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The Fairly OddParents!
episode transcript
"Party of Three!"
Season №: 0
Airdate: January 2, 1999
Transcript List

This article is a transcript of the The Fairly OddParents! episode, "Party of Three!" from Season 0, which aired on January 2, 1999.


Script[]

[The episode opens with an establishing shot of the Turner Residence in the evening.]

  • Timmy: (off-screen; the scene zooms in.] Oh! [The scene dissolves into Mr. and Mrs. Turner's room, where Timmy is leaning against their bed with his arms crossed. He's next to Mrs. Turner's high heels, one of which is standing and the other of which is on its side.] Are you guys going out again?
  • Mrs. Turner: (while panning out to show Mrs. Turner's legs) We have to, dear. [The scene cuts to show Mrs. Turner's midsection. She is spraying a purple bottle of perfume on her neck.] Your father's receiving that big award, remember?

[Mrs. Turner sprays the perfume under her arms. The scene cuts to show the top of Mr. Turner's head, with his arm above him holding a green and blue bottle.]

  • Mr. Turner: (while pouring liquid from the bottle on his hair) That's right, son. I was voted (while rubbing the liquid into his hair with a rag) shiniest hair in the office. [He removes the rag and his hair shines.] Besides, [The scene cuts to show Timmy next to the bed. Mr. Turner's legs approach Timmy.] your favorite babysitter will be here.
  • Timmy: Yeah? Who's that?

[The scene zooms into just show Timmy.]

  • Mr. Turner: (off-screen) Vicky.

[Timmy screams as railroad warning sounds are heard. He runs away, leaving a cloud of dust behind him. The scene cuts to the hallway, where Timmy runs into his room, closing the door while entering. The scene cuts to the interior of Timmy's room, where he quickly boards up his door with five boards, each with two nails on either side of them. He then throws the hammer and catches his breath.]

  • Timmy: Hello? [Timmy starts walking.] (while passing a dark room) Anybody here?

[Cosmo and Wanda's eyes and smiles poke through. The scene cuts to Timmy next to his bed.]

  • Timmy: (while looking under his bed) Hello?
  • Cosmo and Wanda: (while entering the scene) Hey, Timmy!

[Timmy jumps up in surprise and hangs from his ceiling light.]

  • Cosmo: (while flying to Timmy) I'm Cosmo!
  • Wanda: (while flying to Timmy) I'm Wanda!
  • Cosmo and Wanda: (while flying near Timmy's window) And we're...
  • [A fanfare sounds as "FAIRY GODPARENTS" appears in a yellow 3D font with blue sides on a pink background with darker pink action lines leading from the words to the side of the screen.]
  • Cosmo and Wanda: ...your fairy godparents!
  • ["FAIRY" falls and squashes Cosmo. Wanda looks over at him before she continues to smile nervously.]
  • Timmy: Do you two have to do that every time you appear?
  • Wanda: Let's see what the [Wanda uses her wand to summon Da Rules.] rule book says. Hmm, it says here it's optional.
  • Cosmo and Wanda: So yes, as a matter of fact we do!

[Cosmo and Wanda laugh. Timmy falls from his lamp onto his bed in a sitting position.]

  • Timmy: Well, I better brace myself for another miserable evening.
  • [Timmy floats up to Wanda, who is now over his bed and raising Timmy with her wand.]
  • Wanda: What's the matter, slugger?
  • Cosmo: Is your dad putting that stuff on his hair again?

[Cosmo uses his wand to summon a volleyball net.]

  • Timmy: (while getting hit over the net by Wanda using her wand) No, Vicky's coming over.
  • Cosmo: Well, you seem a bit old to still need a babysitter.

[Cosmo uses his wand to hit Timmy back to Wanda.]

  • Wanda: Just tell your folks that you are a mature young man...

[Wanda hits Timmy back to Cosmo.]

  • Cosmo: ...And should be given the chance to spend a few hours on your own!

[Cosmo flies backward and hits Timmy back to Wanda. However, he stops partway over the net, floating in mid-air.]

  • Timmy: Yeah! That might just work! After all, they trust me!
  • [Timmy looks down and falls to the ground. Cosmo and Wanda fly to wear Timmy was and look down. They then look at each other with hearts floating around them.]
  • Cosmo: Forty-love.

