|The Fairly OddParents episode transcript|
|"New Squid In Town!"|
|Airdate:||November 27, 2004|
( The episode starts with a board in front of The First Church of Yugopotamia (an extra-terrestrial planet) about the wedding between Mark Chang and Princess Mandie. Guest are walking into the church to attend the ceremony)
- Queen Jipjorrulac: Oh, I am so excited for Mark, (scene cuts to the Father of the church and the nervous and worried Mark, then back to his mom) our little boy is finally being FORCIBLY wed to a warrior princess from the planet Boudacia! Ah! I'm so happy! (screaming out loud suddenly and scared King Gripullon, father of groom, sitting beside.)
- King Gripullon: There, there, my Queen. I too am excited.
(The scene cuts to the Princess who is in a bridal dress, holding a bouquet and standing at the church's door, then she walks in and the wedding music starts playing.)
- King Gripullon: '(grimace) I just wish Mark's new bride wasn't so hideous to look at... (changes happy face) Good thing we brought bags! (Showing 3 shopping bags.)
- Father of Chruch: It is now time to forcibly bond the Boudacian princess Mandie to the Yugopotamian prince Mark Chang. (Mark rushes out of the church) And... has anybody seen the prince?
(Mark dashes out from side door, rushing to his vehicle)
- Mark Chang: (Shouting) Ah~!! Way uncool! I will like totally not do this!
(He unlocks his vehicle by remote control and rushes into his vehicle as soon as the door opens. After the door closes, he flies off quickly.)
- Mark Chang: Later, dudes. ( The Just Married banner on his vehicles drops in front of Mark's parents)
(Princess Mandie wells up tears in her eyes and cries.)
- Queen Jipjorullac: I..I'm sure he is just flying off in light speed to get some, um.. sodas.
- King Gripullon: Or not marrying you. I'm sure everything will be just fine, Princess Mandie.
(Princess suddenly shows her violent side)
- Princess Mandie: (Shouting) Is Man-DIE! (Her eyes turns red, then brandishing her flaming sword) And nobody leaves me at the altar! NOBODY!!
- King Gripullon: Hmm.. Well, it's certainly that she's more attractive. (grinning)
(Princess grabs King and threatens him)
- Princess Mandie: Now, where is he ?!! (Her voice echoes in the universe)
(Meanwhile, on Earth, scene cuts to Timmy's class.)
- Denzel Crocker: (Touching the globe in front of him on the table) Earth! Which I will one day rule. Now, please turn to page 75 of ther new Crocker Takes Over The World book.
(Every student in the class flips the pages reluctantly and shows bored face, only Timmy doesn't open the book)
- Timmy: Ugh! This is gonna be the most boring day of class ever. (Talking to Cosmo and Wanda (as drawing) on Timmy's table.)
(Suddenly, a UFO breaks open the classroom's ceiling and land beside Timmy. Mark quickly rushes out and says to Timmy.)
- Mark: (Screaming and looking left and right for Timmy) Turner! Chocolate-eating warrior on the planet Earth! I mean.. (Both Mark and Timmy stop and look at the class. The students scream in horror and almost run away)
- Timmy: I wish every human in this room would freeze!
- Crocker: (Feeling excited and point a finger towards Mark and Timmy) Incredible! The actual ali... (Not finishing due to being frozen)
(Cosmo and Wanda on the paper poof and everyone, except Timmy and Mark, is frozen in ice.)
- Timmy: Dude! What's the matter with you? You are an alien. You just can't bust into my classroom like this.
- Mark: I know. It took me four tries. (Looking out the window, showing a damaged playground. Principal walks near out of curiosity and falls into a big hole.)
- Mark: (Pulling down the blind) Dude, you gotta hide me before she finds me! I cannot let her like, find me! (runs away)
- Timmy: Hide you. From who? Principal Waxelplax?
- Mark: No. Some girl my parents want me to marry. (Walking towards Timmy while Timmy rushes back from him and stops) Please let me stay on Earth with you. I can blend right in! (Taking a cap and a pair of spectacles from 2 frozen students and put on) Yeah, look! Look! I'm a normal earth child. Do not be fooled by the extra tentacles!
- Wanda : (Angrily)You are not fooling anybody! Only a complete moron would believe that silly disguise!
- Cosmo: (Happily)Hey, Timmy! Who is the new normal earth child? He like totally blend in!
- Timmy: Alright, alright! You can stay for a while. But you gotta make yourself look more human. Don't you have some sort of weird alien device that will let you do that.?
