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This article is a transcript of the Fairly OddParents episode "Smart Attack!" from Season 5, which aired on October 5, 2005.
Script[]
[The episode starts with Timmy working frustratingly on his geography homework]
- Timmy: Man, this geography homework is impossible. Where's America?! All I can find in this stupid globe is USA!!
[Pronounces U.S.A. as a single word rather than an acronym]
- Cosmo: Why don't you just wish for a super brain!
- Wanda: Uh, I wouldn't do that, sport. Remember the last time?
[Flashback to a school day, Mr. Crocker hands out test sheets to the students]
- Mr. Crocker: Okay, children, you have 12 minutes to finish that pop quiz. FAIRIES!!
- Timmy: Man, I can't fail this test. I wish I had a super brain!
[Timmy's wish has been granted -- SUPER-BRAIN!]
- Cosmo: Hey, isn't that the brain signal?
[The "brain signal" is a picture of a brain in a beacon light shining in the sky. The top of Timmy's head opens like a hatch, revealing a superhero brain.]
- Super-Brain: This looks like a job for... SUPER-BRAIN!!
[Super-Brain flies away, leaving Timmy just lying his head on his desk and drooling with a stupid look on his face]
- Wanda: I'll get a drool mop.
[Back to the present....]
- Timmy: Darn it! I hate geography. (crumbles up a piece of paper and tries to throw it into the garbage)
- Mr. Turner: Ohh! Did you say geography? I love shapes! (Draws a triangle on a chalkboard and spells "parallelothingy") This is a "parallelothingy".
- Timmy: Dad, that's geometry, sort of. I'm studying geography.
- Mr. Turner: I'm on it! (goes right next to Timmy and holds a ring). This is cubic Zirconium! It’s really inexpensive even though it looks like a real diamond! But don’t tell your mother.
- Mrs. Turner: Don’t tell me what?
- Mr. Turner: Uh, How much I love you?
[Mrs. Turner smiles and then walks away.]
- Timmy: Studying rocks is geology. Not geography.
- Cosmo: Geometry, geology, geography, I don't know what the problem is, they all start with "J".
- Wanda: Here's another "J" word for you: "jidiot".
- Timmy: Uh dad? If it's okay, I think I'll call somebody smarter to help. Like A.J, or mom, or this puppet of a short guy. (holds up a puppet)
- Mr. Turner: What!? I'm not going to sit here and be insulted like this. I'm out of here! (walks into Timmy's closet and then there are crashing sounds) I mean, now I'm out of here. (walks into the bathroom and there are more crashing sounds) I mean, NOW I'm out of here! (walks out the window) Ah, now I'm out. (crying) I can't help my only son! (he tries to fit a cube into a circle slot) I'm such a jidiot!
- Timmy: I didn't mean to hurt his feelings, or his spine. I just need someone smarter than dad. Or a smarter dad! I wish my dad was the smartest dad in the world!
- Wanda: You got it!
- Cosmo: Jippee!
[Cosmo and Wanda make Timmy's dad smarter. Knowledge is going into Mr. Turner's brain. He gets while hair and it stick up. He also wears a suit. Mr. Turner then puts the cube into the square hole.]
- Mr. Turner: Eureka! (as he writes on a chalk board) Which isn't just an exclamation of discovery, it's a town in both California and Kansas.
- Timmy: So Wanda, isn't this about the time you warn me about how this wish could go horribly wrong?
- Wanda: Actually, I sorta like this one. In fact, isn't there anybody else you'd like to make smarter?
- Cosmo: (as he tries to fit a cube into the round hole) Curse you, round hole!
- Wanda: Anybody? At all? That rhymes with "Josmo"?
- Mr. Turner: Greetings, genetic combination of your mother and myself.
- Cosmo and Wanda: Ahhhhh! (poof into the fish bowl)
- Mr. Turner: (kicks the crumbled paper and unfolds it) Did you say you need help with your homework? (Timmy smiles, then Mr. Turner writes the answers on Timmy's homework)
- Timmy: Awesome! You're the smartest dad ever! (hugs his dad) I love you...now!
- Mr. Turner: Now son, super geniuses like me don't have time for emotions. (pushes Timmy off) Besides, we have to get this test to Mr. Crocker. (folds the homework into a fancy paper airplane then flies to Mr. Crocker's house.)
- Mr. Crocker: (while relaxing in the tub) Ah, warm tub, soft bubbles and the sweet smell of peppermint candles. What is this perfect bath missing? (the homework paper airplane arrives) Of course! A child to fail! (prepares to write) Wait a minute, these answers are all correct. But I don't care! F! (a rocket deploys from the paper airplane) And now I do! A! (writes "A" on the rocket, it launches on Mr. Crocker) Plus!