[Cosmo and Wanda laugh. The scene fades to the Turner House living room, where the shot shows three books of emergency phone numbers, two bottles, and four cans.]

  • Mr. Turner: (off-screen) Emergency rations, emergency phone numbers, [The scene shifts to show a close first aid kit next to an outlet.] first aid kit, [The scene shifts to show a closed second aid kit, which is larger than the first aid kit and has bandages on the ground.] second aid kit, [The scene shifts to show an open third aid kit, which is larger than the second aid kit. It has an oxygen mask, IV with blood, a heart monitor, crutch, and hose. Outside of the kit, there's a bedpan.] third aid kit, [The scene shifts to show a box of flares.] emergency flares, [The scene cuts to show Mr. Turner, Timmy holding his fishbowl with Cosmo and Wanda in goldfish form inside, and a satellite link up] and an emergency satellite link up to the Pentagon.
  • Mrs. Turner: (while walking up to Mr. Turner] Are you sure you're going to be, okay?
  • Timmy: (while turning to face his parents, causing some of the water in the bowl to splash out) Of course, mom, don't worry! You guys are only a phone call away.
  • Mrs. Turner: (crying) Oh, our little boy is growing up!
  • Mr. Turner: (hugging his wife, while getting choked up) Oh there there, honey. We can always have another one.
  • [the doorbell rings and Vicky opens the door with yellow star pupils.]
  • Vicky: Hello, here I am! Ready for work! Where is the little darling? [She runs over to Timmy and picks him up, now without the stars in her eyes] I missed you! (while repeatedly slamming Timmy into her chest) We're... going... to... have... a... great... evening!

[Vicky hugs Timmy tight, choking him.]

  • Mr. Turner: Vicky, we're not going to need you tonight after all. Timmy's staying [Timmy's face turns blue.] by himself.

[Vicky drops Timmy. She then gets angry, clenching her fists. A blue background appears with action lines coming from her and going to the edges of the screen.]

  • 'Vicky: What?! [She raises her arms.] Vicky, Are you kidding?! [The scene cuts to show the living room. Vicky still has her arms in the air and Timmy is rocking back and forth.] The twerp [She drops her arms down, making her left hand a fist, while pointing to Timmy with her right hand.] couldn't do anything [Vicky turns to look at Timmy, raising her left arm.] by himself if he... [She drops her arms.] uh... [Her pupils turn into glowing yellow stars and a glowing yellow halo appears over her head, while a pink background with purple action lines appears.) Of course! You're right, Mr. Turner! [The scene cuts to show Timmy, still rocking back and forth.] Timmy's perfectly capable of staying [Vicky pats Timmy's head, while his normal coloration returns. on his own. [She pats Timmy's head again. He falls backward.] (while exiting the house) I'd better run along now and see if there's any needy people in the area that require my services. Ta-ta!

[Vicky closes the door and gets an angry look. The scene fades to the exterior of the Turner House. Timmy is on his doorstep, holding the fishbowl with Cosmo and Wanda in goldfish form. He is waving at his parents. The silhouettes of Mr. and Mrs. Turner appear in their car, with Mr. Turner in the driver's seat and Mrs. Turner in the front passenger seat.]

  • Mrs. Turner: Bye, Timmy! We'll be at the [The scene shifts to show more of the car. Mrs. Turner is waving back at Timmy.] banquet hall!

[The scene cuts to a tree nearby.]

  • Timmy: (off-screen) Ok, [Vicky appears from behind the tree.] mom!
  • Vicky: (while writing in a notebook with a pencil) Banquet... hall...

[The scene cuts to the living room, where Timmy closes the door. The car is heard driving away. Timmy and Cosmo and Wanda look at each other, knowingly.

  • Cosmo, Wanda, and Timmy: (while Cosmo and Wanda return to their fairy form) Party time!

[Timmy appears on a yellow background with gold action lines.]

  • Timmy: First, we'll need some candy!
  • [Cosmo and Wanda point their glowing wands forward. A large bar of Gushy's Chocolate appears in front of the couch.]
  • Wanda: (with her wand glowing) And some soda!
  • [Wanda waves her wand forward. A pink soda fountain appears and stars pouring out grape soda. Cosmo and Wanda appear floating on either side of Timmy.]
  • Cosmo: Don't forget the pizza!

