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This article is a transcript of the Fairly OddParents episode "Crocker Shocker" from Season 7, which aired on September 28, 2009.
Transcript[]
- [Fade in on Dimmsdale Psychiatric Institute]
- Mr. Crocker: You've got to help me, Dr. Fancyfree! I've got a hump on my back, my ears have slid down my neck, and I'm utterly lacking in charisma! [breaks a mirror by looking at it] My life is a disaster, and it's all because of my accursed obsession with...
- Dr. Fancyfree: [covers his mouth] No! Don't say it! [trying to speak, Crocker turns reddish, and the screen shakes. He starts spasming and damaging the room]
- Crocker: ...fairy godparents! Fairy godparents! Fairy godparents! [Fancyfree gets up from a pile of books from a collapsed bookcase]
- Fancyfree: I can't take it anymore! I'm going to try something that goes against everything I've been taught as a therapist! [holding up a pocket watch] I'm going to cure you!
- Crocker: Hypnosis? Ha! The Crocker mind is an impenetrable steel fortress! [looking at the swinging watch] Hypnosis will never— [instantly falls asleep]
- Fancyfree: Repeat after me. "I don't believe in fairies."
- Crocker: I don't believe in fairies. I don't believe in fairies. [his eyes become swirls] I don't believe in fairies. [his ear recedes and comes out on the side of his head, and his hump recedes] I don't believe in fairies. [he blinks and his eyes return to normal] I don't... believe in... fairies! [cut to Cosmo, Poof, Timmy, and Wanda flying through town. Poof is a monkey riding Cosmo, a unicorn, and Timmy is riding Wanda, a flying carpet]
- Timmy: Woo-hoo! [Cosmo jumps on cars and laughs] Woo-hoo!
- Wanda: [laughs] Timmy, don't you think these wishes are a little conspicuous?
- Timmy: I might... if I knew what that word meant. [Fancyfree pushes Crocker out of the psychiatric hospital]
- Fancyfree: You're cured! Now, don't come back! [she throws him and he falls down the front steps. Timmy and the fairies crash into him]
- Timmy: Uh, Mr. Crocker... I can explain.
- Crocker: No need, Timothy. Normally I'd think this was the work of fairy godparents, but I don't believe in them anymore. Clearly you and your magic carpet are just racing a monkey on a unicorn. [Cosmo eats foliage] Nothing unusual here. Cured! [flies off with his feet]
- Wanda: [reading a sign in front of the building] "Dr. Phyllis Fancyfree: therapist to the fairy impaired."
- Timmy: A therapist? I think she cured Mr. Crocker of his belief in fairies! You know what that means!
- Cosmo: I'm still stuck on conspicumous.
- Timmy: It means Mr. Crocker won't be hunting you guys anymore! Woo-hoo! This rocks! [cut to Fort Jorgen. Jorgen is using a facial mask and hair rollers, wearing a bathrobe, and holding a cup of tea]
- Jorgen: Woo-hoo! This rocks! It is time for my favorite show! [turns on the TV]
- TV Announcer: Welcome to another episode of Dancing with the Elves! Tonight, it's Hermie versus Sparkle! [the TV turns to static and turns off, and the lamp stops working]
- Jorgen: Oh, no! Fairy World is losing power! [looks outside. A blackout happens, and the land loses color] I bet I know who is responsible! [strips to his usual clothes and picks up his wand] To Turner's house! [his wand goes limp] Oh, darn it! [cut to outside the Turners' house. A Fairy World bus drops off Jorgen, who heads toward the house. Cut to Timmy's room, where Timmy and his fairy family are celebrating with balloons and confetti]
- Cosmo and Wanda: Yay!
- Poof: Poof poof!
- Cosmo: [blows a party horn] Now, seriously, could someone please explain what's going on?
- Jorgen: [from outside] Yes! [opens the wall like a door and enters the room] Explain it to me too, Turner! Explain why the power is being drained from Fairy World!
