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This article is a transcript of the Fairly OddParents episode "Spellementary School" from Season 7, which aired on February 26, 2011.
Transcript[]
[Fade in on the Turners' house in the morning]
- Cosmo and Wanda: Wake up, Timmy! Time for school!
- Timmy: What are you talking about? It's Saturday! And July!
- Wanda: Not school for you, sport! School for Poof!
- Poof: Poof poof!
- Wanda: Today is Poof's first day at Spellementary School. [poofing Poof into a suit] It's important to look your best! [Poof poofs himself into his normal clothes. Wanda poofs him into the suit, then he poofs himself into a football uniform, then she poofs him back into the suit, then he poofs to look like a clown, then she poofs him back into the suit] Spellementary School is where all magical kids learn to use their powers.
- Cosmo: Except me! I never went to Spellementary School!
[Everyone appears in a floating minivan outside the house]
- Cosmo: I'll drive! [Timmy and Wanda scream as he reverses and crashes into the house] I never went to driving school either. [smiles]
[Cut to outside Spellementary School. Cosmo pulls up, knocking all the other cars away]
- Timmy: [as leprechauns slide down a rainbow] Cool! Leprechaun kids!
- Leprechaun Mom: Faith, Begorra, [holding a pot of gold] here's your lunch money! [mushrooms in the grass turn into gnomes]
- Cosmo: And magical lawn gnomes! [the leprechaun kids run past the gnomes with the gold]
- Gnome Dad: Hey, you kids, stay offa my lawn!
- Timmy: [as elf kids run out of a tree] And elf kids!
- Elf Mom: Here's your nappy time snack, gang! [she drops a big cookie on the kids, who carry it away. Tiny creatures fly around Cosmo, and one of them gets in his eye]
- Cosmo: Ah! Get the mosquito repellent!
- Wanda: Those aren't mosquitoes. They're magical sprites.
- Cosmo: Ah! Then get the sprite repellent! [a sprite lands on his nose, and he hits himself in the face with a shovel]
- Wanda: [to Poof] Okay, sweetie, I know you're probably nervous about leaving us for the first time. But you have to be a big boy now. Don't cry. Be...
- Poof: [floating toward the school] Poof poof!
- Wanda: ...brave. Oh, my baby! [cries]
- Timmy: Don't worry, Wanda! You still got me! I'm not a small, helpless baby, but... [Wanda poofs a bonnet and a diaper onto him, and Cosmo puts a baby bottle in his ear. He glares at Cosmo]
- Cosmo: What? I never went to parenting school either. [they drive off. Foop's spacecraft touches down]
- Foop: Ah, Spellementary School. My future conquest. They will all bow down to me before recess. And I will teach my arch-nemesis, Poof, a lesson! [switches to a cutesy voice] Oh, why can't you get along with people? [switches to his normal voice] Oh, look who's turning goody-two-shoes on me! [presses a button that turns the spacecraft into a briefcase, and picks up the briefcase] Now to teach Poof the three Rs: reading, writing, and revenge! [laughs evilly. Sprites fly into his mouth and he chokes] Drat! Swallowed a sprite!
[Cut to the school bell ringing. An orb floats into a classroom and turns into a woman]
- Mrs. Powers: Hello, class! I'm Miss Powers! [making "Spellementary School!" appear in the air] Welcome to Spellementary School! [the message turns into butterflies]
- Poof: Poof poof! [Foop burns a butterfly with eye beams and grumbles]
- Powers: Now, before we get started, we have a celebrity among us today. A very famous magical baby. And his name is Foop!
- Foop: Oh! You're too kind.
- Powers: Spelled backwards! [kids cheer for Poof. Foop grunts angrily and crushes a sprite between a book] Okay, children. Take out your spellbinders and your magic markers. Can anyone tell me what two plus two is?
- Foop: Death!
- Powers: Eh... Not quite, Foop. Anyone else?
- Poof: Poof poof poof poof!
