Mayor May Not/Transcript

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The Fairly OddParents! episode transcript
"Mayor May Not"
Season	10
Episode	154B
Airdate	January 29, 2016
Transcript List

This article is a transcript of the Fairly OddParents episode "Mayor May Not" from Season 10, which aired on January 29, 2016.

[The episode starts inside Timmy’s house with Timmy, Chloe & Wanda poofing in covered with feathers.]

• Wanda: Timmy! Why did you wish to visit the evil chicken people? The word evil's right in their name.
• Timmy: What did you want me to do, my homework? Ha!

[Then Cosmo poofs in holding a large egg.]

• Cosmo: Tada! Who wants an evil omelette?

[The egg hatches and the evil chicken starts chasing Cosmo.]

• Cosmo: Ahh!

[Wanda poofs the evil chicken away.]

• Mr. Turner: Oh Timmy!
• Cosmo & Wanda: Ah!

[Cosmo & Wanda transform immediately into goldfish.]

• Mr. Turner: Oh... excuse me Mr. and Mrs. Chicken. I thought this was my son Timmy’s room.
• Timmy: Uhm, dad, it's me and Chloe.
• Mr. Turner: Wait, who and Chloe?

[Timmy and Chloe get rid of the feathers.]

• Mr. Turner: Timmy! [Visibly sobbing] I need help! Get the therapy puppet.
• Timmy: Uhm… Okay, Dad, I am here for you.
• Mr. Turner: Do the voice!
• Timmy: [With different voice] Let’s talk about your feelings.
• Mr. Turner: [still sobbing] Oh puppet! I thought being filthy rich would buy me respect. But all it bought me was this twenty-thousand-dollar velvet track suit and a blink-down hovercraft.
• Neighbor: Hey, Turner! You parked your hovercraft on my lawn.
• Mr. Turner: It’s not on your lawn, it’s above your lawn! It’s a hovercraft, you stooge! It hovers, stooge!
• Chloe: You know, Mr. Turner, maybe you’d get more respect if you were a little less of a, uhm, J-E-R-K?
• Mr. Turner: Uhm, jork? Do jorks get respect?

[Timmy & Chloe stare at him.]

• Mr. Turner: I've got to think. Other than jorks, who gets respect?
• Chloe: Doctors? Teachers? Humanitarians?
• Timmy: Cage fighters? Sasquatch? Time cops?
• Mr. Turner: I've got it! I’ll be mayor, because everyone respects politicians.

[Then Mrs. Turner appears with her hovercraft hovering outside Timmy’s room]

• Mrs. Turner: Oh! You’re going to be mayor? Then I get to be first lady!
• Mr. Turner: Oh, I don’t think so. When I’m mayor, I’ll have my pick of women. You can be in there, somewhere... I mean, vote for me! I'm running for mayor, Timmy, time me!

[Mr. Turner exits the room and Mrs. Turner leaves with her hovercraft.]

[Cosmo & Wanda transform back into fairies.]

• Timmy: My poor Dad's such a jork. He’s never going to get elected mayor.
• Chloe: You know, technically, he doesn’t have to get elected. We could wish for him to be mayor.
• Timmy: And I wouldn’t have to do the puppet again, so, I'm in.
• Timmy: Cosmo! Wanda! I wish my Dad was mayor.

[Wish granted.]

• Mr. Turner: [Shouting] I won!

[The Turner residence turns into a mansion.]

[TV reporters flood the front of the house.]

• Chet Ubetcha: Chet Ubetcha at the mayor’s mansion with breaking news! Timmy’s dad has magically been elected mayor!
• Mr. Turner: Oh! Now I have respect. Do I also get flowers and a tiara?
• Chet Ubetcha: You’re mayor, you can get whatever you want!

[The Former Mayor gives his tiara and mayor sash to Mr. Turner]

• Chet Ubetcha: Now that you suddenly are not mayor, Mayor, what are your plans?
• Mayor: Now I'm going to pursue my real dream of turning my goat Chompy into a hip-hop recording star! Give him a taste, Chompy!
• Chompy: Beh-eh-eh!
• Mayor: He’s got mad skills yo!
• Chet Ubetcha: Look! It’s the mayor’s kid!

[Everyone is cheering for Timmy.]

[Mr. Turner comes in and puts a tiara and a sash on Timmy.]

• Mr. Turner: And his smarter friend!

[Mr. Turner puts a tiara and a sash on Chloe.]

[Everyone is cheering.]

• Chet Ubetcha: So, mayor Timmy’s dad, what are your goals now that you’re in office?
• Mr. Turner: First, I'm going to put a ten-thousand-dollar bounty on Dinkleberg! Second, I just up the bounty to twenty thousand! And now, policemen must wear bunny suits. Instead of coppers, they'll be hoppers! See what I did there? Ha!