- Timmy: Well, it's not us! We're just celebrating Mr. Crocker not believing in fairies anymore! [Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof blow party horns]
- Jorgen: Oh. Say what now?! This is the worst possible news! Let me explain why with a very elaborate and colorful demonstration chock-full of pageantry and magic! [his wand goes limp] Oh, right. Um, can I have a pad and some crayons? [Poof gives him them, and he starts using them to draw] For centuries, we fairies have harnessed the energy that comes from the spazzing of certain humans who believe that fairies exist! When Mr. Crocker first began to spaz about fairies many years ago, his energy was so powerful, we harnessed it to fuel the Big Giant Wand all by itself!
- Wanda: You mean all our magic comes from Mr. Crocker?
- Jorgen: Ironic, isn't it?
- Timmy: So what happens now that Crocker's stopped believing in fairies and won't spaz out anymore?
- Jorgen: The loss of power has already begun. All of Fairy World will have to start rationing magic, or else we will completely lose power!
- Poof: [falls to the floor] Poof?
- Wanda: Uh-oh! Poof can't float! [he fails to fly and rolls into Timmy's bed] I think he's out of power already!
- Cosmo: Either that or his diaper's full!
- Jorgen: Turner, it is imperative you get Mr. Crocker to believe in fairies again! The fate of Fairy World hangs in the balance! [hears the bus's horn. The bus starts driving away and he runs after it] Wait for me! [fade to outside Dimmsdale Elementary School]
- Timmy: Don't worry, guys. We'll get Fairy World's power back. I know deep down, Crocker still believes in fairies. He'll never change! [Crocker, wearing a leisure suit and sunglasses, is walking pridefully down the sidewalk. Women turn in his direction and gasp. He points at Principal Waxelplax and other women, who then swoon. He shakes his hips, and gaping old women's dentures fall out. He points at more women, who scream and faint]
- Crocker: I'm footloose and fairy-free, baby!
- Timmy: Not for long. Once Mr. Crocker sees you guys doin' some super cool magic, it'll snap him back to his old self and the power will come back to Fairy World! [Cosmo and Wanda briefly glow, then fall to the ground]
- Wanda: Ah! [trying to stand up] Fairy World must be running out of magic quicker than I thought! [falls over]
- Cosmo: [trying to stand up] Either that or my diaper's full! [falls on his full diaper] Or both!
- Timmy: Guys, [tossing them and Poof up] get up! You gotta float! [starts juggling the fairies as they scream]
- Crocker: Ah, Timothy! Learning to juggle with screaming colorful stuffed animals that feel pain! That makes perfect sense! No fairies here! [screams spastically and starts walking into the school]
- Timmy: No, Mr. Crocker, wait! [sighs] Okay, time for plan B! [fade to a trash can filled with Crocker's fairy paraphernalia outside the Crockers' house, the site of a "fairy-free fiesta". Cosmo and Wanda are being hoisted in front of the door]
- Wanda: [holding Poof] Do you really think this will work, sport? We don't have any magic!
- Timmy: No, but we're gonna pretend we do! [rings the doorbell]
- Crocker: [from inside] Ha ha! Good one, Pedro! [opens the door] Hello, Timothy! Bienvenido to my fairy-free fiesta! Have some fairy-free finger foods!
- Timmy: Oh, no, thanks, Mr. Crocker! But I did bring you a little party surprise! [lowers the fairies]
- Wanda: Look, we're floating!
- Cosmo: Yeah! Smell the magic!
- Crocker: I don't believe it! It can't possibly be! It's... f...f-f-f...f-f...f-f...
- Timmy: Say it, Mr. Crocker! Say it!
- Crocker: ...f-f-f...f...fancy talking piñatas! [Timmy and the fairies stop smiling] Oh, thank you, Turner! [laughs as he and party guests charge at the fairies. Wanda drops Poof, and she and Cosmo scream. Timmy catches Poof, and the guests start beating Cosmo and Wanda with baseball bats]
- Timmy: All right, Poof. If the magic can't come to Mr. Crocker, we'll bring Mr. Crocker to the magic!
