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This article is a transcript of the Fairly OddParents episode "Nectar of the Odds" from Season 2, which aired on September 13, 2002.


Transcript[]

[Fade in on a spinning newspaper]
Chet Ubetcha: The evil Clutchulacs have invaded Earth. Who can stop them? [Crash Nebula breaks through a wall]
Chorus: ♪ Crash Nebula! Crash Nebula! Crash Nebula! ♪ [an ice skater dressed as Crash Nebula breaks through the scene]
Chet: Yessiree, folks, it's Crash Nebula on Ice! [Timmy, Chester and AJ are watching this commercial in the Turners' living room] This weekend, one night only at the Dimmsdale Dimmadome! [Timmy and company gasp] It's a once-in-a-lifetime space skating spectacular! It's...
Timmy: Crash Nebula on Ice!
AJ: We should get our tickets right now!
Timmy: [scoffs] Don't sweat it, guys. I've totally got it handled.
Chester: You sure?
Chet: Yes... there are thousands of tickets left for Crash Nebula on Ice!
Timmy: See? No problem! [Chester and AJ look at each other and start to leave]
Chester: Later, Timmy! [Timmy closes the front door and walks to Cosmo and Wanda's fishbowl]
Timmy: Okay, guys. Time to do your stuff. [he notices a sign in the bowl reading "Timmy—Gone fishing—Love, the fairies"] Gone fishing? But they are fish! [cut to Cosmo fishing. He laughs and lifts his fishing rod, revealing Wanda as a goldfish on the line]
Cosmo: Your turn! [cut to Timmy]
Chet: [on Timmy's TV] This just in... I lied. There are actually no tickets left for Crash Nebula on Ice.
Timmy: What? [cut to him dialing a number on a phone in the living room]
Phone Lady: [over the phone] Hello, Dimmadome ticket office. How may I help you?
Timmy: Uh, yes. I'd like three tickets for Crash Nebula on Ice, please.
Phone Lady: [laughing] Are you crazy? Tickets for Crash Nebula on Ice! I'm sorry, kid. We're sold out. [fade to Dimmsdale Elementary]
Chester: I can't believe you didn't get our tickets, Timmy!
Timmy: Don't worry, guys! There's always a way to get tickets! [he leads Chester and AJ into the boys' bathroom. He flushes a toilet, and Francis comes out of it]
Francis: Francis's Toilet of Tickets. How may I help you?
Timmy: Three of your best seats for Crash Nebula.
Francis: On Ice?
Timmy: Yep.
Francis: Fifteen hundred dollars.
Timmy: Thank you very... What? We don't have that kinda money! [Francis grabs him tightly and throws him at Chester and AJ]
Francis: That's for free. [flushes himself]
Chester: We can't miss that show!
Timmy: Dude, relax. I will get us those tickets.
AJ: What are you going to do? Make three tickets appear by magic? [Timmy smiles slyly. Fade to the Turners' house]
Timmy: What do you mean, I can't just make three tickets appear like magic?
Wanda: Timmy, it's sold out! [makes Da Rules appear] If we gave you three of the tickets, it means we'd be taking them away from somebody else who already has them! And that would be stealing. [Timmy is glaring at her] Which is bad.
Timmy: I have to buy those tickets from Francis! [gets an idea and snaps his fingers] I wish I had 1500 dollars.
Wanda: That's counterfeiting.
Timmy: Which is, of course... [a dollar bill with Cosmo and Wanda on it appears in his hands]
Wanda: Bad. [the bill disappears] How do most ten-year-olds make money?
Timmy: A lemonade stand. [has a realization] Oh no. There is no way... No way I'm selling... [fade to him at a lemonade stand in front of the house] Lemonade! 25 cents!
Mrs. Turner: How's the lemonade business, Timmy?
Timmy: Terrible. Nobody's buying any.
Mrs. Turner: Well, I wouldn't want your self-esteem to be crushed. I'll be your first customer! [she gives him a coin, and he gives her a glass of lemonade] Cheers!
Timmy: To my first customer! [Mrs. Turner drinks some lemonade, and her face turns green. She coughs the lemonade back into the glass]
Mrs. Turner: And your last! This stuff you made yourself is horrible! [taking the coin] Give me that back! [walking to Vicky's lemonade stand] I'm afraid I'll be taking my business elsewhere. Like here.
Vicky: Hello, Mrs. Turner! Would you like to try some of Grandma Vicky's old-style country lemonade and help me raise money to see Crash Nebula?
