their wands and he appears outside the bowl. He runs into the garage] Hello gift my gift wonderful gift dad. [beat] Gift.
Mr. Turner: Timmy! Do you know what weekend this is?
Timmy: Yeah! The Annual Dimmsdale Father–Son Bike Race!
Mr. Turner: Right! And I have a surprise for you! [a veiled bicycle is beside him]
Timmy: Oh, boy! Is it a bike?
Mr. Turner: Who told you?! [beat] It's not just a bike. It's a bike I made! [he unveils the bike and Timmy becomes shocked. The bike is crudely made: It has patched tires and a bag of manure for a seat]
Timmy: [weakly] You shouldn't have.
Mr. Turner: Aw, but I did anyway! Check out the wooden frame, hmm? It's lighter and more flammable than titanium.
Timmy: Are these handlebars made from rusty pipe?
Mr. Turner: [putting his hands on the bars] You bet they are! [one of the bars breaks off and he looks at it] And check out those pedals! [the pedals are slippers] Fuzzy toe loops for extra power and comfort. Well, whaddaya think?
Timmy: Well, uh...
Mr. Turner: Take your time on your undying gratitude, I can wait. [beat] Okay. Any time now.
Mrs. Turner: [offscreen] Ah! Someone replaced my slippers with bike pedals!
Mr. Turner: Ha ha. Gotta go. [giving Timmy a dollar bill] If your Mom asks?
Timmy: I did it.
Mr. Turner: You're a good boy. [leaves]
Cosmo: Nifty bike, Timmy!
Timmy: I can't ride this bike at the big race! It stinks! I need a bike that's as cool as I am.
Cosmo: Timmy, this bike is as cool as you are.
Wanda: Besides, your dad made it for you with his own two hands. [the front tire bursts open and deflates]
Timmy: Yeah, well, he made a cruddy bike. I wish I had a super-bi—
Cosmo and Wanda: No!
Wanda: We had an agreement about "super" wishes.
Cosmo: Remember "Super-kitty"? [in a flashback, dogs and Timmy run away from a giant kitten, which roars and leaps after them]
Cosmo: It took the plunger. The whole plunger. [sucks his thumb and rocks in a fetal position]
Timmy: How 'bout this, then? I wish for a smart bike that's unstoppable, unbreakable, totally modern and cool and just for me. [the fairies grant the wish. Timmy gasps] It's beautiful.
Superbike: "Supertoilet". [Cosmo screams and sucks his thumb. Timmy gets on Superbike and presses buttons and flips switches on it. The boosters on the back activate. Superbike puts a helmet on Timmy and buckles a seat belt around him. Pedals come out and Timmy starts pedaling] Three... two... one... hang on, Timmy. [the bike rockets away, burning Cosmo and Wanda]
Cosmo: Didn't see that comin'! [he and Wanda crumble into ash. Timmy rides Superbike down a road. They pass two kids, burning them; three birds, turning them into cooked chicken; and a kid flying a kite, burning him and the kite. The land behind them burns up. Fade to the Turners' house in the morning]
Mr. Turner: Oh, son. Who wants a ride to Chester's?
TImmy: Not me. [leaving] I've got a really cool bike!
Mr. Turner: [to Mrs. Turner] Did you hear that? Timmy finally appreciates his old man!
Mrs. Turner: This calls for a celebration! Who wants a fruit shake?
Mr. Turner: [gasps] Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me! I do! [Mrs. Turner takes a blender out of a cabinet, and he gasps] That's not the blender I made you!
Mrs. Turner: Oh! Why, you're right! [drops the blender] Silly me. Let me get the "good" blender... [gets a hefty handmade blender]
Mr. Turner: Awright! Fruit me up, baby! [fade to outside the house]
Timmy: Bye, guys! I'm goin' over to Chester's!
Cosmo and Wanda: Have fun!
Superbike: Let me give you a ride there, Timmy.
Wanda: He's perfectly capable of walking...
Superbike: [chuckles] Supertoilet. [Cosmo screams and sucks his thumb] Come on, Timmy. [hypnotizing him] I'll take you.
Timmy: Well... [in monotone] I guess it's okay. Let's go! [he gets on Superbike and leaves with it, burning the fairies. Fade to Happy Trails Trailer Park. Timmy and Superbike pass the trailer Chester and AJ are in] There's Chester's house. Back there. [Superbike passes the trailer again] Hey! Cut that out! [Superbike stops in front of the trailer] What was all that about?
Superbike: Sorry, Timmy. I just don't think this is a very good neighborhood... is all.
Timmy: Yeah, right. Just stay here. [starts walking toward the trailer] That's an order! [Superbike falls over offscreen] What happened?
Superbike: You, uh... didn't put my kickstand down all the way?
Timmy: You look okay to me. Besides, you're indestructible. [starts walking away. Superbike removes one of its mirrors and drops it on the ground, breaking it]
Superbike: My mirror!
Timmy: Superbike!
Superbike: Go. Have fun with your friends.
Timmy: Are you okay?
Superbike: I'm fine... [coughs] Just leave me here on the cold ground... [coughs] I'll rust in silence... [hypnotizes Timmy]
Timmy: No, really. It's okay. I can go to Chester's anytime. Let's go home.
Superbike: [getting up] Can we go the long way?
Timmy: Uh... sure. Whatever you want. [rides Superbike away. Transition to Dimmsdale Memorial Park, the site of the bike race]
Mr. Turner: Where could Timmy be? Honey, check the watch I made you!
Mrs. Turner: [looks at "a combination watch/Tesla coil"] It's... [the watch electrocutes her] noon.
