Crash Nebula: Ah, space crud. [he flies away from the planet and it explodes]No![four smaller robots fly out of the explosion. Truck out to reveal that this is being shown on Timmy's TV]
Timmy: That's what I wanna be for Halloween! That!
Cosmo: Okay! [turns him into a TV showing the same program]
Timmy: I know, [as the fairies turn him back to normal] but the coolest Halloween costumes are always the scary ones. And those Jack-o-bots are cool! I need a cool costume! [there is a knock at the door and the fairies disappear. Mr. Turner opens the door. He and Mrs. Turner are costumed as each other]
Mr. Turner: Mmm, like ours! I'm going as your mom!
Mrs. Turner: And I'm going as your dad!
Timmy: And I'm going straight to therapy.
Mr. Turner: The heck you are! You're going trick-or-treating, whether you're crazy or not! [he and his wife leave. The fairies come out of hiding]
Timmy: We gotta move quick... Chester and AJ will be here any minute. I wish I had one of the Jack-o-bot costumes! [the fairies raise their wands, which go limp] Uh, hey, what gives?
Wanda: [looking at a vision in her wand] Hmm... Well, it says here there are only four actual costumes, and they were won in a contest! Somebody must already have 'em!
Timmy: [as the doorbell rings] Who?
Kids: [offscreen] Trick or treat!
Mr. Turner: [offscreen] Wow! Cool authentic "Jack-o-bot" costumes, kids!
Timmy: What?! [zips away. The fairies appear as pumpkins by the front door, where there are four kids in Jack-o-bot costumes]
Trixie Tang: And I'm the Flawless Diamond Princess Jack-o-bot! [referring to Veronica] This is my lackey, the far less precious Ruby Jack-o-bot! [to her] More shine, please. [Veronica polishes Trixie's costume with a hateful look]
Timmy: Hey! How'd you get those costumes? They were supposed to be won in a contest!
Chad: Well, may the richest kids, who can bribe the judges, win!
Tad: Now fork over the treats or... [presses a button that makes toilet paper rolls and cartons of eggs come out of his costume]
Chad: Ya get tricked!
Mr. Turner: Ooh, there'll be no need for tricking here!
Mrs. Turner: Costumes this wonderful deserve treats equally as wonderful!
Mr. Turner: Here's Timmy's video games, all of his CDs and the money we were saving for his birthday presents! [he and his wife put them in the rich kids' bags and the kids leave]
Timmy: Hey! Why'd you give them all my wonderful stuff?
Mr. Turner: Why not? Those costumes were wonderful! [his wife closes the door. AJ rings the doorbell. Mrs. Turner opens the door and sees Chester and AJ dressed as a vampire and Frankenstein's monster] While Chester and AJ's costumes are not wonderful!
Mrs. Turner: But you kids will get something equally as wonderful! Advice! [she is holding a plastic pumpkin filled with paper slips]
Chester: [reading] "Remember to say please and thank you, even when receiving lame advice for a Halloween treat"?
AJ: [reading another paper slip] "Right clicking your mouse gives you a variety of options while editing documents"?
Mr. Turner: Happy Halloween! [he and Mrs. Turner wave and leave the scene]
Chester: Your parents stink, Timmy!
Timmy: But, come on! What'd you expect? You're not gonna get any candy in those lame outfits!
AJ: Oh, yeah? What are you going as?
Timmy: I can always go as the most terrifying monster in the world! Vicky! [laughs. Vicky shows up] Uh... Vicky?
Vicky: Yep.
Timmy: My parents are paying you to take me, Chester and AJ trick-or-treating, aren't they?
Vicky: Mmm-hmm!
Timmy: I'm dead, aren't I?
Vicky: You're not just dead! You're undead! [applies toilet paper to him offscreen] Hmm... Good thing I brought the two-ply! [Timmy is now costumed as a mummy]
Timmy: [struggling] One ply too many... Can't break free! [falls over]
Chester: [sarcastically] Ooo. A mummy made of toilet paper.
AJ: [sarcastically] Much less lame.
