[Fade in on a TV screen. Helicopters drop boxes labeled "Ice cream", "Wild boars", and "Clown wrestlers" into a mansion. People take photos]
Christie Glamorpuss: This is Christie Glamorpuss for the Party Channel, live in Hollywood, where preparations are underway for the premier star-studded event of the year: Septimberfest! And with only two hours until party time, one still wonders: Who is the mysterious kazillionaire who tosses this super A-list–a-palooza every year? [cut to inside the mansion]
Cosmo: Uh-oh! It's Mouth McNaggy Nag! And she's gonna blow!
Wanda: Excuse me, Mr. "Mysterious Kazillionaire", but Septimberfest is your party, and we're not ready!
Timmy: Then let the last-minute wishing begin. I wish I had my party tuxedo! [Wanda grants the wish] No, the blue one? With the built-in disco dance pants? [Wanda is about to use her wand]
Cosmo: Oh! I'll get it! [makes a giant sandworm appear under Timmy. Timmy screams as it takes him out of the room, and it attacks him offscreen] He did say "giant sandworm", right? [Timmy runs back into the room, kicks the sandworm away, and shuts the door]
Timmy: [pants] You guys stink at poofing today!
Wanda: Well, we're nervous. This is the biggest party of the year, and Poof's spitting up.
Cosmo: I don't like the look on that kid's face! [Poof projectile vomits on him, knocking him through a wall. Chefs look through the hole]
Timmy: New door. Cool. Now, what do we need for the party besides my tux?
Wanda: Britney Britney won't get out of her limo unless there's fresh Arctic ice cubes, Chip Skylark has requested the world's biggest disco ball, and mega movie star Sylvester Calzone will only drink from imported coconuts.
Timmy: Okay, new plan. I'll take Cosmo and get this stuff myself. You stay here with Baby Barfs-a-lot and make sure everything runs smoothly. [there is beeping. Monitors appear and show the Turners' house, its kitchen, Timmy's room, and Mr. Turner walking down the hallway]
Wanda: Oh, no! It's the dad cam!
Mr. Turner: [into Timmy's room] Oh, Timmy! Wanna come for a ride to get a ham?
Timmy: I wish there was a Timmybot 9000 in my room! [the wish is granted. Mr. Turner enters the room]
Timmybot: Greetings, paternal figurehead.
Mr. Turner: You look different. Are you a robot?
Timmybot: Negative.
Mr. Turner: That's my Timmy! Oh, it's ham time, baby! [the Timmybot picks him up] Ooh! You're strong! [Timmybot leaves with him. Timmy and Cosmo appear in the room]
Timmy: And now it's time to check "get party tux" off the list! [takes a blue tuxedo out of the closet]
Timmy: Ugh. The one day I want them to ignore me... I wish I had another Timmybot. [the wish is granted. Timmy and Cosmo hide under the bed]
Mrs. Turner: Time to go to the beauty salon, the clothing store, and the always exciting Wallpaper World.
Timmybot: I love clothes. Let us depart now. It is so great to be a real human. [Mrs. Turner smashes the robot]
Timmy: [as Mrs. Turner drags him out from under the bed] Yikes!
Mrs. Turner: Oh, Timmy, you know your robots only fool ham-loving morons. Now, let's go. I can't wait to do everything on my list of things to drag Timmy to.
Timmy: Uh, okay. But I left my, uh, toaster under the bed. [goes under the bed; to Cosmo] Poof my tux to my mansion and meet me at the salon. [his mother grabs his legs] Oh, and I wish I had a toaster. [Cosmo grants the wish. Mrs. Turner drags Timmy away. Cut to them using hair curlers and hair dryers at the salon. Toast pops out of the toaster]
Christie: [on TV] Yes, Septimberfest is still an hour away. Guests are arriving early, like pop superdiva Britney Britney!
Britney Britney: My new nose and I wanna be the first inside to get the fresh Arctic ice!
Mrs. Turner: Septimberfest? I wouldn't mind shaking my ice at that star-studded party, but having dry toast with my son at the salon is like a party. [puts her little finger up and continues eating toast. Cosmo appears as a mirror in Timmy's hand]
Timmy: I wish Mom's hair dryer was huge! [Cosmo makes the hair dryer cover most of her body] We've gotta get Britney Britney her Arctic ice! To the North Pole! [wipe to the North Pole]
Cosmo: Ah! The North Pole! It looks like a candy cane! [he licks the pole and his tongue freezes to it] Evil candy cane!
