|The Fairly OddParents episode transcript|
|"Just the Two of Us!"|
|Airdate:||October 3rd, 2003|
[The episode begins at an ice-skating rink. Trixie is seen skating first. Next, a couple is seen skating, but the girl is launched away when the two try to spin around. Timmy, Chester, and A.J. who are standing nearby where the girl lands.]
A.J.: Ice skating sure is fun. Especially when you have automatic training blades!
Chester: Or, you don't have skates!
Timmy: I know! This is gonna be the best day of skating ever!
Announcer: Alright, it's time for couples skate! Boys, go partner up with that special girl so you won't look like one of the only losers without a date.
[As the announcer is speaking, several heart-shaped lights begin appearing around the rink. After he is done, a heart-shaped disco ball appears out of the ceiling. Timmy, Chester, A.J., and Chester are the only people on-screen that are not seen skating without a date.]
Timmy: Oh no! We're the only people without dates!
Chester: What do you mean, we? I brought my "Emergency Couples Skating Kit"!
[Chester pulls out a paper bag that contains a wig and makeup and tears off his jacket to reveal a dress.]
Chester: You better call me after this.
[Chester skates away with A.J.. Timmy then goes off to the side of the rink, where Cosmo and Wanda appear.]
Timmy: Ah! What am I gonna do?
Cosmo: Is the answer "be humiliated?"
Wanda: Not necessarily. Look, there's Trixie! Why don't you ask her?
Timmy: Hey, you're right! Even though she's shot me down every time I've asked before, this could be her big chance to do it on ice!
[Timmy quickly skates Trixie, who is standing alone. However, right before he gets there, she snaps her fingers, and right on cue, a large number of boys crowd around her.]
Group of Boys: Gosh you're pretty!
[Timmy runs into the crowd and is covered in snow by another nearby skater.]
Chester: Face it dude, the only way Trixie would skate with you is if you were the only boy in the whole school. [To A.J.] Hey, watch the hands!
[Everyone except Timmy leaves the scene. Timmy's anger melts the snow surrounding him, then Cosmo and Wanda appear.]
Timmy: That's it! I wish I was the only boy in school!
Wanda: Careful with that wish, sport. Being alone with someone for a long time can get annoying if it's not the right person.
Cosmo: What are you trying to say? Are you leaving me? I thought you loved me!
[Every boy in the rink is poofed away.]
Timmy: Awesome! Now that I'm the only boy in school, Trixie will have no choice but to spend time with me!
[Timmy once again skates towards Trixie, but runs into the butt of a boy who isn't from his school.]
French Kid: Bonjour, mademoiselle. I am a French boy from a French school. Therefore, not from your school at all! Shall we skate while I tell you how pretty you are, cherie?
[Cosmo and Wanda re-appear, with Cosmo holding onto Wanda tightly.]
Wanda: You should have been more specific.
Timmy: Alright! How about... I wish I was the last boy on Earth!
Wanda: [To Cosmo] Do you mind?
[Every boy on Earth, including the French kid, is poofed away.]
Timmy: Finally, Trixie will be mine!
[For a third time, Timmy skates towards Trixie, but runs into Mark Chang.]
Mark: Woah, sorry about that. Earth female! As you can see from my gelatinous body, and many wavy tentacles, I am clearly not a boy of this Earth. Shall we slide around on this bed of frozen liquid that is somehow clearly amusing to you Earth people?
Timmy: Oh, give me a break! How about... I wish Trixie and I were the only two humans and/or intelligent life-forms on Earth besides my fairy god parents, and Trixie didn't question why!
Wanda: Now you're being specific!
Cosmo: I can be specific too! About some things!
[Everyone on Earth, including everyone in the rink other than Trixie or Timmy, is poofed away. A tumbleweed passes by the Taj Mahal and Great Wall, and a pizza floats by the leaning tower of pisa, with no one being shown nearby any of the aforementioned landmarks. Trixie walks out of the skating rink.]
Trixie: Hello? Anybody here? Hello?
Timmy: Weird, huh? It's like we're the last two people on Earth!
[Trixie picks up Timmy, and worriedly begins to look around for other people.]
Trixie: But that means there are less people around to adore me. I need somebody to adore me!
Timmy: Uh, I'm here!
Trixie: Okay! [laughs] Don't ever leave my side!
[Trixie begins to laugh again, but this time her eye starts to twitch. Timmy looks at her nervously.]
Trixie: Say it!
Timmy: Uh... wow you're pretty!
Trixie: Phew! Thank you! Come on, let's have some fun and do stuff while you complement and adore me.
[Trixie carries Timmy off screen. The two are then seen in the school, driving go-karts around the hallway and cafeteria.]
Trixie: Timmy, honk your horn!
