|The Fairly OddParents episode transcript|
|Airdate:||October 18, 2003|
- [The episode begins with an inside view of the Turners' oven.]
Mrs. Turner: 375°. [Mrs. Turner leans towards the oven.] That will be the perfect temperature to make my [Mrs. Turner puts a pie in the oven.] award-winning "Yamberry Pie".
- [Mrs. Turner closes the oven door as Timmy walks into the room, holding a yellow box.]
Timmy: Hey, Mom, wanna play Surgeon General? [Timmy turns around the box to show the front.] It's a game where any ten-year old can be a professional military surgeon!
- [Cut to a close-up of the front of the box. Cosmo can be seen with only his underwear on, with three holes in his stomach.]
Cosmo: Hey! My bowels have been moved!
Mrs. Turner: Timmy, I'd love to play but i'm waiting for the pie to bake.
[Cut to a close-up of the "Yamberry Pie" in the oven. Mrs. Turner appears with a hat with a pie on, and two flags. One reads 'Go', and the other reads 'Pie!'.]
Mrs. Turner: Go, pie, go!
- [Timmy walks away from Mrs. Turner. Mr. Turner walks into the room holding a purple lawn chair and a blue cooler.]
Timmy: Dad? You wanna play?
Mr. Turner: Ooh, I'd love to, Timmy.
- [Timmy smiles.]
Mr. Turner: But word on the street is that your Mom has [Mr. Turner drops the cooler.] front-row seats [Mr. Turner unfolds the lawn chair and sits down on it.] to watch the pie bake!
- [Mr. Turner is now wearing a hat shaped like a slice of pie and is holding the same flags that Mrs. Turner is.]
Mr. Turner: Go, pie, go!
- [Fade to Timmy's bedroom. Timmy is shown holding the Surgeon General box.]
Timmy: [sighs] [Timmy puts down the box.] You know, it's days like this [Cosmo and Wanda poof from the box, and while Wanda is in her normal clothing again, Cosmo still isn't wearing a shirt and still has three holes in his stomach.] where I really miss Gary.
Cosmo: It's days like this that I really miss my spleen. [Cosmo is poofed back into his normal attire.]
Wanda: Who's Gary?
Cosmo: Gary. You know, Gary? Remember, from the party?
- [Timmy reaches under his bed and pulls out a box.]
Cosmo: Timmy, who's Gary?
- [Cut to the top of the box. There is writing that reads 'Timmy's Stuff Age 5'. Timmy opens the box, and inside are some plastic bricks, mini logs, a bag of marbles, a barrel of monkeys, jacks, a photo album called 'A Life in Pictures, and a drawing.]
Cosmo: What's all this stuff?
Timmy: This is the stuff I used to play with when I was five. [Timmy pulls out the drawing from the box.] And this, [We see a close-up of the drawing. It is of Timmy and Gary.] is my imaginary friend, Gary. He was cool. Before I had you guys, I used to play with him [Timmy pulls out the photo album from the box.] all the time!
- [We see a picture of Timmy on a see-saw with an empty seat on the other side.]
Timmy: There's me and Gary on the teeter-totter.
- [We then see another picture, this time with Timmy wearing a football helmet and holding a bat standing by a door, ready to attack.]
Timmy: And me and Gary getting ready to beat up the monster in my closet.
- [Next, we see a picture of Timmy at a therapist.]
Timmy: And me and Gary in therapy!
- [Cosmo and Wanda look at each other. We see a picture of Timmy in the bathtub holding a rubber duck, looking at an invisible object which is likely Gary.]
Timmy: Whenever I was alone [Pan upwards to another picture of Timmy lying down in bed, looking at Gary (who is invisible as he is part of Timmy's imagination)] and needed somebody to play with Gary was always there. [Timmy points at his faries.] And you guys could bring him here! [Timmy pulls out the drawing.] I wish my imaginary friend, Gary, was real!
- [Cosmo and Wanda look at each other, then wave their wands. The drawing begins to sparkle as Gary begins to fly out of it. The drawing of Gary is then surrounded by a whirlwind of magic, then the screen turn to white as a poof of smoke appears that reads 'Imaginary'. Gary, who is now real, is standing in Timmy's room.]
Gary: [gasps] Huh, what? I'm free? Finally! [Gary points at Timmy.] You! I mean. It's you, [Gary points rapidly at Timmy.] Timm-eh. What's up, pink hat?
Timmy: Gary, It's you! [Timmy hugs Gary. Gary shoves Timmy away.]
Gary: Hey, woah woah, hey. Public displays of affection are not cool.
