Timmy: [to Chester, AJ and other kids] Yes, my friends! Behold! After successfully camping out all night, we will make history as the first kids to see... Crash Nebula: The Movie!
Remy Buxaplenty: [offscreen] After me. [Timmy turns and sees a boy in front of him]
Timmy: Hey! Who the heck are you? [Remy points up, and Timmy sees the following message written by a skywriter] Remy Buxaplenty. Richer than you. Will ever. Hope to be. [to Remy] I don't care how rich you are! We were here first! [the ticket booth opens]
Remy: [sighs] Finally. [snaps his fingers. Two butlers show up and assume a table top position, and he uses them as steps to reach the booth] Tickets, please.
Ticket Guy: How many?
Remy: All of them. [all the other kids cheer] Oh, please! They're not for you unseemly urchins. I need all the extra seats for my piles of money. [Timmy scowls. Fade to an arcade. Video game enemies are shot away]
Cosmo: [as Timmy's laser cannon] You're kicking virtual butt in this video game!
Timmy: And if I get the high score, I'll finally get my name on the bathroom door! [he shoots with Cosmo and Wanda but is shot himself, losing his 13,000 points. He turns to see Remy, who has 1,000,000 points]
Remy: I win. [blows on his cannon. Timmy takes off his virtual reality helmet, and Remy's is lifted off him. The arcade owner grabs Remy, puts a plate with his name on it on the door to the players' lounge and shakes his hand. Timmy scowls. Fade to the Turners' house]
Timmy: Somethin's fishy.
Cosmo: Trout? Catfish? Sea Monkey?
Timmy: How could that Remy kid get so much better than me at—
Wanda: Everything?
Timmy: Yeah. And he's everywhere.
Wanda: I know one special place we can go where he can never ever be. [makes a Crimson Chin comic appear. Fade to inside of it]
Timmy: [as Cleft] Ah! Just what I needed. Some simple good old-fashioned super hero–bashing-evil action! [notices the Chin and who appears to be a golden sumo wrestler] The Golden Gut! [the Golden Gut uses his belly to knock the Chin off a building] Activate utility cleft. [a grappling hook from the cleft grabs on to a panel gutter]
Singers: ♪ The Crimson Chin! ♪
Timmy: [swings to the Chin] Don't worry, C.C. I'll— [Remy, also dressed as Cleft, grabs the Chin's hand]
Remy: I'll save you! [he and the Chin land]
Crimson Chin: Way to go, Cleft! Rich Boy Chin Wonder! [Timmy lands, and his hook falls on his head and retracts. Fade to outside the Buxaplentys' mansion. Timmy, Cosmo and Wanda show up]
Timmy: Awright, let's see how the richer half lives... [he uses the fairies as binoculars and a parabolic microphone to spy into the mansion and see the Buxaplentys]
Mr. Buxaplenty: Oh, right, Right. Son. It certainly was thrilling spending our daily two minutes with you. [Remy holds out his arms for a hug]
Mrs. Buxaplenty: Well, time is money.
Mr. Buxaplenty: Money? Where? [runs off]
Mrs. Buxaplenty: [leaving] Have a nice time with your oddly-colored ferret, son!
Timmy: I think I know how Remy is pulling all this stuff off! [focuses on the ferret's floating crown] Remy Buxaplenty has a Fairy Godparent! [back to normal, Cosmo and Wanda look at each other and whistle guiltily. They look at each other, and Cosmo hides in a clamshell and Wanda hides her face in a magazine] You knew?
Wanda: Oh, sorry, Timmy. It's in Da Rules. We can't tell you about other kids with Fairy Godparents. You have to figure it out on your own.
Timmy: Do you know this fairy?
Wanda: No! No! Nope! Uh, not at all. No idea. Clueless.
Timmy: You know him!
Wanda: Nuh-uh!
Timmy: I wish you'd tell!
Wanda: Oh, darn it! His name is Juandissimo Magnifico. He's my ex-boyfriend. [she smiles at Cosmo, who frowns]
Remy: [watching through a telescope] So, Turner has Godparents too. [to Juandissimo] Why didn't you tell me?
