Mr. Turner: From now on, the Turners are a long-haired family!

Timmy: This is the worst hair cut ever! [mirror crack]

Timmy: I wish my hair can be cut!

A.J.: Hey, I have hair! I'm hot!

Timmy: A professional barber? This is awesome!

Chet Ubetcha: This is Chet Ubetcha saying Dimmsdale is the most dangerous city in the world, because it's being destroyed by a hairicane! Wait, I just got word that the Hair Force has been called in to tame this violent hairicane. We're saved... (the planes get destroyed by lightning and the Hair Force soldiers fall to the ground safely) And by saved, I mean "doomed"!

Timmy: Okay, that was good I got another A. But bad because my hair is getting out of control. But good because Mr. Crocker is in pain. Wait, why was it bad again? Oh yeah. BECAUSE MY HAIR IS OUT OF CONTROL!!!

Timmy: (to his hair after it threw Trixie away) Hey, what'd you do that for? Wait, are you jealous of Trixie? Look, when I said I loved you, I meant it in a brotherly boy and his hair sort of way. (Timmy's hair captures Chester and A.J.) You're jealous of my friends too?! First, you get me an F and then you get rid of my friends? Maybe I should get rid of you! What do you think of that?

Timmy: (screams as his hair turns into a hairicane) I think it made you mad, which is why it's time to clip this wish! Cosmo! When I said I wanted hair with personality, I didn't mean obsessive!
Cosmo: Well, maybe you need to be clearer with your wishes!
Timmy: Okay, I'll be clear now! I wish my hair was... (gagged by his hair)
Cosmo: Nope, still not clear! And you really shouldn't talk with hair in your mouth!