Timmy's horn: Gosh you're pretty! Gosh you're pretty!
Trixie's horn: I know! I know!
[Trixie starts to do a crazed laugh again as they drive off screen. The two are then seen in the library making lots of noise.]
[Trixie throws her air-horn off-screen and speaks to Timmy in a megaphone.]
Trixie: Now, tell me I'm pretty!
Timmy: You're pretty!
[Trixie laughs and shoves the megaphone into Timmy's mouth.]
Trixie: Say it again!
Timmy: You're pretty?
[Trixie grabs Timmy and takes him off-screen.]
Trixie: Come on!
[The two are seen walking out of the school.]
Trixie: This has been so great being the only two people on Earth. I'm hungry. [grabs Timmy] Feed me and tell me I'm pretty!
Timmy: I have an idea!
[The scene cuts to Wall 2 Wall Mart, which is shown to be a mess outside. Trixie is shown sitting on a pile of shoes inside the store.]
Trixie: Timmy you've made me so happy! We were meant to be together, forever and ever and ever!
[The scene shifts to the right, where Timmy is grilling burgers. Cosmo and Wanda also appear as burgers.]
Wanda: Well sport, what do you say you wish everything back to normal before you-know-who gets a little you-know-what?
Cosmo: You-know-who? You're talking about me, aren't you? Why do you hate me? [Timmy flips him over] Aaahhh!
Timmy: No way! I love this! I'm never gonna un-wish this wish!
Trixie: Timmy, where are you snook-ums?
Timmy: Right here, angel!
[Timmy walks up to Trixie, who is staring at him with bloodshot eyes.]
Trixie: Where did you go? Why aren't you here complementing me?
Timmy: I just did?
Trixie: Not in that last sentence! [Trixie picks up Timmy and starts to shake him]
[Two hours later, Timmy is shown walking out of the bathroom. He runs into Trixie shortly afterwards.]
Trixie: I missed you! Did you miss me? Where did you go!? [eye twitches]
Timmy: Uh... the boys room?
[Trixie picks up Timmy by his ear]
Trixie: Don't lie to me. Who's in there? What's her name? [drops Timmy] Tell me I'm pretty!
[Two more hours later, Timmy is shown opening a door and walking into the electronics section.]
Timmy: She'll never look in here. Women hate electronics!
[Trixie suddenly appears on all the TV screens]
Trixie: Why aren't you wearing the sweater I picked out for you in the junior men's department!?
[Two MORE hours later, Trixie is seen looking around, holding a baseball bat. She whacks a stack of soup cans, which scatter and reveal Timmy hiding under them.]
Timmy: I was just getting some... uh... soup! We're all out of cream of gosh-you're-pretty, and I now I'm off to get a box of "I gotta get outta here" cereal!
Trixie: Hurry back!
[Trixie knocks the head off of a nearby mannequin with the bat.]
Timmy: Oh man, she's gone nuts!
[Wanda poofs into the scene]
Wanda: Timmy, I'm not one to gloat, but... I told you so, I told you so! [laughs briefly, then Timmy tries to speak] Wait, wait, I'm not done! [laughs more] Okay I'm done! [Timmy once again tries to speak] Go Wanda! Go Wanda! Go Wanda!
Trixie: Timmy! What's taking so long?
Timmy: Trixie's used to having hundreds of boys adoring her. With just me here she wants me to adore her as much as hundreds of boys! I gotta get out of this relationship! I gotta unwish this wish!
Wanda: Good idea!
[Cosmo poofs into the scene.]
Cosmo: Oh, so you're with him again! She's mine pal! Back off, punk!
[Cosmo poofs away with Wanda.]
Timmy: Auto parts! She'll never look in here!
[Timmy tries to hide in the tires, but Trixie happens to be hiding under there, too. She grabs Timmy's arm and begins to drag him away.]
Timmy: Can't break free! Only one thing to do!
Trixie: Sweetie, you're not trying to gnaw your own arm off like a trapped coyote, are you!?
Timmy: Huh? Oh, no no no, I was just thinking... you know... ugh... I guess I have to do this the hard way.
Trixie: Do what the hard way? Are you breaking up with me!?
Timmy: Oh, man! I never thought I'd say this, but... yes, I am. I'm breaking up with you.
Trixie: [lifts Timmy into the air] I knew it! You were trying to chew your arm off in a desperate attempt at freedom!
Timmy: Trixie, it's not you, it's me. Well, actually it is you, too much of you! I need some time for myself! You can understand that, can't you?
Trixie: Sure, and you can understand that if I can't have you, NOBODY CAN!
[Trixie throws Timmy like a bowling ball into a rack of gardening tools. She then appears holding a buzzsaw.]
