Snow Bound/Transcript

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This article is a transcript of the Fairly OddParents episode "Snow Bound" from Season 3, which aired on November 21, 2003.

Script[]

[The episode begins with Mrs. Turner and Mr. Turner, answering the phone.]

Mr. Turner: Honey? Are you sure you don't need me to come to the ski resort?
Mrs. Turner: Absolutely not! My sick aunt... Uh... Denise... insisted I come by myself to the Dimmsdale Ski Lodge and Resort for the entire weekend!
Mr. Turner: Well, okay, but if I catch just one whiff of trouble, I'm coming'!
Mrs. Turner: Don't worry! Everything will be just fine! (hangs up the phone as the screen goes wide)

[In Dimmsdale Ski Resort, Mrs. Turner is on the massage table along with A.J.'s Mom, Sanjay's Mom, and Elmer's Mom, are getting massaged by masseuses. As soon as she hangs up, the masseuses start karate chopping their backs furiously.]

Mrs. Turner: He bought it!
A.J.'s Mom: Which means we're free to enjoy our "Just Moms" weekend of rest and relaxation!
All Moms: Hurray for our "sick aunts!" (laughs)

[At Turner's Residence, Mr. Turner stands in the living room and hangs up his cordless phone as Timmy, with his fishbowl, watches TV. On the TV screen, a big, white Abominable Snowman roars loudly.]

Mr. Turner: (confused) Well, I suppose she's okay...
TV Announcer: Hey! Snowboarders and skibuffs! There's an Abominable Snowman loose at the Mt. Dimmsdale Ski Resort and Spa, and...
Mr. Turner: TROUBLE! TO THE SKI RESORT! (grabs Timmy by the collar)

[They drove the car down a snowy road towards Dimmsdale Ski Resort. In the passenger seat, Timmy, wearing a jacket with his arms crossed. Cosmo and Wanda are attached to his sleeves as mittens.]

Timmy: (annoyed) And we're going to the ski resort to see Mom, why?
Mr. Turner: Didn't you hear the TV? There's an Abominable Snowman loose on Mt. Dimmsdale!
Timmy: But Mom said not to come!
Mr. Turner: Timmy, women are complex and mysterious creatures! You can't take what they say at face value! Everybody knows when a woman says one thing, they probably mean something else!

[On Cosmo and Wanda.]

Cosmo: He's right, Timmy! Like when Wanda tells me I'm an idiot, she's really saying "I love you!"
Wanda: You're a moron!
Cosmo: Me too! With all my heart!

[In the backseat, Vicky is also wearing a jacket.]

Timmy: And Vicky is here, because?
Vicky: Because I said I didn't want to go, I didn't want to meet any hot ski hunks, and I didn't want to get paid!
Mr. Turner: So, I brought her and gave her double to baby-sit! We're going to protect your mother this weekend whether she wants it or not!

[The car pulls to a stop as it tracks the station wagon. Mr. Turner, wearing a rescue gear and holding a big net exits the car, while Timmy, holding his fishbowl and Vicky exits the car as well.]

Mr. Turner: I'm off to make this resort safe! What do you kids want to do?
Vicky: Well, I know I don't want to go snowboarding all day!
Mr. Turner: (reaches into his pocket and throws some cash at Vicky) Here's money for snacks! I'll see you later! Have a Snowtastic day!

[Vicky grabs Timmy by his collar and drags him offscreen.]

Mr. Turner: (pulls out a magnifying glass and examines the ground) ABOMINABLE FOOTPRINTS! (peering through the magnifying glass and walks toward the hotel)

[Later, Timmy, holding the goldfish bowl, and Vicky standing at the very top of the hill. He gulps and looks down to see the steepest, longest, snowboard trail.]

Vicky: Time to catch some flakes, twerp!
Timmy: Cool! I... (beat) Hey! I just realized! You don't have a snowboard!

[Vicky kicks at Timmy's heels and flips him on his face. He lays flat on the snow, holding the fishbowl in front of him.]

Vicky: Now I do! (Hops on Timmy's back, pushes off the mountain and rides Timmy like a snowboard, down the hill.)
Timmy: YAAAAAAA!!!!

