Cosmo: Ah, I know! It's snow cone time! No, no, wait, it's hammer time! [dances in hammer pants until a hammer hits him] Don't tell me! It's time to scratch that embarrassing itch! [scratching himself] Ohhhh, yeah. Oh, that's it, baby.
Timmy: Even better. It's time to wish up the latest Crimson Chin comic! [Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof poof up the comic] "The Crimson Chin Battles the Blues!" Awesome! [opens the comic to panels of the Chin lying and crying in bed] "Sob"? "Boo-hoo"? Empty bowls of ice cream? This issue is just the Chin in bed all day!
Wanda: Maybe he's just weary from all that exciting fighting he's done lately.
Timmy: I doubt it. He hasn't done any fighting lately. Look! [gives Wanda some comics]
Wanda: "The Chin vs. That Empty Feeling"? "The Chin Fights Back the Tears"?
Timmy: I want my hero brawling, not bawling! And we're going to fix it. I wish I was Cleft the Boy Chin Wonder and you were my sidekicks, and we were in Chincinnati! [the fairies turn Timmy into Cleft and themselves into Chin-Hounds]
Cosmo: Look! It's Puppy Poof! The newest crime-fighting canine to take Chincinnati by storm! [Poof blinks at Timmy]
Timmy: To the Cave of Chin-itude! [the four of them go into one of the comics and fly to the Chin's hideout]
Crimson Chin: [cries] Cleft, did you ever notice everything has a pair? Your one buck tooth has that other buck tooth. Clefto has his Ace. Look, now they have a puppy. Everybody's got love but me! [cries]
Wanda: Wow, he's a mess. [the Bronze Kneecap breaks through the roof holding a bag of money]
Bronze Kneecap: Ha ha! It is I, the Bronze Kneecap, and I've stolen lots of money. And I defy you, Crimson Chin, to try and stop me!
Timmy: Here's your chance, Chin! You're being defied! It's time to stop crying and start fighting! [a laptop displays "Incoming message!", surprising the Chin]
Crimson Chin: Jumpin' jawlines! A response to my online personal ad! Chin away! [flies off through the roof]
Timmy: Online personal ad? Letting Kneecap off the hook? What's going on?
Bronze Kneecap: He lets me go all the time now. Did you know I don't even need this money? [dropping the bag of money] I'm loaded. [he walks off but grabs the money before leaving]
Timmy: Don't worry, he's going to fight crime. Clefto, Ace, and Poof—away! [cut to Chincinnati's Chez Fancy. Timmy and the Chin-Hounds break in through the wall; to the Chin] A bistro? You're in a bistro? Where's the action? The fighting? And why are you dressed like that?
Crimson Chin: I told her I'd be the one wearing the cool super suit with a white hat and holding a single red rose.
Timmy: Told who? A galactic she-villain who's about to walk into your trap of justice?
Crimson Chin: No, my date! Her online ID is "WaterLily231". Isn't that lovely? [H2Olga enters]
Timmy: "Water Lily"? More like Water Snake! That's H2Olga, your archenemy!
Crimson Chin: Chattering chinchillas! This is terrible! Wait. I have an idea! [he puts his hat on Timmy, gives him the rose, and flies away. H2Olga steps up to Timmy and blinks]
Timmy: Uh... [flirtily] heeeeyyy.
H2Olga: Sorry, but you're too young for me. But call me when you have driver's licenses. [leaves]
Timmy: Blind dates? The Chin needs to find villains and fight off evil!
Wanda: But Timmy, isn't it obvious? He wants to find love and fight off loneliness.
Timmy: Yeah, yeah. Which is pathetic. But if we can help him find it, then he can stop looking and start fighting!
Cosmo: That could work. Or fail and make things worse like you usually do. Hammer time! [a hammer hits him] Ow!
Timmy: I wish the Chin would find the love of his life. [Cosmo and Wanda grant the wish: A woman materializes above the building and flies off. Cut to outside a robbed jewelry store]
Bronze Kneecap: [holding up jewelry] I, the Bronze Kneecap, don't even need this—but I defy anyone to defy me! Anyone!
Timmy: [offscreen] Halt, Knee-Jerk! [he and the Chin-Hounds run up to the Kneecap. The Kneecap grabs him with his kneecap]
Bronze Kneecap: To add to my defiance, I've cleft-napped the Crimson Chin's bucktoothed sidekick! Now defy me! Please! I'm bored! [the woman shows up] Hey, who's the new girl?
Golden Locks: The name is Golden Locks, [throws a card] villain! [the Chin catches the card]
Crimson Chin: [reading] "The hair-oine from Hair-isburg: single and loves kids!"
Golden Locks: [picks up Poof with her hair] You're cute. [sets him down; to the Kneecap] And you're going down!
Bronze Kneecap: Finally! Some action around here! [launches rockets at her]
Golden Locks: Activate helmet hair! [she uses her hair as a shield, and the rockets explode harmlessly on contact] My conditioner moisturizes and protects! [people cheer. Cosmo and Wanda smile at each other] Now, let's set... [sprays the Kneecap with a hair product] and dry! [she uses a hair dryer to dry the spray, trapping the Kneecap. She takes Timmy and tickles his nose. People cheer]
Crimson Chin: Chinimy Cricket! You were... hair-ific!
Golden Locks: My golden locks go straight to my heart of gold. And that heart beats for the safety of all children. [she waves to Poof and Timmy, and they wave back]
Crimson Chin: Will you... fight crime... with me?