Vicky: And remember I get a 70/30 split of all candy taken in! [gives the kids bags] Move it! [Chester and AJ zip away and AJ takes Timmy along. Fade to Vicky leading the kids down a street]
Timmy: Well, I don't care if I am wrapped in toilet paper and my costume stinks. I'm ready, I'm willing and I'm... uh...
Cosmo: [offscreen] Totally absorbent!
Timmy: Right, Cosmo! [has a realization. He turns to Cosmo and Wanda, who are dressed as a janitor and a nurse and are floating near the ground] Cosmo? Wanda? What are you guys doing? If anybody sees you with me, you'll have to go away forever!
Wanda: Timmy, it's okay! It's Halloween! Everybody's wearing a costume!
Cosmo: Yeah, nobody will know we're fairies! This year, I'm going as a floating human janitor!
Wanda: And I'm a floating human nurse!
Cosmo: Who floats!
Vicky: And I'm the wicked witch of "where's my candy?!" [drops bags on the fairies]Start begging![the fairies cower behind Timmy. Above them, a Yugopotamian warship is spying on Earth]
King Grippullon: [offscreen] Behold, my queen! [cut to him and Queen Jipjorrulac watching kids on a screen in the ship] It appears the Earthlings are hosting some sort of intergalactic convention!
Queen Jipjorrulac: Without inviting us? They are conspiring against us! [screams]
Grippullon: This offense by the Earthlings demands a royal response of the highest order! I... shall pout! [frowns. The Queen sighs. Fade to Timmy and company at a doorstep]
Tad: Good thing these actual Jack-o-bot costumes give us enhanced strength! [he and company are passing by holding their overstuffed bags]
Chad: Yeah! It sure makes it easier to carry all this candy no one else is getting! [Vicky uses Timmy's head to knock on the door]
Timmy: [grunts in pain] Ouch!
Timmy, Cosmo, Wanda, Vicky, AJ and Chester: Trick or treat! [the door is opened by Principal Waxelplax]
Timmy: Principal Waxelplax? You're dressed as a mirror?
Waxelplax: So, you can all see what wonderful students you are! I have an extra special gift for all of you! [holds up reflective tape. Timmy and the other trick-or-treaters blink, and she puts tape on them]
Timmy: Reflective tape?
Waxelplax: That's right. I'm reflective! [as Chester whispers to AJ]You're reflective! [as Chester takes out toilet paper] This year, I'm giving away safety! And if you TP my house, I'll hold all of you back a year! [closes the door]
Chester: I'm being held back a year anyway. [running offscreen] Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! [fade to outside Dr. Bender's house. Lightning strikes]
Timmy, Cosmo, Wanda, AJ and Chester: Trick or treat! [the door opens, revealing Bender and Wendall]
Timmy: Wow! Great evil dentist costume, Dr. Bender! And great Tooth Fairy costume, Wendall!
Bender and Wendall: What costumes?
Bender: Here you go, children! Sugar-flavored, sugar-coated pieces of sugar! Wrapped in sugar and filled with anti-fluoride. Enjoy the tooth-rotting goodness... and I'll be slowly scraping your gums in no time! [Timmy and company scream and run away]
Wendall: You're the reason I don't have any friends. [cut to inside the warship. The screen in the ship shows Timmy and company running past Vicky screaming. Vicky takes candy from her bag and starts eating it]
Grippullon: Wait... Wait... [gasps] You were right, my queen! It is a conspiracy! The Earthlings are arming themselves for war with a substance most lethal to we Yugopotamians... candy! This offense demands a royal response of an even higher order! [pulling a lever] I shall... [a pen and a paper come out of a counter] write an angry letter! [angrily writes a Q] Somebody mail this. [fade to outside the Buxaplenty mansion]
Timmy: Look! We're at the Buxaplentys' mansion! They're rich!
Mr. Buxaplenty: [to the rich kids] Mmm! Great costumes, rich kids!
Chad: Thanks, rich adult! [cut to the rich kids leaving]
Tad: I got a candy apple and $12,000!
