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This article is a transcript of the Fairly OddParents episode "Kung Timmy" from Season 3, which aired on May 29, 2003.
Script[]
[The episode begins with Timmy, bobbing up and down. Then, the camera spins to reveal Francis, holding Timmy upside down by his ankles, shaking him as a group of students watch.]
- Francis: Gimme your lunch money, Turner.
[Items falls from Timmy's pockets.]
- Timmy: Can this humiliation get any worse?
[Kids laughs at Timmy as Tootie steps into the scene.]
- 'Tootie: You leave Timmy Turner, my one true love, alone! You big grey bully!
[Kids resumes laughing as Timmy.]
- Mr. Turner: (Driving by the school) Ah, Timmy's school. There's nothing I like better than catching fleeting glimpses of my son growing into the confident young man I know he'll be. (The kids wave at him, and he sees Francis holding Timmy upside down) Suffering staplers! (Steps on his brake)
- Francis: You're gonna let a little girl fight your battles for you, Turner?
- Timmy: Uh, only if she wins.
- Mr. Turner: You put my boy down, you big grey bully!
- Francis: Aw, your daddy's here to fight for you, too.
- Mr. Turner: I can't fight you, animal boy. You're a child, a big, scary horrifying child. (Francis eats a fly) And children, no matter how horrifying, need to be handled tenderly, (Tosses Timmy aside) But I can give you a good stern talking to while I get my son's lunch money back.
- Wanda: Sweetie, you, okay?
- Timmy: No. Is there anything worse than having your dad fight your battles for you?
- Cosmo: Yeah. Having him lose your battles for you.
- Mr. Turner: Give me your lunch money. That horrifying, grey kid took mine. (Timmy gives his dad the money, then runs over to beat up Francis again, but gets thrown onto a tree) and he took the car, apparently, I need to enhance my talking skills. (Rolls up his sleeve.)
- Wanda: Maybe your dad should quit before he loses something else.
- Timmy: What's left to take?
[The scene cuts to the turner's house where it shows that Francis has taken their deed to their house]
- Francis: Ha, thanks for the house, losers.
- Mr. Turner: Hey, look on the bright side, we can always stay in the treehouse.
- Mrs. Turner: WHAT?! We are NOT living in a treehouse!
- Tootie: Timmy! I couldn't help overhearing your dilemma, you can always stay with me.
- Timmy: I'll get the sleeping bags!
[The scene fades into a treehouse with a sunset, when Timmy and his dad learns Kung-Fu.]
- Mr. Turner: Timmy, it's time I teach you to fight your own battles, and more importantly, my battles!
- Mr. Turner: I'm going to whip you into fighting shape with this!
- Timmy: "The Stupid Dad's Guide To Teaching His Weak And Defenseless Son Kung Fu!"?
- Mr. Turner: This book will teach you how to use your body and your mind as ultra powerful weapons!
- Mr. Turner: You need both to be a master with kung fu!
- Mr. Turner: Good thing I landed on this nice soft mom!
[The scene fades into Timmy dressed up as a kung fu warrior]
- Timmy: (opens book) "Rule #1: Kung Fu must always used defensively: never for vengeance!".
- Timmy: To heck with that, I'm going to kick his butt! Hi-yyyah! And get my dignity back.
- Wanda: But, Timmy, you don't know anything about kung fu.
- Cosmo: Or dignity.
- Timmy: Yet, but since I have to have a balance of body and mind to be a kung fu master, and I just so happen to have Fairly Godparents, I wish you were my kate belt, giving me super kung fu physical prowess, and I wish you were my headband of amazing kung fu knowledge!
[The scene cuts when Cosmo and Wanda making a wish, and Kung Poof! Timmy as a kung fu master.]
- Timmy: Hi-yyyah! Hi-yyyah! Yyyah! (Francis statue pops up) Hi-yyyyah! Awesome! I have amazing kung fu powers! If only I had something to practice on.
- Old man: Help!
- Timmy: There's not a minute to lose! Hi-yyyah!
- Old man: Help, I said help! We can't cut our meat!