[In the hallway, Mr. Turner, holding the net, follows a trail of snowy footprints towards a hotel room door.]

Mr. Turner: I'm on to you, Snowman... (stops at the door, and hears Mrs. Turner laughing as he grabs the knob and opens the door.) The footprints go in here! (He sees Mrs. Turner, sitting alone, relaxing in a hot tub.) HEY!
Mrs. Turner: Honey? What are you doing here? I... I can explain!
Mr. Turner: No need! Clearly, you're so worried about your aunt, you've filled this tub with your hot, soothing tears!
Mrs. Turner: Sure! Let's go with that!
Mr. Turner: Well, I'm not going to let some Abominable Snowman interfere with your visit with your sick aunt! By the way, where is she?
Mrs. Turner: She's uh... hiding! Hiding from the Abominable Snowman! Who I heard is on the 24th floor!
Mr. Turner: (gasps) Whatever you do, DO NOT LEAVE THIS SOOTHING RELAXING HOT TUB! (bolts offscreen, slamming the door behind him)

[As soon as Mr. Turner's gone, A.J.'s Mom, Sanjay's Mom, and Elmer's Mom pop up from under the water and take a deep breath.].

Sanjay's Mom: Crank forth the tunage!

[Mrs. Turner reaches over and turns a knob as the tunes crank.]

Mr. Turner: (runs up flights of stairs to get to the 24th floor) Must... protect... wife and aunt from... Abominable Snowman! 21... 22... 23... (exits through a door that goes out onto the roof, cranes up as he is on his knees and surveys the terror) 24! Oh, my heavens, he ate the 24th floor! HE ATE THE WHOLE FLOOR!! NOOO!

[Meanwhile, Vicky, riding Timmy like a snowboard, stops on a plain atop the hill.]

Timmy: (holds the fishbowl in front of him) Why can't you just RENT a snowboard?!?
Vicky: Because using you as the snowboard is much more fun! I get to torture you and keep the cash! It's a win win!

[On the fishbowl, Cosmo and Wanda are shivering.]

Wanda: I'm cold! It's freezing in here!
Cosmo: Really? Here! This'll cool you down!
Cosmo: (poofs up a fan as it blows in Wanda's face, and she shrieks) Don't mention it!

[Back on Timmy and Vicky.]

Timmy: I can't believe this! You are the absolute worst human being on Earth!
Vicky: Thank you! Now! START SHREDDING!

[Above Timmy and Vicky, Vicky's voice echoes through the scene.]

Vicky: (echoes offscreen) START SHREDDING!! SHREDDING!! SHREDDING!

[Suddenly, the mountain started to rumble as a big piece of the top of Mt. Dimmsdale cracks, breaks off and starts rolling down the hill. Timmy and Vicky looked at the top of the mountain as an avalanche roar right towards them.]

Timmy: Well, it wasn't nice knowing you.

[The snow fills the scene as Vicky and Timmy, with fishbowl, tumble along with the avalanche. Then, they fall into a cave as the avalanche covers the entrance, which is now sealed shut with snow.]

Timmy: I'm alive? I'm alive! And I may be stuck in a cave but that's not a problem because I have two magical Fairy God- (finds Cosmo and Wanda are frozen solid) -Sickles? OH NO! They're frozen!
Vicky: Stop worrying about your stupid fish! We'll be frozen too if somebody doesn't come to rescue us!
Timmy: I'm not worried! Somebody HAD to have heard the avalanche, right?

[Later, Timmy and Vicky sit at opposite sides of the cave, shivering.]

Timmy: (tries to unthaw the fishbowl and rubs it with his hands) Come on... thaw... thaw... (pulls out two twigs and rubs them together to create a fire, which ignites, freezes, and shatters like glass.) AAAGH!
Vicky: This is all your f... f... fault!!!
Timmy: My fault? How is it my fault? You're the one that caused the avalanche! You're the one that causes EVERYTHING bad that happens to me!
Vicky: Well, I... Wow, I'm so cold, the heat of my fury has cooled!
Timmy: You've been mean to me for years... and you're FINALLY getting what you deserve! The only good thing about all of this is that if I go down, at least you're going down with me!!

[This sinks into Vicky. Then, suddenly, she starts to cry little ice cubes.]

