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This article is a transcript of the Fairly OddParents episode "Nega-Timmy" from Season 5, which aired on February 14, 2005.
Script[]
[The scene starts off with the TV turning on. A kangaroo pops out of a bush and jumps off. The Bad Parent Hunter pops out of its pouch.]
- The Bad Parent Hunter: Crikey! The Bad Parent Hunter here, and this week I'm after another set of neglectful parents.
[Cut to the inside of Turner's residence. Timmy walks to his mom and dad who are watching TV. He is holding a book.]
- Timmy: Hello Mother. Hello Father. Can you help me with my homework?
- Mrs. Turner: We don't have time to help you with your homework like good parents should. We're watching our favorite show, The Bad Parent Hunter!
- Mr. Turner: Yeah, so, here. [Mr. Turner hands Timmy dangerous acid] Go play with this dangerous acid in the street.
[Mr. Turner uses his hand to move Timmy to the front of the door. The dangerous acid melts part of the door, which makes Timmy grin. He goes through the hole.]
- The Bad Parent Hunter: [Cut back to TV] Bloomin' onion! There's their boy now. [Timmy is seen pouring the acid on the mailbox, which melts part of it.] Jackaroo chips! These bad parents stink out loud.
- Mr. Turner: [Back to the Turner's living room] Ooh, I know. Look what they did to that poor kid who looks like Timmy.
- Mrs. Turner: And look at the horrible, ugly house they live in!
[The Bad Parent Hunter opens the window.]
- The Bad Parent Hunter: Safety first! [He jumps through the window.]
- Mr. Turner: What's he doing here? I thought he was hunting bad parents!
[The host throws the parents out of the house, making them scream out loud. He then uses a lasso to tie them up.]
- Mr. and Mrs. Turner: [gasp] Oh my gosh, we're the bad parents!
- The Bad Parent Hunter: Right you are Joey. See you next time on The Bad Parent Hunter. Aye, that's a didgeridoo!
[Cut back to outside. Timmy is walking back home with glee.]
- Timmy: That was fun and destructive; it was funstructive!
- Mr. Turner: Timmy, be humiliated in front of a nationwide audience has taught us a lesson. We're going to be better parents.
- Mrs. Turner: And by better, we mean bossier, and more in your face.
- Mr. Turner: Yeah, starting right now. Untie us, and that's an order!
[Cut to a video game that Timmy is playing. There is an 8-bit version of The Bad Parent Hunter and Timmy's parents.]
- Timmy: Crikey! I'll get you losers! [He uses the controls to hit the 8-bit versions of his parents.] Take that, you morons! [Notices his parents, which makes him turn the game off.] Who aren't anything like my parents?
- Mrs. Turner: No more video games until you take out the trash.
- Mr. Turner: And do your homework.
- Mr. and Mrs. Turner: And brush your tooth THIS INSTANT! [Timmy walks off.] Ha! Ha! Ha! We're great parents. [Timmy comes back to glare at them, which makes them scare him off by staring at him angrily.] And great dancers!
[Cut to outside. Timmy is brushing his teeth, doing his homework, and taking out the trash. He throws it on the side, spits out the toothbrush, and sits down. Cosmo and Wanda appear as flies.]
- Timmy: Ugh. My life was a lot more fun when my parents didn't tell me what to do all the time.
- Wanda: But they're your parents. It's not their job to make your life fun.
- Cosmo: Yeah, pretty much the opposite. Like wives!
[Wanda poofs up a fly swatter, which smacks Cosmo.]
- Timmy: Opposite? Cosmo, that's it! I wish to do the exact opposite of what my parents say!
[Timmy then looks at Wanda.]
- Wanda: What?
- Timmy: Well, this is usually the time you tell me that this is a bad wish.
- Cosmo: And that he should consider the consequences, blah, blah, blah.
- Wanda: Because I'm the opposite of fun? [Cosmo mumbles.] Well, not this time! Wish away, see if I care!
- Timmy: I wish I had to do the exact opposite of whatever my parents tell me to do! [Poof! The poof then switches to Foop! Cut back to the Turner's living room. He walks to his parents.] Hello mother. Hello father. Can I watch TV?
- Mrs. Turner: You could if I wasn't trying to be more in your face.
- Mr. Turner: Yeah, so you go to your room right now!
[FooP! The wish takes effect.]
- Timmy: Okay, I won't go to my room right now. [Sits down on the couch.] Thanks! [He eats the popcorn that was in the middle of the couch.]
- Mr. Turner: That's my boy, and my popcorn!
