Timmy: Mom! Dad! (enters the house) I'm home from school!
Mrs. Turner: (making a dress for Mr. Turner) But you're so early!
Timmy: It was a half day today.
Mr. Turner: Today's Half Day? Ooh! Yes! A new holiday! We should celebrate!
Timmy: It's not a holiday. It's just half—
Mrs. Turner: Oh, I know! I'll put half and half in my half cup of coffee!
Mr. Turner: And I have half a mind to invent something for Half Day! (zips off)
Mrs. Turner: I already have. I used half cheese and half chips to invent nachos!
Timmy: Hello? (as she gives him the nachos) Nachos have already been invented!
Mr. Turner: But I've invented the recloilet! It's half recliner, half toilet! (sitting on the invention, he uses a lever to make curtains surround him, then flushes) It works! It's a Half Day miracle!
Timmy: Yeah. I'm going to go upstairs now. (cut to him entering his room) You guys aren't going to believe this! Mom and Dad think it's— (sees what is in front of him)
Cosmo: So, how do we celebrate? How? How? How? (blows a party horn)
Timmy: Well, according to Mom and Dad, you sort of invent half-stuff things.
Cosmo: Done. I call it the Wando machine! Just throw in one naggy spouse... (throws Wanda into the machine) then yourself... (throws himself in) and... (He and Wanda scream as the machine works. They fly out looking sort of like each other) Voilà! I'm half idiot and half nag! You should clean this room! My elbows are chapped! Do I look fat?
Wanda: And I'm half superior female and half-witted! Ooh, a frying pan! (hits herself with it and falls to the floor)
Timmy: Hey, maybe I should invent something that could make me half boy and half cool stuff too! (eats a nacho)
Wanda: (as Cosmo turns himself and her back to normal) Or, you could play with all the other stuff you wished up but haven't touched. Like this rocket kit; drum set; pogo stick; skateboard; lasagna, which has gone way bad; this mobile for Poof; and Hank, the super home security guard rhino.
Hank: My horn of protection is always here for you, Timmy!
Timmy: Yeah, thanks, Hank. Here. (throws hay to him)
Hank: Do you have any cheese? (the closet door closes on him) I'm still here for you, Timmy!
Timmy: And I do so play with this stuff. (he turns on the mobile and it plays a lullaby that puts Cosmo and Poof to sleep) See? Now, I wish I had my own Half Day transformation station! (Wanda sighs and grants the wish) Cool! (jumping into the station with a skateboard) Ha ha! (the station makes him half skateboard) Awesome! I'm Skate Boy! I wish I had a half-pipe! (skating out the window) Yahoo! (a half-pipe appears outside, and he skates off it) Half Day rocks! (Cosmo and Wanda follow him as birds as he skates past an "Unsuspecting Van". In the van, Mr. Crocker watches him through binoculars)
Mr. Crocker: Hmm. Half boy, half skateboard. Clearly the work of... (spasming)fairy godparents! And with Turner out enjoying his magic, it's the perfect time to capture his... fairies! And my Crocker Hook will allow me to go in quietly and undetected. (Cut to him using the hook to crash into Timmy's room. He screams, crashes into various things, smashes into a wall, and falls to the floor)
Perfect! Now to search for the fairies with my... magic detector! (the detector points toward the bowl of nachos that ended up on his head) Oops. Had it set for cheese. (changes the setting to "fairies") But yum! Solidified animal mucus! (grabbing the cheese) Don't care for the chips though. (tossing the chips away) Watching' the carbs. (Eats some of the cheese. The detector points toward the transformation station) Yes! This must be Turner's fairy-keeping device-like chamber! I got you now, fairies! (zips into the station) Ha ha! (he screams as the station works, then blinks) Poo! No fairies. Double poo! I lost my cheese!
