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The Fairly OddParents!
episode transcript
"Hex Games"
Season №: 2
Episode №: 8B
Airdate: March 1, 2002
Transcript List

This article is a transcript of the The Fairly OddParents! episode, "Hex Games" from Season 2, which aired on March 1, 2002.


Script[]

[The episode begins with kids having a great time, skating on skate ramps. Other kids are skating in a small ramp, moderate ramp, and a large ramp, An 8-Year-Old-Girl rolls on the same, small ramp and laughs. Over at the large ramp, Francis, in full skate gear, leaps off the lip of the big ramp, and rolls down at breakneck speed.]

  • Francis: WHOAH!

[The camera follows as he skates down, then rockets through the clouds and disappear into the sky. Seconds later, an astronaut in space watches as Francis orbits past him.]

  • Astronaut: Houston? We have a problem. Over.

[Back in skate ramps, Timmy with a binocular, Cosmo, and Wanda looks up in the sky, where Francis launched into the sky.]

  • Timmy: And that’s why I’m scared of the big ramp.
  • Wanda: So you and your friends pay to fall on your face at the skateboard park?
  • Timmy: Someone’s coming! Quick! I wish you guys were my skateboard gear!

[POOF! Cosmo becomes a green skate helmet, while Wanda becomes a pink skateboard. Chester lands face first right in front of Timmy.]

  • Cosmo: His whole face hit at the same time! He must be really good!

[Chester pulls himself off the ground, where his braces and teeth are mangled as A.J. enters.]

  • A.J.: Does your orthodontist buy you tickets for this place?
  • Chester: Yeah, why? (a piece of his braces falls off) Darn it!
  • Timmy: Alright, you guys... watch and learn.
  • A.J.: I like to learn!

[Timmy stands at the top of the moderate ramp and leaps onto the Wanda skateboard. The camera follows him as he perform skate tricks on the ramp.]

  • Timmy: Wow! Wow! I’ve never been this good before!
  • Wanda: Sweetie, you’ve never had magic skate gear before!

[Timmy does a complete flip in the air. As he finishes his tricks, the Wanda board stays under his feet, delivering him safely back to Earth.]

  • A.J.: (amazement) Wow, look at Timmy roll nimbly back and forth! I mean… (pulls out and reads from a skate lingo book) ...shred!

[Timmy rolls to the top, and flies into the air as he lands, still on the board, directly in front of A.J.]

  • Timmy: Beat that!

[Suddenly, Vicky, wearing a helmet with a crown on it, is on to the midsize ramp, where she does a variety of really good tricks. Then, she screeches to a halt in front of Chester, A.J. and Timmy.]

  • Vicky: That’s a little trick I call scrunching’ the munchkins!
  • Timmy: Hey! Just because you’re the best skater here, doesn’t mean you get to bounce off our heads!
  • Vicky: Actually twerp, it makes me queen of the skate-park! And as Queen, I decree... (plants a sign) “You must be at least this tall to ride this ramp.”
  • Timmy: That’s not fair!
  • Vicky: So? What are you gonna do about it?
  • Timmy: (looks down at his “Wanda” skateboard, then to Vicky) I challenge you to a skateboarding contest! Tomorrow! And whoever wins gets to be the new queen!
  • Chester: King.
  • Timmy: Good catch.
  • Vicky: Deal! But tomorrow, when I kick your butt on all three ramps, you and every other punk under 16 is banished from the skate-park for good! See ya on the big ramp, squirt!

[Timmy looks at the Big Ramp and gulps.]

  • Cosmo: You’re gonna have to skate the big ramp? Aren’t you scared, Timmy?
  • Timmy: A little, but with you guys helping me, I’ve got nothing to worry about!
  • Cosmo and Wanda: Uh...
  • Timmy: Oh, no. Not the group “Uh...” That’s usually followed by bad news like...

[Da Rules appear.]