- Timmy: Oh man, this is going to be great! [His head goes inside the bowl of popcorn.]
[Cut to the next day. A filthy Timmy is walking back home.]
- Mr. and Mrs. Turner: [Timmy stops.] Ahem!
- Mr. Turner: You march right upstairs and take a bath, young man!
- Timmy: Stay out here and get filthy? Great idea!
[The wish takes effect again. Timmy runs to the mud and gets himself muddy. He then jumps into a trash can and gets out of it, making him dirtier. Chester pops out of the trash can.]
- Chester: Hey, I was here first!
[Timmy walks inside. The stinkiness turns his parent's hair black.]
- Mr. Turner: What a good son!
- Mrs. Turner: Oh, I'm so proud of his stench!
[Cut back to the next day. A worm turns off the alarm clock. Timmy pops out with a pig on his head.]
- Timmy: What a beautiful day! The sun is shining, I still haven't bathed, and this opposite thing is awesome!
[The wallpaper on the wall partially falls off. Cosmo then appears, smelling the stinkiness.]
- Cosmo: Ahh! There's nothing more manly than living in nature's filth! [His hair falls to his face.] What a great wish Timmy!
[Wanda appears with a gas mask, making Cosmo and Timmy look at her.]
- Wanda: What?
- Timmy: This is usually the time when you tell us to unwish the wish.
- Cosmo: And if we don't it will be really bad, because you're so smart and I'm so dumb and blah, blah, blah.
[Wanda growls at this, making the gas mask break.]
- Wanda: Not this time! I'm fun Wanda, remember? I'm loving this! [A white streak of hair appears on her hair, and she falls to the floor.]
[Cut to outside, Mr. and Mrs. Turner are giving Timmy his lunch.]
- Timmy: Well, I guess I better go catch the bus, unless you want to tell me something like, "don't be late," or "go to school" or "don't pretend to be sick and stay home playing video games eating cheesy pretzels!"
- Mrs. Turner: No, no.
- Mr. Turner: Just be good.
[Timmy's parents close the door. Then Timmy realizes something.]
- Timmy: Uh oh!
[Then, Timmy turns into Nega-Timmy. Nega-Timmy then cackles and goes into the school bus. Wanda and Cosmo appear.]
- Wanda: Oh no. His dad told him to be good and that means he's going to be the opposite; evil. Pure evil. Do you know what that means?
- Cosmo: Yeah, this is going to be fun. Unless you wanted him to unwish the wish.
- Wanda: No! How not fun would that be? [Most of her hair disappears.]
- Cosmo: See? Isn't this fun?
[Cut to Mr. Crocker's classroom. Mr. Crocker is doing an evil look at Chester. Then Nega-Timmy comes in with lightning appearing. Nega-Timmy makes an evil look at the teacher.]
- Mr. Crocker: Turner! I don't like that evil look in your eye. That's the evil look in my eye! [He starts his evil look again] If only one of us can have it, who's it going to be? [He stops doing his evil look.] I thought you only had one tooth. [Nega-Timmy kicks him out of the school.] AAAH!! [He lands on mud with rain pouring down.] Apparently, it's him. This can only be the work of... FAIRY BAD PARENTS! Oh well, time to seek a new career that doesn't cross paths with evil Turner. [He walks away.]
[Cosmo and Wanda then appear. The rain stops.]
- Cosmo: Wow Wanda! I have to say, you're really doing a good job on not raining on Timmy's evil parade!
- Wanda: Okay... so Timmy gets to be the bad boy... w-what's the worst that can happen?
[Cut to the Turner's house, pan to Timmy's Evil Lair. Nega-Timmy is programming a laser.]
- Female Voice: Preparing to fire the Super Deadly Evil Super Evil Laser in one super evil minute and counting. [The device comes out]
- Wanda: That's the worst. [Cosmo uses his wand to poof up a background with lights.]
- Nega-Timmy: In just seconds, my Super Deadly Evil Super Evil Laser will fire into space and knock down this communication satellite!
- Wanda: Oh wait, that's the worst! [Cosmo poofs up a camera.]
- Nega-Timmy: ...causing it to crash into Mount Dimmsdale and reactivate the dormant volcano!
- Wanda: Nope, that is. What are you doing?
- Cosmo: I'm just setting up the camera, for when it happens!
- Wanda: When what happens?
- Nega-Timmy: Then the lava will burst the Dimmsdale Dam. Then, the resulting flood will cause a meltdown of the Dimmsdale Make-up factory. And once people have no makeup, all social life in Dimmsdale will collapse, and life in Dimmsdale will cease to exist!
