- Francis: "Well, Mr. Crocker, for Show and Tell, I bring my dog, Mange. This is what he eats, First Graders. They keep his pelt shiny."
- "Huhuhuh, having this much fun should be against the law, which I always break so I don't care."
- Francis: [to Timmy] "You gonna let a little girl fight your battles for you, Turner?"
- Timmy Turner: "Uhh... Only if she wins!
- "Turner? Is it beating time already!?"
- "Time for your daily dose of Vitamin Fist"
- (About goldfish Cosmo and Wanda) "After I win 'em, I'm going to eat 'em, then kill 'em!
- "Can we pick this up? I've got two beatings, three bludgeonings, and an intimidation this morning... and I don't want to be late for lunch. I'm having fish."
- Francis: "Okay, Turner, can you guess what's behind my back?"
- Timmy: "A hug?"
- Francis: "Wrong! Wait, wha... a fist!"
- Francis: [cleaning a litterbox] "I hate cleaning the litterbox. [You Doo magic forces him face-first into the box] Aah! There's nothing deodorizing about these crystals!"
- [Crying] "We love you, Britney Britney!!!!"
- [Timmy gives Francis a can of shave cream and a shaver] "Hey! This is gonna be fun!" [Goes to shave, but gets cut with the shaver's razors and screams in pain] "Aaaaaah!"
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