  • Wanda: Uh... according to the rules, we can’t help you win a contest, Timmy. That’d be cheating.
  • Cosmo: We can help you show off! But for fun, not profit!
  • Timmy: I never would have challenged Vicky if I had known that! All the kids are counting on me! I still have a shot though, right?
  • Cosmo: Uh... actually, you’re pretty uncoordinated.
  • Timmy: I am not! (trips over a ladybug) OOF! I’m doomed.
  • Cosmo: What you need is some death-defying trick all your own!

[Cosmo and Wanda become a bush and a tree as A.J. and Chester enter. An easel is attached to Chester’s bigger braces.]

  • Chester: Timmy, what you need is some sort of death defying trick all your own!
  • A.J.: You need... (holds a pointer as he pulls out a huge drawing and sets it on the easel) This! It combines a 1400 degree turn with four aerial flips. I call it “The 1400 degree and four aerial flippy trick”!
  • Chester: Yeah, that rolls off the tongue, Poindexter. What about calling it “The Timmy Tuck?”

[The weight of the drawing and the easel tips Chester over. He smashes his braces on the ground again.]

  • Chester: Darn it!

[Vicky looks through binoculars.]

  • Timmy: Call it impossible! I can’t do this!
  • Vicky: (observes through binoculars and copies Timmy's trick on a paper) But I can! I can’t wait to totally steal that trick and make it mine! It’s good to be the Queen!

[On a mid-size ramp, Timmy, now using a normal skateboard and helmet, flies into frame headfirst. Cosmo and Wanda as rats are at a garbage can as Cosmo eats out of a garbage can. Wanda poofs a trampoline for him to land on.]

  • Wanda: (to Cosmo) He’s not good, is he?

[Timmy flies in and the trampoline bounces Timmy offscreen.]

  • Cosmo: Nope. But this garbage rocks!

[Timmy flies in again and Cosmo POOFS up a bed of nails.]

  • Timmy: AHH!

[Wanda makes it a mattress and Timmy lands on a mattress.]

  • Cosmo: Sorry.

[Cosmo and Wanda poof as a fairy.]

  • Timmy: I’ll never get good enough in time to do that trick!! I know you guys can’t help me cheat but can’t you train me? Some place I can get real good, real fast?

[Cosmo and Wanda smile at each other. Later on the moon, Cosmo and Wanda watch as Timmy, in a space suit, skates around the inside of a crater.]

  • Timmy: WOO HOO! Zero gravity is perfect for practicing spins!

[The astronaut from the space shuttle, stands in the center of the crater, observing.]

  • Astronaut: Houston? We have another problem. Over.
  • Houston: (offscreen) It’s always problem, problem, problem with you guys. Don’t you ever call to just say hi? Over.

[Timmy ramps off the crater and flies into space. Francis floats by on his skateboard, still holding his breath. Then, at a jungle, Timmy skates nimbly through the tangled terrain. Cosmo rides his shoulders, while Wanda floats near.]

  • Timmy: Skating in the jungle is a great way to learn how to swerve!
  • Cosmo: (to Timmy) Learn to skate in difficult environments you must.

[They are chased by a pack of gorillas.]

  • Cosmo: And scared of Gorillas am I!

[In the Sahara Desert, Timmy skates down a pyramid with Cosmo near.]

  • Timmy: Ramping down a pyramid is a great way to learn how to pick up speed... whoa!

[Timmy loses control and plows into the sand, then moves forward as the mound of sand grows. The mound finally stops at the foot of an Archeologist. He un-buries Timmy and pokes his body.]

  • Archeologist: Heavens! This specimen is perfectly preserved!
  • Timmy: (to Archeologist) Do you mind? I’m still using this.
  • Archeologist: Ah! The Mummy’s curse!

[Timmy sits on the dirt and Cosmo and Wanda poof.]

  • Timmy: Aw man, I’m still beefing it on the simplest of tricks.
  • Wanda: Don’t worry, Timmy. Win or lose, your friends will still love you.
  • Timmy: Really?

[The next morning, on Chester, whose braces are now even larger and A.J.]