- Poof: Poof poof!
- Timmy: All we need are some bus tokens and a burlap sack! [fade to Fairy World. A Fairy World bus stops on the bridge. A burlap sack is thrown out of the bus, and Crocker shouts from inside. Timmy jumps out of the bus, and it drives off. He dumps Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof out of his backpack. Crocker makes it halfway out of the sack]
- Crocker: Where are we?
- Timmy: Mr. Crocker, welcome to the most magical, colorful, fairy-filled place in the universe: Fairy World. [Fairy World is dull and destitute. One fairy is playing a harmonica. Another has a sign reading "Wands for sale!" Cracked houses are for sale. A long line of fairies is walking to a soup kitchen]
- Crocker: Fairy World? I've seen more magic at a bus stop in Toledo! But that's a story for another time.
- Timmy: Whoa! Without magic, Fairy World looks horrible!
- Jorgen: Turner, we are almost out of power! [the Big Giant Wand runs out of power] Gah! The Big Giant Wand is empty! If we don't restore power, Fairy World will fall out of the sky!
- Crocker: You're as crazy as a hoot owl! [holding up a business card] Try Dr. Fancyfree! She'll cure you in no time!
- Timmy: [takes the card] Dr. Fancyfree! That's it! She cured Mr. Crocker! Maybe she can uncure him too! If only we had a little more magic, we could poof to her office!
- Wanda: A little more magic coming up! [she puts a cup on the ground and puts Cosmo through a wringer, which squeezes magic out of him and into the cup. She puts his flat body on a clothesline and beats it with a racket to get more magic out] One cup of magic to go! [she puts her wand in the cup, and it absorbs most of the magic]
- Timmy: Awesome! I wish we were at Dr. Fancyfree's office! [Wanda poofs herself, Timmy, Poof, and Cosmo away]
- Crocker: [to Jorgen] Could I borrow a bus token? [cut to Fancyfree's office. The door now has the label "couples therapist" taped to it. Timmy and the fairies poof in inside a potted plant]
- Mayor: [to Fancyfree] I eat goat meat one lousy time, and he can't let it go! I'm only human! I have needs too!
- Fancyfree: Don't worry, Mayor! Once I hypnotize Chompy, he'll completely forget about your indiscretions. But to protect myself from lawsuits, I always include a secret phrase to undo the trance. It's something no one would ever say to a patient.
- Timmy: That's it! All we need to do is figure out Mr. Crocker's secret phrase!
- Cosmo: I'm on it! [uses the wand to poof everyone back to Fairy World]
- Timmy: Ah! Cosmo, no! We need to ask Dr. Fancyfree the secret phrase! Poof us back! [the wand goes limp] Oh, no! There's no more magic! [Fairy World shakes. People scream. Fairy World tilts and starts falling]
- Jorgen: And Fairy World is starting to fall out of the sky! If we don't get some power back, we will plunge right into Giant Bucket of Acid World!
- Wanda: You built Fairy World over a place called Giant Bucket of Acid World?
- Jorgen: In hindsight, I see it was not the best idea.
- Timmy: There's no time to waste! We have to figure out the one thing that no one would ever say to Mr. Crocker! It's the only way to undo the hypnosis! [everyone runs up to Crocker, who is playing a harmonica]
- Wanda: Uh, Mr. Crocker, you're a gorgeous hunk!
- Jorgen: Mr. Crocker, you are not a pathetic weirdo!
- Cosmo: Mr. Crocker, I love your ham!
- Poof: Poof poof poof poof poof!
- Timmy: Ah! We're still falling!
- Wanda: Mr. Crocker, you've won the Nobel Prize!
- Jorgen: Mr. Crocker, I think it is cool that you live with your mother!
- Cosmo: Seriously, Mr. Crocker, nice ham!