- Mark: (Suddenly realised) Right! Duh~ I'm like so totally wearing one. (Turning the 'wheel' on his belt and it stops at Cactus", the Mark changes into a cactus. He turns the 'wheel' again and again until the option given is 'Dreamy Earth Boy', by then, he turns into a boy.)
(Timmy the help Mark to remove the spectacles.)( Cosmo and Wanda poof a mirror for Mark.)
- Mark: Radical!
- Timmy: Cool! Now what we gotta do is to hide him until he figures out what to do with him.
- Wanda: You wanna us to freeze everybody?
- Timmy: Not just yet... (Timmy looks wickedly from the corners of his eyes at the frozen Crocker.)
(Scene cuts to Principle, with dirt patches on her clothes, walks into the girl's toilet.)
- Principal Waxelplax: (Complaining) Horrible holes!
(Meanwhile, in the toilet after she walks in, she saw a frozen Crocker pointing [the posture before he was frozen] at her, he is poof-ed to active.)
- Crocker: Aliens! (shocks the principal) Aliens from outer space! (feeling something wrong) I mean...(nervous) have you lost weight?
- Principal: Crocker! (Turns back, pulls a hand dryer off the wall and hit it onto Crocker. The scene follows by Crocker's moan)
(Meanwhile, in the canteen, Mark, disguised as an earth kid, is searching for food in a trashcan with flies flying over it)
- Mark: Man, this stuff is horrid.
- Timmy: Dude, if you are gonna blend in, you gotta eat what earth kids eat---- school food.
- Mark: (Partly whispering) Wait, government food... (Pushing trashcan away) (Shouting) OH!! There is no end to your delicacies! (Follows Timmy off-screen)
(The scene then cuts and shows Chester's head in the trashcan)
- Chester: Man, this stuff is awesome!
- Wanda (as milk box on Timmy's tray): This feels like a bad idea, Timmy. You should send Mark back home.
- Timmy: I can't send him back to his home planet to be killed.
- Cosmo (as milk box too): Or worse, married!
- Timmy: He trusts me. And he totally blends in!
(Scene cuts to Mark seeing a chocolate cake piece of others)
- Mark: Cool! It's brown! That must be gross. (Then he grabs the whole piece of cake and eats it. But, he changes into its original configuration due to his feeling towards chocolate and spits out) Ah~~!! The dreaded chocolate! That shorted out my Fake-i-fier! ( The students around scream and run )
- Timmy: Wow, is it time for him to leave already?
(Scene cuts to the spaceship of the Princess breaking the canteen ceiling and landing in the canteen, scaring everybody. The Princess walks out, holding her flaming sword)
- Princess: You! Prepare to accept wedded bless, (Jumping to the front of Mark) OR EAT HOT PLASMA!!!
- Mark: NOO!! My untimely death has like, untimely come!
- Crocker: (Suddenly jumps out and points to Mark and Princess excitedly) Alien!
- Timmy: I wish everyone would freeze!
(Poof! Everyone's frozen, except Cosmo, Wanda and Timmy)
- Timmy: Oh man, I can't let him get wasted like that.
- Cosmo: Or get married!
- Wanda: We should poof him someplace else and unfreeze everybody.
- Timmy: Not everybody. (Looking at excited yet frozen Crocker)
(Scene cuts to sleeping and blindfolded Principal in her house and the frozen Crocker beside her.)
- Timmy: (Standing by the opened window with Cosmo and Wanda) Now.
(Crocker is unfrozen)
- Crocker: Alien! (less excited and more nervous than before [seeing the principal])
- Principal: (Removes the blindfold) Ahh!!!
- Crocker: Ahh!!!
- Principal: Grr...!!! (Grabs the hand dryer beside her off the wall and hits hard on Crocker.)
(Meanwhile, at Dimmsdale Dimmadump, looking at a new spaceship)
- Mark: (Chuckles)I cannot believe you found me some property in the best neighborhood in Dimmsdale! What a hot crib!
- Timmy: I'd thought you'd dig it.
- Mark: (sitting in a dump toilet bowl at the top of a trash mountain) Mandie will never find me, here.
- Cosmo: I don't get it. If you are not married to her, why is she trying to kill you?
- Wanda: And why were you supposed to marry her in the first place?
- Mark: Ok, I'm a prince! And she is a princess! Were we to marry, our planets align to be like, the most fearsome in the universe, and like, team up to destroy the Earth. But I cannot marry her, for I do not love her. I mean, how could I? She's hideous!
(Cosmo Looking at Princess' photo and is about to lose control. Wanda then writes and hands him a note)
- Wanda: Say it!