Hank: (breaks out of the closet) Intruder, fear the mighty horn of protection! Arr! (charges)
Crocker: Triple poo! An angry talking rhino! Hey, have you seen my cheese? (Hank rams him, sending him flying out of the house screaming. He crashes into trash cans in an alley) That horn of protection cuts deep. (mice sniff him, and he screams) Mice! Shoo! Get away! (he shoots cheese from his wrists, and the mice start eating it) Huh! What's this? Cheese from my wrists? (blinks and smiles maliciously) To the Crocker Cave! (makes a rope of cheese) Ha ha! (swings into a wall) Maybe I'll take the bus. (Fade to the Crocker Cave. A screen shows an analysis of Crocker's DNA)
It can't be! According to my DNA scan, I've become half man, half cheese! Cheese web! (makes a cobweb of cheese and bounces off it) And I can mold myself into different cheesy forms! Shape of... a buff cheese puff! (he takes that form, throws a big machine, and turns back to normal) Hmm, dilemma time. Do I use these new powers to fight for good or for my own nefarious purposes? (takes out a coin) Heads for good, tails for my own nefarious purposes. (flips the coin and sees it is on heads, flipping it again) Two out of three. Tails! (flips the coin again) Tails! My own nefarious purposes! Now to capture Turner's fairies... with cheese! (he laughs evilly as he turns into a muscular supervillain of cheese) Eureka! (eats part of his helmet) My helmet tastes fantastic! (Cut to the Turners' house. The transformation station makes Timmy half drum)
Timmy: This transformation station rocks! (drumming himself) Pa-ra-ba-bum-pum!
Wanda: Okay, drum boy, (magically moving him back into the station) back to normal before your parents' barge in and catch us all. (she presses the station's "reverse" button and Timmy is turned back to normal)
Timmy: Relax. The door is locked. And besides, Hank is here.
Hank: (offscreen) The horn is ready!
Timmy: See? Nobody's going to barge in. (Crocker slides under the door as a slice of cheese and turns back into his supervillain form)
Crocker: Except me, Turner! And I'm here to finally capture your... fairies!
Timmy: Ha! With a dorky cheese hat?
Crocker: That and my cheesecloth butterfly net! (Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof scream as he captures them with the net)
Cosmo: Ah!
Cosmo and Wanda: Timmy, help!
Crocker: Yes, help, Turner! Help yourself to some cheese! (Timmy screams as the cheese Crocker shoots at him hits him and forms a cage around him)
Hank: I'll save you, Timmy! (Leaps forward. Crocker shoots pieces of cheese that pin him to a wall) Is this cheddar? I love cheddar! (eats a piece of cheese)
Crocker: Ha! Let me just say I will mozzarelish this moment forever!
Timmy: And let me just say that was a horrible cheese pun, and I'll never wish for a cheese-loving guard rhino again!
Crocker: But I'll be the one doing the wishing from now on, Turner—with my magic blaster! (puts the fairies in the blaster)
Wanda: Magic blaster? Ha! How silly. (Crocker presses the blaster's "wish" button. The fairies scream they start to spin rapidly)
Crocker: Now let's test this magic puppy out! I wish I had thicker, healthier hair! (the blaster zaps his head and grants the wish) I'm gorgeous! Now, what's next on my wish list? (reading the list) Number 2: Win the love of my high school crush. I wish I was in a limo at Mary Lou Bixby's house! (uses the blaster to zap himself away)
Timmy: Oh, no! I've got to save Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof! But I'm stuck in cheese jail! Wait. Cheese jail? (eats the cheese bars in front of him) Now, how do I stop Crocker without magic?
Hank: (gorged with cheese) You still have the magic cheese station!
Timmy: Yes! The horn of protection is brilliant!
Hank: The horn loves cheese!
Timmy: Cheesy Crocker let's see how you deal with... (uses the station to merge with the rocket kit) Rocket Boy! (Flies out the window. Cut to Mary Lou at her front door)
Mary Lou: Denzel? Is that you? With hair? And a huge diamond? And a limousine?
Crocker: (in human form) It is, Mary Lou! I'm gorgeous! And won't you, after all these years, finally go out with me?
Mary Lou: Yes! Yes, I will!
Crocker: Well, forget it! You're ugly and creepy and stop calling me! (Mary Lou runs away crying; looking at the list) Number 3: Crush Mary Lou's heart with the exact words she used to crush mine at the sock hop! Yes! (Timmy takes the blaster away) No!