Wanda: Wow! That's one cool kid.
Cosmo: Of course he's cool. It's Gary! You know, Gary? From the wish, in the bedroom, we were all there. Remember? [laughs] Gary! Oh, good times, good times.
- [Gary is dipping a comb in Cosmo and Wanda's fishbowl.]
Gary: Thanks, Cos. Thanks, Wan. Your beautiful, both of ya.
- [Timmy gets a bike out of his toybox.]
Timmy: I can't wait to ride bikes, [He then gets a checkers board out of the toybox] play checkers, [Finally, he gets a kite out.] and fly kites with you.
Gary: Kites? Games? Checkers? Also not cool.
Timmy: Then, what is cool?
[Cut back to Mr. and Mrs. Turner watching the "Yamsberry Pie" bake in the oven.]
Timmy: Dad? Can we borrow the car?
Mr. Turner: Sure! Just have it back by tomorrow. [Mr. Turner throws the keys to Timmy.] I have to go to work.
- [Timmy is just about to catch the keys, when Mrs. Turner grabs them in midair.]
Mrs. Turner: Timmy! Your not old enough to ask for the car. Or drive it.
Timmy: But Gary and I wanna go to the arcade.
Mrs. Turner (worried): Gary? Your-your imaginary friend? Is he back?
Mr. Turner: I thought we got rid of him in therapy!
Gary (off-screen): Hey.
- [Pan to the left to show Gary standing by the kitchen door.]
Gary: Mr. and Mrs. T.
- [Mr. and Mrs. Turner look at Gary, very shockingly. Gary walks over to them.]
Mrs. Turner: I guess he wasn't imaginary, after all.
- [Gary picks up an apple, tosses it to his right hand, has it slide across his back, and has it flip in midair as he catches it when it falls. He then eats the apple almost whole in one bite. Gary throws the apple core away.]
Mr. and Mrs. Turner: Go, Gary, go!
- [Timmy catches the apple core, then he smiles as he replicates Gary's trick. We then see three buttons on top of the oven that read 'Hot', 'Real Hot', and 'Nuclear Hot'. The apple core lands on the Nuclear Hot button. The buttons glows red as it is hit and the oven begins to beep. The oven then explodes, with only the now burnt pie, and the bottom of the oven intact. Timmy looks at the oven (which is off-screen).]
- [Fade to Dimmsdale Elementary School. The screen pans into the school playground. We see Chester, A.J. and Sanjay. Chester is holding a possum by it's tail. He then shoves it, causing it to swing.]
Chester: I just wish Timmy was here to see this.
- [Chester, A.J., and Sanjay look at something, with their mouths open with awe. We see Timmy and Gary walking down the playground. Gary looks at Timmy evilly, and trips him up with his leg.]
Timmy: Yaahhh! [Timmy lands on his head, bounces back up, lands on his head again, and finally lands with his mouth open, but skids and gets dirt and grass in his mouth.]
A.J: Wow, that's one cool kid.
[Gary moonwalks to Chester.]
Gary: Possums, [Gary points to the possum with both of his hands.] cool.
- [Chester gasps, then faints. Timmy spits out the dirt and grass, which forms a sandcastle.]
Timmy: Hey, guys! I see you've met my old friend, Gary. Whose here, with me.
Chester, A.J and Sanjay: Gary...
Timmy: So, how about we all play Surgeon General?
Gary: Ah, board games. Uncool. [Gary points to A.J, Chester, and Sanjay.] C'mon, little rascals. Let's go do something cool.
Chester, A.J, and Sanjay: Cool!
- [Gary, Chester, A.J, and Sanjay run out of the playground.]
Timmy: Guys, um, guys!?
- [We see Wanda on the Surgeon General box, dressed up as a nurse.]
Wanda (on the Surgeon General box): Wow, Timmy. All your friends seem to be impressed with Gary.
Timmy: Yeah, a little too impressed.
- [Cosmo is missing from the Surgeon General box.]
Timmy: Hey, where's Cosmo?
- [Cut to Gary, and Timmy's friends. They are walking slowly past the playground. Cosmo, as a green dog is seen behind them.]
Cosmo: Cool. I mean, meow. I mean, arf. Yeah, let's go with that one.
- [Fade to the school cafeteria. Timmy is holding a tray behind the lunch counter, in a line with other children. Cosmo and Wanda are disguised as green and pink cartons of milk, respectively. The lunch lady drops some mashed potatoes onto Timmy's tray, which land on Cosmo and Wanda. Somebody's arm taps Timmy's shoulder. Timmy turns around to see Trixie Tang behind him.]
