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PortalEpisodes What could possibly go wrong?

Warning! This page contains spoilers for Certifiable Super Sitter.



  • Cosmo: (Talking about Poof) Baby prune. The apple of my eye, the light of my life, the wind beneath my wigs... I had to keep a fan under my wigs while he's gone.

  • Cosmo: (When Timmy comes in) Poof! You're home! And you grew a body!
  • Timmy: 'Cause I'm Timmy!
  • Cosmo: (When Chloe comes in) Poof! You're home! And you're a girl!
  • Chloe: 'Cause I'm Chloe!
  • Wanda: COSMO, (showing a picture of Poof) THIS IS POOF!
  • Cosmo: Poof! You're home! And you've been framed! Wanda, we gotta get a baby lawyer.

  • Punchy: Shrimp on the barbie!


  • Timmy: Good job, Punchy, and Poof, just a suggestion. Maybe next time don't bring home a harbinger of doom.
  • Foop: Well, I would have gone home, but Mommy and Daddy moved without leaving a forwarding address... again.

  • Sammy Sweetsparkle: Don't worry Foop, I'll use my my sparkle stick to turn that frown upside down!
  • Foop: [he begins to smile very widely] The smile! It burns!

  • Mrs. Turner: Chloe, I heard you are babysitting. Would you mind watching Timmy's Dad? I can't take him grocery shopping anymore. He wiggles in the cart and grabs candies off the shelves.
  • Mr. Turner: Candy is good! Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme!

  • Timmy: Dad what's with the helmet?
  • Mr. Turner: I don't really need it, it's just a fashion choice [Mr. Turner crashes into a tree].

  • Chloe: No matter how angry you are I'm never gonna give up on you because I believe deep inside you are good.
  • Foop: Hahaha! Now that is a joke! Much better than that yelling German thing.

  • Mr. Crocker: Gah! I'm not-- AHH! A punching bag-- OOH! I'm the real Mr-- UUH! Crocker!

  • [Vicky (who is off-screen) rings the doorbell]
  • Mr. Turner: Ooooh, the ding-dong sound means someone's on the phone.
  • Timmy: You need a better helmet.

  • Foop: What's this? Thunder and lightning on a sunny day? Songbirds falling from the sky, followed by a bloodcurdling scream?
  • Sammy: There was no scream.
  • Foop: Wait for it...
  • [We hear a bloodcurdling scream from Vicky (who is off-screen)]
  • Timmy: This could only mean one thing. It's the most evil babysitter who ever walked the face of the Earth...
  • [A shadow of Vicky's face appears on the door the door comes down with Vicky holding a chainsaw]
  • Timmy and Foop: ...VICKY!
  • [Timmy, Poof, Mr. Turner, Chloe, Sammy and Foop scream. Vicky manically laughs.]
  • Foop: Does anyone has a spare diaper? It's for Skull-Bearie.

  • Timmy: Whoa! Since when does our house have a dungeon?
  • [A monitor appears in the room. Vicky as "Tricky Vicky" is on the screen.]
  • Vicky: Since now! I did a little psychological profiling on you two, and I know what will make you coo-coo crazy! Twerpette! It's time to pay for getting all up in my babysittin' business! And twerp! You're gonna pay, just because I HATE YOU!
  • [The floor turns into a treadmill.]
  • Timmy: Oh no! The entire floor's a treadmill! (cries) She's making me exercise!
  • Vicky: If you want the treadmill to stop, twerp... just eat the brussel sprouts off the mechanical fork!
  • Timmy: Oh no, vegetables and exercise! SHE'S PURE EVIL!
  • Vicky: Now, Certified Stupid Sitter. Let's see how you deal with this!
  • [A chute in the room begins shooting out garbage.]
  • Chloe: No! She's... she's littering! She's a monster!
  • Vicky: The faster you pick up the trash, the faster it'll fall!
  • Timmy (with a sprout in his mouth): We're gonna drown in litter! Just stop picking it up!
  • Chloe: (cries) You know I can't!
  • Vicky: And for the cherry on top of your misery sundae, watch this!
  • [The screen starts playing "Crocker's Dream Journal".]
  • Crocker: And now, volume one through twenty-nine of Mr. Crocker's Dream Journal! Yay! Ahem. (begins reading from the journal) "I was dancing in a field with a beautiful young woman, when Mother pulled up in her rusty mid-sized sedan with an angry scowl and a case of foot cream!" Gah! Well, I guess this is really more of a nightmare.
  • Timmy and Chloe: NOOOOOOOOOOO...!

  • Mr. Turner: (gasps) She's mean! I'm gonna tell Mommy... I mean my wife. Aah! She's got me on a sharp lease!

  • Foop: What kind of madman would go for a date with that teenage gorgon?
  • Vicky: (pulls out a sword) What was that?
  • Foop: You are pretty! Don't hurt me!
  • Vicky: Everyone else! Tell me I'm pretty!
  • Sammy: I would, but my mommy told me never to lie.

  • Chloe: I don't even know who I am anymore?!

  • [Foop begins to play on his "Baby's First Harpsichord".]
  • Foop: I thought this moment deserved an ominous music sting, so I broke out my Baby's First Harpsichord.

  • Sammy Sweetsparkle: This may not sound very sweet, but... BREAK VICKY LIKE A TWO-BY-FOUR!

  • Vicky: Sayonara, stupid sitter!
  • Foop: HALT! I will not allow you to harm Chloe! Her unwarranted kindness made my face leak. If you want her, you'll have to go through me!
  • Vicky: Huh, okay!
  • Foop: Badly played, but before I perish, grant me one last request. Say "Here, Punchy!"
  • Vicky: Why would I say "Here, Punchy?"
  • Punchy: Shrimp on the barbie! [Punchy punches Vicky.]
  • Vicky: AAH! A punching kangaroo... (laughs) I did not see that coming!
  • [Poof takes the key off of Vicky's neck, and gets back his rattle.]
  • Poof: Ooh!
  • [Vicky tries to hurt Poof with her chainsaw.]
  • Poof (in Arnold Schwarzenegger voice): Hasta la vista, baby!
  • [Poof shoots out a ray of magic at Vicky, shooting her out of the building. Vicky screams.]
  • Poof (in Arnold Schwarzenegger voice): She won't be back.
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