Jorgen: [appears] Am I awesome or what? Another successful morning of enforcing Da Rules and preventing fairy godkids from all over the world from wishing up total chaos! [as a can of soda appears in his hand] Most fairies would crack under this kind of pressure, but not me. Then again, I am talking to a can of Fizzy Juice. [drinks soda] Ah.
[Jorgen hiccups. A top hat and scarf appear on him. He hiccups again and his clothes turn into a suit]
Jorgen: Oh, no! The Fizzy Juice has given me the trick-ups, which are bouts of hiccups accompanied by bouts of cheesy... [hiccups, making a deck of cards appear in his hand] parlor magic!
[He flicks the cards to his other hand. They disappear and a rabbit appears under his hat]
Jorgen: Perhaps a glass of water will cure me.
[He hiccups, then pulls a string of handkerchiefs out of his sleeve. The last handkerchief is around a bomb with a lit fuse]
Jorgen: Not water! [screams]
[The bomb blows up the fort. Jorgen hiccups and his damage sustained from the explosion goes away]
Jorgen: I cannot enforce Da Rules with the trick-ups! And only another Von Strangle can replace me. The universe is in grave peril, unless... [looks at a lever beside him] Conveniently placed family-locating lever, [pulls the lever] take me to the nearest Von Strangle! [disappears]
[Cut to the Turners' house in the morning. Timmy wakes up and sees Jorgen in his bed. He screams and Jorgen screams, then they scream at once. Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof appear]
Cosmo: [screams] Wanda, it's your turn! Scream!
Timmy: Jorgen? What are you doing here?
Jorgen: I don't know. Quick, get my Nana Boom Boom on the videophone. [Wanda does so] Nana Boom Boom, I need your help!
Nana Boom Boom: Jorgen, I told you never to interrupt me when I am playing exploding bingo. [stamping a bingo card] Bingo! [a player behind her explodes]
Timmy: Wow. That's some freaky bingo.
Jorgen: Nana, please! Can't you see I need a replacement...
[Jorgen hiccups. Wanda becomes tall and floats sideways]
Jorgen: [moving a hoop around Wanda] to enforce Da Rules until I am better? [hiccups]
Nana Boom Boom: Did you use your conveniently placed family locator lever?
Jorgen: Yes. But for some reason, it brought me to Timmy Turner's house. It must be broken.
Nana Boom Boom: No, it is not. But soon, your heart will be. Brace yourself, Jorgen, because the only available Von Strangle is in that room with you. [everyone in the room looks at Jorgen]
Jorgen: [looks around] Oh, please let it be my invisible cousin Leonard.
Nana Boom Boom: No. He is in the Bahamas.
[Leonard is shown on a beach]
Nana Boom Boom: But say hello to your other, more deep dark family-secret–ish cousin: Cosmo! [someone explodes behind her]
Jorgen and Cosmo: Cousins? [they look at each other] Noooooooooo... [a day passes and Jorgen falls over]
Cosmo: ...way! This is the most awesome day of my life!
Jorgen: Oh... I just had the most horrible dream that Cosmo was my cousin, and I had the trick-ups. [he hiccups and doves fly out of his sleeves]
Cosmo: It was a dream! A dream come true! Now that we're cousins, we can do all sorts of everything together! We'll go camping, do a little antiquing, braid each other's hair... [gives Jorgen pigtails]
Jorgen: This cannot be possible. I need to check out the Von Strangle family tree. [makes a gigantic tree with pictures of Von Strangles hanging from it appear outside]
Cosmo: Look, there I am! On that broken, withered branch at the very bottom!
Jorgen: [groans] As much as it horrifies me to say this, until I am better, you are in charge of Da Rules. [poofs up Da Rules] All you have to do is enforce exactly what is written in this book.
Cosmo: Ooh!
Jorgen: Here, take my wand. [gives it to him] You will need all its magic to help you. [Cosmo falls to the floor] Eh... Without my wand, I feel like half the man I used to be.
[Jorgen hiccups and a booth appears around him. He hiccups again and a saw cuts him and the booth in two]
Jorgen: Great. Now I really am half the man I used to be.
Wanda: Come on, Jorgen. Poof and I'll take you home and help you get rid of those trick-ups.