[The new copper-hoppers come in hopping.]

• Mr. Turner: Vote for me!
• Random TV Reporter: What are you planning to do for the crumbling Dimmsdale Dam?
• Mr. Turner: Not my problem!

[Mrs. Turner comes in with her hovercraft and crashes on a TV reporter van.]

• 'Mr. Turner: Congratulations, Mrs. Mayor!

[Mr. Turner gives Mrs. Turner her tiara and sash.]

• Mrs. Turner: Oh! As Mrs. Mayor, I decree that whenever you see me you have to say: Auuga! And make wolf whistles.
• Random Citizen: But my wife will throw me out.
• Mrs. Turner: Not my problem!

[Everyone cheers while saying Auuga.]

• Timmy: And, as the mayor’s son, I declare that the school day be shortened to five minutes! And that five minutes is recess. Booyah!
• Chloe: But there’ll be no time to learn anything.
• Timmy: Not my problem!

[Chloe and Timmy enter Mrs. Turner's hovercraft and are driven to the school playground.]

• Mrs. Turner: Have a good day!
• Random student: Hey! It’s the kid who shortened the school day to five minutes.
• All kids: [Cheering] Mayor’s Kid! Mayor’s Kid!
• Mr. Crocker: Oh! My favourite student!
• Chloe: Hi Mr. Crocker!
• Mr. Crocker: Oh, not you, blondie! The mayor’s kid! His father controls the town budget, and therefore my salary. Anyhoo, you got an A on your book report, Turner.
• Timmy: But I didn’t do it.
• Mr. Crocker: I did it for you! It was your best work ever!
• Timmy: Things are going great! I’m getting straight A’s and everyone follows me around and takes my picture.

[Paparazzi are taking pictures.]

[The school bell rings.]

• Mr. Crocker: Day’s over, yippee! I hate kids!

[Inside the Mayor's office.]

• Mr. Turner: It’s time to pass some laws. Are you with me Yes-men?
• Yes-men: Yes!
• Mr. Turner: I hereby decree that all streets in Dimmsdale will be named “Dad Highway”. Because it’s dad’s way or the highway! See what I did there?
• Yes-men: Yes!
• Mr. Turner: Also, I'll cut daily commute times by making all traffic lights permanently green! Is that crazy?
• Yes-men: Yes!
• Mr. Turner: Not my problem!

[Timmy is entering his house.]

• Timmy: Bye Chloe! Bye paparazzi!

[the paparazzi continue to take pictures.]

• Timmy: I said bye! No more pictures!

[Timmy tries to close the door but fails.]

• Timmy: Ah!

[Timmy succesfully closes the door and goes to his room.]

• Timmy: Boy, when I wished for my Dad to be mayor, I really didn’t see this whole paparazzi thing coming.
• Cosmo: Yeah, just like Dinkleberg didn’t see Mr. Crocker and his mother coming.

[Dinkleberg is seen caught in a trap.]

• Mr. Crocker: No-one makes a field stare like you, Mother! Now cut him down! We’ll split the twenty grand and go our separate ways!
• Wanda: What do you say we go back to our regular routine, Sport? You know, where we roll our eyes while you make irresponsible wishes?
• Timmy: Awesome idea! I wish I were a sumo wrestler!

[Wish granted.]

• Cosmo: [disguised as a sumo wrestler] I'm wearing a diaper! It’s so practical!

[Paparazzi appear.]

[Cosmo & Wanda poof into fish form.]

• Timmy: Cosmo! Wanda! Why did you turn back into fish? I need your magic!

[paparazzi taking pictures.]

• Timmy: Aaaah!
• Chloe: [Reading] Mayor’s kid goes cuckoo, dresses in diaper and yells at fish. That’s the first and last time I’ll ever say that sentence.
• Timmy: Everyone thinks I am crazy. And worse yet, people saw my butt!

[Car horns are being heard while general chaos ensues due to the green traffic light law]

• Chloe: Timmy, your dad’s green light law is wreaking havoc!
• Timmy: Not my problem! My problem is that people saw my butt!
• Chloe: Well someone’s got to do something! Cosmo! Wanda! I wish I could help the copper-hoppers direct traffic!

[Wish granted.]

• Chloe: Pedestrians have the right of way!

[Chloe leaves hopping in a bunny suit.] [Paparazzi try to come in and take photos.]

• Timmy: I need to get somewhere the paparazzi can’t find us! Poof me to the middle of nowhere!

[Poof granted.]

• Cosmo: Here we are, Timmy. In nowhere! Population, one.

