|The Fairly OddParents episode transcript|
|Airdate:||April 27, 2001|
(The episode starts at a comic heroes convention center)
- Timmy: Boy! Comic book fantasy and reality avoidance expo, where people who really like this stuff can get together and prove they're not geeks! And this year, I'm gonna get my comic book signed by the Crimson Chin! He's the greatest superhero ever!
- Chester: I'm here for the costume contest! (wooden axe breaks)
- AJ: (dressed in cardboard boxes) There's a costume contest?
(the next scene shows inside the convention, the camera pans to Timmy next to a Crimson Chin sign)
- Timmy: Cool, the Crimson Chin! I wish Cosmo and Wanda could be here to see this!
- Cosmo: (floating above him along with Wanda) Hi, Timmy!
- Timmy: Hi Cosmo, hi Wanda! What are you doing?! (drags a signboard for them to hide behind) You know the rules, if anyone finds you I never get to see you again!
- Cosmo: Relax! We're here every year!
- Wanda: Oh everybody's in costume. Nobody ever knows we're real. As long as everybody thinks we're big-headed kids in costume, we haven't broken the rules!
- Kid in tree costume: Hey, nice wings, big-headed kid!
- Cosmo: Thanks, great use of mulch!
- Man on speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your favorite superhero, and mine...
(Timmy gets to front row)
- Timmy: He's here, he's here!
- Man on speaker: The Crimson Chin!
(curtain reveals a fat man in costume and no one cheers)
- Wanda: Wow, the Crimson Chin really let himself go!
(the fat man in the Crimson Chin costume falls down the steps)
- Timmy: That Crimson Chin stinks!
- Cosmo: Looks like he eats too!
- Timmy: I wish the real Crimson Chin were here!
- Cosmo: Hey, we can do that! (leans next to Wanda) One hero...
- Wanda: ...with everything on it!
(they wave their wands and the Crimson Chin flies out of Timmy's comic book)
- Timmy: It's the real Crimson Chin!
- Crimson Chin: In the name of all that is right, I... what? (hits Cosmo and Wanda with his chin) Hey! This isn't my world. I'm much more heavily inked than you are! Where am I?!
- Timmy: You're in Dimmsdale! And I'm Timmy, I'm your biggest fan!
- Crimson Chin: I was just in a heroic battle of good versus evil when suddenly... great jaws of justice! Spatula Woman!
- Timmy: But that's just a geek in a costume--
- Crimson Chin: (puts his hand over Timmy's eyes) No, don't look! She's not nice! Egad! Country boy and one of his deadly exploding pig grenades! And my arch-nemesis, with his kneecap of death, the Bronze Kneecap! Clearly I have stumbled into some sort of massive supervillain hoo-ha!
- Wanda: He thinks they're actual bad guys!
- Cosmo: And with his powers, he's gonna rip through them like tissue!
- Crimson Chin: Time to eat chin, felons! (flies towards them)
- Timmy: No! I wish his powers didn't work!
(Cosmo and Wanda stop his powers, and Crimson Chin falls out the air)
- Kid in pink costume: Cool wands, where'd you get them?
- Cosmo and Wanda: Uhh, internet?
- Crimson Chin: My powers, gone. Must be some chin-tonyte in this facility. Holy genesis! (picks up Timmy's comic book) This periodical, it reveals my secret identity!
- Timmy: Yeah, Charles Hampton Indigo! Reporter for the Daily Blabbity!
- Crimson Chin: Quiet! My location point, the Chinstrap of Solitude...
- Timmy: Just outside of Chincinnati.
- Crimson Chin: Stop that! And my dimple size! That's so personal. But... but how?!
- Timmy: Well, you're a made up character in my world.
- Crimson Chin: I don't understand!
- Timmy: Did you have an imaginary friend when you were a kid?
- Crimson Chin: Sure! Eddie! The furry gerbil, he was always so cute and...
- Timmy: That's you!
- Crimson Chin: (picks up Timmy) I'm an imaginary gerbil?
- Timmy: Basically. (dropped to the ground) Hey, are you ok?
- Crimson Chin: Oh, I'm fine. I'm just dealing with the fact that I don't exist!
- Timmy: But...
- Crimson Chin: Whatever. (kicks comic book to Timmy) Just put me back in my stupid made up book so I can go back and be fictional.
- Timmy: Ok. I wish you were back in the book with all your powers.
