Mr. Crocker: Well, class, the test results are in—and, as always, AJ gets an A. [gives him a paper with a big "A" on it]
AJ: Alright! Another A! I'm gonna add this to my A collection! [dances on his desk. Timmy sighs. Cosmo and Wanda appear on his desk as a pencil and eraser]
Wanda: What's wrong, Timmy?
Timmy: Aw... I didn't study.
Wanda: I thought you were studying all week with Cosmo. [Cosmo whistles] What were you guys doing? [a flashback to Timmy studying begins]
Cosmo: Hey! Wanna play the "Not Study Game"?
Timmy: How do you play?
Cosmo: [pushes the books on Timmy's desk away] You're already playing!
Timmy and Cosmo: Yay! [Cosmo uses his wand, changing the scene to him and Timmy playing a Crash Nebula video game. The flashback ends. The fairies disappear, and Crocker puts a paper marked "F" on Timmy's desk]
Timmy: F? My parents are gonna totally kill me!
AJ: [hitting his test against his buttocks] Go, AJ! Go, AJ! Go, AJ! Go, AJ! Go, AJ! Go, AJ! Go, AJ! [fade to a hallway] Go, AJ! Go, AJ! Go, AJ! Uh-huh! Uh-huh! Uh-huh!
Timmy: Awright, I heard! The whole school heard you! Give it a rest! [he pushes the door of his locker, which is filled with papers marked "F", further open]
AJ: There's no need for jealousy, Timmy! [pinches Timmy's cheek]
Timmy: I'm not jealous, I'm just sick of Crocker failing me.
AJ: If you studied, you probably wouldn't fail. I'll bet I could help you get that F all the way up to a D!
Timmy: Gee! Thanks a lot, Supernerd... [drinks from a water fountain] but shouldn't you be rescuing a calculator from a tree?
AJ: Spell calculator.
Timmy: C-A-L-Q... [thinks; leaving] Later! [fade to black. Fade to the Turners' living room]
Mr. Turner: Son, do you know why we're disappointed in this F?
Mrs. Turner: What a relief! We were going to blame ourselves!
Mr. Turner: You march right up to your room and apply yourself! [fade to Timmy's desk. The fairies are in their fishbowl]
Timmy: [sighs; reading a book] Chapter one. [beat] I'm done! Let's play the "Not Study Game"! [Cosmo turns into a bulldozer, breaking the bowl. Wanda bounces on the floor and turns back to normal. Cosmo dumps the books on the desk on the floor and uses his wand, changing the scene to him and Timmy playing the video game] All I have to do is get the turbo-laser hyperbole generator to activate Zarkon's principle of thrust and create a wormhole large enough to break the space-time continuum! [a phone rings] Darn it! [picks up the phone] Hello!
AJ: [over the phone] Hi, Timmy! I... [a loud zapping sound comes from Timmy's TV]
Crash Nebula: [from the TV] Game over! But I shall return!
AJ: Are you playing the Crash Nebula video game? Shouldn't you be studying?
Timmy: What are you, my mom? [puts the handset on the base]
AJ: Hey, genius! You missed the receiver! [Timmy tries again] Nope! Still off!
Timmy: [hangs up correctly] Just 'cause AJ gets As all the time, he thinks he knows everything! But he doesn't. [beat] Hey, but I could, right? I could wish that I knew everything! [Cosmo and Wanda shrug and grant the wish]
Wanda: Okay! [puts Timmy and Cosmo on a fake game show] Let's see how smart you are! [spotlights shine on the stage] What flammable...
Cosmo: [presses his buzzer] Pudding! [beat]
Wanda: What flammable substance is the most abundant element in the universe? [a buzzer sounds] Timmy!
Timmy: Hydrogen! And the study of fish? Ichthyology. And a Chinese mammal who eats mainly bamboo is the giant panda!
Wanda: Correct! It's official! You know everything! [Cosmo presses his buzzer multiple times and sees Wanda looking at him]
Cosmo: I like making the buzzy noise. [continues pressing. Fade to the school]
Crocker: Well, we're two days away from the Academic Brain-a-thon, and I don't suppose anyone other than AJ read...
