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This article is a transcript of the Fairly OddParents episode "Chicken Poofs (episode)" from Season 7, which aired on November 2, 2009.
Transcript[]
- [Fade in on the Turners' house in the morning]
- Poof: [offscreen] Cock-a-doody-doo! [Cosmo and Timmy wake up and bury their heads in annoyance] Cock-a-doody-doo!
- Cosmo: Gah! If I hear another chicken sound, my head's going to explode!
- Poof: [offscreen] Cock-a-doody-doo! [Cosmo's head bursts. Poof is shown to be a chicken] Cock-a-doody-doo! [Wanda grabs him]
- Timmy: Whoa, what's wrong with Poof?
- Wanda: He's got the Chicken Poofs. It's a fairy childhood illness that turns you into a chicken.
- Cosmo: Luckily, it's not contagious. [Poof sneezes on him and he turns into a chicken]
- Wanda: Actually, it's highly contagious.
- Cosmo: Luckily, I'm immune. [pecks a corncob]
- Wanda: I've already called Dr. Rip Studwell. [emptying the fishbowl and putting it around Timmy's head] In the meantime, this should keep you from getting sick. [Studwell appears] Oh, Dr. Studwell, thank goodness you're here.
- Dr. Rip Studwell: Well, when I heard Poof was sick, I played a quick 18 holes of golf and rushed right over. Now let's check out our little patient. Hmm, looking good.
- Wanda: Are you crazy? He's got feathers and a beak! [Studwell is looking at himself in a mirror]
- Studwell: I was talking about me. Now, Wanda, why don't you cook up this chicken while I examine the patient?
- Timmy: That chicken is Poof! He's got the Chicken Poofs!
- Studwell: [chuckles] Excuse me, Billy. Did you go to medical school? Fortunately, I have the remedy right here. Once I give it to Poof, everyone he's infected will be magically cured as well. [he takes out a huge syringe and everyone else screams] What, do I have spinach in my teeth? [he points the syringe at Poof, who screams and zips out of the room]
- Timmy: Oh, no! Poof flew the coop! We better get him before he sneezes on my mom and dad! [Poof sneezes offscreen. Cut to the kitchen]
- Mrs. Turner: [as a chicken] Morning, Timmy! We're having cereal for breakfast. [clucks and lays an egg] I mean eggs.
- Mr. Turner: [as a chicken] Good morning, everyone! I'm the cock of the walk!
- Timmy: Ah! My parents have the Chicken Poofs! We got to catch Poof! [zips away. Mr. and Mrs. Turner kiss]
- Mr. Turner: Ooh, you taste like chicken. [cut to Timmy, Cosmo, Wanda, and Studwell following Poof down a sidewalk. Cut to the Crockers' house]
- Mr. Crocker: [in a bathtub] Ah! Nothing like a nice warm bath with my loofah sponge before a day of crushing children's dreams. I wish I had a rubber ducky. [Poof enters through a window and lands in the tub] Eh, guess I'll have to settle for this. [Poof sneezes on him and he turns into a chicken. Poof flies out]
- Mrs. Crocker: Denzel, what should I pack in your lunch box today? Ooh! How about chicken nuggets? [raises an axe]
- Crocker: [dodges the axe] Gah! Not the nuggets, Mother! [cut to Timmy, Cosmo, and Studwell looking around a street corner. They pass a toy store where Poof is hiding in the display window. Poof leaves the store and hops in the opposite direction, only for Wanda to catch him]
- Wanda: Mommy's got you, Poof. Now just hold still while the nice doctor gives you your medicine. [Studwell holds up the syringe and everyone else screams]
- Studwell: What, do I have a visible nostril hair? [removes a hair from his nose with tweezers. He screams in pain and drops the syringe, which breaks on the ground. Cosmo and Timmy scream. Poof escapes]
- Wanda: Poof!
- Timmy: Please tell me you have more medicine.
- Studwell: Sadly, Jerry, I don't. The only way to get more is to go deep into the Fairy World rainforest and pick a rare flower. It'll be dangerous, and survival is unlikely. Here's a map, Wanda. Call me if you get back.
- Wanda: Oh, no! You're coming with me! Cosmo, Timmy, it's up to you to catch Poof! [she and Studwell disappear]
- Timmy: Look! Poof's heading into that insurance building!
- Cosmo: Oh, no! We already have insurance! [cut to the U-Bet-Yer-Life Insurance building]
- Gene: Wow, Brad. Don't you love Bring Your Chicken Hawk to Work Day?