(Cosmo and Wanda poof in and put Crimson Chin him back inside his book. The next scene shows the inside of the book where the Crimson Chin face off against Country Boy and the Bronze Kneecap)
- Bronze Kneecap: I, the Bronze Kneecap, with my big bronze kneecap shall...
- Crimson Chin: (rocking back and forth) Do you mind? I'm having a bit of a breakdown here! (sucks his thumb)
- Wanda: He sure seems upset!
- Timmy: That's ok, he's a hero! Soon everything will be fine in the world of the Crimson Chin!
- Anchorman: Everything is not fine in the world of the Crimson Chin! Welcome to Hero Convention News! I'm Anchorman! Here's Anchorwoman!
- Anchorwoman: Thanks, Bob. We've learned that the latest Crimson Chin issue has everyone's favorite superhero lying in a fetal position crying for 32 full pages. The book's cancellation is imminent.
- Anchorman: Which is not fine!
(Timmy drops the book, which Super Janitor picks up and puts in the trash can before heroically running away)
- Timmy: Why are the new Crimson Chin books in the trash? (flicks through book) Fetal position, fetal position, fetal position... it's true! He's lost his fighting spirit and it's all my fault!
- Cosmo: Really? Cool, usually it's mine! I mean, I'm sorry Timmy, is there anything we can do?
- Timmy: Maybe I should go talk to him. I wish I could be in the Crimson Chin's comic book!
(Cosmo and Wanda poof Timmy into the book)
- Timmy: (walking across panels) Wow, being in a comic book is awesome! Cool, the Daily Blabbity! How am I supposed to get in? I know, I'll just go to the next panel and before you know it I'll be outside the office of... ace reporter Charles Hampton Indigo! Secretly the Crimson Chin!
(Timmy opens the door to find the Crimson Chin crying in a chair)
- Timmy: Excuse me, Mr. Indigo?
- Crimson Chin: What? Who is it? (turns around) You! You're the real boy who showed me I'm a big fat lie.
- Timmy: C'mon Charles, you're a hero!
- Crimson Chin: I'm no hero.
- Timmy: Sure you are! You gotta snap outta this, you have to remember the good times!
- Crimson Chin: Like when?
- Timmy: Like, over there! It's a flashback! To issue number one, when you were just a struggling talk show host bitten by a handsome radioactive actor!
- Crimson Chin: So has the radioactivity affected your love life? (gets bitten) Ahhh! My chin!
- Timmy: And in this panel, when your life changed forever...
- Crimson Chin: Feel funny... ahh, my chin is tingling...
- Timmy: That handsome actor's bite gave you amazing chin-tastic powers! And an amazing chin-tastic costume!
- Crimson Chin: I am the Crimson Chin!
- Timmy: (looks beside him to see Crimson Chin walking away) Hello? Wait!
- Crimson Chin: (swats Timmy away) Leave me alone! I'm going to bed.
- Timmy: But it's 10am!
- Crimson Chin: Not in this panel. (jumps into bed and sucks his thumb)
- Timmy: Man, hes depressed. He needs somebody at his side, to kick him into shape. (the words side-kick appear above him) What do they call those things? Oh yeah, sidekicks! (runs into an alley) This looks like a job for... (rips clothes off into his underwear, blushes and covers himself with his hat) Hey! Cosmo! Wanda! A little help please?
- Wanda: You want us to come in there, sweetie?
- Timmy: No, but I could use a cool sidekick costume.
(Cosmo's wand glows and gives Timmy a costume, turning him into Cleft)
- Cleft: Perfect! I'm off to fight crime as... Cleft! The boy chin wonder! And with my utility cleft, I can swing from panel to panel.
(meanwhile a cop is whistling to himself, until Spatula Woman scoops him up)
- Spatula Woman: I like my cops the way I like my eggs... (squashes him) scrambled!! (laughs)
- Cleft: And I like my cops not being flipped around on a big spatula thingy!
- Spatula Woman: (gasps) It's Cleft, the boy chin wonder!
- Cleft: (kicks her out of the panel) I gotta work on my heroic dialogue.
- Man: Help! Oh, help!
- Cleft: (pushes button on his chin and floats towards the next panel) Oh no! The Bronze Kneecap is holding the mayor of Chincinnati hostage!
- Mayor: You fiend! The Crimson Chin will stop you like he always does!
