Cake, Dance, & Solid Gold Pants/Transcript

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The Fairly OddParents: Fairly Odder episode transcript
"Cake, Dance, & Solid Gold Pants"
Episode	1
Airdate	March 31, 2022
Transcript List

This article is a transcript of the Fairly OddParents: Fairly Odder episode "Cake, Dance, & Solid Gold Pants", which aired on March 31, 2022.

Script

(The episode opens to Timmy Turner in his bedroom)

Narrator: In the beginning. There was a boy, and the boy, was average. But Timmy was still happy, because he had Fairly OddParents!

(Clips from The Fairly OddParents!, Timmy TV, Pipe Down!, Wishology and other episodes are shown while an instrumental version of the Fairly OddParents: Fairly Odder theme plays)

Narrator: (As the clips are playing) Wanda and Cosmo granted Timmy Turner his every wish. Even when it was a terrible idea. But he had a few good ones too. Together they got him through junior high and even through high school.

(The clips end; Cut to a cartoon adult Timmy Turner)

Narrator: Today Timmy is like super buff, and handsome!

Cosmo: That doesn’t look like you at all!

Timmy: What?

(Cut to adult Timmy and his fairies in reality)

Timmy: That is exactly how I look.

Wanda: Not in a million years, sport.

Timmy: Well, anyway, thanks for narrating my look-back montage, majestic voice-over fairy.

Majestic Voice-Over Fairy: No problem, Timmy.

Timmy: And thanks for drawing me all BUUUFFF!!! Cool animator fairy.

Cool Animator Fairy: De nada amigo!

(The cool animator fairy magically draws a thumbs up and he and the Majestic Voice-Over Fairy poof away)

Timmy: (To Cosmo and Wanda) You two were the best fairy godparents a kid could ever ask for.

Cosmo: Ah…

Wanda: What do you mean we “were”, sport?

(Timmy gets up)

Timmy: I mean…I am heading off to (Timmy hits his luggage) college now.

• Wanda: Not just any college, Princeton.

(Cosmo poofs up a megaphone and uniform)

Cosmo: P-R-I-C-inceton! I don’t know how to spell Princeton! Woohoo!

Wanda: Well, you can learn when you get there.

Timmy: Yeah…about that…you two aren’t coming to college with me.

Wanda: We’re not?!

Cosmo: You can’t leave us behind. (Poofs back to normal)

Timmy: Okay. You guys know my cousin Vivian, right?

Wanda: Oh yeah, she’s a mess!

Timmy: My uncle Ty just moved back to Dimmsdale and he’s bringing my cousin Viv with him.

Cosmo: Oh, that’s not gonna go well at all.

Timmy: Exactly. Which is why I really need you to both stay in Dimmsdale and be her fairy godparents.

Wanda: But you can’t just give us away to someone else! It’s against the rules! (Poofs up a copy of Da Rules)

Timmy: Actually, (Makes Da Rules book poof away) Jorgen Von Strangle said it would be okay as long as no one else sees you.

Wanda: Jorgen Von Strangle would never agree to that!

Timmy: He sent me a fairy permission scroll, (Picks up a scroll) but I’m pretty sure he was playing “Zombie Unicorn Attack” when I asked him.

(Timmy opens the scroll to show Jorgen playing a video game in the scroll)

Jorgen: I’m busy playing “Zombie Unicorn Attack”, but yeah, you can give them away, as long as no one else sees them.

Timmy: (Closes the scroll) You two did a great job with me, and Viv’s gonna need you just as much as I did. Trust me.

Wanda: Then let’s go meet your shy mess of a cousin.

Cosmo: How’s my hair? Green and handsome? Nice.

(Timmy’s watch makes a sound)

Timmy: Ah! We gotta go. I just got a text from Roy. (Tries to throw a backpack over Cosmo and Wanda but they poof to the other side of Timmy’s room)

Wanda: Wait, who’s Roy?

Timmy: Viv’s new stepbrother. He’s throwing her a surprise welcome party.

Wanda: Well, that’s nice of him.

Timmy: Vivian hates surprise parties, now get in the backpack! (Opens the backpack)

Cosmo: Who hates surprise parties? Your cousin really sounds like a mess.

Timmy: She’s not a mess. She just doesn’t like a lot of attention.

Wanda: Because she’s a mess?

Timmy: She is not a mess!

(Cut to Viv who is shown in the bushes with some leaves in her hair)

Viv: Oh god! I’m a mess!

Ty: Course you are. I asked, "Are you ready to go in?” You screamed, "No" and then you jumped in bushes.

Viv: (Getting out from the bushes) Geez. You don’t think they have one of those doorbell cameras, do you?

Ty: Well, if they do, that video will be hilarious.

Viv: Honestly Dad, you know I have trouble meeting new people.

Ty: It’s just my new wife Rachel, and her son Roy, who you’ve never met before.

Viv: New people.

Ty: Okay do you expect me to apologize for reconnecting with my high school sweetheart last week, marrying her on a whim, quitting my job, selling our house in Oldsberg and moving to Dimmsdale to live with them? Because now that I say it out loud, I realize that was nuts, so I will. I’m sorry.

Viv: You did say we’re moving to a farm, a nice quiet farm where I’d be surrounded by animals and books.

Ty: Only because if I told you the truth, I knew you’d show up, scream “no” and jump in the bushes!

Viv: Hey, hey, hey, wait, wait, why don’t you just go in and say that you lost me on the way?

Ty: Viv.

Viv: I rolled out of the car when you weren’t looking. Who knows where I am? Maybe I’m still rolling.

Ty: Vivian Turner, (Puts his hands on Viv’s shoulders) please come in with me. We’ll just have a nice low key “get to know ya” lunch.

Viv: Just you, me, Rachel and Roy?

Ty: That’s it.

Viv: And you’re not going to dance?

Ty: Why would I dance at a lunch?

Viv: I don’t know, maybe because ballroom dancing is your passion because you moved to Dimmsdale to open a ballroom dance studio with your new wife and because you love making me ballroom dance with you?

Ty: Yes, I’m an amazing father. Thank you for noticing.

Viv: Just promise me you won’t dance.

Ty: Four people. No dancing, I promise.

(But just as they open the door…)

Everyone: Surprise!

(A party with a sign that reads “WELCOME VIVIAN!!1! is shown and Vivian has a shocked look on her face.)

Rachel: Dance with me, my love. Right here, right now,

(Ty and Rachel are then shown dancing to the music, Roy then comes running towards Viv)

Roy: Viv!

Viv: Roy!

Roy: It’s a surprise party just for you. Do you love it?

(Viv looks around at the party)

Viv: Absolutely!

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