Mrs. Turner: On Ice?
Vicky: Yeah! He's a hunk-sicle!
Mrs. Turner: He sure is. [flips the coin to her]
Vicky: Okay! One lemonade coming right up. [she opens a trap door under which malnourished kids are making lemonade by churning and stomping lemons]
Dale Dimmadome: The light... It burns! [one kid gives Vicky a glass of lemonade]
Vicky: [closes the door] Here you go, Mrs. Turner! [gives her the lemonade]
Mrs. Turner: [drinks some] Mmmm! It's delicious! It's so much more tasty than that rank bile Timmy made! [Cosmo and Wanda are floating in Timmy's lemonade pitcher as goldfish]
Timmy: Vicky wants those tickets too! That does it! I've gotta make better-tasting lemonade!
Cosmo: I'll say! This bile tastes like fish! [fade to the kitchen, which is a mess]
Timmy: Finally, I think I've found the secret ingredient that will make my lemonade the tastiest ever! [he drinks lemonade, then coughs up a piece of cheese] Okay, cheese is not the secret ingredient. [drinks from another lemonade glass. His face turns red and he breathes fire] Neither is taco sauce. [drinks from another glass and spits out peas] Or peas. [sighs] Darn it, I'm running out of ingredients! [starts drinking from another glass]
Cosmo: So, that would be a "no" on the chocolate laxatives?
Timmy: Listen, you. I— [his stomach squelches and he starts running] Bathroom!
Cosmo: Well, you're not gonna find it in there!
Wanda: I don't understand why he doesn't just wish for sweeter lemonade.
Cosmo: Oh! I can do that! [forces his shoes off] Woo-hoo! [takes off a smelly sock and dunks it in a glass of lemonade. The lemonade glows]
Wanda: I said "sweeter", not "sweatier"!
Cosmo: Really? I thought you said "Dunk your sweaty socks in Timmy's lemonade!"
Timmy: [returning] That was thirsty work. [Cosmo gives him the lemonade. He drinks some of it and smiles] Hey! This is great! I wish I had a pitcher of this! [the fairies raise their wands, and the wish is granted. The fairies look at their wands and at each other]
Wanda: I didn't do that!
Cosmo: [to Timmy] The secret ingredient is feet! [he dunks the sock in the lemonade, which glows]
Timmy: Cool! [fade to his stand. Chester and AJ are drinking lemonade] So, whaddaya think?
AJ: Stupendous. This lemonade is so great, I wish everybody knew about it! [sparkles appear around him. A news van stops and its tire bursts]
Chet: [getting out of the van] I'm Chet Ubetcha saying my tire is flat and we'll never get back to the studio in time. [beat] This is Chet Ubetcha saying: I'll do the news right from here. [a cameraman starts filming him] Good evening, Dimmsdale, I'm Chet Ubetcha with breaking news. After pulling his crew from the twisted metal of his burning news van, [taking the lemonade AJ is putting in view of the camera] ace anchorman Chet Ubetcha was reported today as saying that... [drinks lemonade] This lemonade is fantastic! Everyone within the sound of my voice has really got to taste this astounding lemonade made by Dimmsdale's own Timmy Turner. [Vicky's customers look at Timmy, who smiles]
Vicky's Customers: [running to Timmy's stand] Timmy Turner's lemonade! Timmy Turner's lemonade! [cut to a line of customers in front of the stand. Timmy pours lemonade for a customer]
Customer: [drinks the lemonade] I wish I had more. [his glass magically refills] Now, that's service!
Timmy: [to Chester and AJ, who are by tall stacks of cash] So, how we doing?
AJ: ♪ We're gonna see Crash Nebula! We're gonna see Crash Nebula! ♪
Timmy: Dude, at this rate, we're gonna own Crash Nebula. You man the fort, I'm gonna get some more sweaty socks for my lemonade.
AJ: What?
Timmy: Uh, I mean I'm gonna make six more sweaty pitchers of... [pointing behind Chester and AJ] Look, a monkey! [Chester and AJ look, and Timmy zips away. Fade to lemons being dropping into a container. They are squeezed into a pitcher, which moves down a conveyor belt where sugar and water are put in it and Cosmo's socks are dunked in it. The socks are put in a bucket. A tired Cosmo pedals a stationary bicycle, then stops. His socks are removed and replaced, and he continues pedaling. Timmy opens the garage door]
Cosmo: I have dreams too, you know!