Timmy: Vicky? Are you... crying?
Vicky: WAAAA! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!
Timmy: (to Cosmo and Wanda) Man... I really wish you were unfrozen enough to see this...
Vicky: I don't mean to be mean all the time! I just am! AND NOW I'M GOING TO PERISH COLD AND ALONE!!
Timmy: Oh, man... I can't believe I'm saying this... We have to stay warm if we're going to stay alive... Maybe we could share our body heat...

[Vicky snaps around Timmy like a strait jacket.]

Timmy: ...by hugging?
Vicky: YOU'RE SO FORGIVING!! FOR A TWERP!!

[In the hallway, Mr. Turner leans against a wall, pondering.]

Mr. Turner: He's not on the roof... not outside...

[A bellman walks through scene carrying an ice bucket.]

Mr. Turner: Good heaven! Where did you get that?
Bellman: The ice? Out of that machine...

[Mr. Turner runs over, opens the ice machine up, and grabs a handful of ice cubes, but one melts in his hand.]

Mr. Turner: (gasps) Yeti droppings! He must be close! (loudly) I'M COMING HONEY!!!

[Later, Vicky still has Timmy in a chokehold. The fishbowl rests near Timmy's feet.]

Vicky: (while talking to Timmy on an ice psychiatrist chair) And then when I was eight, my mom said my turtle ran away. But he didn't run away! Turtles can't run!!!

[A loud roar was heard offscreen.]

Timmy: Uh... You hear something?
Vicky: Just the sound of my own sadness!

[A loud roar was heard again as a shadow falls over them. They both look up, revealing The Abominable Snowman.]

Timmy and Vicky: THE ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN?!?
Timmy: (throws the fishbowl like a bowling ball and knocks the abominable snowman off his feet as the bowl ricochets back to Timmy.) RUN!!!

[Vicky and Timmy, still holding his goldfish bowl, run around the abominable snowman and heads deep into the cave. The Snowman chases them through the cave, but Timmy and Vicky hit a dead end. On the floor, we see plastic forks, knives, and napkins. This room, however, has a small shaft of light peering into the cave. Vicky pulls out the cash that Mr. Turner gave her.]

Timmy: His dining room? We're Dead!
Vicky: (pushes Timmy behind her) Get behind me! I'll hold him off with my wads of frozen cash!
Timmy: A hole! (snaps loose an icicle)

[On Vicky]

Vicky: Timmy, since we're both about to be eaten by this horrible monster, I just want to say, I... (sees that Timmy's gone from the cave) ...can't believe you deserted me!

[The Monster got closer to Vicky, but suddenly, the fishbowl pops out of the snow as Cosmo and Wanda still frozen solid. Then, Timmy, using the icicle, scrambles out of the hole.]

Timmy: Sun! Light! Warmth!

(Uses the icicle as a magnifying glass, reflecting the sun through it, and blasting a heat beam into the fishbowl.) Come on... Melt... MELT! [Suddenly, the fishbowl unfreezes. Cosmo and Wanda snap out of their frozen position.]

Wanda: We're unfrozen!
Cosmo: Are we in the future?
Timmy: No time to explain! Quick! Come on! We've got to save Vicky!
Cosmo: Save Vicky? Timmy would never say that! WHAT YEAR IS THIS AND WHAT KIND OF TWISTED FUTURE ARE WE IN?!?

[Seconds Later, Vicky is cornered, throwing frozen cash at the Snowman. It shatters against him as he gets closer.]

Vicky: Get back! GET BACK!!!

[Suddenly, Timmy busts into the cave driving a driller. Timmy pops out a cockpit of the driller, wearing an automatic snowball shooter.]

Timmy: Hey! Snowman! Time to get Frosty! (begins blasting the Abominable Snowman with snowballs)
Vicky: Twerp! I mean Timmy! You came back for me!
Timmy: Of course, I did! We hugged! Now... (reveals Pink and Green Snowboards) Shred with me if you want to live!

[Seconds Later, Timmy and Vicky shred down the mountain.]

Vicky: I'm shredding like I've never shredded before! Almost like magic! Where'd you get these snowboards?
Timmy: Internet!

[On Cosmo and Wanda as snowboards, side by side.]

