Return of the L.O.S.E.R.S./Transcript

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The Fairly OddParents! episode transcript
"Return of the L.O.S.E.R.S."
Season	10
Episode	156B
Airdate	June 14, 2017
Transcript List

This article is a transcript of the Fairly OddParents episode "Return of the L.O.S.E.R.S." from Season 10, which aired on June 14, 2017.

Script

[Fade in on the Turners' house in the morning.]

Timmy: Ahh. Another awesome day where my fairies do absolutely everything for me! Cosmo! Wanda! Open my eyes! [the fairies magically do so. His eyes open.] Now dress me, please!

Cosmo: [dresses him like Little Bo-Peep.] Done! You're in a dress. You go, girl!

Wanda: Oh dear, I can't un-see that! [puts Timmy in his normal clothes and floats him to the floor.] Well, bye, sport! We're off to the Fairy World iWand store to line up for the new iWand.

Cosmo: We're getting awesome upgrades! Wish-autocorrect, faster Wand-Fi, and a Find-Your-Wand app! Which I need Because I lost my wand!

Wanda: It's in your hand!

Cosmo: Now, see, if I had the Find-Your-Wand app, I woulda known that!

Timmy: You can't go! In case you haven't noticed, I'm not great on my own. My eyes are dry, blink for me!

Wanda: Don't worry, sport. We asked Chloe to look after you while we're gone.

Cosmo: Yeah, we know you're basically a potato with a hat!

Chloe: [opens the door on the fairies] Chloe Carmichael, reporting for baby-sitting duty. So, where's the widdle cutie?

Timmy: Wanda, raise my hand! [she magically does so]

Chloe: I'm baby-sitting Timmy?

Timmy: I'm not used to doing things without my fairies. [falls into a waste bin.]

Chloe: Don't worry, Timmy. Wanda and Cosmo will be back soon. [beat] How soon?

Wanda: We'll be back by dark!

Timmy: I wish it was dark!

Cosmo: I'd grant that wish, but I lost my wand!

Wanda: It's in your hand! You're a potato with a wand. [poofs the two of them away.]

Timmy: Ahh, I'm helpless 'til dark!

Mr. Crocker: [in a bush outside.] Spending months in this thorn bush finally paid off! [removes a thorn from his neck.] My arch enemy, Timmy Turner, is defenseless! Time to alert the League of Super Evil Revenge Seekers! [into a tin can phone] Ring! Ring! [as a voice traveling through the phone line] Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring! [cut to the Death Ball. Flipsie flips and barks, and Dark Laser laughs and claps; through the phone] Ring! Ring! [half of the screen shows Dark Laser as the other half shows Crocker]

Dark Laser: [into the phone] Hello, Flipsie Fan Club, Dark Laser speaking.

Crocker: Dark Laser! Timmy Turner is vulnerable 'til dark!

Dark Laser: Ooo! I am so there! But first I have to walk Flipsie.

Crocker: Flipsie doesn't walk! It just flips! I hate Flipsie! See you in five at the Cake 'n Bacon. You're buying! [pushes Dark Laser's half of the screen away and falls backward] Gah! Thorns! In bad places! [cut to Anti-Fairy World; through the phone on Foop's high chair] Ring! Ring!

Foop: [into the phone] Hello?

Crocker: Foop! It's Turner time!

Foop: Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo! Goodie! But I'll be a minute. I'm in a time-out for putting spiders in my daddy's pis-ghetti.

Crocker: With my team of borderline lunatics, I'm invincible!

Mr. Turner: [approaching as Crocker hides in the bush] Time to trim the talking bush. [starts using a weed-whacker on the bush]

Crocker: [offscreen] Gah! Not invincible! [fade to the Cake and Bacon] The League of Super Evil Revenge Seekers, unite! Who are we?

Crocker, Foop, and Dark Laser: Losers!

Crocker: Today's a momentous day!

Foop: You bet it is! It's bottomless clam chowder day!

Crocker: That. And we're going to annihilate a ten-year-old!

Dark Laser: Just a heads-up, [holding up three teeth] I can only pay with the teeth of my enemies. It's legal tender in space.

Crocker: Teeth back in the wallet, nut job! We need a plan to destroy Turner!

Foop: Well, you know I have a thing for poisonous spiders. Listen up! [he whispers and everyone laughs]

Crocker: Oooo! You're one bad baby! Me likey!

Dark Laser: Flipsie has some questions. [Flipsie flips and barks]

Crocker: Flipsie has a C battery for a brain! [cut to the house]

Chloe: Did you dress yourself yet, Timmy? I know you can do it! [Timmy shows himself. He is wearing his pants like a hat, his hat on his ear, his shirt as pants, and his shoes on his hands]

Timmy: Nailed it!