- Powers: Yes, that's right, Poof! Four! [Foop growls]
[Cut to a lunch lady poofing up food on Poof's tray in the cafeteria. Poof sits at a table and poofs up a nectar feeder, which sprites start floating around. Foop turns the feeder into a bug zapper, which electrocutes the sprites]
- Foop: Poof may be popular in class, but I shall rule the lunchroom! [zaps the kid beside Poof away, appears in his place, and cackles evilly. Poof glances at him, and he acts innocent, then laughs once Poof stops]
- Poof: Poof poof!
- Leprechaun Kid: Who is there?
- Poof: Poof poof! [kids laugh]
- Foop: You call that a joke? Well, then, prepare to have your funny bones broken! Knock knock!
- Elf Girl: [sighs] Who's there?
- Foop: Death! [laughs, then stops]
- Kids: [throwing food at Foop] Boo!
- Foop: You will perish in flames!
[Cut to the gymnasium]
- Powers: [blows a whistle] Children, it's time for gym class! [kids are playing basketball]
- Leprechaun Kid: Hey! Look what Poof can do!
- Poof: [bounces on the floor and launches himself up] Poof poof! [goes through a basketball hoop. Kids cheer]
- Foop: Oh, please! There's nothing special about that! Behold, playground, as I take my mad skills to the hoop! [jumps into the air, poses, and gets stuck in the hoop] Well, this is awkward.
- Elf Girl: [offscreen] Throw food at him again!
- Kids: [throwing food at Foop] Boo!
[Cut to Foop sitting in a corner of the classroom]
- Powers: Foop, I hope sitting in the corner will teach you it's wrong to conjure up nuclear weapons and aim them at your fellow students during nappy time. It's a good thing Poof was here to disarm those warheads. [Poof cuts the wire of a time bomb at the last second]
- Foop: [angrily] Yes! Aren't we so very lucky to have Poof around?
- Powers: Okay, children. It's time for a first-day-of-school tradition: electing a class president.
- Foop: Class president? This may be the way to super popularity!
- Powers: Does anyone want to make a nomination?
- Gnome Kid: Yeah, I nominate the Foop!
- Foop: Yes!
- Gnome Kid: Spelled backwards!
- Foop: [in his cutesy voice] You fall for that every time! [as normal] I do, don't I? Well, class, I nominate... me!
- Powers: Okay, candidates. [turns her desk into a podium] Time to make your campaign speeches.
- Foop: Now to wow them with my amazing oratory skills. If anyone knows how to win the hearts and minds of children, it's me. [floats to the podium] Class of morons and future victims, slaves, underlings, and minions... death, people! Fiery death! You wonder: Am I a leader? Death! And so, in conclusion, vote for me, or death, painful, fiery death. Thank you very much. [leaves the podium. Kids blink; in his cutesy voice] You were very self-assured. [as normal] Thank you. [switches voices] You know, I miss this "us" time. [switches] I do too. [switches] Let's have lunch! [switches] Now let's see Poof top that!
- Poof: [floats to the podium] Poof poof! [kids cheer]
- Foop: What?! You applaud that?! He's only saying his name! That's all he ever says!
- Powers: Okay, everyone. [turns the podium into a basket] Cast your vote for class president! [the basket floats to Poof, who writes on a paper slip and puts it in. The leprechaun kids put slips in the basket, and a walleyed, grinning elf puts a cookie in. The basket floats to Foop, who looks around, then puts scores of slips in and cackles evilly] Now to tally the results. [the slips float up and form two stacks] And it's unanimous! The winner is... Foop!
- Foop: Yes!
- Powers: Spelled backwards!
- Foop: Every time! [beat] Wait... Unanimous? But that's impossible! I voted for me! Repeatedly! [switches voices] Actually, Poof won me over with his speech, so I changed our vote. [switches] Oh, you imbecile! Being president was my last chance to rule the school! Fine! If I can't be the most popular kid at Spellementary School, then I'll make my own school, where I'll be the most popular child all the time! [turns the school into "SMELLementary School". Lightning strikes. He laughs evilly, and chains wrap around Mrs. Powers and several kids] Now you will all pledge allegiance... to me! [laughs evilly. Sprites fly into his mouth and he chokes] Swallowed another sprite.