Cosmo: Seriously, how far in the future are we? Are there flying cars and jet packs?

[The Snowman roars offscreen. Then, they turn to see the Abominable Snowman, right behind them, snowboarding on a white snowboard.

Timmy: Ahh! He's right behind us!

[They bear down on their boards and head towards the Dimmsdale Ski Resort. They hit moguls, jumped through ravines, but the Snowman stays behind them. Meanwhile, in a dining bar, Mrs. Turner is on a phone, as the other Moms are behind her drinking hot cocoa.]

Mrs. Turner: But I ordered the pizza an hour ago! Where is it?

[Vicky and Timmy dramatically crashed through the bamboo walls and skitter to a halt.]

Mrs. Turner: Timmy? Vicky?

[The Snowman lands and pulls out knives and forks.]

Mrs. Turner: An Abominable Snowman?!
A.J.'s Mom: No! It's...

[The Yeti unmasks from a costume, revealing a big, beautiful muscular man. He pulls out some pizzas from the hot box.]

All Moms: The Abdominal Snowman!
Abdominal Snowman: Abdominals Pizza delivery! Kept hot and fresh against my rock-hard abs! (to Timmy and Vicky) I should have told you I wasn't a monster, but I'd have exposed the pizza to the cold!
Mr. Turner: (offscreen) GET AWAY FROM MY WIFE YOU ANIMAL!!! (Leaps at the Snowman headfirst. He bounces off the guy's washboard stomach) Hey! You're not abominable!
Abdominal Snowman: Duh! Haven't you seen my ad? (pulls out a remote and turns on the TV)

[On the TV screen, the big white Abominable Snowman roars loudly.]

TV Announcer: There's an Abominable Snowman loose on Mt. Dimmsdale, and... (The "Abominable Snowman" rips off his suit and holds pizzas.) And he's got hot fresh pizzas and a washboard stomach!

[Back on Mr. Turner and Abdominal Snowman, Mrs. Turner walks into scene.]

Mrs. Turner: Uh... I... I can explain!
Mr. Turner: No need! Clearly, being surrounded by your friends, and this steaming hot pizza is proof your sick aunt is cured and you're celebrating!
All Moms: Sure! Let's go with that!

[On Sanjay's Mom, who pulls up the boombox and cranks up the music.]

Sanjay's Mom: And let us once again crank forth the tunage and dance! It's now officially a party.

[The all moms including Mr. Turner start dancing. On Timmy, leaning against a wall, eating pizza. Cosmo and Wanda sit in their fishbowl, on a nearby coffee table.]

Timmy: Man, what a day!
Wanda: I know! You out shredded the abominable snowman - sort of - and you became friends with Vicky!

[Vicky enters and swipes Timmy's Pizza, gives him a wedgie and pulls his parka hood over his head.]

Timmy: HEY!!! What gives! I thought we were friends now!
Vicky: You didn't save me from a monster! You saved me from a HOT GUY! AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THAT! (Vicky's yelling starts another avalanche)

[Outside of Dimmsdale Ski Resort.]

Vicky: (voiceover) FOR THAT!

[The resort is between two gigantic mountains and one mountain had an avalanche earlier.]

Vicky: (voiceover) FOR THAT!

[And a second mountain. Vicky's echo causes the second avalanche to rumbling down through the mountain. Then, Vicky is covered with snow and frozen solid. The avalanche roars through the doors of the hotel and stops right at Timmy's feet. Vicky, her hateful scowl, frozen in place, glares at Timmy.]

Mr. Turner: Abominable Snowman?
Vicky: It's me, Vicky!
Mr. Turner: Which means it's not you, Vicky!

[Vicky screams as she runs away with Mr. Turner chasing her.]

Cosmo: Well, everything's back to the way it was in the present! Vicky hates Timmy! Mom loves Dad...
Wanda: And you're still the most oblivious idiot on the face of the Earth!
Cosmo: Okay! But there's a child present! (gives Wanda a big smooch)
Wanda: Aw... I love you!
Cosmo: What? WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU! HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT? I thought you loved me! WHAT HORRIBLE FUTURE IS THIS?! WAAA!!!!

[Crying, Cosmo dives into the fishbowl and fades out.]