Chloe: Ooo! That's super close! Remember the song we practiced? ♪ If you want to dress neat, you put your shoes on your... ♪

Timmy: ♪ Hands! ♪ [the doorbell rings. Chloe opens the front door, revealing the L.O.S.E.R.S. disguised as deliverymen]

Foop: [holding a bag] Spider delivery!

Crocker: Gah! You're not supposed to say "spider". [closes the door. The doorbell rings and Chloe opens the door]

Foop: Spider delivery!

Crocker: Gah! Switch it up! [closes the door]

Dark Laser: [holding the bag] Uhhhh... What's my line again? [Chloe opens the door, and his fake mustache falls off. Crocker sighs and closes the door. The doorbell rings and Chloe opens the door]

Crocker: [holding the bag] Pis-ghetti delivery! [Chloe glares at him; quietly] She's giving me a weird look. I knew we shoulda gone with pizza! Who orders pis-ghetti? [clears his throat] Anyway, here's your pis-ghetti! [Chloe takes the bag] Don't open it 'til we're far away!

Chloe: Uhhhh, thank you? [the door is closed; to Timmy] Wow. Were they losers or what?

Timmy: Yes! And they're my sworn enemies! Whatever's in that bag—it isn't pis-ghetti!

Chloe: Right you are! It's just a bag of deadly spiders. [looks at the spiders and tosses up the bag] Ah! Deadly spiders! [cut to the L.O.S.E.R.S. laughing in a bush]

Crocker: Quiet! Wait for the agonizing screams of terror... [the bag lands in the bush and spiders crawl onto the L.O.S.E.R.S. The three scream and zip away and the spiders follow them. Cut to outside the Fairy World iWand store]

Wanda: I can't wait for my upgrade. Steve Wandzniak is a genius. [beat] Oh! It's him! [Steve Wandzniak shows up in a big, tank-like vehicle]

Steve Wandzniak: Good news, fellow fairy nerds! Well, for me anyway. There's only two iWands left, [tossing them] you fight over them while I make my escape. [disappears]

Wanda: Everyone, stay calm... while we grab the last two wands! [she and Cosmo zip forward and get the wands and a group of fairies chases them. Cut to the house]

Chloe: Okay, champ! Let's try walking! It's easy, just put one foot in front of the other. [pretending to walk] Left, right, left, right.

Timmy: Got it! [hopping on his right foot] Left, left, left! [falls]

Chloe: Wow, really? No right, just the left and the left and the left? And I still have three hours 'til dark!

Foop: [floating outside the window] Oh, it's gonna get dark a lot sooner than that, little missy.

Dark Laser: Quiet! [drags Foop out of view] She'll hear us! [the doorbell rings. The L.O.S.E.R.S. are at the doorstep disguised as pizza deliverymen]

Crocker: Now watch how much better this scam works with pizza!

Chloe: Who is it? She said, already knowing who it was. [opens the door]

Crocker: Spider delivery! Gah! Now you've got me saying it! [closes the door]

Chloe: [groans] I'm surrounded by nincompoops!

Crocker: Pizza delivery! Nailed it!

Chloe: [using her phone to hypnotize the L.O.S.E.R.S.] You are getting verrrrrry sleepy. [the L.O.S.E.R.S. fall asleep]

Crocker: Mother, Mother... [the L.O.S.E.R.S. lean backward and tumble away]

Chloe: Man, I'm good! Then again, nincompoops! [closes the door. The L.O.S.E.R.S. are in a bush]

Mr. Turner: Time to wake up the snoring bush! [sprays the bush with a hose. The L.O.S.E.R.S. scream. Spiders crawl onto them and they scream more and zip away. Fade to the Crocker Cave. The L.O.S.E.R.S. have bites all over their bodies]

Crocker: [into a walkie-talkie] Mother! We're making a super evil plan, so we'll need snickerdoodles and juice boxes!

Dark Laser: You still live with your mother? That's weird. Flipsie and I went halfsies on a bachelor pad. Who's daddy's little wingman? Who... [laughing] Flips... Bachel...!

Foop: Goodie! I found a spot on my body where I wasn't bitten by a spider! [a spider bites his cheek and he shouts] Never mind.

Crocker: We only have an hour of daylight left to get Turner! Let's brainstorm a new plan!

Foop: I know! Prank phone calls! Really mean ones with cutting personal slights!

Crocker: Or we just have him move in with Mother! No human can survive that for long! Mother! Snickerdoodles!

Dark Laser: Well, we could use my death annihilator ray, or— Ooooo! We could ding-dong-ditch his house! You know, where you ring the doorbell and run away! [giggles]

Crocker: Whoa! Tap the breaks! You have a death annihilator ray? You couldn't have brought that up before the pizza fiasco?

Foop: Losers! We finally have a plan to annihilate Timmy Turner!

Mrs. Crocker: [offscreen] Snacky time! [brings the L.O.S.E.R.S. snickerdoodles]

Foop and Dark Laser: ♪ Hello, Mrs. Crocker! ♪

Mrs. Crocker: Hello, boys! Here are your snickerdoodles. Now get back to your evil.