Jorgen: Cosmo, the fate of the universe rests on your extremely wimpy and fragile shoulders.
Cosmo: You can count on me, cuz!
Jorgen: Do not call me that!
Cosmo: Okay, cuz! [Jorgen screams, then he, Wanda, and Poof disappear]
Timmy: Cosmo, this is awesome. Without Jorgen enforcing Da Rules, we can do whatever we want!
Cosmo: Oh, no, Timmy. I'm a super important Von Strangle now. And it's up to me to enforce what's written in this book. [dresses like Jorgen] And there's nothing you can do to distract me!
Timmy: Cookie? [throws one out the window]
Cosmo: [flying after the cookie] My life is complete!
Timmy: Jorgen said whatever's in the book is a rule, so... [writes on a page in Da Rules]
Cosmo: [comes back eating the cookie] We Von Strangles are excellent hunters of baked goods. [falls to the floor]
Timmy: You know what else you Von Strangles are good at? Granting wishes. So, can you poof me up a zillion dollars, please?
Cosmo: [chuckles] No can do, Timmy. Rule 96: Wishing for money is forbidden.
Timmy: Even for me? You better check. Page one, at the top. In green crayon.
Cosmo: [reading] "Timmy Turner doesn't have to follow any of Da Rules."
Timmy: I don't? Well, whaddaya know? I guess I'll take that zillion bucks now. You know what else would be great? Winning American Kid Gladiators. Oh, and having Trixie Tang fall madly in love with me. Come on! Chop, chop! Cosmo Von Strangle, enforce those rules!
Cosmo: Well, usually winning a contest and finding true love are against Da Rules, but you can't argue with official-looking green crayon! [struggles to lift the wand and uses it to stamp "approved" on Timmy's forehead]
Timmy: Yes!
[A pile of money appears below Timmy. The room becomes a stadium. He appears in an American Gladiators-type outfit and a pugil stick appears in his hand. A man with another pugil stick confronts him and his pugil stick becomes a big flyswatter that he uses to knock the man off the money pile]
Announcer: And newcomer Timmy Turner has won the championship!
Trixie: I love you, Timmy Turner! [Timmy smiles smugly]
[Fade to Fort Jorgen, where Jorgen's upper half is on a couch. A toilet flushes offscreen and his legs come and sit on the couch]
Jorgen: On the bright side, I don't have to get up to use the bathroom.
[Jorgen hiccups. Flowers appear in Poof's ears and he giggles]
Wanda: I got it! Doctor Rip Studwell's 228 Ways to Cure the Trick-Ups. [reading the book] Number one: Drink as much water as you can as fast as you can. [Poof laughs and makes a wave break over the three of them] Well? Did it work? [Jorgen hiccups and a fish appears in his mouth]
Jorgen: [spits out the fish] At least it wasn't a swordfish. [he hiccups and a big swordfish appears in his throat] Ah! Swordfish! [spits it out]
[Cut to Timmy kicking a football through several goal posts. He gets a score of 71, and a crowd of Trixies cheers. One Trixie tosses a flower to him]
Timmy: [sniffs the flower] I'd like to solve the puzzle. "Timmy Turner rocks"! [the word rocks appears on a Wheel of Fortune–type board] Why, yes, I do. [into a microphone]♪ Yes, I dooooo! ♪
[Three judges score Timmy a 10. People cheer and Trixies start carrying him]
Timmy: Today is so totally awesome! Cosmo, I wish all fairy godkids had a rule-free day like me!
Cosmo: Sorry, Timmy. Not every godkid is above the rules like you. And I'm going to use every ounce of my razor-sharp focus to keep it that way.
Timmy: Fondue?
Cosmo: Yay! [Timmy tosses a pot of fondue and Cosmo flies after it laughing]
Timmy: [writing in Da Rules] No godkid has to follow any of these rules. There. Let the rule-free wishing begin. [turns on a TV]
Chet Ubetcha: [on TV] This is Chet Ubetcha with breaking news. Kids have gone crazy around the world! It's raining Susan B. Anthony dollars on little Susan C. Anthony's house! Skinny little Irving Schwab has just won the World's Strongest Man competition!
