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This article is a transcript of the Fairly OddParents episode "Mother Nature (episode)" from Season 3, which aired on May 17, 2003.


Script[]

Chet Ubetcha: (voiceover) Good morning, Dimmsdale. I'm Chet Ubetcha. Next up, a look at our neighboring rival city, Brightburg, which has once again been voted the best place to live. But that's not everything, you know.

Timmy and Mr. Turner: Y-i-i-i-i!

Chet Ubetcha: But first, here's the morning weather with a man not nearly as handsome as me, Stormy Raynes.

Timmy: You think it'll be finally nice enough to go fishing today, dad?

Mr. Turner: Ooh, it better be, or we'll take our anger and frustration out on the weatherman.

Timmy: Cool, because-

Mr. Turner: Bup-bup-bup. The weather is on.

Wanda: Wow! People in this town sure are nuts about the weather.

Cosmo: Uh-ba-ba. The weather is on!

Stormy Raynes: Today's weather: sunny. A perfect day for outdoor activities, like fishing.

Timmy and Mr. Turner: Yay!

Mrs. Turner: Honey, Timmy, you'll never guess what happened to me this morning. I won the Mrs. Dimmsdale pageant.

Timmy: That's nice.

Mr. Turner: Great. Super. That's nice. Bye.

[Stars and stripes forever playing]

Timmy and Mr. Turner: Aah!

Stormy Raynes: Did I say sunny? I... I... I meant rainy.

Mob Person: Can't a guy make one mistake?

[Crowd yelling]

Timmy: Cheer up, dad. The forecast might have been wrong yesterday, but I'm sure they'll get it right today.

Chet Ubetcha: (on TV) And now, here's our new weatherman, the also-much-less-prettier than me Johnny Downpour.

Johnny Downpour: Thanks, Chet.

Mrs. Turner: Guess whose pie won first prize.

Mr. Turner: A-bup-bup. Weather.

Johnny Downpour: Uh, today will be, uh, sunny? Please?

[Jingle bells playing]

Johnny Downpour: Aah! Did I say sunny? I... I meant freezing.

[Crowd yelling]

Mr. Turner: Must beat weatherman, once I thaw.

Chet Ubetcha: Johnny Downpour was run out of town yesterday by an angry mob. Ha ha ha! Yes! I mean, ahem, it's always a shame to lose a valued member of the news family.

Mrs. Turner: I'm tired of you two paying more attention to the weatherman than you do to me.

Both: Eh?

Mrs. Turner: So, I entered the "be the new weatherperson contest."

Chet Ubetcha: And the winner of the "be the new weatherperson contest" is... Timmy Turner's mom!

Mrs. Turner: I won!

Both: What?

Mr. Turner: Why didn't you tell us you entered that contest?

Mrs. Turner: I'm sorry, but if you want to listen to me now, you'll have to do it at 9 a.m., noon, 5:00, 6:00, 10:00, and 11:00.

Mr. Turner: Well, son, now that your mom has a high-profile career, I'm going to have to assume more responsibility and be both your mom and dad. Good thing I made this mom puppet.

Mom Puppet: (imitates mom) Hello, Timmy. I'm mom. [Timmy shivers] Stop ignoring me.

Timmy: Guys, I don't know about this. Every time the weatherperson makes a wrong prediction, they get run out of town by an angry mob. I don't want my mom to get run out of town by an angry mob.

Wanda: Oh, I'll bet she'll do great.

Cosmo: But just in case... Eh, eh, eh. What?

Chet Ubetcha: And now here's our new, new weatherperson, Timmy's mom.

Mrs. Turner: Uh, right now, it's very cloudy, but it will clear up... And then a big, gaping hole will appear downtown... And then it'll rain. Back to you, Chet.

Chet Ubetcha: This just in: An angry mob has formed outside this studio.

Timmy: Angry mob already? If that weather doesn't happen, they'll totally kill her. I wish all my mother's weather predictions would come true.

Mob Person: Get Timmy's mom!

Mrs. Turner: (after noticing the angry mob outside) Would you like me to autograph your pitchforks and torches?

[The mob gets ready to chase her.]

Mob Person: It's the new incorrect weatherperson. Gentlemen, start your pitchforks.

All: Ohh!

Mob Person: The clouds- they're gone.

Mob Person: Just like she said.

Mob Person: Well, there's still no giant hole.

Mob Person: But now there is.

Mrs. Turner: Wow, I must be really good at this.

Mob Person: Everything she predicted has come true.

All: Hip, hip, hooray! Hip, hip, hooray!

Mob Person: She's the greatest weatherperson ever!

Wanda: Aw, look how happy she is.

Cosmo: And how not-run-out-of-town she is, which means I won't be needing these.

Timmy: Come on, let's get home before dad figures out, we're gone.

Cosmo: You've only been gone 15 seconds. You think your dad will be worried?

Mr. Turner: EH, WHERE WERE YOU? THERE WAS A 15-SECOND PERIOD I HAD NO IDEA WHERE YOU WERE!

Timmy: Jeez, dad. Relax. Would mom get this upset?