Golden Locks: You bet your lockjaw of love I will. [they fly off together]
Cosmo: [crying] I love happy endings!
Timmy: I wish we were home! [the fairies grant the wish] Now I wish I had next month's action-packed Crimson Chin comic!
Wanda: One action-packed comic book from the future, coming up! [she and Cosmo grant the wish]
Timmy: "The Crimson Chin and Golden Locks in: 'The Getaway!'" Sweet! They must be chasing an ultimate villain. [reading the comic] Why are they picnicking on the beach? That's not action-y. This dynamic duo isn't stopping bad guys from getting away! They're on a romantic getaway!
Wanda: Diamond engagement rings? This is the best comic ever! Look, there's a key lime pie recipe on the back!
Timmy: This is bad. I wish I was back in Chincinnati! [the fairies poof everyone there. The four of them watch the Chin get an engagement ring] If the Chin gets married, he might never make another action-packed comic again! [Golden Locks flies by in a heart-shaped blaze] I want action, not fatal attraction! I wish Golden Locks wasn't in the comic anymore! [the fairies raise their wands and rattle, which go limp] Lemme guess. True love, right? Fine! Then I'll wish Golden Locks into a supervillain so evil that the Chin will have no choice but to break up with her! [the fairies look at each other and zap Golden Locks, making her scream. She falls onto a salon and transforms into a supervillain]
Hair Razor: Citizens of Chincinnati! I have come to destroy you! [electricity comes from her hair]
Timmy: Awesome! Static electricity hair powers! [the Hair Razor electrocutes a trash can and a tree beside Timmy]
Crimson Chin: Golden Locks, I have a surprise for you— Holy overbites!
Hair Razor: And I have a surprise for you! I'm not your golden girl anymore. I'm the Hair Razor! Extra hold powers, go! [with her hair, she grabs two giant spray cans, two trucks of hair gel, and three hair stylists] I've stolen all of Chincinnati's hair care products and stylists! You will all wake up to unmanageable hair and split ends! [laughs evilly. People gasp. She uses electricity to make their hair stand on end and cuts it with hers, then does the same with the stylists]
Stylist: We're all going to look like freaks!
Crimson Chin: Release those shampoos, gels, and flamboyant stylists, or I'll wash, rinse, and repeat with justice!
Hair Razor: Never! Now taste my hairpins of doom! [he dodges the hairpins she shoots at him. Her hair takes the forms of scissors and a razor, and she tries to hit the Chin with it]
Crimson Chin: I know you're in there, Goldy! Break free of this evil facade. And be mine. [the present he is holding opens, revealing the ring]
Hair Razor: Sorry, Crimson Chump, but her golden heart is under my lock and key! [the present closes]
Crimson Chin: Then I'll break her free! [the Hair Razor cuts the fin on his costume off and tries to razor him]
Hair Razor: Oh, by the way, I always hated your chinny-chin-chin! [something breaks in the Chin's chest, and he falls onto a building. The present falls from his grasp]
Timmy: Chin, what happened? She didn't even hit you.
Crimson Chin: No, but she's broken my heart. I can't go on, Cleft! I surrender!
Hair Razor: Yes! I will rule Chincinnati! I love being evil! [she strikes the city with electricity, making people scream and run away]
Timmy: I should have never messed with Chin's heart and true love.
Wanda: And?
Timmy: And I'm a selfish, comic book action–loving jerk? But not anymore. I wish the Hair Razor was Golden Locks again! [the fairies try to grant the wish, which fails] Oh, what now?!
Wanda: She's "truly" in love with her evil self!
Cosmo: That's the greatest love of all!
Timmy: But the Hair Razor said she had Goldy's golden heart locked up! So, we'll unlock it.
Wanda: With what?
Timmy: The power of love. Chin. Throw me off the building, and no matter what I say, none of you are to save me. Chin, I know this goes against everything you know, but you have to throw me off— [the Chin kicks him off the building, and he screams] I changed my mind! Wanda! Parachute—now! [the fairies raise their wands and rattle]
Crimson Chin: No, no, remember what he said.
Timmy: Golden Locks! Help! You said your heart of gold beat for the safety of children! Well, check it out! Kid not safe here!
Hair Razor: The Hair Razor's heart is stone cold and doesn't care about punks plummeting to their doom!
Timmy: Save me! Please! I'm a kid in danger!
Hair Razor: No! I will never... [she screams as she turns back into Golden Locks]
Golden Locks: ...save that falling child! [she catches a screaming Timmy and sets him down]
Timmy: Nice catch. And speaking of nice catches—here comes the Chin. [the Chin and the fairies drop to the ground]
Golden Locks: Oh, Chinny, deep in my heart, your chin had left a permanent mark! Let's never fight again.
Timmy, Wanda, Cosmo, and Poof: Awww!
Wanda: You okay with this lovey-dovey stuff, sport?
Timmy: If the Chin's happy, I'm happy.
Crimson Chin: [offering Golden Locks the ring] Goldy. Won't you be mine—forever?
Golden Locks: Are you nuts? I could never marry a guy who throws kids off buildings. But we can still be friends. Golden Locks away! [flies off]
Crimson Chin: It hurts so bad! [he starts crying, and Timmy uses an umbrella to block his tears]
Timmy: I guess it's back to the personal ads. [fade to Chez Fancy]
Crimson Chin: [wearing the hat] So, who answered the ad this time?