Irving Schwab: Yay! My wish came true!
Chet: And Junior Miss Universe has fallen head-over-heels in love with this kid. [he is pointing to a picture of a boy with a pimply face and a shirt reading "Gamer"] As if by magic, the world has been plunged into kid-related chaos!
Timmy: Chaos? I like it! Way less boring. [Da Rules glow and fracture] Uh-oh. That can't be good.
[The sky becomes overcast and the Turners' house starts floating. Out the window, Timmy sees Mr. Crocker riding a bike and Chester and AJ in a rowboat. Trixies scream as they are blown out the window. Cosmo appears with the pot and is about to eat fondue when a bolt from Da Rules knocks the pot away]
Timmy: Ah! Cosmo, help!
Cosmo: Relax, Timmy. You just have to show him who's boss. Bad Rules! Heel! [a bolt from Da Rules knocks him away] Well, now we know who's boss.
[Cut to Wanda roaring as a giant pufferfish]
Wanda: Did that scare your trick-ups away? [Jorgen hiccups] Hey! You didn't do a trick that time! It's working!
Jorgen: That is what you think. [Wanda turns back to normal] The Statue of Liberty just disappeared.
[Cut to the Statue of Liberty's pedestal. There are magical sparkles where the statue was]
[Cut to the Turners' living room]
Mr. Turner: Honey, the Statue of Liberty is in our living room again.
[Cut to Fort Jorgen]
Wanda: Oh. Well, at least Cosmo must be doing okay. After all, the universe hasn't fallen apart or anything. [an alarm blares]
Jorgen: That is my "the universe is falling apart" siren! Quick, poof us to Turner's! [Wanda does so] Cosmo, what have you done to Da Rules?
Cosmo: Don't worry, Cousin Jorgen! I totally got this!
[Cosmo screams and gets down. A bolt from Da Rules chars Jorgen]
Jorgen: You are a bigger moron than I thought. Which is really saying something.
Cosmo: First of all, I'm the same size moron I've always been. Second of all, I don't know how this happened. I didn't do anything wrong.
Timmy: Cosmo's right for once. It's not his fault. I used this green crayon to change the rules so there were none.
Jorgen and Cosmo: You did what?
Cosmo: How dare you borrow my green crayon?
Jorgen: Turner, because of you, kids everywhere are making wishes willy-nilly! Every rule-free wish destabilizes the book further. And here is the really bad part: If the book explodes, so does the universe.
[A bolt shoots out of the house and makes the Moon fracture. Another bolt hits the ocean, making it disappear. Another bolt destroys the Fairy World bridge and Fairy World starts falling]
Timmy: I'm sorry. How do we stop it?
Jorgen: The unstable magic from the book must be contained by a Von Strangle! And I am no condition to do it! [his legs walk into his upper half]
Cosmo: But I am! Stand back, cousin. I'll handle this! [zips toward Da Rules]
Jorgen: Cosmo, no!
Cosmo: [flies into Da Rules] I can't handle it! [Da Rules blast him away]
Jorgen: [grabs Cosmo] You are not strong enough to do it alone. Quick, grab my halves, and we will attempt to absorb the magic... together!
[Jorgen throws Cosmo and his legs at Da Rules. He and Cosmo try to push Da Rules back together]
Cosmo: I'm slipping!
Jorgen: You can do it, Cosmo! After all, you're a... a...
Cosmo: Say it! Say it!
Jorgen: ...a Von Strangle!
Cosmo: Yes! He called me a Von Strangle! This is the best day ever! [becomes muscular] Now pull!
[Da Rules are pushed back together. The house lands and the sky clears up. Jorgen, now back to normal, recovers and looks at himself]
Jorgen: Wow! That scared the trick-ups right out of me! For a little guy, you are showing some big Von Strangle bravery!
Cosmo: Say it! Say it!
Jorgen: Don't push it, cousin.
Cosmo: You said it! Family hug! [hugs Jorgen]
Wanda: Cosmo, I'm so proud of you.
Timmy: Yeah! We saved the universe! High-five, guys! [notices Cosmo, Wanda, and Jorgen glaring at him]
Wanda: Timmy Turner, of all the irresponsible things you've ever done...