Timmy: [taking a pitcher] Less talkie! More sweatie! [Wanda turns into a cat and follows him] Man, this was a great idea! I can't believe how fast we're making money! [AJ pours lemonade for a little kid]
Little Kid: [drinks lemonade] I wish my dog was here! He used to love lemonade. [the wish is granted] Speedy! It's a miracle!
Timmy: Wow! Once people drink Cosmo's sweat, their wishes get granted!
Wanda: Bad. [Timmy sees AJ pour lemonade for Mr. Turner, who starts drinking it]
Timmy: Dad! No! Put that down!
Mr. Turner: Are you mad? This lemonade's tangy and refreshing! If only there was some way I wouldn't have to go back to work, I'd stay here all day and drink it all day long! [sees a giant lizard eat the top of a building] That's my office! Cool! I'm unemployed! Come on, honey, let's go frolic with the other unemployed people!
Mrs. Turner: Okay! [drinks lemonade. Mr. Turner becomes muscular. She jumps into his arms and he runs off. A giant candy cane, a UFO, giant flowers, a giant jack-in-the-box head, a floating pink elephant and a giant Christmas tree appear]
Chet: This is Chet Ubetcha with big news! [drinks lemonade and starts growing] I'm the tallest newscaster alive! Details at 11!
Timmy: Oh man! Gotta find Cosmo... [sees him on the floor of the garage] Everybody's wishes are coming true! What am I gonna do?
Cosmo: Only... enough body fluids to make one more glass... [Timmy wrings lemonade out of him and into a glass]
TImmy: I'm gonna fight lemonade with lemonade. [the lizard tears the roof off the garage and raises its foot. Timmy drinks lemonade, and the lizard shrinks and falls into the glass] Hello there, little fella! Not so tough now, huh? [the lizard drinks lemonade and turns back into a giant. Timmy drinks lemonade to make it small again and lets it fall to the ground] Gotta watch that. [drinks lemonade; looking at a winged toaster] I wish that was back to normal! [the toaster turns into a bird; passing by a woman in a bikini] And that! [the woman turns into a fat, hairy man] I wish all that was back to normal! [drinks lemonade. The cityscape turns back to normal]
Chet: This is Chet Ubetcha saying: I'm shrinking. [shrinking back to normal size] Aww.
Timmy: I wish that everything was back to normal and nobody remembered any of this. [drinks lemonade. The wish is granted. He sees his money is gone. A dollar bill falls in front of him but disappears before he can grab it] Well, everything is back to the way it was. Which means I still have no money to buy Francis's tickets. [looking at his glass] Huh. There's still a little bit left.
Dale: [crawling out through the trap door] Vicky has kept me locked up for so long... I-I-I gotta have somethin' to drink!
Timmy: [looks at the glass] Here, drink this. [gives it to the kid]
Dale: [drinks the lemonade] I wish my father was here. [a limousine pulls up]
Doug Dimmadome: Hello, son! Timmy Turner, my name is Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome! Thank you for locating my long-lost son, Dale Dimmadome, heir to the Dimmsdale Dimmadome fortune! If there's anything I can ever do to repay you for your kindness, all you need to do is ask!
Timmy: Doug Dimmadome? The owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome?
Dimmadome: That's right! Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome!
Timmy: The same Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome where they're showing Crash Nebula?
Dimmadome: On Ice?
Timmy: Yeah!
Dimmadome: That's right!
Timmy: Then you can get me three tickets to see Crash Nebula on Ice, right?
Dimmadome: Not right!
Timmy: Not right?
Dimmadome: Right! I'm afraid it's sold out!
Timmy: Oh, right.
Dimmadome: However, there is one way I can see to it that you and all your little friends can see the show! [fade to the Dimmadome on the night of the ice show]
Timmy: Well, guys, I told you I'd get you in to see Crash Nebula on Ice! [he, Chester and AJ are wearing vendor trays with lemonade glasses in them] Lemonade! Get your lemonade! On ice!
Chester: Well, at least it's better than Vicky's job. [Vicky is wearing a Clutchulac head. She screams and skates away as the Crash Nebula ice skater shoots her with bouncy pellets]
Wanda: [ice fishing in the rink] Don't you just love Crash Nebula?
Cosmo: [as a goldfish on her line] On Ice? He's a hunk-sicle! [iris out on him and Wanda. Applause is heard as the end title card is shown. Fade to black]


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