- Brad: I sure do, Gene. We sure are lucky to work for a company that lets you bring in your vicious, chicken-eating pet to the office. [several chicken hawks are perched on cubicles. Poof comes out of an elevator and Cosmo and Timmy get out of another and zip after him. Poof sneezes on multiple people, turning them into chickens, and chicken hawks smile menacingly at them. Poof hops into another elevator, whose doors close before Cosmo and Timmy can enter. Chickens rush past the two and are followed by chicken hawks]
- Cosmo: Boy, I'd hate to be a chicken in this place. Oh, wait. [chicken hawks attack him. He screams and he and Timmy get away. Cut to outside a chicken restaurant]
- Doug Dimmadome: In two hours, my new restaurant, Doug Dimmadome's Chicken Dippin' Dippadome, will be open for business. All I need for a perfect openin' day is my truck full of farm-fresh frozen chicken. [cut to a TV screen]
- Chet Ubetcha: Chet Ubetcha here with breaking news. A truck full of farm-fresh frozen chickens bound for Doug Dimmadome's Chicken Dippadome has just been carried away by a flock of hungry chicken hawks.
- Dimmadome: Dimmadang! Now where am I going to get a thousand chickens? [chickens stampede past him and chicken hawks fly after them] It's my clucky day! To the cluck truck! [drives off in a chicken-themed monster truck. Cut to Fairy World. Wanda and Studwell are in the rainforest]
- Wanda: Uh, where are we? I'm worried about Poof. Wow, it's hot. What time is it?
- Studwell: Quiet.
- Wanda: What? Did you hear something?
- Studwell: No. I just want you to be quiet. [Wanda becomes annoyed] There it is: the ancient temple of the clucktunia flower. Picking it won't be easy. There'll be danger at every turn. [beat] Good luck.
- Wanda: Wait a minute. Why am I the one who's going?
- Studwell: Because according to legend, only women can enter the temple and survive.
- Wanda: Well, we are smarter than men. [flies toward the temple]
- Studwell: Yes, she bought the legend thing! [Wanda lands at the temple's entrance. Inside, there is a flower on a pedestal]
- Wanda: This doesn't look too dangerous. [she walks forward and steps on a booby-trapped tile. A wall fires arrows that she flips to avoid. Studwell watches as she slowly grabs the flower. She turns to leave, and a chicken statue lays a big egg that rolls toward her. She screams, runs out of the temple, and lets the egg roll past her] I've got the flower, and I'm out of danger. [the egg rolls up and down a cliffside and crushes her against the temple] Or not. [falls to the ground. Women point spears at her. She gulps. Cut to Poof hopping down a street]
- Timmy: Poof, come back! Well, at least he's out of the city, where there aren't any people.
- Cosmo: Except maybe that giant stadium filled with a crowd of thousands. [Poof is hopping toward Pirate Stadium]
- Timmy: [screams] Cosmo, do something!
- Cosmo: You got it, Timmy! I'll poof us up some peanuts and a big foam finger! [does so]
- Timmy: No! Do something to stop Poof before he sneezes on the crowd! [Cosmo raises his wand. Poof enters the stadium. As he is about to sneeze, a clothespin appears over his beak. He swells up and floats over the stadium]
- Cosmo: Look! That giant purple blimp looks just like Poof!
- Timmy: That giant purple blimp is Poof! [the clothespin comes off and Poof sneezes into the stadium. Chickens run out]
- Dimmadome: Yeehaw! I hit the chicken jackpot! [presses a button that makes the truck suck in the chickens] The Chicken Dippin' Dippadome is back in bidness! Have a coupon, son. It's good for a free Cluck Shake. [gives Timmy a coupon and drives off]
- Timmy: Oh, no! Doug Dimmadome's opening a chicken restaurant today! Everyone who was in that stadium's going to end up on the menu! [cut to two women of the rainforest carrying a spit Wanda is tied to. Behind them, other women are carrying Studwell on a litter]
- Studwell: Wanda, I'm afraid there's good news and bad news. The bad news is, they're going to sacrifice you to the giant jungle eel who lives at the top of this volcano.
- Wanda: What's the good news?
- Studwell: Rita here has agreed to have brunch with me on Sunday. [Wanda is loaded into a catapult. She screams and gets launched, and women cheer. She screams and goes flying toward the top of the volcano, and the eel breathes fire on her. She grabs the flower and falls to the ground screaming while a woman strokes Studwell's hair. Cut to outside the Turners' house]
- Mr. Turner: Check it out, honey. We have the biggest nest on the street!
- Mrs. Turner: Ooh, I hate to ruffle your feathers, dear, but the neighbors' nest is even bigger. [a chicken Dinkleberg waves from his big nest]
- Mr. Turner: Curse you, Dinklebirds! [the four of them get sucked into Dimmadome's truck, which then drives off. Poof hops away from Timmy and Cosmo]
- Timmy: Oh, no! Doug's going to cook my mom and dad! Where's Wanda? [cut to the rainforest]
- Wanda: Dr. Studwell, we've got the flower. Why can't we just crush it up, make the medicine for my baby, and poof back home?
- Studwell: Wanda, our quest is not complete. Now duck through those bushes. [they end up in front of a pharmacy] You'll have to stay outside; only men can survive in there. [flies toward the pharmacy with the flower]
- Wanda: It's a pharmacy! [cut to inside] How do we get the medicine to Poof by bringing the flower in here?