[Wanda blinks, making the Nega-Timmys from her eyes disappear.]
- Wanda: He's right! Some people look terrible without makeup. Nobody has ever seen Cosmo without his pancake base and blush! Oh, it's horrible, woah!
- Cosmo: Hey! That's our little secret. But use that terror. Yeah baby, work the terror! [Cosmo takes pictures of Wanda getting scared.] Yeah! Oh, I love it!
- Mr. Crocker: [Opens the door] Good evening, sir. I'm Denzel Crocker of the door-to-door ham company of Canton, Ohio. [Nega-Timmy growls and attacks him] AHH! [Crocker gets thrown out of the house] AHHH!!! [He then lands on a thorny bush. The ham lands on his head.] Oh well. Time to pursue a career as a tour guide. [Walks away]
- Female Voice: Super Evil Laser ready to fire. [Nega-Timmy cackles, almost pressing the fire button.]
- Wanda: Cosmo, we have to stop Timmy!
- Cosmo: [Throws away the photos of scared Wanda] Well, finally! What were you thinking? How could you let him go this far?
- Mrs. Turner: See? [Cosmo and Wanda turn into cats] I told you he turned the living room into an evil lair.
- Mr. Turner: yeah, I don't remember him telling him to do that. Timmy, go to your room!
[Foop! The wish takes effect again. Nega-Timmy presses the fire button, destroying his room.]
- Nega-Timmy: What room? [The laser hits the communication satellite, making it fall to Earth.] Now, if you excuse me, it's time to watch my evil plan unfold.
- Mrs. Turner: Okay, that is it evil young man!
- Nega-Timmy: Did I mention that my laser can also blow up Dinkleberg's house?
- Mr. Turner: Eh... hang on a second. I think our evil boy might be on to something here.
[The communication satellite falls into Mount Dimmsdale, making it break and release a huge lava flow.]
- Mr. Crocker: Welcome to the Dimmsdale Dam. Built in 1948, it is impervious to any natural disaster. Except for a huge lava flow. But what are the odds of that? [The huge lava flow appears on him] GAH! [The Dimmsdale Dam breaks, releasing a huge wave. Crocker is on a broken piece of the dam.] GAHH!!! [The tourists take pictures of the disaster.] GAHHH!!!
[The workers of the Dimmsdale Make-up factory scream and run away from the factory.]
- Mrs. Turner: [Gasp] The make-up factory! That's the place that makes your dad look pretty! We have to do something!
- Mr. Turner: Now honey, if Timmy wants to be evil and destroy the Dinkleberg's house then I say go ahead!
- Dinkleberg: [Opens his house door] Hi, Turner!
- Mr. Turner: Bye, Dinkleberg! Timmy, I want you to be evil as possible.
[Nega-Timmy turns back to his normal self. Then he looks what he has done.]
- Cosmo, Wanda, and Mrs. Turner: AHHH!!!
- Mr. Crocker: Oh no! My mother is nothing without her make-up!
- Mrs. Turner: Oh no! Your father is nothing without his make-up!
- Timmy: And I'm nothing without my eyeliner and tooth gloss. I wish that wave was gone!
[Cosmo and Wanda grant the wish. The wave disappears. Crocker falls into the make-up factory.]
- 'Mr. Crocker: Ahh! [Comes out of the factory] Ha! I'm alive, and I look fantastic!
- Mrs. Turner: Yay! The deadly wave is gone, and Timmy is back to normal!
- Mr. Turner: And when did we get those cats?
- Timmy: Sorry, mom and dad. I was going through an evil phase, which is over for good cause your both such good parents!
- The Bad Parent Hunter: Aw... [He leaves the house in disappointment.]
- Mrs. Turner: Let's go have some ice cream.
- Timmy: Whatever you say.
- Mr. Turner: I'll be right there, right after I say goodbye to Dinkleberg!
- Mrs. Turner: ALL of us!
- Mr. Turner: Mm, whatever you say. [He walks away from the laser.]
- Wanda: [Appears as her normal self-] Man, that was too close!
- Cosmo: And I hope you learned your lesson. From now on, do a better job of keeping track of Timmy, like me!
- Wanda: Because you're so responsible, blah, blah, blah, and I'm such a nag, blah, blah, blah.
- Cosmo: Stop mocking me! [Cosmo accidentally presses the fire button.]
[Crocker is walking down the street and gets hit by the laser.]
- The Bad Parent Hunter: You should put some make-up on that. [The episode nearly ends] Crikey!