Engine Blocked/Transcript

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This article is a transcript of the Fairly OddParents episode "Engine Blocked" from Season 3, which aired on May 9, 2003.

Script[]

Timmy: Ah! A sunny, Saturday afternoon! You know what that means?
Cosmo: That it's Saturday? And the Afternoon?
Timmy: Yep! And Dad promised he'd play catch with me!
Wanda: But, Timmy! Saturday's the day your Dad does all his chores! Remember?
Mr. Turner: We'll play catch as soon as I'm done mowing the lawn, Son!
Mr. Turner: As soon as I'm done painting the house, Son!
Mr. Turner: (voiceover) As soon as I find the underground city of the mole people, Son!
Timmy: Cool! There aren't any chores left! So now there's absolutely nothing that will prevent him from spending the day with me!
Mr. Turner: Ahh! I can't spend the day with you! I found a gray hair! In my nose!
Timmy: So?
Mr. Turner: Timmy, graying nasal hair is the universal sign of a man getting old!
Mr. Turner: (examines self) Liver spots (by his eyes) Wrinkles! (on his shoulder) An expiration date! Hallucinating my towels have faces!
Wanda: Oh no! Timmy's dad is going through his mid-life crisis!
Cosmo: Hey, that sounds like fun! I want a mid-life crisis!
Cosmo: And I'm going to start my crisis by living out my youthful dream of becoming a watercolor artist!
Wanda: We're in water, you know.
Cosmo: My art! NOOOOOO!!!
Mr. Turner: Son... quick! What do you do that makes you feel young?
Timmy: Uh... look at my birth certificate?
Mr. Turner: Work with me, boy! Something else?
Timmy: Uh, make you buy me toys?
Mr. Turner: YEAH! LET'S MAKE ME BUY ME TOYS! (to Mom) Can we have money for toys?
Timmy: (voiceover) What are you gonna get with your toy money, Dad?
Mr. Turner: Something I wanted since I was a kid! A radio controlled, '55 Striker Z! With its massive tail fins, huge engine and two-tone paint job! It was the coolest toy car ever!
Timmy: Like that car over there?
Mr. Turner: Holy "I'm not an old guy!" It's a real Striker Z!
Mr. Turner: That car! How much for that car?!?
Vicky: It’s not my car.
Mr. Turner: I have fifty dollars.
Vicky: Then it's fifty dollars!
Mr. Turner: And Timmy has fifty dollars!
Vicky: Then it's a hundred dollars!
Mr. Turner: Deal!

SFX: <<CAR ROARS>>

Timmy: Dad! WAIT!!
Doug Dimmadome: Hi, I'm Doug Dimmadome owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome! Home to the Dimmsdale Auto Show!! And I'd like to buy that antique, metal deathtrap!
Vicky: Sorry, you're too late...
Doug Dimmadome: Dimma-Darn!And I was going to pay you ten thousand Dimma-dollars!
Vicky: Which makes you NOT too late!
Doug Dimmadome: Listen here, Missy Boo Boo. You deliver that car to my precariously perched, cliff-side estate, and this here giant wad of money's yours!
Vicky: (to self) I gotta get that car back!
Timmy: Dad? Can we please play ball now?
Mr. Turner: In a minute, Timmy! Just as soon as I'm done fixing up my new son! I mean, car!
Timmy: You don't think he's going to get all crazy about the car, do you?
Wanda: That's a yes.
Cosmo: And I've immortalized this "yes" in this painting called "Your Dad is all crazy about his car!"
Mr. Turner: And lo! It is done!
Timmy: Cool! Can we go for a ride?
Mr. Turner: If by "we" you mean the car and me, then the answer is yes!
Timmy: Dad, you've spent all week with that car! Can we please do something together today?
Mr. Turner: You mean like go to the Dimmsdale Auto Show together?
Timmy: That'd be great! You mean I can go?
Mr. Turner: I wish! But It's the Dimmsdale "Only If You're Old Enough To Drive" Auto Show! It's just for cars and the young adults who drive them!Like me! And not you.

SFX: <<CAR ROAR>>

Vicky: Auto show, huh? Perfect! And now that he's fixed it up, I'll get even more money from Mr. Dimmadork!
Timmy: Man! I never get to do stuff with Dad! It's like he loves that stupid car more than me! Well, he's gonna spend time with me whether he knows it or not! I wish I was the Striker Z!
Timmy: (through radio) (filtered) Cool! I feel fast and furious!
Wanda: I feel lucky!
Mr. Turner: I feel like driving like a maniac!

SFX: <<CAR ROAR>>

Timmy: (through radio) YAHOO!!
Timmy: Hey! Look out!

SFX: <<BRAKES SQUEALING>>

Mr. Turner: Wow! You talk? In a nasally voice that reminds me of someone I never spend time with? What else can you do?
Mr. Turner: Ahhh!!!
Timmy: (through radio) (filtered) Just let me do it!