- Timmy: Wait a minute... I've got it! I can't believe I'm saying this, but... Mr. Crocker, you're the best teacher ever! [Crocker's eyes become swirls]
- Crocker: Gah! Hump inflating... [his hump returns] ears descending... [his ear returns to his neck] obsessive feelings returning... [hunches forward; looking at buildings] Eh? Fairy Franks?! Fairy Film Festival?! [turns around] Fairy Fro-Yo?! This can only be the work of... [spasming] fairies! [to a fairy] You're a fairy! [vibrant color and magic start to return to Fairy World; to another fairy] And— And you're a fairy! [spasming] Fairies! Fairies! [Fairy World stops falling right above Giant Bucket of Acid World and starts rising]
- Timmy: It's working! Fairy World is floating again! [fairies cheer]
- Wanda: Jorgen, I hope you've learned that you can't rely on Crocker to power Fairy World single-handedly.
- Jorgen: Don't worry. We're not going to rely on one lone nutjob for power anymore! We're going to rely on all the nutjobs in the world! [in front of the Eiffel Tower, a man resembling Crocker sees a fairy]
- Frenchman: [as his spasming is harnessed for energy] Sacre bleu! Fairy godparents! [falls to the ground. Near a Russian cathedral, a man resembling Crocker sees fairies. As his spasming is harnessed, he screams "Fairy godparents!" in a different language, and snow from the dome above him falls on him. In Spain, a man resembling Crocker and running away from bulls sees fairies go past him]
- Spaniard: ¡Ay, caramba! [as his spasming is harnessed] Fairy godparents! [falls to the ground] ¡Ay, caramba! [power returns to the Big Giant Wand]
- Jorgen: Fairy World is back to normal! [Crocker spasms around, destroying things]
- Crocker: Fairies! Fairies! Fairies! Fairies! [Jorgen grabs him tightly by the neck]
- Jorgen: [to Timmy] Now get him out of here before he wrecks the place.
- Timmy: We just have to make sure Mr. Crocker never stops believing in fairies ever again! [fade to Dimmsdale Psychiatric Institute]
- Crocker: Thanks for seeing me again, Dr. Fancyfree!
- Fancyfree: Well, as long as you agree to my conditions. [Crocker is in a straitjacket strapped to a chair and is wearing a Hannibal Lecter–type mask] Obviously, hypnosis didn't work, so let's start fresh. There's no such thing as... [pauses and blinks] fairies! [Poof is riding Cosmo, a donkey, and Timmy is riding Wanda, a flying carpet. The four of them are waving at her from outside the window] I see fairies! [spasming and damaging the room] Fairies! Fairies! Fairies!
- Crocker: You go, girl! Fairy godparents! [iris out. The end title card is shown. Fade to black]
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OY!C ★ 1 ★ 2 ★ 3 ★ 4 ★ 5 ★ 6 ★ 7 ★ 8 ★ 9 ★ 10 | ||
#01 Anti-Poof | #02 Add-a-Dad | #03 Squirrely Puffs |
#04 Mice Capades | #05 Formula For Disaster | #06 Bad Heir Day |
#07 Freaks & Greeks | #08 Fly Boy | #09 Temporary Fairy |
#10 Crocker Shocker | #11 Super Zero | #12 Dadbra-Cadabra |
#13 Timmy Turnip | #14 One Man Banned | #15 Frenemy Mine |
#16 Chicken Poofs | #17 Stupid Cupid | #18 Double-Oh Schnozmo! |
#19 Planet Poof | #20 The Boss Of Me | #21 He Poofs He Scores |
#22 Playdate of Doom | #23 Teacher's Pet | #24 Manic Mom-Day |
#25 Crocker of Gold | #26 Beach Blanket Bozos | #27 Poltergeeks |
#28 Old Man and the C- | #29 Balance of Flour | #30 Food Fight |
#31 Please Don't Feed The Turners | #32 Take and Fake | #33 Cosmo Rules |
#34 Lights Out | #35 Dad Overboard | #36 Farm Pit |
#37 Crock Talk | #38 Spellementary School | #39 Operation Dinkleberg |