Dark Laser: Killer doodles, [winks] Mrs. Crocker. [she blinks coyly at him]

Crocker: Hey, Laser! [pointing to his own face] Eyes up here! [cut to Timmy's room as the sun is setting. Timmy and Chloe are at a table]

Chloe: Okay, buddy. Which utensil do we eat our soup with? This is an easy one! [Timmy looks at a fork and spoon, picks up the fork, and tries to use it to drink soup] You bozo! It's the spoon! What are you? A single-cell organism? Open wide! Here comes the choo-choo train! [bringing a spoonful of soup to Timmy's mouth] Choo-choo! Choo-choo! [Timmy sees a big semicircular spacecraft show up outside]

Dark Laser: [on the spacecraft] ♪ Pizza delivery! ♪

Crocker: We're not doing that anymore! [Dark Laser laughs and fires the annihilator ray at Timmy. Chloe pushes Timmy out of the way and they scream]

Chloe: Run! [Timmy zips away]

Timmy: [hopping on his left foot] Left, left, left! [falls]

Chloe: Oh brother! [Timmy screams. She picks him up and runs off before Dark Laser fires again. She runs to the living room and dives behind the couch as another laser hits the wall beside her]

Wanda: So good to get out of that chaos and get back to the peace and quiet of home. [beat] Why's there a smoking hole in the wall?

Cosmo: Could be anything! Construction, big termites, annihilator ray... [Dark Laser fires and the fairies scream and disappear, then appear over Timmy and Chloe]

Timmy: The losers are after us and there was pizza with spiders and left, left, left is wrong!

Chloe: He can't eat soup by himself! [the L.O.S.E.R.S. approach the house]

Dark Laser: [to Crocker] This may be a bad time to bring this up, but is your mother... seeing anyone?

Crocker: Gah! What is wrong with you?! Besides everything!

Cosmo: No worries, Timmy. We'll just poof them away with our upgraded iWands! The software upload should only take a minute. [tapping his iWand] Unless there's a glitch. [the wand's screen displays "Glitch!"] There's a glitch.

Wanda: [putting an earbud connected to her iWand in her ear] I'll call tech support! [she and Cosmo tap their wands. Lasers hit the wall] I'm on hold!

Cosmo: OK, it's all good! I just need a password. Let's see... Cosmo? No, I'll never remember that!

Wanda: Just do it!

Cosmo: Just... do it. [tapping his wand] Ooo, fun password! Oh, it's taken. Glitched again.

Dark Laser: [kicks the door in] Your time on this earth is done, Timmy Turner! Did that sound scary? [as Foop and Crocker give him thumbs-ups] I-I-I wanted to sound scary. [disguised as a pizza deliveryman, Chloe sets up a door in front of the L.O.S.E.R.S.]

Chloe: [knocking on the door] Pizza delivery! [Foop opens the door and she gives him a pizza box]

Foop: I'm feeling peckish! [Crocker opens the box. The spiders inside crawl onto the L.O.S.E.R.S., who scream]

Cosmo: I can grant a wish in ten seconds. I'm just downloading my pictures! Oh, look, Wanda! It's us at that luau! You look hot! Seriously, you were sweating like a pig! [Dark Laser fires and Timmy screams. Chloe dives away as the laser hits and makes a cloud of smoke. The smoke clears up, revealing Timmy lying on the ground. Chloe and the fairies scream]

L.O.S.E.R.S.: Yeah!

Crocker: We annihilated Turner! We did it! [to Dark Laser] Well, you did it! That's my story and I'm stickin' to it!

Foop: So, that's our story? We blame him?

Dark Laser: Wait, what? It wasn't me! It... it was Flipsie! Sorry, Flipsie! Daddy's too pretty for jail. [giggles; putting Flipsie on the floor] I'll call you, baby. [the L.O.S.E.R.S. run away hollering]

Chloe: Oh Timmy. I'm sorry I called you a bozo, but you kind of were a little bit.

Cosmo: I will avenge you—right after I watch cat videos on my new iWand.

Wanda: [sobs] I miss my little potato with a hat.

Timmy: I'm okay! They missed me! I played dead Cause lying on my back with my eyes closed is what I do best!

Cosmo: [as Wanda and Chloe cheer] All right! My new iWand is ready! I'm gonna poof us up a big celebration party. [his wand glows, then explodes and fills the room with smoke] Wanda, call tech support. [fade to outside the Crockers' house]

Mrs. Crocker: [offscreen] I'm going out for the evening. [goes outside] Don't wait up, Denzel. [the spacecraft picks her up with a tractor beam]

Crocker: [offscreen] Gah! What is wrong with you?!

Dark Laser: [laughs offscreen] Snickerdoodle. [iris out. The end title card is shown. Fade to black]

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