Chad: I got Krugerrands and a pound of fudge!
Trixie: Thanks to our amazing costumes, the rich get richer!
Tad: [offscreen] Hey, everybody, let's gloat again! [the rich kids laugh. Timmy rings the doorbell, which makes a cash register sound]
Timmy, Cosmo, Wanda, AJ and Chester: Trick or treat! [the door opens]
Mr. Buxaplenty: Well, let's see what we have for children that don't have wonderful robot costumes. [Timmy and company smile; considering buttons on a security panel] Doberman, Rottweiler, hmm, I believe I'm feeling rather "pit bull" this evening. [presses the "pit bull" button. An alarm blares and a metal door hides him. Pit bulls start running toward Timmy and company, who scream and start running away]
AJ: Hide in the bushes! They won't see us in the shadows! [everyone jumps into a bush. A spotlight shines on them, reflecting light off the tape. The dogs growl and bark at them]
Timmy: Oh, no! The safety tape!
Chester: What's so safe about this? [everyone runs away. Timmy's costume gets snagged on a branch]
Timmy: [screams and falls] Go on without me!
Cosmo, Wanda, AJ and Chester: Okay!
Timmy: I was just being... dramatic... Uh... nice doggies? [the dogs bark and approach him offscreen. The scene tears in half, transitioning to a kid dumping candy into a bowl on a scale, whose light changes from red to green. Vicky writes on a notepad. AJ, Chester, Wanda, Cosmo and Timmy, who has scratches on his face and whose costume is torn, are lined up behind the kid]
Vicky: Next! [AJ starts dumping candy into the bowl]
Cosmo: [to Timmy] Look at it this way. That toilet paper is really helping to slow down the bleeding!
Timmy: Reflective tape? Bite wounds? Aw, man! The rich kids are gonna get all the good stuff and we're not gonna get anything because of our stupid, unrealistic costumes!
Cosmo: Vicky seems to be raking it in, and she doesn't even have a costume!
Timmy: Yeah! You're right, Cosmo!
Cosmo: Huh? I was right about something? All right! Then I'm way too smart to be a janitor! From now on, I'm gonna be the supervisor! [a key ring appears in his hand] Look at all my keys!
Timmy: Don't you see? The rich kids are getting candy because their costumes are real, and Vicky's getting our candy because she's scary! Just plain scary! That's what I want! I wish all of our costumes were real and scary! [a musical number starts]♪ On Halloween ♪
♪ All through the night ♪
♪ We should be filled ♪
♪ With fear and fright ♪
♪ But I don't see ♪
♪ Much here tonight ♪
♪ Cause everything is so fake ♪
♪ I want something' real and real scary ♪
♪ Not cardboard, squeaky and clean ♪
♪ I want something' big, green and hairy ♪
Cosmo: Like a frog on a fur trampoline?
Timmy: No! ♪ It's time to get down to business ♪
♪ And spook up this boring scene ♪
♪ I wish things were real and real scary ♪
Timmy and Singers: ♪ Tonight on Halloween ♪
Singers: ♪ Real and scary ♪
Timmy: ♪ Like a vampire's fangs in the night ♪
Singers: ♪ Real and scary ♪
Timmy: ♪ Like a witch on a broom takin' flight ♪
Singers: ♪ Real and scary ♪
Timmy: ♪ Like an unwashed, forgotten latrine ♪
Singers: ♪ Real and scary ♪
Cosmo: Like a zit-covered, hormone-crazed teen?
Zit Teen: Hi!
Timmy: ♪ So that's what I want, real and scary ♪
♪ So when I trick-or-treat, they can see ♪
♪ That I'm a force to be dealt with ♪
♪ And they better give their candy to me ♪
♪ I wish we were all real and scary ♪
♪ I wish this was one freaky scene ♪
♪ I wish the whole world were real scary ♪
Timmy and Singers: ♪ Tonight on Halloween ♪[the fairies look at each other, brace and grant the wish]
Timmy: Cosmo! Wanda! It worked! [his arm falls off] I'm a real mummy! Not a toilet paper–covered kid, but a real, honest-to-dead mummy! And I'm rotting! Cool! [sees the fairies are now a monster janitor and nurse] This is awesome! Who cares if I didn't get to wear that stupid Jack-o-bot costume? Look at us! This is gonna be the best Halloween ever! [cut to Elmer walking up to Tad and Chad in a Crash Nebula costume]
Tad: He's got intergal-acne! [they laugh and turn into real Jack-o-bots]
Gold Jack-o-bot: And you should prepare to perish! Gold and Silver Jack-o-bot...