Timmy: About the Texans' war for independence from Mexico? [to AJ] Remember? The Alamo. Yes, the Alamo. Circa 1836. Thirteen days. It gained Texas its independence and added more than...
AJ: ...a million square miles to America!
Timmy: Actually a million, five thousand and two.
AJ: [looks in a book] He's right.
Crocker: May I borrow your A? [takes a paper marked "A" from AJ's desk; giving it to Timmy] Here you go! [kids cheer. AJ growls. Fade to the hallway]
AJ: What was that all about?
Timmy: Let's see... How can I phrase this eloquently? Oh yeah! Just smoking you at your own game. [shaking his buttocks at AJ] Go, Timmy! Go, Timmy! Go, Timmy!
AJ: Yeah, Timmy, go. So you're smart for a day. You think anybody's impressed?
Principal Waxelplax: Wow, Timmy, I'm impressed! How would you like to be in our Academic Brain-a-thon? We could sure use you as first chair! [gives him a "first chair" invitation]
AJ: But... I've always been first chair!
Waxelplax: Oh, AJ, you'll still be on the team! You'll just be in the not-as-important second chair!
AJ: What's the difference?
Timmy: One chair. Duh! [he and Waxelplax laugh as AJ leaves steaming. Fade to black. Fade in on the Turners' house at night. Timmy channel-surfs on the living room TV. The fairies appear as mice. Timmy switches to a baseball game]
Mr. Turner: Ooo! The game!
Timmy: Drek. [switches to a basketball game]
Mr. Turner: Ooo! The other game!
Timmy: Garbazh. [switches to a program called Political Roundtable] Ooo! Government-funded television!
Mr. Turner: Awwww...
Mrs. Turner: [holding a sundae] Oh, Timmy, my little prodigy... I made you...
Timmy: A hot fudge sundae teeming with cholesterol, saturated fats, artificial preservatives. Gee, thanks.
Cosmo and Wanda: Gasp!
Mr. Turner: Uh... Son? I was filling out your application to Harvard like you told me to and...
Timmy: [looks at the application] You misspelled college. Way to go.
Cosmo and Wanda: Gasp!
Mr. Turner: [looking at his watch] Wow, it sure is late! Time for bed, champ!
Timmy: Geniuses get to stay up late.
Mrs. Turner: Oh, not when they're 10 years old, they don't.
Timmy: Well, if your math is as good as Dad's spelling, I may already have turned 21, for all you know!
Cosmo and Wanda: Gasp!
Mr. Turner: Those gasping mice are right! You're way outta line!
Mrs. Turner: You can make fun of my math skills until it's 13 o'clock, but you do not act like a smarty pants!
Timmy: Can you prove I was a smarty pants?
Mr. Turner: Eh, what?
Timmy: In an infinite universe where reality is interpreted through our continuously fluctuating perception, providing any kind of absolute definitive proof of anything becomes little more than speculation based on random data. [leaves]
Mrs. Turner: Eh, in an infinite what?
Mr. Turner: Eh... My brain hurts. [fade to the school on the day of the Brain-a-thon. Timmy and AJ are seated at a table and two other kids are seated at another]
Announcer: Welcome to the annual Dimmsdale Academic Brain-a-thon! Today's competition is between Snerd Elementary... [the audience claps a little] and Dimmsdale Elementary! [the audience cheers, and Timmy smugly points at them] Here's your first question: This Pacific Northwest insect can grow to a length of 8 inches. [AJ reaches for the Dimmsdale team's buzzer, but Timmy presses it] Dimmsdale!
Timmy: Well, it's very obvious. The answer is... [magical sparkles appear around him] uh... Duh?
Announcer: Uh, no, I'm sorry... Duh is incorrect. [Snerd's buzzer is pressed] Snerd!
Rival Kid: The banana slug. [Snerd scores a point]
Announcer: First point goes to Snerd!
AJ: [to Timmy] What are you doing?
Timmy: Uh... building dramatic tension?
Announcer: Next question. What is the capitol of Idaho? [Timmy presses his team's buzzer] Dimmsdale!
Timmy: Uh... It's... It's... Uh... I gotta go. [runs off. AJ presses the buzzer]
Announcer: Dimmsdale!
AJ: Boise!
