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This article is a transcript of the Fairly OddParents episode "Catman Meets The Crimson Chin" from Season 4, which aired on February 17, 2005.
Script[]
- Adam West: Hey future crime-stopper, tell me your name and I'll sign this photo of me as TV's Catman!
- Boy: I don't want your autograph!
- Adam West: (writes) I... don't... want...
- Woman: Help!
- Adam West: A cry - for help! This looks like a job for...
- Adam West: (as Catman) ...Catman! (hands kid photo) Here ya go!
- Mom: ...Ahhhh! These prices are a crime!
- Catman: Did somebody say crime?
- Cop #1: I hope you know a good lawyer.
- Timmy: Your honor, I wish my client Catman was NOT GUILTY!
- Catman: Timmy, I don't know how you do it. (sighs) I guess the world doesn't need crime fighters with colorful costumes anymore...
- Catman: (coughs)
(PEOPLE <SCREAM>)
- Man: Crimson Chin! We need you and your colorful costume!
- Theme Song: (voiceover) Here comes the Crimson Chin!
- Crimson Chin: Your heavy metal household weaponry will never wipe away justice from this city, Iron Maiden!
- People: Yay! Crimson Chin!
- Timmy: Wow! They sure love their colorful crime fighters in the Crimson Chin's webtoon.
- Wanda: But not in Dimmsdale. Adam sure seemed upset outside the courthouse!
- Cosmo: Yeah! And he's still upset!
- Catman: Timmy, what will I do all day if I can't fight crime? I can't lick the spoons clean at the Dairy Whip. (bitter) That would be unsanitary!
- People: Yay!
- Timmy: Hey! I know a place that would love a fantastic feline crime fighter like yourself!
- Catman: Cat-tastic! How do we get there?
- Timmy: Can I borrow your Cat-nap spray?
SFX: <SPRAY>
- Timmy: I wish we were in the Crimson Chin's webtoon!
- Catman: Where am I? Hey, I know you! You're Cleft, the Boy Chin Wonder!Have you seen my youthful pal, Timmy?
- Timmy: Catman, it's me Timmy.
- Catman: Timmy! Ah, thank heavens, I...
- Catman: Cleft! Thank heavens! Timmy's missing and I don't know where to...
- Catman: Dogs!!! Cats are scared of dogs!
- Timmy: Relax! That's Clefto and Ace. Cat- friendly and faithful canine sidekicks of the one and only Crimson Chin!
- Crimson Chin: (aside to Timmy) So you want me to take a vacay-chin and let Catman fight crime here in my webtoon?
- Crimson Chin: Well, I could use a break from my never-ending battle for justice!
- H2Olga: Ha-ha! It is I! H2-0lga! Get set to get dunked, Crimson Chin!
- Catman: Your days of crime are dried up...
- H2Olga: Super absorbent cat litter with deodorizing crystals! No! NOOO!!!
- People: Yay! Catman!
- Crimson Chin: Catman, I leave Chincinatti your very capable hands.
- Catman: Paws. I have paws. Because I'm part cat.
- Crimson Chin: Whatever. Aloha!!!
MFX: <CRIMSON CHIN SONG: "There goes the Crimson Chin!">
- Catman: Okay, everybody. There's a new superhero in town and his name is - Catman! I just wish Timmy were here to see this...
- Catman: Timmy!
- Iron Maiden: Ha ha ha! The admiral's secret recipe!
SFX: <CRASH!>
- Crowd: Crimson Chin!
- Catman: Purrr-fect!
- Bronze Kneecap: (evil laugh)
- Police: (cheer)
- Catman: Now, now. Remember I drink my milk just like you. On my knees, lapping it from a bowl next to the refrigerator.
- Timmy: So you're ready to go home now?
- Catman: Are you insane? No wait, that's me. I'm never leaving!
- Catman: And if you're going to be my sidekick - whoever you are - you're gonna need a new secret identity...
- Timmy: Wee-Wee-Kitty Boy?!?
- Catman: I knew you'd love it! And look, you come with your own Fluffy Cycle!
- Catman: And check out the fearsome wee wee kitty horn.