- Poof: Poof poof! [kids gasp. Poof poofs into a Jedi costume, and his rattle becomes a light stick]
- Foop: [switches voices] Does Mr. Popular want to fight? [switches] It's at least two against one, so you don't stand a chance! [poofs into a Darth Maul costume. His bottle becomes a double light stick, and he and Poof fight] The Force is strong in you, Poof. Give up, and be my vice president! [switches] I thought I was your vice president. [switches] Pipe down! You're the secretary of agriculture! [to Poof] Join me, and together we can rule the school!
- Poof: Poof poof poof!
- Foop: You know, I can never understand you, but I assume that's a no or a punch line to a hilarious knock-knock joke. [he and Poof continue fighting. As if using the Force, he magically makes a window come off a wall and fly toward Poof, who cuts it in half. They fight and knock each other away] Well, if you won't join me, you'll just have to beat me! And I'm certain you can't. [laughs evilly and makes the chained-up kids fly toward Poof and wrap him up. Foop changes back to normal] Now, I command you to bow to me and call me the most popular!
- Kids: Never!
- Foop: Seriously? Wow. You're a tough crowd. Well, if you won't see things my way, you're all expelled! [a black hole appears and the school starts floating toward it. Kids scream. Foop flies away] And now I think I shall laugh evilly as you are all destroyed! [laughs evilly] Wait. I can be bigger. [laughs louder. Kids scream and the school is pulled apart. Cut to the school bell ringing. The school is back to normal]
- Powers: [laughs] My, what a fun first day of school. See you all tomorrow! [cheering kids run out of the room]
- Foop: Hold the phone, Broom-Hilda. What just happened?
- Powers: What happens every day at Spellementary School. Everything returns to normal at the end of the day. Haven't you heard the expression "saved by the bell"?
- Foop: So... that's it? All my terror and destruction... for nothing?
- Powers: Oh, not nothing. You've earned yourself a nice, long stay in detention.
- Foop: Say what now?
- Poof: Poof poof poof!
- Powers: Hold on. Poof wants to give you a presidential pardon, Foop, so you won't have to go to detention at all.
- Foop: Saved yet again by my nemesis? Nooooo! [cut to him and Poof leaving the school]
- Wanda: There's my big boy! [Poof opens his arms and she hugs him] Aww! [Foop growls]
- Cosmo: Hi, Foop! I didn't know you attended Spellementary School! [a sprite lands on Foop's nose] Ooh! Hang on! You have a sprite on your nose! I'll get it! [hits Foop with a shovel] There. [hits him again] Got it. [again] Oop! [again] There's another one. [again] Hold still. [again] I'm gonna get a bigger shovel. [again]
- Foop: Stop!
- Cosmo: I'm really gonna wind up on this one. [hits Foop]
- Foop: Please!
- Cosmo: Wanda, you should try this! [hits Foop] Oh, that's a freckle. [again] Uh, that's a mole. [again]
[The end title card is shown]
- Foop: [in voice-over] Ow! Curse you!
[Fade to black]
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OY!C ★ 1 ★ 2 ★ 3 ★ 4 ★ 5 ★ 6 ★ 7 ★ 8 ★ 9 ★ 10 | ||
#01 Anti-Poof | #02 Add-a-Dad | #03 Squirrely Puffs |
#04 Mice Capades | #05 Formula For Disaster | #06 Bad Heir Day |
#07 Freaks & Greeks | #08 Fly Boy | #09 Temporary Fairy |
#10 Crocker Shocker | #11 Super Zero | #12 Dadbra-Cadabra |
#13 Timmy Turnip | #14 One Man Banned | #15 Frenemy Mine |
#16 Chicken Poofs | #17 Stupid Cupid | #18 Double-Oh Schnozmo! |
#19 Planet Poof | #20 The Boss Of Me | #21 He Poofs He Scores |
#22 Playdate of Doom | #23 Teacher's Pet | #24 Manic Mom-Day |
#25 Crocker of Gold | #26 Beach Blanket Bozos | #27 Poltergeeks |
#28 Old Man and the C- | #29 Balance of Flour | #30 Food Fight |
#31 Please Don't Feed The Turners | #32 Take and Fake | #33 Cosmo Rules |
#34 Lights Out | #35 Dad Overboard | #36 Farm Pit |
#37 Crock Talk | #38 Spellementary School | #39 Operation Dinkleberg |