Mr. Turner: It's a half hour till race time! He's probably still polishing the bike... He loves that bike so much... [Timmy shows up on Superbike]
Timmy: Hey, Dad.
Mr. Turner: [sputters] Where's your bike?
Timmy: This is my bike.
Mr. Turner: You mean you've been riding this bike the whole time? And not the one I made you?
Timmy: Yeah. I mean, did you see how fast I was just going? We're gonna win.
Mr. Turner: If that's what you want, son. Fine. [pointing beside himself] I'll be right over here doing my pre-race deep breathing exercises. [leaves and comes back crying] Don't be alarmed if it looks like I'm sobbing. [leaves and returns] Oh, and if my eyes start to water, th-that's normal too. [takes a breath and walks away]
Timmy: [to Mrs. Turner] What's the matter with Dad?
Mrs. Turner: Timmy? Do you know why I use the clearly dangerous things your dad makes for me? It's because I love your dad, and it makes him happy to see me use them.
Mr. Turner: [crying against a tree] Just... doing... deep breathing!
Mrs. Turner: I won't make you ride the bike he made. I'm just saying... it would make your father happy if you did. [leaves]
Timmy: Oh, man...
Superbike: Come on, Timmy. We've got a race to win! [starts going]
Timmy: I... I can't. I wanna win, but not if it makes my dad sad!
Superbike: [stops] You know, if he really loved you, he'd let you [Superbike's upper body becomes dragon-like] ride me.
Timmy: Hey! Don't say that. My dad loves me!
Superbike: How do you know he's not lying?
Timmy: How do I know you're not?
Superbike: Well... [turns back to normal] I'm a bike!
Timmy: Yeah! And you've been manipulating me to keep me away from my friends and family! Come on! We're goin' home! [rides Superbike away. Fade to him riding into the garage. Cosmo and Wanda appear] Not a lotta time! You right, me wrong. [unveiling the handmade bike] Just because I can wish for something, doesn't mean I should.
Superbike: But, Timmy. [the bike's upper body becomes dragon-like]I'm your bike.
Timmy: Yeah, but you're not a very nice bike. And I don't wanna ride you anymore.
Wanda: That's it! Bye bye, Psychobike! [she uses her wand so that the bike will disappear, but nothing happens] Hey! What the...
Superbike: [breathes fire on her] I'm indestructible, remember?
Timmy: Wait. Can I talk to you for a minute... outside?
Superbike: [turns back to normal] Sure, Timmy!
Cosmo: But, Timmy... [Superbike goes outside]
Timmy: Shh... [closes the garage door]
Cosmo: [pointing to the mirror] What's that reflective thingy?
Timmy: Superbike's mirror. It broke.
Wanda: But how?
Cosmo: Well, it's just a stupid mirror!
Timmy: That's it! If the mirror falls off the Superbike, it's not a super mirror anymore... it's just a plain ol' regular mirror! If I can take the bike apart, then it just becomes a bunch of regular parts! Follow my lead... [opens the garage door; to Superbike] Hey... hey... I'm sorry. You're right. You're the best bike ever. Ohmygosh! Is that a scratch on your face?
Superbike: Where?
Timmy: Right there, on your nose. Can I get that for you? [wiping Superbike's face with a cloth] The best bike in the whole world shouldn't have a scratch! [Cosmo unscrews one of Superbike's hubcaps, which disappears, and gives Timmy a thumbs-up]
Superbike: What was that?
Timmy: Nothing. [Wanda unscrews another hubcap, which disappears, and she and Timmy thumbs-up each other]
Superbike: There it is again.
Timmy: Your chain is so dirty! I can't have you win with a dirty chain! [he goes under Superbike and uses the fairies as wrenches to remove pieces from it]
Superbike: Hey! That's not my chain! What are you doing?
Timmy: I'm just tightening a loose bolt.
Superbike: I know what's going on here! Fine! If I can't be your bike... [the bike's upper bike becomes dragon-like] nobody can! [the bike breathes fire at Timmy, who dives away from it]
Wanda: Timmy! [bringing out the other bike] Hurry, Timmy! [Superbike breathes fire at Timmy, who jumps away onto the other bike and starts pedaling away. Superbike goes after him but falls apart]
Superbike: Timmy, don't go!
Cosmo: [holding a big screwdriver] Hi, Superbike! Meet Super Screwdriver!
Superbike: "Supertoilet".
Cosmo: [screams; as Wanda takes the screwdriver and uses it] So much clogging...
Timmy: Hey, Wanda! [tosses up Superbike's head] Catch! [she bats the head away. Fade to the race]
Announcer: Take your places at the starting line, dads and sons!
Timmy: [on the handmade bike] Hey, Dad.
Mr. Turner: Hey! Where's your "cool" bike?
Timmy: I'm riding it. What could be cooler than a bike made by my dad?
Mr. Turner: Eeh, really?
Timmy: Yeah. Any dad can go out and buy a bike. You loved me enough to make one yourself! That's what makes it cool!
Mr. Turner: Aw... you're just saying that.
Timmy: So?
Mr. Turner: Right! Let's go! We've got a race to win!
Announcer: On your marks... get set... go! [other bikers pass Timmy and Mr. Turner, whose bikes fall apart. The two stare at each other and then start laughing]
Cosmo: [watching from behind a bush] Isn't that sweet? [Superbike's head lands beside him and Wanda and roars]
Wanda: Superbike, meet "Supertoilet"! [she and Cosmo make the big toilet appear. The head is magically put in it and flushed]
Superbike: Nooooo!
Cosmo: Hey! I've conquered my fear! [he slips on Supertoilet's seat, falls in, and gets flushed. Iris out on Wanda's face. The end title card is shown. Fade to black]