SFX: <MECHANICAL MEOW SOUND>
- Timmy: That's it! I'm stopping this right now. Ace! Clefto! I wish... (beat) Hey, where are Ace and Clefto?
- Catman: Ah, the mangy mongrels. I locked them away in my super liquid laser dog crate, accessible only through a super secret cat-password.
- Timmy: The Chin isn't going to like this.
- Theme Song: (voiceover) Here comes the Crimson Chin!
- Crimson Chin: What in the name of all things mandibular is going on here?
- Timmy: Chin! I can explain!
- Crimson Chin: No need, Boo Boo Cuddly Boy. It looks like somebody's gotten too big for his whiskers!
- Catman: Uh, your standard hero vs. hero combat rules?
- Crimson Chin: Loser leaves town forever?
- Catman: You got it. Let's take this outside.
- Crimson Chin: We are outside.
- Catman: You win round one, Chin. But let's see how you handle round two!
SFX: <CRASH>
- Crimson Chin: Nice snappy hero banter. Me, I like to Chin-provise.
- Timmy: Oh man, I can't look. But I have to cuz it's kinda cool!
- Catman: One problem with ad-libbing. What do you do when the cat's got your tongue? GET IT?
- Referee: Three, Two, One - you're out. Catman wins!
- Crimson Chin: Easy citizens. I'm just like you. I too go to the bathroom in a box, in the corner of the laundry room.
- Timmy: Chin! No! Don't go!
- Crimson Chin: I'm okay, Kitty Kitty Bang Bang. I lost, fair and square. If this town wants a cat-based hero instead of a chin-based one, I won't argue. Hey, do you have 50 cents in that girly girly outfit?
- Timmy: Oh my gosh! He's so upset, he forgot he could fly off in a huff! Oh man, I've got to get Cosmo and Wanda free and fix this wish...but first I gotta climb this really big windy hill...almost there...yep, still climbing... here I go.
- Timmy: A super secret password huh? What password would somebody as deep and complicated as Catman choose as his password? (beat) C.A.T.
- Wanda: (as Ace) Let me guess, we need to create a super villain that will get the Chin and Catman on the same crime-fighting team!
- Timmy: Something Catman can't stop alone. Something he hates and that he'll need the Chin's help to defeat.
- Cosmo: (as Clefto) Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
- Timmy and Wanda: You're thinking?
- Cosmo: Yeah! I was thinking big mechanical dog.
- Timmy and Wanda: (awkward) Big... Mechanical... Dog?
- People: (scream)
- Catman: Evil robot villain, you're not welcome here...
- Catman: Ahhh! Nice doggy! Nice big robot doggy that I'm ascared of!
- Timmy: Now, let's see what Dogzilla has in his utility belt.
- Timmy: And the only thing cats hate more than fleas is a bath!
- Catman: Must... lick... self... dry... might take awhile...
- Cosmo: Wow, look at all the places he can reach with his cat tongue.
- Wanda: So when does the Chin come in?
- Timmy: Right about now.
(Dogzilla lets out a mechanical howl as crowd screams.)
- Crimson Chin: I don't understand it! What else can I do to make this beast heel?
- Catman: Perhaps teamwork. But I can't do it - I'm scared of dogs!
- Crimson Chin: Right, because dogs chase cats. Quick Catman. Run. Run to the park like the little kitten you are.
- Catman: Catman doesn't like this plan.
- Crimson Chin: But Dogzilla will love - this!
- Crimson Chin: Here boy - fetch!
- People: (cheer)
- Catman: I don't understand it! They shunned you and you came back anyway.
- Crimson Chin: That's because great heroes don't fight for fame or adulation. (sighs autograph) Here ya go. (back to Catman) You fight for justice.
- Catman: And that's why I need to go back to the place that shunned me and save it from crime whether they want me to or not.
- Timmy: And they don't.
- Catman: For whenever someone in Dimmsdale calls for help but doesn't want me to help them, I will answer that call anyway. (beat) And then I'll call Timmy.
- Timmy: Your honor, I wish my client Catman was NOT GUILTY!
- Catman: Timmy, I don't know how you do it. I wish Cleft were here to see this.
- Catman: Cleft!