Silver Jack-o-bot: Unite to form Mega Jack-o-bot! [flies up. Elmer turns into a monster Crash Nebula with a boil]
Elmer: Prepare for pulse-pounding space action! And pulse-pounding, pulsing face pustules! [points a laser at the Jack-o-bots. The Silver one lands on the Gold one and freezes Elmer]
Gold Jack-o-bot: Seek out additional Jack-o-bots...
Silver Jack-o-bot: To form Pumpkinator doomsday device and make this the worst Halloween ever...
Gold and Silver Jack-o-bots: ...By destroying the Earth! [the Diamond and Ruby Jack-o-bots appear in split screen]
Jack-o-bots: Jack-o-bots... activate gloat mode. [they laugh. Fade to black]
Act 2[]
[Fade in on the night sky. Bats fly down. A Headless Horseman rides past Cosmo, Timmy and Wanda]
Timmy: What an awesome Halloween! Our real scary costumes rock!
Vicky: All right, twerp, I'm running low on sugar. [walks past him; taking his arm with his bag] Let's go!
Timmy: Wow. Vicky's still the same horrible person she was before my wish!
Cosmo: Next time, maybe we should dress her up as a human being. Or a pickle.
Wanda: Well, at least all the other kids seem to be enjoying their costumes!
Timmy: "All"? What do you mean, "all"?
Wanda: Everybody.
Timmy: What?! [various creatures and monsters pass by. Cut to the ship]
Mark Chang: Mom? Me, Jeff and Erik are going torturing. Where'd you put my death ray? Hey, what're you guys watching'?
Jipjorrulac: The Earthlings have triggered a doomsday device called the "Pumpkinator" that's going to blow up their entire planet!
Mark: Awesome! [the screen shows Vicky] I mean... not awesome! That is my beloved, evil Vicky! You must let me save her!
Grippullon: Well, I suppose we could put her in the zoo as the last survivor of a dead planet.
Mark, Jeff and Erik: Road trip! [fade to Mark's ship landing in town. He and his friends are in hazmat suits]
Mark: [leaving the ship with his friends] Okay, dudes. These anti-candy suits should protect us from the sugary human weapons. But just to be sure... let us test the suits by using this hideously yummy, Earthly gumdrop! [with tongs, he drops the gumdrop into Jeff's hand, which it burns through]
Jeff: [screams] Its sweetness is most painful!
Mark: 'Kay... according to the readings on my Vicky detector... there is a colossal concentration of pure badness... [chuckles] 50,000 Yugopotamian miles from here... Which would be... like, two Earth inches. [sees Vicky beside him]
Vicky: Oh, great. You geeks! [as Jeff screams in the background] Where'd you get the stupid European costumes? Dorks "R" Us?
Mark: Vicky! My beloved. [as Jeff screams in the background] 'Tis I, Mark! Your rocking princely love from...
Erik: [looking at Timmy's detached arm] Look out! She's armed! [swats the bag away. Candy from the bag falls on Jeff]
Jeff: [screams] The sky! It rains death! [zips away. The bag lands]
Timmy: Hey, my arm! Where'd that come from? [Wanda uses a first aid kit to reattach the arm. Timmy notices Jeff screaming] Oh, great... Even those kids have better costumes than I do! Look at those realistic Yugopotamian costumes! [beat] Wait a minute... How can there be Yugopotamian costumes? We're the only ones on Earth who know they exist!
Mark: [offscreen] Vicky, I love you!
Timmy, Cosmo and Wanda: They're real!
