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The Fairly OddParents!
episode transcript
"Hail To The Chief"
Season №: 2
Episode №: 17A
Airdate: September 27, 2002
Transcript List

This article is a transcript of the The Fairly OddParents! episode, "Hail To The Chief" from Season 2, which aired on September 27, 2002.


Script[]

  • Bodyguard: One side! Student body president coming' through!!
  • Timmy: Forget it! We were here first!
  • Tad: Co-president Chad, do you hear some non-student body president talking?
  • Chad: No, I don't co-president Tad, but I do know this: student body presidents get first in line privileges.
  • Timmy: What about me? The common student? What do I get?

[SPRING!]

  • Timmy: AAH! AAH!

[SPLAT!]

  • Cosmo: It smells like feet in here!
  • Timmy: No, it stinks because Tad and Chad are the student body president, they get to do anything they want! It's time somebody ran against them. Someone with vision. Someone with ideas. Someone with—

[Timmy approaches Tad and Chad]

  • Timmy: Tad and Chad, I Timmy Turner, am running against you for student-body president.

[AAH!]

  • Cosmo: Incoming!
  • Timmy: Cool! If I'm president, Trixie'll have to talk to me! And with you guys helping my campaign, I can't lose!
  • Timmy: What do you mean I can't wish myself student body president?
  • Wanda: It's against the rules. But we could be your political advisers and help you run your campaign!
  • Cosmo: You'll get tons of votes!!

[FOUR MORE YEARS! FOUR MORE YEARS!]

  • Timmy: They're going first! Who knows what kind of awesome and impressive speech they have lined up!!

[KA-CHING! KA-CHING!]

  • Timmy: That's it? A smile and a pointing gesture?
  • Timmy: Every year you elect these guys and then they use their power to bully you around!
  • Kid: No, they don't.
  • Bodyguard: Sit down!
  • Kid: Okay.

[The kid in the crowd sits down]

  • Timmy: They think we're losers! And maybe we are! But then, shouldn't you be represented by a loser? I'm Timmy Turner, and I want to be... or not to be...
  • Shakespeare: I love that line!
  • Timmy: That loser!

[YAY!]

  • Trixie: Timmy, that was an amazing speech!
  • Timmy: Really?
  • Trixie: Yeah. I--

[YAY!]

  • Timmy: Ow!

[YAY!]

  • Timmy: Hey! Where is everybody?
  • Principal Waxelplax: Puking, probably. Food poisoning! From Tad and Chad's cake! The only reason I'm here is because I'm frosting tolerant!
  • Timmy: What about the election? If everyone's sick, who's going to vote?
  • Principal Waxelplax: Polls are open!
  • Timmy: I know who I'm voting for!!

[10 SECONDS LATER...]

  • Principal Waxelplax: Polls are closed! We must count the ballots! I mean ballot! And the winner is Timmy Turner! We swear you in tomorrow!! Congrats!

[AT SCHOOL THE NEXT DAY...]

  • Principal Waxelplax: Do you accept your responsibilities as student body president?
  • Timmy: Piece of cake!

[HUK! GROSS! RALPH! BLERG! UGH!]

  • Timmy: And guess what? I've already got picked my own secret service detail.
  • Chester: We have the package in our perimeter!
  • A.J.: Affirmative! Situation under control! Protect package at all cost! Over!
  • Timmy: Come on, guys! Let's check some of those presidential perks!
  • A.J.: Make way! President coming' through!
  • Tad: No way! We were here first!

[BOING!]

  • Tad and Chad: AAH!
  • Trixie: Hello, mister president. I liked the way you used your authority to cut in line!
  • Veronica: Well, I still think Timmy Turner is a loser-creep!
  • Trixie: I was hoping we could do a long, in-depth interview for the school paper.
  • Chester: LUNCH BOX! LUNCH BOX! PROTECT THE PACKAGE! GO GO GO GO!!!
  • Veronica: EEK!

[WHAM! OINK!]

  • Timmy: No! Wait! Trixie! I--
  • A.J.: We can't stop watching until you go, sir.

[RIIIIIINNNG!

  • Chester: That bell! The package is late for presidential duties!
  • Trixie: Hi, President Timmy!
  • Timmy: Trixie! Wait, guys! The Turner administration will not be tolerated against the sinus impaired!

[HOORAY! SNORT! SHIFF! YAY!]

  • Timmy: AAH!
  • Chester: Code yellow! The package must remain germ-free!

[SPLAT!]

  • A.J*.: UGH!
  • Timmy: AJ! AJ! Speak to me!
  • A.J*.: It's okay! It's only... a common cold!
  • A.J.: SNORT!
  • Wanda: How's our little Mr. El Presidente?
  • Timmy: Miserable! I do boring stuff all day. I can't go to the bathroom by myself. And now that Trixie wants to talk to me, we can't because I get yanked away by my secret service!
  • Wanda: Well, Timmy, nobody said that being a leader was going to be easy.
  • Timmy: I didn't want to be a leader. I just wanted to be president. I want out!
  • Wanda: You have to be impeached.
  • Timmy: Impeached!
  • Sanjay: Welcome to the library assistants club, President Turner! Do you swear to always re-shelve according to the Dewey decimal system and to defend the library against the loudness and gum chewing of all others!
  • Timmy: You bet!
  • Sanjay and the others: GASP!
  • Veronica: It is true! President Timmy Turner likes books and periodicals!
  • Tad: You're ruined Turner! Ruined!

[AND SO, TIMMY'S TERM COMES TO AN END...]

  • Tad: Timmy Turner, you stand accused of geekiness while in office! How do you plead?
  • Timmy: Guilty! I like books. I like math too. What are you going to do about it? Impeach me?
  • Tad: That's a great idea!
  • Veronica: All in favor?

[AYE!]

  • Veronica: Turner is out. Tad and Chad are back in!
  • Timmy: Now that I'm not the president anymore, I thought maybe you and I could finally have that talk.
  • Trixie: Three words. Not. President. Anymore.
  • Chester and A.J.:??
  • Cosmo: Well, that's politics! You win a few you lose a lot!
  • Timmy: Well, I'd rather be a normal geek than student body president any day!

[The End!]


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