- Cosmo: (reading unwillingly) Wow, she sure is hideous. I sure will hate having to spend time with her. (Then Wanda and he hold hands)
- Timmy: Well, looks like you are all set!
- Mark: Yeah! To show you my gratitude, I shall struggle through the thank you that you earthlings call (clear throat) a hug. (Opens his hands reluctantly)
- Timmy: No, seriously, dude! It's ok.
(Mark still takes the move to hug Timmy, unfortunately, this causes him to change back to its original configuration at last)
- Mark: Oops. Even the slightest matter of earthly shorts it out (points to his Fake-i-fier). Good thing it's just us here.
(Suddenly, the Princess in her spaceship attacks from behind and everyone is separated. The spaceship then lands in Dimmadump)
- Princess: (Walks out and stands in front of Cosmo, Wanda, Timmy and Mark with her flaming sword, then she puts on her magic spectacles scanning everyone around) (At Cosmo and Wanda)Since you two are the most powerful, I'm taking you out first!
- Cosmo: (Optimistically) Taking me out? Neat! ( Wanda hands him a note again and he reads it unwillingly) I mean, I can't do that, I'm married.
- Wanda: (nervously) Cosmo, do something!
- Cosmo: (still in the mood) I can't, I'm married...
(Princess fires her plasma towards Cosmo and Wanda and they are made solid as both of them fall into a container with liquid cement, with funny emotions and shapes.)
- Timmy: (Shouting loudly) Run !!!
(Timmy and Mark get in Mark's spaceship and Mark does the control. Then, the spaceship instantly flies off.)
- Princess: Mark! (Activate her shoe rockets and levitates) Come back and be mine! (Sees Mark's spaceship flies off-screen) THEN DIE!!
(She starts firing her plasma while Timmy springs into action --- attacking, but failed, destroying an ice cream shop, video games shop and comic books store while skipping the Girly Things shop in the process)
- Timmy: Ahh~~!!! What do we do? What do we do? What do we do?
- Mark: She is too fast!! The only way to get her off my trail is to get her to like, marry someone else!
- Timmy: (Suddenly realises something) Someone else...
(Scene cuts to Crocker's house)
- Crocker: Goodbye, mother! I'm out to have fairies, disguised as aliens! (Holding a catching net) (Upon seeing a belt with a tag saying ACME FAIRY HUNTING BELT,) Hey! Neat! A fairy hunting belt! Thank you Santa (then he puts on)!!
(Crocker changes into Mark's lookalike and the Princess arrives)
- Princess: Now, marry me, OR DIE!!
(Crocker is captured by the Princess back to the planet. Meanwhile, Croker's mom puts up a board in front of her house saying ROOM FOR RENT)
- Timmy: Well, that solved both of our problems for now. But listen to me, if you're gonna hide out here on Earth, you're gonna have to be a lot more conspicuous, and cause a lot less trouble.
- Mark: No problem, brah. You won't even know I'm here.
- Chester: Hey, the new kid is totally hogging all the action.
- Mark: Do not attempt to kiss me. Even the slightest affection is most lethal.
- Girl: The more he rejects us, the dreamier he gets! (a few other girls fainted)
- Timmy: He's okay once you get to know him.
- Chester: OK, but if he eats out of my garbage can again, he's going down!
- Mr. Bickles: (Enters room) Well students, since Mr. Crocker is out today, I'll be getting a chance to live out my new dream of being a substitute teacher. And today, we're going to talk about, art. Timmy, did you bring a piece of art?
- Timmy: I call it, Idiots In Love. (pulls out the cement slab in which Cosmo and Wanda were trapped in)
- Mr. Bickles: (Gasps) Fantastic! Can you sense the love between these two?
(Meanwhile at the First Church of Yugopotamia)
- King Gripullon: Can you see the love between these two?
- Queen Jipjorullac: I'm so glad Mark decided to get married and not get his head caught off by Mandie. (King Gripullon frowns, then the Queen hands him a note)
- King Gripullon: Marriage makes everything better.
- Father of Chruch: I now pronounce you squid and wife.
- Princess: I'M SO HAPPY! (Kisses "Mark", changing back to Mr. Crocker. The crowd gasps, while the Princess is enraged)
(Scene cuts to sleeping and blindfolded Principal in her house and Crocker was dropped beside her.)
- Principal: (Removes blindfold) Crocker!
- Crocker: I guess the honeymoon's off? (Principal grabs the hand dryer beside her off the wall and hits hard on Crocker continuously.)