[Cosmo and Wanda raise their glowing wands. A large pepperoni pizza falls on top of the three.]

  • Wanda: (while teleporting to the front door) And no party would be complete without its very own...

[Wanda's wand glows and so does the front door. The front door opens, and Cosmo appears holding maracas.]

  • Cosmo: Conga line! (while shaking maracas and leading a line of people in a conga) (singing) Ooh-ooh-ah-ah-ooh-ah-a-ooh-ooh-ah-ah-ooh-ah.

[The scene cuts to show Vicky climbing onto a tree branch, holding a pair of binoculars.]

  • Vicky: If that little runt thinks he's going to cheat me out of a night's pay, he's got another [She lifts the binoculars to her eyes.] thing coming. [Through the binoculars, Timmy appears in the conga line.] (off-screen) What the heck is going on down there? [The scene cuts back to Vicky.] Well, he's not going to get away with this!

[Vicky lifts up a purple cellphone with light green buttons. She dials a number into the phone. The scene cuts to the banquet hall. The backs of Mr. and Mrs. Turner appear sitting at a table in front of the stage, where the award host is at the podium, holding the award for the freshest breath. Above him, there is banner that reads, "OFFICE AWARDS".]

  • Award Host: (while Mr. Turner's phone is ringing) And the award for the freshest breath goes to...

[Mr. Turner answers his cellphone.]

  • Mr. Turner: Hello?
  • Vicky: (through the cellphone) Mr. Turner, this is Vicky. [The scene cuts back to Vicky.] You'd better come home right away, I think there's a problem with Timmy. He's—

[Vicky is cut-off by the sound of Mr. and Mrs. Turner's car pulling up. The car appears in the driveway with dust dissipating. The scene cuts back to Vicky.]

  • Vicky: Hm, speedy!

[Vicky runs to the doorstep.]

  • Mr. Turner: (while quickly walking to the front door.) Vicky, what's the matter?

[The scene cuts to the living room.]

  • Vicky: (while opening the door) I think you should see for yourself.

[She looks forward and is shocked. The scene cuts to show Timmy wearing a robe and an ascot, sitting in a purple reading chair and reading a book titled, "SHAKESPEARE". Next to him, Cosmo and Wanda in their goldfish form appear in their fishbowl on a side table, next to a lit candle. The chair is in front of a lit fireplace. Timmy looks at Mr. Turner, Mrs. Turner, and Vicky.]

  • Timmy: Good evening mater, pater! How art thou?

[Mr. Turner walks up to Timmy.]

  • Mr. Turner: Well, I see what the problem is, Vicky. Timmy, this light is far too dim to be reading in. You'll hurt your eyes, son.

[Timmy smiles toward Cosmo and Wanda and they smile back. Vicky walks up to Mr. Turner.]

  • Vicky: But... but there was music and... and dancing and... revelry!
  • Mr. Turner: Vicky, looks like you have an (while tapping her head) over-active imagination. (while leaving the house, linking arms with Mrs. Turner) Honey, we'd better be getting back to the banquet.

[Vicky looks around in shock before leaving after them. Cosmo and Wanda transform back into their fairy forms once they are gone.]

  • Cosmo: Ok, now what, Timmy?
  • Timmy: Well...

[The scene cuts to the front porch. Mr. and Mrs. Turner walk out of the house. Vicky runs after them, closing the door behind her.]

  • Vicky: But... but-uh... but...

[Mr. and Mrs. Turner's car doors are heard closing. They are then heard driving away. Vicky angrily clenches her fists. She runs to the window. When she looks in. She is shocked. Timmy appears driving a Jeep-like vehicle in mud, wearing a racing outfit.]

  • Timmy: Woohoo, yeah, woah! Cool!
  • Vicky: (while turning toward the audience) This is impossible!

[Vicky gets covered in mud. She turns toward the window again and shakes off the mud. She is then shocked again. Timmy appears on a rollercoaster.]