SFX: <<BRAKES SQUEALING>>

Mr. Turner: You can STEER YOURSELF??! You are the coolest car ever!
Mr. Turner: See the genius car! It talks! It drives itself! AND it's got lucky dice! (beat: Tummy rumble) But it doesn't have a bathroom. I'll be right back!!
Vicky: He left the keys in! That must mean he wants me to have it back! Who am I to argue with 10,000 dimma-dollars?
Timmy: Dad! Help! I'm being stolen! I mean the car is being stolen!
Mr. Turner: Hey, that sounds like... TIMMY! He must have stowed away in the trunk of the Striker Z!
Mr. Turner: Timmy! Hang on! I'm coming!

SFX: <<WHAM!>> <<BOING!>> <<CRASH>>

Timmy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
Vicky: I'm on my way, Mr. Dimmadork!
Doug Dimmadome: What?
Vicky: Uh, Dimmadone. Just start wadding up my cash.
Doug Dimmadome: (through phone) It's a Dimma-deal!
Vicky: Dimma-don’t go changin’!
Timmy: (voiceover) Quick! Cosmo, Wanda I wish -
Vicky: Wow! You talk? In a nasally voice that reminds me of someone I hate?
Spanish DJ: (voiceover) Offer void where prohibited!
Timmy: (voiceover) ¡Senor Cosmo, Senora Wanda, ayudame!
Wanda: I don't speak Spanish, do you?
Cosmo: Spanish? I barely speak English!
Kid: Righteous face plant, Grandpa!
Mr. Turner: No time to decipher your hip, young lingo, Son... (re: Scooter) ...but I’d be ever so grateful if I could commandeer your battery-powered transportation vehicle.
Kid: You mean my scooter?
Mr. Turner: Whoa, whoa, you’ve lost me again. I’ll also need your safety devices.
Kid: You mean my helmet?
Mr. Turner: Work with me, boy.

SFX: <<SCOOTER PEELING OUT>>

Mr. Turner: Unhand that Stryker Z!
Vicky: Hey! That young punk's trying to steal the car I'm stealing!

SFX: <<CAR ROARING OFF>>

Timmy: ¡Ay, Papi!

SFX: <<CAR ROARING>> <<WHAM>> SFX: <<SCOOTER WINDING DOWN>>

Mr. Turner: AHHH! Darn it! The battery's dead!
Timmy: Dad!
Mr. Turner: AAAAAHHHH!

SFX: <<ZOOM!!!>>

Vicky: There's Dimmadome's cliff side estate! (sees Mr. Turner through mirror) WHAT THE HECK!!!
Mr. Turner: WHOOOHAAA! Wow! I'm not dead. That's a lucky break! I have to remember when I get Timmy out of the trunk to tell him to never try a stupid stunt like that!

SFX: <<BRAKES SCREECHING>>

Vicky: Um... Ta da?
Mr. Turner: (offscreen) Hold on, dudes!
Doug Dimmadome: Whoa, you lost me there with your hip young lingo, Son!
Vicky: (sheepish) Hi, Mister Turner! There's a perfectly good explanation for why I took back my car...
Mr. Turner: I'm sure there is, but I don't care! I just shredded my way out of my mid-life crisis! I just want my son out of the trunk!
Mr. Turner: Timmy!
Cosmo: Here he comes! Hurry!!!
Timmy: (voiceover) ¡Cosmo y Wanda! ¡Sentiento que yo estuviera en el tronco del coche! (fiddles with radio from German to Japanese, then back to English) I WISH I WAS IN THE TRUNK!
Timmy: Hi Dad!
Mr. Turner: Timmy! What is the matter with you? You could have been killed!
Timmy: Oh, like you care? You were only worried about your stupid car! You never even let me ride in it! Ever!
Mr. Turner: Of course I didn't! With its lack of air bags, rope seat belts and pointy, metal body, that car is a screaming, metal death trap! I'd never risk YOUR life by letting you ride in it!
Timmy: So...you were ignoring me to protect me?
Mr. Turner: I was ignoring you, because I love you, Tommy!
Vicky: So I can buy the car back?
Mr. Turner: It's all yours.(to Timmy) And I'm all yours. Come on, Son. Let's go play some catch.
Timmy: Cool!
Vicky: (to self) And now, I'll take my ten thousand –

SFX: <<FLY BUZZING>>

Vicky: ...dollars?
Cosmo and Wanda: AAAAAHHHHH!

SFX: <<BOOM! CRASH!>>

Cosmo and Wanda: AAAAAHHH!
Cosmo: (voiceover) He's right! It is a screaming, metal death trap!
Cosmo and Wanda: AAAAAHHH!

SFX: <<CRASH!>>

Doug Dimmadome: You realize of course the Dimma-deal is Dimma-done.
Vicky: Dimma-drat!

SFX: <<BOOM.>>

Cosmo: Let's go again! Let's go again!
Wanda: Oh, Look! Timmy’s finally playing catch with his dad. Isn’t that great, Cosmo? Cosmo?
Cosmo: What? Now I’m going through my escape artist days. (Wanda poofs away) Wait! Come back! You’re only ignoring me because you love me! (the water is chin high) Wow! You must love me a whole lot. (gurgling under water) Wanda? Hello? Anyone?