Timmy: Stand down, Crocker! You're no match for Rocket Boy!
Cosmo: Timmy, you saved us!
Crocker: String cheese arm, go! (takes the blaster with the arm)
Wanda: But now you lost us again.
Crocker: And now to number 4: Destroy Timmy Turner! (uses the blaster to turn into a giant cheese monster) What's the matter, Turner? You look like you've seen a... Muenster! Ha! Get it? Muenster? It's a type of cheese. Sounds like monster. Heh. Help me out here.
Timmy: Yeah, I get it. It's just that I prefer my cheese... melted! (Flies toward him. Crocker fires the blaster at him, and he dodges each blast. Crocker turns into Swiss cheese so that Timmy flies through him and into a streetlight. Timmy falls to the ground)
Crocker: (running toward Timmy) Looks like your plan has some holes in it! Ha ha! (Timmy shouts and starts flying away) Give up, Turner! I have your fairies, I have the power, and I go great with crackers.
Timmy: You're right, Crocker. you do have my fairies. But not all of 'em.
Cosmo: What? You don't have any more— (Wanda covers his mouth)
Timmy: I have more fairies at home. How else did I get my rocket powers?
Crocker: More fairies? That means more power! Last one to Turner is a rotten villain! Ha ha! (swings on a cheese rope into a building's façade) Eh, I'll take the bus. (cut to Timmy's room)
Timmy: Okay, Turner, think. How do you destroy cheese besides eating it? Cause I'm not eating that dude. Wait. Moldy lasagna. Rotten villain. That's it! (he takes the lasagna, the pogo stick, the drum kit, and the mobile and puts them in the station; pushing Hank toward the station) Come on, Hank! Get in the tank! I need your horn of justice... or whatever! (throws Hank in) Let's hope this thing works in eighths as well as halves! (he jumps into the station, and it starts working)
Crocker: (tears the ceiling off) Okay, other fairies, I know you're in there. Come out and meet your new cheese-powered master! (Timmy, now merged with everything else in the station, flies out)
Timmy: Meet the horn of protection! (Crocker screams as Timmy rams him, then falls on the ground)
Wanda: (dazedly) That horn of protection cuts deep.
Crocker: Well, that was pretty gouda, Turner, but I'll brie destroying you now. (Fires the blaster at him. Timmy's lower half turns into a pogo stick)
Timmy: Pogo Boy, go! (dodges the blasts) Drummer Boy cymbal smash, go! (Cuts through Crocker's limbs with cymbals. Crocker screams and falls over. He sees what has happened to him and shouts)
Cosmo: Timmy just cut the cheese, and for the first time, it doesn't smell!
Crocker: (grabs the blaster) You got spunk, Turner. I like that! (uses the blaster to rebuild himself) But say hello to my buddies Colby and Jack, also types of cheese that I've named my fists after and— Oh, forget it! Destroy the boy! (grabbing Timmy) I win! I've got a hold of you!
Timmy: No, you lose, because I've got a mold on you! Moldy Lasagna Boy, go! (starts spreading mold to Crocker)
Crocker: (screams) I'm molding! Molding! Getting weaker. Really weak. Wow. I didn't know I could ever feel this weak. Weird. No motivation. No!
Timmy: (picks up the blaster) Are you guys, okay?
Wanda: We're fine, sport. Just a little dizzy, but we're fine. (Poof vomits. Fade to Timmy shoveling Crocker into the station. Crocker screams as the station works) But Timmy, when Crocker comes out, he'll be normal and know what's happened and see us!
Timmy: Not exactly.
Crocker: (jumping out of the station) Turner, I know you have... (Timmy turns into the mobile and plays a lullaby. Crocker falls asleep. Fade to him in his bed) Fairies! Turner! Cheese! Oh! It must have all been a cheesy dream! But now to get up and make my dream come true! Except for the part where Turner defeats me. (opens the door, revealing Hank)
Hank: The horn of protection never sleeps!
Crocker: Talking rhino! (repeatedly screams and runs into a bookcase)
Hank: You should have just taken the bus. (eats cheese) Mmm! That's gouda! (iris out on his face. The end title card is shown. Fade to black)