  • Timmy: Yeah! Yippee! Woohoo! Warp speed, Mr. Sulu!
  • Vicky: I'll show him! [Vicky grabs a yellow and orange polaroid camera. She takes a picture of Timmy, which instantly prints.] Ha! Proof! [She slinks down, laughs, and dials a number on her cellphone.] Mr. Turner, it's Vicky. I think there's a problem with Timmy. You'd better get home right... [She is cut-off by the sound of the car arriving in the driveway. It appears and so do Mr. and Mrs. Turner's silhouettes] ...away? Hm, nice car.

[Vicky runs to the front porch.]

  • Mr. Turner: (while he and Mrs. Turner walk up to Vicky) Vicky, what's wrong this time?
  • Vicky: Feast your eyes on this! [She holds up the picture of Timmy on a roller coaster. The scene cuts to Cosmo and Wanda, who spin the heads of their wands around. "DoiNk!" appears in green letters over the photo and a while and yellow effect, which changes the photo into one of Mr. Turner's legs in green underwear with shamrocks on it.]
  • Mrs. Turner: Why, that's you dear! But those are the briefs I got you for St. Patrick's Day!
  • Mr. Turner: (while he and Mrs. Turner laugh) So they are! [He clears his throat and turns toward Vicky.] What's the meaning of this, young lady?

[Vicky looks at the photo, shocked.]

  • Vicky: But... but... but...

[Mr. Turner points to the photo.]

  • Mr. Turner: Yes, that's my tush, now explain!

[Mrs. Turner appears holding the doorknob.]

  • Mrs. Turner: I'll just (while opening the door) check on Timmy. [She enters the house. The scene cuts to the living room.] Well, here's Timmy! [The scene cuts to show Timmy crossing his legs and holding his index fingers and thumbs, with his eyes closed, floating above a yoga mat. Cosmo and Wanda in their fish form in their fishbowl, floating above the floor. In front of them, there are six lit red candles. Next to the fishbowl, there is a lit incense burner. Scattered on the floor, there are pink, white, and yellow flowers. On the wall, there is a yin-yang poster, but the yin is yellow, and the yang is orange.] (while he and Mr. Turner walk up to him) He's just practicing his transcendental meditation.
  • Mr. Turner: Atta boy, just like (while patting Timmy's head) his old man!
  • Vicky: But he... he's...
  • Mr. Turner: He's fine. In fact, Vicky, I think we'll have little need of your services in the future. Timmy seems perfectly capable of taking care of himself.

[Timmy winks to Cosmo and Wanda. Vicky gasps.]

  • Vicky: You mean I'm... I'm...
  • Timmy: (while appearing on a yellow background with golden action lines) Fired!

[Cosmo and Wanda laugh together as Vicky walks away defeated.]

  • Timmy: (while hugging Mrs. Turner's legs with pepperoni stuck in his teeth) Thanks, mom! I had a great time staying by myself!

[Mrs. Turner gasps.]

  • Mrs. Turner: Timmy! What's that in your teeth?

[Cosmo and Wanda stop laughing and gasp.]

  • Timmy: Gee, mom, I don't know.
  • Mr. Turner: I'll tell you what it is! (while pointing at Timmy) It's poor dental hygiene, is what it is! If you can't take proper care of your tooth, young man, [The scene cuts to show Vicky walking to the door defeated.] then maybe you aren't mature enough to stay [Vicky stops and gives a small smile.] by yourself after all.

[Vicky evilly smiles and looks back at the Turners. She runs back to them.]

  • Timmy: But... but...
  • Mr. Turner: What is this fascination with my fanny?

[Vicky runs into the scene and stops between Mr. Turner, who she's looking at, and Timmy.]

  • Vicky: Mr. Turner, allow me to instruct him in the proper methods of cavity prevention.

[Vicky pulls out a giant engine-powered toothbrush] ↵[Cosmo and Wanda gasp. The background of this shot is light green with green action lines.]

  • Mr. Turner (off-screen) Thanks, Vicky. I don't know what we'd do (while Vicky holds up Timmy by the arm) without you.
  • Vicky: My pleasure. [Vicky walks away, still holding Timmy.] (while dragging Timmy by the arm) I won't rest until every tooth in this house is spotless! [Vicky stops and crouches down to Timmy.] That could take years.

[Vicky laughs menacingly. Cosmo and Wanda look at each other and pull out their toothbrushes, with Cosmo's being green and Wanda's being pink, and they brush their teeth as the episode irises to black.]


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