- Studwell: Quiet.
- Wanda: Why, did you hear something?
- Studwell: No, I just want you to be quiet. [poofs into a tuxedo; to the woman at the refill table] Hello, Dolores. You look lovely today. Here's that flower I promised you.
- Dolores: Thanks, Dr. Studwell. And here's the medicine you ordered.
- Wanda: Are you kidding me?! The medicine was here all along?!
- Studwell: Yes, but when I give her flowers, she gives me a 20 percent discount. [Wanda grabs an umbrella and hits him on the head with it] Ow! [pointing to the umbrella] I'm not paying for that. [cut to the Chicken Dippin' Dippadome. Chickens are in suspended cages]
- Dimmadome: Welcome to the Dippadome, [pulling a lever] where we're going to have y'all for dinner. [the cages start moving toward a fryer. Chickens scream and lay eggs. Poof, Timmy, and Cosmo enter the room]
- Timmy: Ah! Everyone that I know and love—and Mr. Crocker—are headed for the fryer! We got to shut down that conveyor belt. Cosmo, throw the switch! [Cosmo tears out the lever and the cages start moving faster]
- Cosmo: I did it, Timmy! I did it! [Wanda and Studwell appear]
- Timmy: Guys, what took you so long?
- Wanda: Look, there's Poof! [Poof goes through a door, and Timmy and company follow]
- Timmy: He's right under the super sticky peanut butter sauce! [Poof is stuck in sauce on the floor]
- Wanda: [picks up Poof] Oh, gotcha, sweetie! Just close your eyes. It won't hurt a bit.
- Studwell: Of course it won't hurt! [pours medicine into a cup] All you have to do is drink the medicine from this little cup.
- Wanda: What? Why didn't you tell us he could drink it out of a little cup?
- Studwell: Oh, please. Did you really think I'd give a shot that size to a baby? This is a playfully themed carrying case. I got it on the Internet along with this chainsaw-shaped wallet. [Wanda crowns him with an umbrella] Just a sip will do the trick. [Wanda gives Poof the medicine and he and Cosmo turn back to normal]
- Cosmo: I'm cured! Ha! You chicken hawks don't scare me now! [screams as chicken hawks attack him and carry him away. People turn back to normal and scream]
- Timmy: I wish the conveyor belt would stop right now! [Wanda grants the wish, and people cheer. Dimmadome enters the fryer room]
- Dimmadome: [screams] You people stole my chickens! I'm ruined!
- Timmy: No, you're not, Mr. Dimmadome. Look at all these eggs. You can serve them with dipping sauce!
- Dimmadome: What an egg-cellent idea! [cut to the Turners' house; on Timmy's TV] This is Doug Dimmadome inviting' you to tonight's grand opening of Doug Dimmadome's Egg Dippin' Dippadome, where the food is egg-straordinary! [winks]
- Timmy: We did it, guys. Doug's back in business, and best of all, nobody's a chicken anymore.
- Cosmo: [offscreen] Guten Tag! [Timmy, Wanda, Poof, and Studwell see he is a weasel wearing lederhosen] Who vants a Wiener schnitzel?
- Wanda: Ah! What's wrong with Cosmo?
- Studwell: Looks like a case of the German weasels. [Cosmo sneezes on Timmy, Wanda, and Poof, turning them into weasels] Wanda, we must obtain a rare schnitzel from Heidelberg. Don't worry, I know Greta in the pharmacy. I get five euros off if I give her a Schnauzer. [Wanda poofs him to the eel, which breathes fire on him] I thought I was hot before, but this is ridiculous. [falls. Iris out. The end title card is shown. Fade to black]
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OY!C ★ 1 ★ 2 ★ 3 ★ 4 ★ 5 ★ 6 ★ 7 ★ 8 ★ 9 ★ 10 | ||
#01 Anti-Poof | #02 Add-a-Dad | #03 Squirrely Puffs |
#04 Mice Capades | #05 Formula For Disaster | #06 Bad Heir Day |
#07 Freaks & Greeks | #08 Fly Boy | #09 Temporary Fairy |
#10 Crocker Shocker | #11 Super Zero | #12 Dadbra-Cadabra |
#13 Timmy Turnip | #14 One Man Banned | #15 Frenemy Mine |
#16 Chicken Poofs | #17 Stupid Cupid | #18 Double-Oh Schnozmo! |
#19 Planet Poof | #20 The Boss Of Me | #21 He Poofs He Scores |
#22 Playdate of Doom | #23 Teacher's Pet | #24 Manic Mom-Day |
#25 Crocker of Gold | #26 Beach Blanket Bozos | #27 Poltergeeks |
#28 Old Man and the C- | #29 Balance of Flour | #30 Food Fight |
#31 Please Don't Feed The Turners | #32 Take and Fake | #33 Cosmo Rules |
#34 Lights Out | #35 Dad Overboard | #36 Farm Pit |
#37 Crock Talk | #38 Spellementary School | #39 Operation Dinkleberg |