[The skeleton of a former inhabitant is shown.]

• Cosmo: Make that none.
• Wanda: I’d make your wish quick, Sport. People don’t survive long in this kind of heat.
• Timmy: [Visibly sweating] Huh, now that you mention it I am kind of hot. [Timmy throws out his clothes, remaining only in underpants] Can you guys poof me up some water?
• Cosmo: You got it, Timmy!

[Cosmo transforms into a toilet.]

• Cosmo: Tada!
• Timmy: Cosmo, I’m not drinking out of a toilet!
• Cosmo: Why not? Dogs do it all the time.
• Timmy: Do I look like a dog to you?

[Paparazzi start taking pictures.]

• Wanda: [Reading] Mayor’s kid a total nutjob, yells at toilet in underpants.
• Cosmo: Boy Timmy, you’ve really lost it. You might need the puppet.
• Timmy: I just need to clear my head and get away from this whole nightmare.

[Timmy opens the TV]

• Chet Ubetcha: [Laughing] And that concludes tonight’s segment of… “The Mayor’s Kid’s a Kook!”! Featuring Dimmsdale’s own local looney, Timmy Turner.
• Cosmo: Yay, Timmy! You’re famous!
• Timmy: Ah, people saw my butt again! When will the madness end?
• Wanda: Well you know, sport. You can always unwish your mayor wish.
• Timmy: I can’t do this to my Dad, being mayor makes him so happy.
• Mr. Turner: They caught Dinkleberg! Oh, I’m so happy!

[A paparazzi tries to come in to take pictures.]

• Cosmo & Wanda: Ah!

[Timmy cuts the rope from which the paparazzi is hanging and nails the window shut.]

[Another paparazzi tries to come in from a trapdoor in Timmy's room.]

• Timmy: Ah!

[Timmy nails the trapdoor shut. But another tries to come in from inside the toilet.]

• Cosmo & Wanda: Ah!

[Cosmo & Wanda transform into goldfish and Timmy flushes the toilet.]

• Timmy: I can’t believe I'm saying this, but as long as my Dad’s mayor, it’s not safe for you guys to be around me.
• Wanda: What are you saying sport?
• Timmy: I have no choice. Cosmo, Wanda, I have to give you up.
• Timmy: [Visibly sobbing] You guys will be okay. You can live with Chloe.
• Cosmo: Well, her room is cleaner.
• Wanda: Oh, Sport.
• Timmy: Let’s be strong guys, no-one cry.

[Timmy, Cosmo & Wanda start crying together.]

[Mr. Turner punches the door open with his foot.]

• Mr. Turner: Hey!
• Timmy: Ah!

[Timmy throws a pan at his Dad’s face.]

• Timmy: Oh! Sorry dad, I lost it.
• Mr. Turner: It’s okay, Timmy. I watched “The Mayor’s Kid’s a Kook!” and I heard your cheerful goodbye to your fish, and then you pretending to be your fish and answering yourself. Ha ha, Cuckoo, Cuckoo!
• Mr. Turner: [Continuing] Anyway, son. I love being mayor, but I can’t stand seeing you this sad. So, I’m going to resign. Also, I'm sick of seeing pictures of your butt.

[Dad & Timmy hug. Timmy’s dad leaves the room.] [Cosmo & Wanda transform back into fairies and they hug Timmy while he laughs.]

• Timmy: This is awesome! Now that my Dad’s not mayor, I wish the paparazzi were gone!

[Wish granted.] [Chloe is standing in the middle of the street trying to uphold traffic while four cars are coming down to her. The traffic lights come back, thus saving her.]

• Chet Ubetcha: This is Chet Ubetcha with breaking news! Timmy’s dad has resigned as mayor. Everything is back to normal! And by normal, I mean we have a mayor who lives with a goat that's an international rap start!

[Mr. Turner gives back the sash and tiara to the Mayor.]

• Chompy: Beh-eh-eh!
• Mayor: Chompy won a people’s goat award!

[Chompy eats the award.]

• Chloe: I’m still glad we wished for your dad to be mayor.
• Timmy: People saw my butt!
• Mr. Turner: Oh Timmy!

[Cosmo & Wanda transform into goldfish.]

• Mr. Turner: I found a new way to get respect, being a good dad. Also, by being a test subject for a new heir growth formula. It’s called “Crazy hair”.

[Timmy’s dad drinks the formula, getting insane heir growth.]

• Mr. Turner: Help! My hair is crazy! Ahh!

[Timmy’s dad falls down the window.]

• Mrs. Turner: Ouch!
• Mr. Turner: I’m okay! Your mom broke my fall!
• Timmy: Not my problem!

[The episode ends]

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