Juandissimo: [turns back to normal]Pero it is not permitted. It is in Da Rules. And I am a fairy of principles. And principles—much like my biceps—are muy bonito! Una vida sin principales no es una vida.[his shirt rips off]
Remy: If Turner has Godparents, he could wish he was richer than me! I wish his Godparents were gone!
Juandissimo: I cannot. Fairies cannot be wished away by other fairies... for that way lies madness. And madness is muy malo. Godparents can only be wished away by their godkid, [a scroll titled "Rules of the Duel" appears] or... in a Magical Duel.
Remy: [reading the scroll] Godparent against Godparent. Winner keeps his fairies, loser—and by "loser", I mean Turner—forgets he ever had them. [snickers. The scroll disappears. Cut to a butler opening a door for Timmy, who goes through it and walks up to Remy] Turner.
Timmy: Buxaplenty.
Remy: Let's cut to the chase, shall we? [as Juandissimo appears] You know I have a Fairy Godparent. [as Cosmo and Wanda appear] I know you have Fairy Godparents. [Juandissimo is smitten by Wanda]
Juandissimo: [waggles his eyebrows and takes someone's hand] Wanda. My sweet. [kisses the hand] I have missed you as the sun misses the dawn... [continues kissing]
Wanda: [offscreen] Well, that's all very flattering...
Cosmo: But that's my hand, pal! And guess what! I don't need magic to turn it into a fist! [grunts as he tries to make a fist] Bunny rabbit. [Juandissimo turns him into a turtle, and he and his wand fall to the floor] When I get my wand, oh, you are in for it! [crawls toward it]
Juandissimo: [to Remy] You see how he almost turned his hand into a fist? I am lucky to be alive!
Remy: So, how much will it take for me to get you to wish away your Fairy Godparents, hmm?
Timmy: You know what stinks about you, Remy? You're rich, you have Godparents and you're still miserable!
Remy: What? You think you're happier than me?
Timmy: Dude, I know I'm happier than you. And I've got better Godparents.
Juandissimo: We shall see about that, little monkey! [to Remy] Call it!
Remy: I call... Magical Duel! [with a poof, the scene fades to Fairy World. Fairies are flying to a stadium. Fade to inside]
Fairies: [in the stands] Duel! Duel! Duel! Duel!
Jorgen: Puny fairies and gentlemen, prepare for magical battle!
Fairies: Yay! Woo-hoo!
Jorgen: These are the rules! Winner takes all. Loser won't recall! Best two out of three wins!
Timmy: What? [to Cosmo and Wanda] If I lose, I lose you forever?
Wanda: So there's absolutely no pressure!
Juandissimo: Your voice. It is like the chorus of a thousand angels.
Cosmo: Yeah, well, my foot is gonna feel like the chorus of a thousand... [Juandissimo turns him into a turtle again. He pops out of his shell] Revenge! [crawling toward his wand] Revenge!
Jorgen: Challenge One. Godparents must be able to rescue their kids from any danger! In this case... a giant ape! [a giant ape picks up Remy]
Juandissimo: Have no fear... Juandissimo is here! [he flies toward the ape and dodges the barrels it throws at him from atop what looks like a Donkey Kong stage] There is only one way to soothe a savage beast... [appears in a mariachi outfit]
Wanda: You're going to sing?
Juandissimo: I must. It is who I am. It is the magic of my soul. [flies up to the ape and starts playing a guitar. The ape happily dances. Jorgen looks at an hourglass as it empties into the lower bulb]
Jorgen: The handsome fairy has failed to rescue his godchild!
Fairies: Boo!
Jorgen: But he is still very sexy!
Fairies: [clapping and throwing roses at Juandissimo] Yay! Woo-hoo!
Juandissimo: This I can live with. [Timmy appears in Remy's place, and the ape shakes him]
Timmy: [screams] Make it stop!
Wanda: [to Cosmo] We've gotta help Timmy! [turns Cosmo back to normal]
Cosmo: Hmm. I need some thinkin' food! [bananas appear in his hands, and he starts eating one. The ape puts Timmy down and takes the bananas]
Wanda: Good job, honey, distracting that ape.