Mr. Turner: I don't know. Let's ask her while I'm drinking a glass of water.

Mom Puppet: I think you're being too harsh on Timmy.

Mr. Turner: (spits out water) Oh, sure! Take his side!

Timmy: No amount of therapy will ever make this moment OK.

[TV news theme plays]

Timmy: Hey, the news is on.

TV Announcer: It's time for... with Chet Ubetcha on today's news, but who cares about that? Because with the weather, it's Dimmsdale's own mother nature. She's 100% accurate, 100% of the time. She's Dimmsdale's hottest TV personality.

Chet Ubetcha: Hey!

Mr. Turner: Hey!

Mom Puppet: Hey!

Both: Hey!

Timmy: Morning, Mom!

[Mrs. Turner ignores him and turns away]

Timmy: Err... (chuckles) Dad said the funniest thing yesterday, and by funny, I mean creepy... and with a puppet.

Timmy: Uh, you're still mad at me and dad for not listening, aren't you?

Mrs. Turner: Not very fond of getting the cold shoulder, are you?

Mrs. Turner: Bye.

Mr. Turner: Good news! We're having gelatin-brand gelatin for breakfast.

Mom Puppet: And I filled it with broccoli, so it's healthy. And look, no matter how much it jiggles, the broccoli stays safely in place.

Timmy: I miss mom.

Cosmo: And I miss the angry mobs, but we're both going to have to move on.

TV Announcer: it's time for Dimmsdale's number one half-hour newscast, with Chet Ubetcha and--with her expanded, 29-minute, 59-second weathercast--Timmy's mom!

Chet Ubetcha: What? What about me? I'm hot, too!

Mrs. Turner: Gosh. I don't mean to rain on Mr. Ubetcha's parade.

Mrs. Turner: And now, here's my forecast.

Mr. Turner: Wow, she's good, she predicted weather that defied the laws of physics!

Mom Puppet: I know what that means. You think she's prettier than me!

Mr. Turner: Come back.

Timmy: Ah, I sure wish there was a way to get mom back here.

Wanda: Well, you could always try doing what Cosmo does When he does something wrong.

Cosmo: Blame Wanda. It's all your fault.

Wanda Puppet: (imitates Wanda) Stop yelling at me.

Cosmo: Ow! Ow! Ow!

Timmy: Maybe I'll just apologize.

Timmy: Mom, I know dad and I weren't paying enough attention to you, and I'm sorry.

Both: Awww.

Mrs. Turner: Apology accepted. I miss you, too.

Timmy: So, you'll come home and make dad get rid of that creepy puppet?

Mrs. Turner: Well, I can't just quit. I have a contract. Hmm, if I predicted weather that destroyed the town, they'd have to run me out of the destroyed town.

Timmy: Mom, no! Wait!

[TV news theme playing]

Mrs. Turner: Tonight, I'm predicting hail the size of minivans. Then, uh, the world's largest lightning storm. And, um- Oh, oh, and then we'll have a massive earthquake. But the good news is, tomorrow, if we're still alive, it'll be nice enough to fish.

Timmy: Oh, no- my wish. Because my mom predicted that, it's all going to happen. Cosmo! Wanda! I wish my mom was wrong about the weather.

Wanda: Too late. She's already predicted it. It's got to happen anyway.

Cosmo: I told you it was a stupid wish.

Wanda Puppet: Why don't you listen?

Timmy: We'll have to get creative. Come on. We've got weather to stop. It's time to fool mother nature.

Timmy: What's first?

Wanda: Hail.

Cosmo: The size of minivans.

Wanda: Fully loaded minivans.

Timmy: I wish there was a giant trampoline over Dimmsdale. Aah!

[People screaming]

Cosmo: The lightning storm. How are we going to protect the town from that? Aah!

Timmy: Hey! That's working out fabulously.

Timmy: And all that leaves is the-

Mr. Turner: Earthquake! (Cosmo and Wanda turn into birds) Run! Run for your life! (Imitates Mrs. Turner with his puppet holding a plate of gelatin) And while you’re running, enjoy this nutritious last meal.

Timmy: No matter how much it jiggles, the broccoli always stays in place! That's it! I wish Dimmsdale was surrounded by vegetable-brand gelatin.

[Cosmo and Wanda then poof a giant gelatin-brand vegetable gelatin on Dimmsdale.]

All: Yay!

All: Aah!

Wanda: It's working.

Cosmo: And it's delicious. Aah!

Timmy: And we're safe.

Wanda: But what are we going to do with all this goop?

Chet Ubetcha: Yes, it's been chaos in worst-place-to-live Brightburg. But who cares? Mama Ubetcha's son is number one again!

Timmy: More lemonade as you tell me about your day?

Mrs. Turner: Yes and thank you.

Wanda: Aw, that's sweet. They're finally listening to her.

Cosmo: Yeah, but as far as everybody knows, she got the weather wrong. Where's the angry mob? I want my angry mob!

Mom Puppet: Leave me alone. I'm just a puppet... a puppet, I tell you.

[Mob yells]

Cosmo: Yay! An angry mob! I blame you.

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