Mark: Vicky! You must let me take you away from this horrible, doomed planet!
Timmy: Doomed? [sees the Gold and Silver Jack-o-bots flying through the sky] Oh, man! Not only are the rich kids linking up to blow up the world, they still have cooler costumes than me! I wish we were all back to normal!
Cosmo and Wanda: [raise a broom and a bed pan] Uh...
Timmy: Uh, what?
Wanda: Timmy, when you wished everyone's, costume was real and scary...
Cosmo: We became a real scary human monster janitor and nurse without magic powers!
Timmy: You mean you can't fix this? They're gonna blow up the earth! I've got to use every ounce of my awesome mummy powers to stop them! [falls apart] New plan. Cosmo, you have to stall Mark and keep him on this planet at all costs! Wanda, I need you to roll my head to the nearest costume store!
Cosmo: Hmm, I dunno, Timmy... All work orders must be submitted in writing.
Timmy and Wanda: Just go! [Cosmo gives Wanda the broom]
Timmy: Come on... Let's roll! [Wanda pushes his head with the broom] Ow! [transition to Mark]
Mark: Come, Vicky! Let us board my princely pod and blow this rock! [presses a key fob that opens his ship's door]
Cosmo: Uh, uh, uh! Hold it right there! I'm afraid I can't let you gentlemen leave just yet! I'm here to inspect your vehicle. But first, it's time for my break! [puts a pillow on the ship's gangway and sleeps on it. Fade to Wanda pushing Timmy's head down a street]
Timmy: Ow! Oh! Ah! Ow! Oh! [bumps into a wall] Ow! Ouch! [looking up] Hey! The Dimmsdale Costume Emporium! With all the amazing costumes here, I'm bound to find something that'll help us. [the Diamond and Ruby Jack-o-bots show up]
Wanda: It's the last two Jack-o-bots! [the Diamond one fires lasers at her and Timmy, and she runs to avoid them. The lasers leave holes in the store's facade, revealing a clearance bin inside the building] Look over there!
Timmy: The clearance bin! Bits and pieces of costumes that were left over!
Wanda: All that's left is bad vampire teeth, a Crimson Chin mask, a Crash Nebula boot, a fin from the creature of the lagoon, and a ballerina tu-tu! [she and Timmy hear Jack-o-bots flying]
Jack-o-bots: Jack-o-bots unite and form... [do so]
Pumpkinator: The Pumpkinator! Five minutes until pumpkination detonation!
Timmy: This might sound cliché, but you gotta throw my severed head into the clearance bin! [Wanda does so]
Wanda: But, Timmy, none of those costumes can stop a 30-foot-tall doomsday device!
Timmy: [offscreen] Alone, probably not... [a flash comes from the box] Together... [he has become a combination of the costume pieces] they probably can! [the tu-tu appears on him. Cut to the Pumpkinator] All right, Pumpkinator... Let's dance. [he twirls toward the Pumpkinator, which trips him and laughs] Activate rocket boosters! [rocket boosters on his boots shoot flames at the Pumpkinator, knocking it into a wall] Good thing I got the part of Crash Nebula that kicks butt! [the Pumpkinator uses a candle in its mouth to shoot flames at him and he avoids them by changing into a bat] Ha! You can't hit a guy with vampire powers! [flies away. The Pumpkinator flies after him and grabs him with mechanical tentacles. He changes back to how he was before and knocks it away with his chin. The Pumpkinator fires twelve candles at once] Pirouette! [he jumps out of the way of a beam that instead destroys Mark's ship]
Cosmo: [snores] Pickle. [snores] Monkey. [snores] Chicken. [snores] Taco. [snores. Cut to the warship]
Jipjorrulac: Mark! [starts crying]
Grippullon: I know, pudding'. I will mourn him for 9000 Yugopotamian days. [beat] and now I'm done. [to a guard] Unfreeze one of his clones. [cut to the Pumpkinator]
Pumpkinator: Three minutes and counting!
