Mr. Turner: Driving home from my boring job, in my boring car, past boring scenery and the giant boring lizard eating a boring bus. [at home] What's for boring dinner?
Mrs. Turner: Boring roast boar. [places the boar on the table]
Timmy: Well, I'm not bored, I'm starved.
Boar: Uh, you guys are boring. [jumps out the window]
[Timmy's stomach growls and Timmy puts hands on his stomach}
Timmy: Man I need food. [looks to his parents] And you two need some excitment in your lives!

[after Wanda advises him to not eat the subamrine sandwich]
Cosmo:Oh Wanda, you always know what's best for me, if only I'd listen. [goes to eat the sub sandwich anyway]

Timmy: [sees Cosmo sleep-floating] Oh no, Cosmo! Uh, Mom, Dad, I can explain!
Both: [while seeing Cosmo in a blanket in his head]: Aaaaaaaaaugh!
Mr. Turner: It's a ghost, with a periscope in its ear!
Timmy: A ghost? Okay, let's go with that. [to his parents] But don't worry, I bet his ghost wife is coming to drag him back to the fishbowl, I mean, back to the underwater realm of the undead!
Wanda: [comes and drags Cosmo back] Oh, sorry, I told this idiot ghost not to eat that sandwich.

Chet Ubetcha: Tell us, Polter-geeks, have you ever caught a real ghost?
Mrs. Turner: Not technically. You see, we find a house we think is haunted then we just blow it up!
Mr. Turner: After all, you can't have a haunted house if you don't have a house!

Timmy: Chet Ubetcha ran you out of town?
Mr. Turner: Well, across town. We moved from one side of Dimmsdale to the other. We even had to change our names. I used to be called Mom!
Mrs. Turner: And I used to be called Barnaby!

[after Wanda turns Cosmo into a ghost]
Cosmo: Ahhh! Where are my feet?! How am I gonna finish my toe lint sculpture?

Cosmo: Whooo, we are about to get sucked into a trap, with great drama and ghostly noises, whoooooo~

Mrs. Turner: Should we look for ghosts in Mr. Crocker's house?
Timmy: Nah, just blow it up.
Mr. Turner: Yay!

Timmy: Woo hoo!
Mr. Turner: Woo hoo is right. Barnaby and I have never been less bored.
Mrs. Turner: Or more rich!
Mr. Turner: [walks to the window] Now I can throw money at all my problems! [throws some money at Dinkleberg]
Dinkleberg: Thanks Turner!
Mr. Turner: Grrrrrr, Dinkleberg.

Cosmo: Look, I'm a Californian ghost! [in a spooky voice] Duuuuuude~ [sniffs Timmy] peanut butter and cash! My two favorite things!

Wanda: [to Timmy] Whoooooo- [pauses and sniffs] Hey are you wearing peanut butter and money?

[right before placing Cosmo and Wanda in the "Ghost" Chipper]
Mr. Turner: Now, to chip 'em up and sell them as haunted lawn mulch!

Poof: Eghh! Mommy! Daddy!

Mrs. Turner: So boring in the hospital.
Mr. Turner: And expensive! [while a doctor wheels away a wheelbarrow of money]

Mrs. Turner: Oh look, a spaceman!
Mr. Turner: Time to restart our other business, hunting aliens!
Mrs. Turner: Should we catch it?
Mr. Turner: No, let's blow it up!
Cosmo: Ahhhhhhh! [flies out the window while dodging Mr. Turner's blasts] Why can't they just throw money at me?

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