Trixie: Am I pretty!?
[Timmy runs away]
Timmy: Note to self: never break up with a girl in the violent gardening tools section! Gotta find Cosmo and Wanda and unwish this wish!
[Timmy hears a tractor, which Trixie is driving towards him in an attempt to run him over.]
Trixie: Love hurts! [suddenly holds up a bag of mulch labeled "Love Hurts Mulch" and starts talking in a sweeter tone.] And it makes a fine mulch for your lawn or garden!
[Timmy dodges the tractor by jumping off-screen. Wanda poofs into the scene once Timmy lands on the ground.]
Wanda: Timmy, you need to wish fast because...
Cosmo: Timmy, Timmy, Timmy. What about my needs!?
[Cosmo once again poofs the two away. Timmy is then shown in the sporting goods section, hiding behind a cardboard standee.]
Timmy: I couldn't throw her off in auto parts, but I should be safe in sporting goods!
[A baseball knocks the head off of the standee.]
Trixie: If you're keeping score, it's fifteen-love. Or should I say, love-less!?
Timmy: Uh, you're pretty?
Trixie: That's not going to work anymore! But thank you, though.
[Trixie plugs in a cord that activates several pitching machines. Timmy manages to ward them off for a while by spinning golf clubs, and flees shortly afterwards.]
Timmy: Cosmo! Wanda!
[Trixie appears yet again, this time piloting an army helicopter.]
Timmy: Oh, come on! Is there anything they don't sell here?
Trixie: Oh Timmy... since it's technologically impossible for me to miss you... I'll miss you!
[Trixie uses the helicopter's targeting system to lock onto Timmy, and pushes a button to fire a missile. However, instead of firing a missile, a harmless flag appears out of the capsule with the words "Missiles sold separately" printed on it.]
Trixie: Missiles sold separately?
[Trixie begins flying the helicopter towards Timmy. While this is happening, Cosmo poofs him and Wanda into the book section of the store.]
Cosmo: Heh, we're in the book section. Timmy would never look here!
Wanda: Cosmo, stop! I've been with you for more than 10,000 years. Don't you think if I wanted to leave I'd have left by now?
Wanda: Oh I love you, you idiot! Now give me a hug!
Cosmo: Agh! Can't break free... suffocating! Ah, I need my space! Is this what it's like for Timmy? Ooh, I gotta unwish this wish!
[Cut back to Timmy, who is still running away from Trixie's helicopter. Midway through the chase, Trixie makes the helicopter do a 360 in an attempt to slice him with the helicopter's tail rotor, but Timmy ducks under it. He eventually manages to hide behind a deli stand, where Cosmo and Wanda meet him.]
Cosmo: Hi Timmy! Woah, talk about your messy breakups.
Wanda: Quick, unwish the wish!
Cosmo: Quit following me! Aah!
[Cosmo moves out of the way as the helicopter's tail rotor slams into the wall. It begins to descend towards Timmy's head]
Timmy: I wish all the people on Earth were back. And by people I mean people and aliens! [The rotor cuts off the tip of his hair] And I wish Trixie didn't remember any of this!
[Cosmo and Wanda poof everyone back onto Earth. People are shown nearby the Leaning Tower of Pisa and the Taj Mahal. Mark Chang appears in front of the White House.]
Mark: I'm back! A hostile alien bent on taking over the world!
[Several government agents quickly handcuff all of Mark's tentacles]
Mark: I mean... a harmless girl scout! Who wants cookies!?
[The scene cuts back to Timmy, who is in science class with A.J. and Chester.]
Timmy: I never though I'd say this, but, yay other people!
[At the side of the room, Trixie is surrounded by several boys.]
Group of Boys: Gosh you're pretty!
[Cuts back to Timmy.]
Timmy: But I am done with couples stuff for a while. It's just gonna be about me, me, me!
Mr. Crocker: Good news, class. Today is romantic lab partner day. Choose your partners!
[A scene similar to the one in the ice rink occurs, with heart shaped spotlights shining on Timmy, Chester, and A.J.]
A.J.: Quick, grab the "Emergency Romantic Lab Partner Kit"!
[Chester once again uses a paper bag to pull out a wig, but Timmy steals it from him and kicks him away. A.J. hugs him.]
A.J.: [In Trixie's voice] Tell me I'm pretty!
[Cosmo and Wanda poof into the scene]
Wanda: Oh, poor Timmy. Maybe someday he'll figure out he needs to get with someone he has the right chemistry with! Get it, Cosmo?
Cosmo: Stop breathing my air! [Starts to gnaw on his arm] It's not me, it's you. [Continues to gnaw on arm.]
[Screen fades to black and the end title card appears.]
Trixie: Tell me I'm pretty!