- Bronze Kneecap: Don't make me use this!
- Cleft: I better use the chin signal. (shines an image of a chin in the sky)
- Crimson Chin: The chin signal! I know what I must do! (goes back to sucking his thumb)
- Cleft: (from a nearby panel) Hey! You're supposed to spring into action! Why aren't you springing?
- Crimson Chin: Because this is all a lie! It's not real! What's my motivation?! (hears screaming townsfolk)
- Cleft: That's your motivation! Those are real fictional people in real fictional danger!
- Crimson Chin: You may be right!
- Cleft: I am right!
- Crimson Chin: No more doubts!
- Cleft: No more doubts!
- Crimson Chin: No more distractions!
- TV: We now return to "All My Parents Offspring"!
- Crimson Chin: Ooh, my soap! (sits down)
- Cleft: Fine! If you won't stop the Bronze Kneecap, I will! (gets tied up to a nuclear bomb in the shape of a hairy leg) Or not. Couldn't you have shaved this thing?
- Bronze Kneecap: Don't make me use this!
- Cleft: (gets blasted into the air) Crimson Chin is still a hero, right? He'll save me, right?
- Crimson Chin: (tapping the bottom of a ketchup bottle) Stupid ketchup!
- Cleft: Well, uh, besides I'm not in any real trouble, right? If I were in any real danger, my godparents would get me out of here, right?!
- Cosmo: (shaking a ketchup bottle over his and Wanda's hotdogs) Stupid ketchup!
- Cleft: (into a microphone) Chin, you gotta snap out of it! The city needs you, the world needs you, I need you! It doesn't matter if you're made up, you're real to me, Besides, what would Eddie the imaginary furry Gerbit say?
- Eddie: Charles! You can do it, Charles. Believe in yourself, like you used to believe in me! (chirps) Have faith, have faith, have faith!
(Crimson Chin drops his tub of ice cream)
- Cleft: (about to hit the Daily Blabbity) Oh man, this is it!
- Crimson Chin: By my mother's mandibles, I say nay! (stops the bomb with his chin)
- Cleft: It's the Crimson Chin! Nice going, CC! You saved me.
- Crimson Chin: Actually Timmy, you saved me... from myself. Wow, that was schmaltzy. Who'd you say writes my comic book?
- Cleft: Some forty year old dude who lives with his mom.
- Crimson Chin: Any money in it?
- Cleft: Lives with his mom.
- Crimson Chin: Right! Lets go kick some bad guy booty!
- Cleft: (a plane comes out his chin) Up, up, and away!
- Bronze Kneecap: Look, it's the Crimson Crybaby!
- Crimson Chin: That Crimson Chin is so last issue!
(Crimson Chin punches the Bronze Kneecap, until the kneecap hits him back and throws him backwards)
- Cleft: I got it, I got it! (catches Crimson Chin)
- Crimson Chin: Nice use of chin, Cleft.
- Cleft: Thanks!
- Bronze Kneecap: I warned you not to make me use this! (pellets shoot out of his knee) Now I'm using it!
- Cleft: Look out, dude! (jumps out the way)
- Crimson Chin: (lands behind the Bronze Kneecap) You might have a kneecap of bronze, Bronze Kneecap, but you've always had a jaw made of glass!
(Crimson Chin uppercuts him with his chin)
- Townsfolk: Hurray for the Crimson Chin!
- Cleft: It's been great working with you, Mr. Chin!
- Crimson Chin: The pleasure's all mine, Timmy! I'm glad we're pals. Whether I'm real or not, your part of my continuity now. After all, every chin needs a cleft.
- Cleft: Cool! What's next?
- Crimson Chin: Uh, nothing. It's the end of the book. See? That's the letters to the editors page where geeky comic fans write about how cool I am. Hey look, there's a letter from you!
- Cleft: Uh, I gotta go. (runs away)
- Crimson Chin: You spelled "chin" wrong! (laughs)
(later that evening at the convention)
- Announcer: And the winner of the costume contest, and the winner of the very valuable "Pretty Pony" issues 2 and 3 is...
(Cleft appears on stage)
- Announcer: Wow! What an amazing entrance and costume! Whoever you are, you win! (gives him the comics)
- Wanda: Oh, he's my hero!
- Cosmo: (holding a large sandwich) And this is mine! (poofs up some ketchup and shakes it with none of it coming out) Stupid ketchup!