Cosmo: Huh? [sees he is holding Timmy] Hey! That monkey ate my banana!
Jorgen: The puny fairy has rescued his godchild! Timmy Turner and his fairies win round one! [the audience cheers] Challenge Two. The child must now help the Godparents by distracting a human adult so they don't see them magically douse this fire. Now!
Timmy: [walks up to the adult] Hey, look at me! Hey, look, a UFO! Hey, Mister, wanna see a card trick? [he flips cards into the fire, making it bigger. The adult claps] Uh-oh.
Jorgen: This is pathetic. We will end this before you burn Fairy World to the ground. Next child. [he snaps his fingers, and Remy appears in Timmy's place]
Remy: Look! Money! [he throws a wad of cash, and the adult runs after it like a dog. Juandissimo appears and puts out the fire with a watering can]
Jorgen: Round Two to Remy Buxaplenty! [the audience cheers]
Timmy: Look... we can call this a draw. Right now! I don't care if you have a Godparent, Remy!
Remy: But I care if you do! My parents are never home! I never get to see them! Why should you get real parents and Godparents that love you when I don't?
Jorgen: It is time for the tie breaker! [the audience cheers] Each child will describe an imaginary animal and then their Godparents will turn him into that animal. The godchild who is the most fantastic animal will win.
Timmy: I wish I was a crab! [thinks] With two heads! [Cosmo and Wanda grant the wish] Ta-da?
Fairies: Yawn!
Remy: Yeah, gonna be hard to beat that. But just in case... I've got something better than imagination. [dialing on a phone] Highly paid consultants! [listening to the phone] Uh-huh. Yeah. Horns of a goat? A body of an antelope? Head of a jackalarf? Mm-hmm. V8 engine. All right!
Timmy: Juandissimo is gonna make Remy into an amazing animal! [turns around] Guys, do something!
Wanda: If only there was some way to distract him!
Cosmo: Oh! Oh! I know! [appears in front of Juandissimo] Hey, Muscles Magoo! [turns into a copy of him] Look at me! I'm fancy, and my long black hair flows in the wind.
Juandissimo: Stop making fun of my outer beauty!
Jorgen: Ten seconds left!
Remy: Juandissimo, don't let him distract you!
Cosmo: I'm strong, but I still lost my woman to an idiot!
Jorgen: Five! Four!
Remy: Hurry up!
Cosmo: [becomes fat] Chunky hunky!
Juandissimo: Stop! [Cosmo's head turns into a monkey's]
Cosmo: Monkey chunky hunky!
Juandissimo: I cannot concentrate!
Jorgen: Three! Two!
Remy: Now! [Juandissimo throws his wand. It misses Remy and hits Timmy, turning him into a giant fantasy animal]
Fairies: Ooh... [cheer]
Remy: Ha! The most amazing animal ever! I win!
Wanda: Actually, the challenge was... the child who is turned into the most fantastic animal wins.
Jorgen: She is right! Timmy Turner gets to keep his Godparents! And you lose yours! [Remy is dejected]
Juandissimo: Adiós, Remy Buxaplenty. We will not meet again. [his shirt rips off, and another appears in its place. Jorgen snaps, and Remy and Juandissimo disappear]
Wanda: Timmy, what's wrong?
Timmy: I feel sort of sorry for Remy. I wish I could help him.
Cosmo and Wanda: We can do that.
Timmy: I wish Remy's parents had more time to spend with him! [Cosmo and Wanda grant the wish. Fade to a desert island. A ship is on two palm trees]
Remy: Well, we could be here a while.
Mr. Buxaplenty: I'll count the money!
Mrs. Buxaplenty: And I'll count the money!
Remy: And I'll find us something to eat!
Mr. Buxaplenty: Hmm, great idea, Liam.
Remy: Remy. But it's a start. [he walks off, trips on a stick and falls into a bush. He shakes his head and sees Juandissimo as a turtle] Why, hello there, little fella. You look familiar. Like a long lost friend or something. Ah well. [holding him up] Who wants turtle soup?
Juandissimo: No! I am too sexy to eat! [iris out. Ripping is heard as the end title card is shown. Fade to black]