Trixie: [waves to Timmy.] Hi!
- [Timmy, who doesn't know where the voice came from, checks behind the lunch counter and below him.]
Trixie: No, silly. I said hi to you.
- [Trixie turns Timmy's head around. Timmy smiles.]
Trixie: Yeah, um. I know you have a crush on me [Trixie tickles Timmy's ear.] and I was wondering if you wouldn't mind-
- [Timmy's pupils turn into hearts.]
Timmy (quickly): Going steady? Taking you to a dance? Being sweethearts to high-school? Going to college together? Getting married? Remaining deeply in love as we grow really old together and spend our golden years traveling the world and studying our lifespan with the advanced technology that will be available in the future till we eventually crumble into atoms and are scattered across the cosmos and we'll float together for all eternity?
- [Trixie looks at Timmy, shocked.]
Trixie: Um... no. Introducing me to your cool new friend.
- [Gary is sitting on a lunch table. Loads of children are looking at Gary, fascinated by what he is talking about.]
Gary: And who wears pink hats, anyway, huh?
- [The children surronding the lunch table laugh. Gary points at a group of children, and they sigh as they proceed to faint. Gary does the same to the rest of the children.]
Timmy: Alright. that's it! [Timmy walks over to Gary.] Can I talk to you for a second? Outside!?
Gary: Sure, I guess it's OK. Talkin' uncool kids is cool sometimes, right? Am I right? Whose the man, huh? Can I hear a whoop-whoop?
Children: Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, [Cosmo (who is still a dog) is seen in the crowd. He is woofing instead of whooping.] whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, [Timmy scowls at the whooping.] whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop.
[Fade to the school playground. Gary is walking down a path, with Timmy following. Gary clicks his fingers in front of some girls, causing them to sigh, then faint.]
Timmy: What's the deal? Ever since you've been here, all you've been doing is winning over my friends, my family, and my not-girlfriend. I thought you were supposed to be my friend.
Gary: Hey, hey, woah, woah, hey. Your just mythed because people would rather hang with me than you. Maybe your the one who should be the imaginary friend! Y'ok there, [Gary gets a comb out of his pocket.] Captain Kabooky?
Timmy: Or maybe you've [Timmy snatches Gary's comb off of him.] overstayed your welcome. I wish Gary was back at the house.
- [Cosmo and Wanda wave their wands]
Gary: And I wish I wasn't!
- [Cosmo and Wanda put their wands down.]
Timmy: What the heck?
Cosmo: Since Gary's from your imagination, he's a part of you. All the cool parts, anyway.
Wanda: And because of that we have to listen to him, too!
Gary: Co-ol. They even listen to me better then they listen to you.
Cosmo and Wanda: No we don't.
Cosmo and Wanda: OK!
Timmy: That's it. You're going back! I wish he was back in my mind!
Gary: And I wish he was there with me!
- [Cosmo and Wanda wave their wands and zap Timmy's mind with two rays of magic. Timmy's pupils shrink and he begins to slump. A purple ray of magic surrounds Gary as he is sucked back into Timmy's imagination. Timmy is then sucked into this portal, as well.]
- [Timmy's brain is seen, rotating against a black background. The screen pans inside inside Timmy's brain, and inside we see Timmy standing.]
Timmy: Hey? What gives? Where am I?
Wanda: We're in your imagination, Timmy. That's what you and Gary wished for.
Cosmo: You sure it's not my mind? It seems pretty empty in here.
Timmy: I've got a bad feeling about this.
- [A yellow barrel rolls over to Timmy, Cosmo, and Wanda. The barrel splits in half and red toy monkeys pour out of it. Timmy, Cosmo, and Wanda scream. The monkeys form a chain and tie Cosmo and Wanda up.]
Timmy: I wish-
- [A group of Teebie-Tubbies hop over to Cosmo and they block his ears as he screams. They do the same thing to Wanda.
Timmy: Oh-no, they can't hear me! So I can't wish my way out of here!
- [The ground rumbles as a box emerges from the ground. Gary is standing on top of it.]
Gary: Which is cool. Ya dig this? This is the box you put me in for five years! And that's not cool, boo-boo. [Gary snaps a comb in half. Two pieces fall on the ground that read "Un-breakable".] Get him!
- [The box grows a mouth and hisses. Timmy screams and runs away. The box bites into the ground. Gary bounces and picks up a red rubber ball.]