Timmy: You won't blow up the Earth if you're my undead slave! [he changes into a bat, goes behind the Pumpkinator and changes back. He tries to bite the Pumpkinator but one of his fangs falls out and lands on the ground]
Pumpkinator: One minute and counting. [in a deep voice] Commence pumpkination transformation! [the Pumpkinator transforms, planting itself in the ground and pinning Timmy] 59, 58, 57...
Timmy: He's gonna blow! Wanda! Help!
Wanda: But I'm not a fairy anymore! Without my fairy powers, I'm as useless as that tooth. Wait a minute... If you become whatever you're wearing... That's it! [zips over to Cosmo] Sweetie, [taking the pillow] wake up. [puts the pillow on the tooth. Wendall magically appears]
Wendall: Holy molar! I'm gonna have to give this kid more than a quarter! [he tries to lift the giant tooth and loses hold, losing his crown and wand]
Wanda: [catching the wand] Let me hold that for you. [catching the crown] And that. If you become whatever costume you're wearing... [puts on the crown and turns back to normal] Yes! [to Timmy] Make a wish! Make any wish!
Timmy: I don't want everything real and scary! I want Halloween the way it's supposed to be! Fake and safe! [she undoes his wish. He looks at himself and runs off. Cosmo turns back to normal]
Cosmo: I'm a fairy again! Ah, five more minutes. [goes back to sleep. The rich kids turn back to normal and fall to the ground. Their candy scatters]
Timmy: Wow. All my stuff!
Mark: My ship! It's, like, way trashed! And you! You're not some cool undead mummy head, you're that stupid Earth kid I keep running into every time I come here!
Timmy: Of course I'm not a mummy! It was a costume! For Halloween!
Mark: Wait... You mean this planet isn't arming itself for intergalactic war?
Timmy: No― Uh... Yes, it is!
[Cosmo and Wanda appear as cats, though there’s an animation error where Wanda has Cosmo’s color scheme and vise-versa]
Wanda: [as a cat] T-Timmy, what are you...
Timmy: Shh! I, Timmy Turner, supreme high supervisor, declare war between Earth and Yugopotamia! [Mark starts quickly slithering away]
Mark: [into a "wrist communicator"] Mother... uh... and Father! Activate the teleporters and launch the P-bomb!
Jipjorrulac: He's alive! [the warship beams up Mark and his friends]
Mark: Farewell, Vicky! I will never forget you!
Erik: Dude, we've already had her cloned. [a door opens, revealing a Vicky clone]
Mark: And thus, I move on! [offscreen] Launch the P-bomb! [the ship does so] Let's get outta here! [the ship flies away]
Wanda: Timmy! Make a wish! That thing could go at any minute!
Timmy: That's right! And remember... The Yugopotamians are idiots! They think good is bad, and ugly is pretty... And their ultimate weapon... is candy.
Wanda: The P is for piñata!
Cosmo: Oh! Phew! There goes my worst-case scenario! [the piñata catches fire and explodes. Kids catch the raining candy in bags. The rich kids cheer]
Vicky: [clutching her belly] I never wanna see another piece of candy again in my life. [candy piles on her and she screams] It burns!
Chester: It's raining candy!
AJ: And if my calculations are correct... I project we'll have an ample supply of candy for weeks!
All Kids: It's the greatest Halloween ever! [fade to a dentistry. Kids with cavities are lined up outside and inside. Bender is writing on a clipboard]
Chester: Ten cavities in two weeks! That's a personal best!
Timmy: Well, we might have rotted our teeth to the core, but in the end, we had fun, and that's what Halloween is all about.
AJ: Yeah! It rained candy! Which is meteorologically impossible!
Timmy, AJ and Chester: It was the greatest Halloween of our lives.
Bender: Here you go, children! Have some more sugar-coated, sugar-flavored pieces of sugar while you wait!
Timmy, AJ and Chester: Cool! [they start eating the sugar like pigs]
Cosmo: [reading a magazine] You can't spell Halloween without ow in the middle! [he bites a candy cane, making his teeth shatter] Ow! [iris out on him. A woman screams as the end title card is shown. Fade to black]