Announcer: Correct! Point for Dimmsdale! [cut to backstage]
Timmy: Cosmo! Wanda! Where are you? [the fairies appear] What's going on? I don't know anything anymore!
Cosmo: Welcome to my world!
Wanda: Now that you're in a competition, you can't use the knowledge to win! That's cheating! The wish is off!
Timmy: What? Why didn't you tell me that?
Cosmo: We figured you'd know, Mr. "I know everything in the universe!"
Timmy: I got here because of a magic wish. AJ worked hard for it—and I took it away from him! [cut to the stage]
Announcer: And that completes our first round, with Snerd leading by eight points! We'll take a short intermission and then continue! [AJ goes backstage]
Timmy: Hey.
AJ: What? Did you get the questions wrong so you can look like the big hero with a come-from-behind victory?
Timmy: I'm sorry I was such a jerk to you. I was just jealous. And, in an impossible-to-explain way, I sort of cheated to make myself seem smarter than I really am.
AJ: Yeah, well... maybe you would have let me help you study if I hadn't been so busy gloating.
Timmy: But you deserve to gloat! Everybody's got something they're good at. You're good at studying, and I'm good at... uh...
AJ: Playing video games! Did you see how much faster you were than me on that buzzer?
Timmy: Maybe... but it doesn't matter. I can't win by cheating. I'm going to disqualify myself. [to the announcer] Excuse me... I...
AJ: He wanted to tell you that he wants to switch chairs with me and get back in the game. Right? [winks]
Timmy: Uh... yeah! What he said. He's the smart one!
AJ: And you're the fast one! I'll be the brains, you be the reflexes. Deal?
Timmy: Deal! [fade to later]
Announcer: Welcome back! The score is 5 to 13, with Snerd in the lead! Let's begin! The scientific name for "spider"! [Timmy presses the Dimmsdale buzzer]
AJ: It's arachnid.
Announcer: Correct! [a montage begins. Timmy presses the buzzer]
AJ: Infralapsarianism!
Announcer: Correct! [the buzzer is pressed] Correct! Another point for Dimmsdale! [Timmy presses the buzzer]
AJ: Gluteus maximus!
Announcer: Correct! [the buzzer is pressed]
AJ: The answer is 1,952!
Announcer: Correct! [Dimmsdale now has 89 points]
AJ: Nice button hitting, pal.
Timmy: Don't thank me! Thank the "Not Study Game"! [fade to later]
Announcer: Well, with a dead-heat score of 99 to 99, we move on to our final question. The category is... Potpourri.
Timmy: A question about smelly stuff?
AJ: A question that can be about anything.
Announcer: Describe the propulsion system used on... [stops and looks closely at the card he is reading from] the spaceship used by Crash Nebula?
AJ: I don't know that! [Timmy sees the boy on the rival team has a Crash Nebula hat. He gapes. The two reach for the buzzers, and one of them is pressed]
Announcer: And... Dimmsdale!
Timmy: Crash Nebula's cross-dimensional propulsion system uses a turbo-laser hyperbole generator to activate Zarkon's principle of thrust to create a wormhole large enough to shatter the space-time continuum!
Announcer: Correct! Dimmsdale wins!
Timmy and AJ: Yes! [the audience cheers. Fade to later]
Announcer: Congratulations, Timmy Turner! [gives him a trophy]
Timmy: Actually, I'd like this to go to my pal AJ. [gives it to him] He did the work. I just made the buzzy noises. [winks to the fairies, bees]
AJ: Yeah! [dunks the trophy, which shatters. The audience gasps] I gotta work on the gloating. [fade to Timmy's room. Timmy sighs happily]
Wanda: [as a goldfish] We're glad you're back to normal, Timmy!
Cosmo: [as a goldfish] Yeah! We missed the nice, less smart you!
Mr. Turner: Aha! After re-reading our parenting books, we think we've got a response to your sassiness.
Mrs. Turner: Yes. We hired a lawyer.
Timmy: Well, that won't be necessary. I'm sorry I was a jerk, and I think you have the grounds to... well, ground me. I was a creep. A big, smart creep.
Lawyer: You figured that out on your own? [Mr. and Mrs. Turner look at him; leaving] Well, I still get paid!