Gary: Oh, no you don't! [A set of jacks and rubber balls float into the air. A tidal wave of jacks and rubber balls appear behind the box. Gary commands the tidal wave to hit Timmy. Timmy screams as he is hit by the tidal wave. A tower of giant bricks builds next to Timmy, trapping him inside. Gary jumps on top of the tower.] Ha-ha. Yeah, baby.
Timmy: Gary? Why?
Gary: You stopped playing with me five years ago. You threw me aside when you got real friends, like I was one of your old toys! Remember these, Tim-Tim? [Gary commands a stack of toys and throws them inside the brick tower.]
Timmy: [A stacking log drops next to Timmy.] Stacking logs. [A Teebie-Tubbies plush drops next to Timmy.] Teebie-Tubbies. [A sock puppet drops on Timmy's face.] Sock puppets! [The rest of the toys drop onto Timmy. Timmy's face (which is covered by a sock puppet) emerges out of the pile] Oh man! Gary's totally gonna crush me into all my stupid five-year old toys! And I'm ten, I know ten-year old stuff. And ten beats five! [Timmy's old toys continue pouring into the tower.]
Gary: And, as soon as he's out of the way, [Gary turns to Cosmo and Wanda.] I'm the only one you'll be listening to.
Cosmo: Come again?
Wanda: We can't hear anything!
- [The ground begins to rumble again. Gary looks behind him to see the tower rumbling. The tower gets destroyed by a giant Surgeon General. Cosmo, Wanda, and Gary look at Surgeon General. His chest opens up to reveal that he is a robot being controlled by Timmy.]
Timmy: Hi, Gary. Meet my pal, the Surgeon General, only for use by kids ten and up! [Timmy attempts to crush Gary with the Surgeon General's spiked boot. Gary runs away. Timmy jumps out of the Surgeon General robot.] And this is my mind!
Gary: [screams] Hey, hey, hey, hey. Easy, dude. Remember all the good times we had? [A pink door floats down next to Gary.] The teeter-totter? Ducky Land? Therapy? The monster in the closet?! [Gary clicks his fingers. The monster in the closet appears from inside the door and growls. Timmy screams.]
Timmy: Hey? Wait, I'm not afraid of that, because when I was six, I learned it wasn't a monster in my closet. It was just a sweater.
- [The monster turns into a green sweater.]
Timmy: [Timmy catches the sweater.] And do you know what I learned at eight? I learned what a real monster was like. [Timmy throws the sweater into the air. It stays in place. A hand grows out of one of the sleeves. Another hand grows out of the other sleeve. A pair of legs complete with pants and shoes grow out of the bottom of the sweater. Vicky's head emerges out of the top of the sweater.] Gary, Vicky. Vicky, Gary.
Gary: [screams] Not cool, broo-bee. [screams again] No! Don't! [Vicky picks up Gary. Gary shudders.]
Vicky: Twerp! [Vicky chews Gary and proceeds to swallow him.]
Gary (inside of Vicky's stomach): I will get out of here. And when I do, oh-ho-ho-ho, yes, you'll pay! I swear by all that is- [Gary picks up a kernel of corn.] corn? I swear by all that is cool!
- [The toy monkeys free Cosmo and Wanda. The Teebie-Tubbies disappear from Cosmo and Wanda's ears. Vicky is wiping her lips with a napkin.]
Cosmo: I'll miss Gary. You know, Gary? From the imagination fight? I was there, and Timmy, he was there. And Wanda, you were there. Remember? Ahh, good times. Good times.
Timmy: You know, I'll sort of miss Gary too.
Vicky: Deal with it in therapy!
Timmy: I wish we were out of here!
- [Cosmo and Wanda wave their wands. A blue door appears. A red sign that reads exit is on top of the door. Timmy, Cosmo, and Wanda run out through the door. Vicky stomps her foot next to the door.]
- [Timmy's brain is seen again, rotating around a black background.]
- [Fade back to the Dimmsdale Elementary School playground. Timmy is still slumping. Cosmo and Wanda poof in front of Timmy, which wakes him up.]
Wanda: Wow, that was close!
Timmy: Yeah. But the good news is, I'm out here, and Gary. Gary's back where he belongs, inside my imagination, and no matter how cool he is, he's never getting out!
Cosmo: [pulls out a key] And I've got the key, and I locked the door. I think? Oh, whatever. [Cosmo throws away the key, and whistles nonchalantly.]
- [Fade back to Timmy's Imagination. Vicky sneezes out Gary.]
Vicky: I hate cool!
Gary: [Gary opens the "Exit" door.] Hey, the door's open, cool. [Gary laughs manically, but stops, and takes a breath.] Laughing manically, not cool.
- [The episode ends as the end title card appears.]