Timmy: [uses an ice pick to make ice fall into a bucket] Okay, now to send a chunk of this stuff to... [dogs bark offscreen] Do you hear dogs? [turns the pole to hide Cosmo]
Mrs. Turner: [riding a dog sled] Timmy Turner! You can play in the snow later. I have errands to run.
Timmy: [chuckles nervously] Here's a silly question. How'd you find me?!
Mrs. Turner: With mother's intuition, of course... and this super high-tech tracking device that I created when I worked for the CIA before you were born. [puts him in a baby carrier] Now, hang on! We have a long day of boring ahead of us! Mush! [she cracks a whip and the sled dogs start running]
Timmy: [coughs] Wish this ice was at the mansion! [Cosmo grants the wish and disappears with the pole. Cut to the mansion, where Pablo Picasso is making a cubist ice sculpture]
Wanda: The ice sculpture is perfect, Mr. Picasso... uh, whatever it is. [poofs him away. Cosmo, the pole, and the Arctic ice appear]
Cosmo: The ice is here! [poofing up a mallet] Now to chop these puppies into fresh Arctic ice cubes! [the mallet breaks the sculpture into ice cubes]
Wanda: Oh, you cut up the ice sculpture!
Cosmo: [sarcastically] Oh, I'm sorry! I couldn't see with the North Pole stuck to my face!
Wanda: Just find Timmy and finish that list! [poofs him away. Cut to Pants 'R' Us! A dressing room door opens, revealing Timmy wearing a kilt]
Timmy: Ah! I'm wearing a skirt! [babbles spastically and falls over]
Mrs. Turner: [wearing a skirt] It's a man-skirt known as a kilt. Mine is a skirt. Oh, Timmy, can you imagine a better way to spend your day than shopping with your mom?
Timmy: Uh... yeah! [Cosmo becomes the dressing door doorknob]
Cosmo: [winking] Aha!
Timmy: I mean, no! [Mrs. Turner smiles] I wanna try on more man-skirts! In fact, I might be in this dressing room for nine hours! [he goes into the dressing room with several kilts and closes the door, then tosses the kilts away]
Cosmo: Okay, what's next on the wish list? Ooh, sweet man-skirt.
Timmy: [looking at the list] Imported coconuts. I wish we were in Hawaii! [Cosmo makes a sandworm come out of the ground. He and Timmy scream as it catches them in its mouth, then it burrows into Hawaii and spits them into a tree]
Cosmo: Sandworms! The only way to travel!
Timmy: [picking up coconuts] And these will be perfect for Sylvester Calzone.
Cosmo: [wearing a coconut bra and grass skirt] And to wear! [dancing]♪ Hula belly, hula belly! Man-skirty huli-hoo! ♪[Timmy dances too, then pauses]
Timmy: Come on. We still have to get the giant disco ball, which should be easy 'cause I ditched my mom on a jet pack?! [Mrs. Turner is flying toward him. Cosmo turns into a coconut]
Mrs. Turner: [lands] Excuse me, young man, but I'm not done with my "lame things to do with Timmy" list. [Cosmo and Timmy look at each other with worry. Mrs. Turner speaks Russian to someone behind her, and a submarine rises from the ocean]
Vladimir/Russian Sailor: We received your secret code, Agent Timmy's Momovich. [speaks Russian]
Timmy: A Russian submarine?
Mrs. Turner: I was a double agent. [grabs his wrist]
Timmy: [coughs] I wish all the coconuts were back at the party!
Mrs. Turner: [dragging Timmy away] I'm gonna have to get you something for that nasty cough. [Cosmo grants the wish. Cut to the mansion]
Wanda: [looking at an ice sculpture of the Statue of Liberty] Hmm. Too traditional. [turns it into a sculpture of the Eiffel Tower] Too French. [makes it look like Tom Cruise] Too Tom Cruise. [makes it look like herself as a mermaid] Ah! Now, that's the most gorgeous ice sculpture I've ever seen! [Cosmo and the coconuts appear and fall on the sculpture. Wanda glares at Cosmo. Cut to Wallpaper World]
Mrs. Turner: It's so great to be at the wallpaper store with my son and not have anywhere else to be.