  • Chester: Timmy better win or we’re not gonna love him anymore.

[A large speaker is attached to Chester’s large braces.]

  • Wanda (through speaker): Welcome to the Skate-park and the big skateboarding contest!

[On Cosmo and Wanda, sitting at a commentator table, wearing headphones and talking into microphones. On Vicky, near the large ramp as her crown shines.]

  • Wanda: (offscreen) Today’s the big match between evil, 16 year-old baby-sitter/skate-punk, Vicky.

[On crowd, silent and not applauding as a cricket noise is heard.]

  • Cosmo: (offscreen) And Timmy!

[The crowd applauds wildly.]

  • Cosmo: Wait! WHERE IS TIMMY?!

[On the large ramp, Timmy is not there as the applause stops abruptly.]

  • Vicky: Ha! I knew it! I knew he’d punk out! I win by default! And you know what THAT means!

[A crowd of kids hang their heads low.]

  • Wanda: (through microphone) Where could he be?

[On the hill near the skatepark, Timmy holds his skateboard and helmet and looks sadly at the park below.]

  • Timmy: (sadly) Aw man, if I go down there, I’m gonna lose AND have to go on the big ramp! There is no way I’m gonna humiliate myself. No way...
  • Vicky: (offscreen) Awright, twerps! Line up!

[Timmy looks and sees Vicky, making a line of kids hand over their gear. One kid hands her his board and helmet.]

  • Vicky: Say bye-bye! [Chucks the chucks the helmet and board in a wood chipper, shredding it. She grabs A.J.'s skateboard, but as she was about to throw his skateboard into the wood chipper.]
  • Timmy: (offscreen) Not so fast, Vicky!

[Vicky turns to see Timmy grabs A.J.'s skateboard, and unplugs the wood chipper.]

  • Timmy: (determined) You want to win, you’re going to have to it the old-fashioned way! By being better than me!
  • Cosmo and Wanda: (offscreen) IT’S TIMMY!

[A crowd of kids cheers to Timmy as A.J. and Chester runs into scene.]

  • A.J.: Good luck, Timmy!
  • Timmy: Thanks, guys. I’ll do my best.
  • Chester: Yeah! Just remember, it’s not whether you win or lose, it’s win or we don’t ever get to come back here again.

[Starting with the first round, Vicky and Timmy climb to the top of the small ramp.]

  • Vicky: Break a leg, twerp!
  • Timmy: Thanks, Vicky!
  • Vicky: No, really. I mean break a leg.

[Timmy leaps on his board and hits the small ramp. He does a series of spins and tricks and skates into the air, off the ramp and lands on the ground as the crowd of kids cheers.]

  • Vicky: Yeah? Well, watch this! (leaps into the small ramp and her skateboard doesn't move as the crowd laughs)
  • Wanda: (offscreen) And Timmy actually wins the first round!

[In the next round, on the midsize ramp, Timmy looks at the size of the ramp, beaming. Vicky spins a few times in the air and then lands like a ballerina, right in front of Timmy.]

  • Vicky: Ha! Beat that, Twerp!

[Timmy climbs to the top of the ramp and starts to roll down. Vicky hits a button on a remote control and a line of spikes pop out of the ramp, shredding all four of Timmy’s tires. He slowly screeches to a halt at the bottom of the ramp.]

  • Wanda: (offscreen) And Vicky... unfortunately... wins.

[In the third and final round, on Cosmo and Wanda.]

  • Wanda: (offscreen) It all comes down to this!

[An upward shot of a large skateboard ramp is shown.]

  • Cosmo: The... Super, Colossal, Gigantic, Freakishly large... Ramp of Death!

[On terrified Timmy with A.J. and Chester, looking at the large ramp.]

  • A.J.: Don’t worry, Timmy! Just do the Timmy Tuck and you’ll be the new queen!
  • Timmy: King.
  • Chester: Whatever.
  • Vicky: (on top of the ramp) I, Vicky, am about to do the totally original, and completely mine trick... “The Vicky Tuck!”