Christie: [on TV] Christie Glamorpuss live at Septimberfest with mega movie star Sylvester Calzone!
Sylvester Calzone: [mumbles] Coconuts.
Christie: Only five more minutes 'til the doors open on the biggest party of the year!
Timmy: [to Cosmo, a lamp] The party's about to start! And we haven't got everything on the list! Double agent or not, I'm ditching my mom.
Cosmo: It's no use! Your mom—she's too good! She's everywhere! And do you know how long it takes a woman to pick out wallpaper?! You're never gonna get outta here!
Timmy: She might have dragged me to Wallpaper World, but there's no way she'll find me at the world's biggest disco ball! [Cosmo poofs himself and Timmy away. Cut to the Death Ball, which is shining like a disco ball]
Dark Laser: You want to use my Death Ball as a disco ball?
Timmy: That's right.
Dark Laser: You can borrow it on one condition. I get to destroy you.
Timmy: How about two passes to Septimberfest instead? [gives him two passes]
Dark Laser: [turns around]Flipsie, we're going to Septimberfest! [Flipsie flips and barks. Dark Laser happily runs off]
Timmy: Awesome! We got everything on the list. I finally ditched my mom and— [as his jaw drops to the floor] Uhh? [Mrs. Turner is floating outside a window in an astronaut suit] She's a cosmonaut? [she angrily points at her list] I wish we were at Septimberfest! [Cosmo grants the wish, changing the scene to the mansion]
Wanda: You did it, sport! You made it back with 30 seconds to spare!
Timmy: Now let's get these curlers out and let's get this party started! [the fairies give him big, messy hair and a red tuxedo] How do I look?
Wanda: It's the mom cam! [poofs up a monitor that shows Mrs. Turner crying in the Turner living room]
Timmy: Why is she crying? We checked off everything on her lame list. What's missing?
Wanda: Well, maybe she's missing—echo effect, please—[Cosmo floats next to Timmy] you!
Cosmo: [making an echo] You! You! You!
Timmy: Don't start the party 'til I get back! I wish I was home! [the fairies grant the wish] Mom? Are you okay?
Mrs. Turner: Oh... [speaks Russian]
Timmy: Uh, is that Russian code meaning my hair is stupid?
Mrs. Turner: No, but I deciphered your code loud and clear. You don't wanna spend time with me.
Timmy: But all we do is run errands all the time. I'm a boy. Clothing stores hurt me.
Mrs. Turner: Well, I'm a busy mom with lots of boring errands, but I always look forward to doing them with my son. I wish I could take you somewhere super exciting like Septimberfest, but I can't.
Timmy: Did you just say "Septimberfest"? [fade to the party. The Death Star is above the mansion. Chip is performing] Havin' a good time, Mom?
Mrs. Turner: You bet! But there's only one explanation of how you flew me here on a pink jet and drove me in a green limo to the most exclusive party of the year.
Timmy: Uh...
Mrs. Turner: [picks him up] You're a double agent just like your mom.
Timmy: Uh... da! And now I just wanna spend time with the coolest double agent mom in the world.
Mrs. Turner: Oh, Timmy! [the first Timmybot and Mr. Turner break into the room]
Mr. Turner: [wearing a kilt] Now, that's what I call crashing a party, son with blasting laser arms that I never knew you had!
Timmybot: Man-skirts rule. [Poof, a salt shaker, becomes nauseous]
Mr. Turner: Ooh! A purple salt shaker for my ham! [shakes Poof] Eeh! I don't like the look on that shaker's face! [Poof vomits on the Timmybot, making it explode and catch fire] Timmy! Nooooo!
Cosmo: [as a bowl of punch] Fire! I'll put it out! I'll put it out! [makes a sandworm appear under it. People run away screaming, and the sandworm dances]
Juandissimo: [to Sylvester] This party is not knocking me out. [Sylvester punches him into Britney's face, knocking her offscreen]
Britney: [offscreen] I broke my new nose!
Mrs. Turner: Did you hear something?
Timmy: Not a thing. [iris out on them]
Mr. Turner: [shouts] Sandworm in a man-skirt! [the worm chases him offscreen and bites. The end title card is shown. Fade to black]