[On Timmy, Chester, and A.J.]

  • Timmy: What?!
  • Chester: She stole your trick! This calls for some dramatic background music! (hits a button on his tooth and a trumpet pops out of his larger braces.)
  • Vicky: [Leaps onto her board, skates down the ramp, flies into the air and performs her tricks, but she starts spinning wildly out of control as her skateboard flies off.] Ahhh! (lands face first) Oof!

[On Cosmo and Wanda]

  • Wanda: Now all Timmy has to do is survive the big ramp and he wins!
  • Timmy: (walks towards the big ramp) Oh-no. The big ramp. I can’t do it! I won’t! I-

[On a crowd of kids with parachutes and a plane.]

  • Crowd: Timmy! Timmy! Timmy!
  • Timmy: (to crowd) ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! (to self) Well... it’s been nice knowing me. (jumps on the board, and heads down) Skating on the moon... (moves around, while picking up steam) ...ramping down the pyramids... (crouches down, while holding the tip of his board) ...skating in the jungle... I can do this... I can do this...

[On Vicky.]

  • Vicky: He can do this! Unless... (pushes the TNT and it explodes throughout the middle ramp, leaving cracks out)
  • Timmy: Oh-no! I’m doomed!

[On Chester and A.J.]

  • A.J.: Wow she’s totally cheating! I mean... (reads dictionary) ...cheating.
  • Chester: Not if I can help it! (smiles and railroad tracks pops out of his teeth that bridges the gap in the big ramp)
  • Timmy: (rockets over it, sparks flying, hits the lip of the ramp and shoots into the air) And now for some zero gravity spins!
  • Wanda: (offscreen) Look at him go! A 1400 degree spin with one flip! Two!
  • Cosmo: (offscreen) Three! And... what’s after three?
  • Timmy: (makes the fourth flip before he lands) FOUR!
  • Cosmo: (offscreen) Right!
  • Timmy: (lands with amazing precision, right next to Chester and AJ. as he holds his sketch pad) And THAT’S why it’s called the Timmy Tuck!

[The crowd applause wildly as Vicky grabs Timmy by the helmet and pulls him next to Vicky.]

  • Vicky: No way, Twerp! How could you do that when I couldn’t?
  • A.J.: (shows the drawing to Vicky) Because Timmy’s small and nice. You’re tall and weighted down with too much evil, which threw off your balance!
  • Vicky: That’s super. (to Timmy) You’ll be going now.
  • Timmy: Oh no! I won! I’m the Queen now!
  • A.J.: King.
  • Timmy: Right! Give me the crown!
  • Vicky: You want this crown? You've got a better chance of some loser, twelve year old, wastoid kid falling from the sky and plowing me into the ground!!!
  • Francis: (offscreen) ...WHOOOOAAAA! (flies in and plows her into the ground, forming the crater)
  • Vicky: (hands Timmy the crown offscreen) Here you go.
  • Crowd: (cheers)
  • Timmy: Thank you! Thank you! And as the new Queen of the skate-park, I decree... (kicks the “You must be this tall sign” over) Let my people skate!

[A crowd of kids sweep in, picks Timmy up and cheers loudly. On Wanda as a reporter.]

  • Wanda: Timmy won, Vicky’s in a crater and kids are free to skate. Pretty good day, don’t you think?
  • Cosmo: I want a hot dog. Is it half-time yet?

[On Timmy, surrounded by cheering kids and Chester and A.J.]

  • Chester: You did it, Dude!
  • A.J.: You beat- I mean... thrashed Vicky and saved the park!
  • Timmy: And best of all, I did it all by myself! Me! The most coordinated skater ever! (takes a step and trips over an injured ladybug) Oof!

[On Cosmo and Wanda as a reporter]

  • Cosmo: Yep! And best of all... Timmy’s learned some great new tricks!

[Timmy flies into screen, bounces off both their heads and skates off into the distance.]

  • Cosmo: And one not so great one.

[The scene fades out.]


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