FANDOM


The Fairly OddParents episode transcript
"Boys in the Band"
Season №: 2
Episode №: 1
Airdate: March 1, 2002
Transcript List

This article is a transcript of the The Fairly OddParents episode, "Boys in the Band" from season 2, which aired on March 1, 2002.


Script

  • [The episode begins with Timmy in his bed. He is snoring. An alarm on his clock turns on.]
  • Chet Ubetcha (on the radio): Gooood morning, Dimmsdale! Do you know why it's good?
  • Timmy: [opens his eyes.] Because today's my birthday!
  • [Timmy's room is decorated for his birthday. Balloons are hung everywhere around his room.]
  • Timmy: Right?
  • Chet Ubetcha (on the radio): Nope! Because tonight's the night of the big Chip Skylark concert, and here's his new hit song... My Shiny Teeth and Me!
  • [My Shiny Teeth and Me begins playing on the radio.]
  • Wanda (off-screen): [laughs]
  • [Wanda and Cosmo are dancing to the song.]
  • Timmy: Chip Skylark? That lame pretty boy dork singer? He stinks!
  • Cosmo: Does not! I wish Chip Skylark was around when I had a band. We'd have rocked out loud! Did you know I used to play the electric triangle? [He poofs his electric triangle into Timmy's room.]
  • Wanda: But your band stunk! [laughs]
  • Cosmo: But with Chip we wouldn't have!
  • Timmy: Ahem! Isn't there something special you want to say to me? [He pushes a birthday cake into the room.] Considering what day it is? [He pops out of the top of the cake.]
  • Cosmo: Yeah! Pipe down so I can jam to this awesome Chip song! [He rings his electric triangle, but gets an electric shock.]
  • Timmy: Thank you, karma.
  • [Transition to the kitchen.]
  • Timmy: I can't wait to see what Mom made me for my special birthday dinner.
  • [Timmy puts on a party hat, and places a small sign on the table that reads "Birthday Boy". Mrs. Turner places a bowl of cookies on the table.]
  • Timmy: Cookies for dinner!? With our phone number on them?
  • [We see a close up of one of the cookies. The icing on it reads "555-9597".]
  • Mrs. Turner (off-screen): Sure.
  • Mrs. Turner: Tonight's the night of the Chip Skylark concert.
  • [She is wearing a red beanie similar to Chip's, and a pink shirt that says "I ♥ Chip". Mr. Turner enters the scene. He is wearing the same attire as Mrs. Turner.]
  • Mr. Turner: Your Mom and I are gonna throw these to Chip while he's on stage!
  • Mrs. Turner: And maybe he'll call us and offer to be your big brother!
  • Timmy: You guys are going to the concert? Tonight of all nights? What's so special about Chip Skylark!?
  • Mr. Turner: Open your eyes, son. That teen's delicious!
  • [Mr. and Mrs. Turner walk out of the room.]
  • Mr. Turner (off-screen): Gah! Good gosh, son! We have a special surprise for you!
  • [Timmy dashes to the living room.]
  • Timmy: A surprise? What is it!? What!?
  • [Mr. Turner opens the door. Vicky is standing behind it. She is wearing the same attire as Timmy's parents.]
  • Mr. Turner: It's Vicky!
  • Vicky: Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Turner! (to Timmy) Hello, kid who’s not Chip Skylark.
  • [Mr. Turner pushes a treasure chest into the scene.]
  • Mrs. Turner: She’s being paid quadruple to baby-sit so we can go to the Chip Skylark concert tonight!
  • [Mr. Turner opens the chest. Diamonds, coins, and dollar bills are bulging out of it.]
  • Mr. Turner: And there’s extra money in there so you kids can watch the concert on pay-per-view!
  • [Vicky is inspecting one of the diamonds in the chest.]
  • Mr. Turner: Have a fun, Chip-filled night!
  • [Timmy's parents dance their way out of the house. The door closes. Vicky jumps onto the couch, grabs the remote, and turns the television on. A program called Chip-watch starts playing.]
  • Chet Ubetcha (on T.V): Welcome to Chip-watch Tonight! I’m your host, Chet Ubetcha, and we’re mere hours away from the live broadcast of the big Chip Skylark concert!
  • Vicky (off-screen): Move it, twerp!
  • [Timmy gets moved by the stalk of a cane. Timmy is sitting on the cane. Vicky is holding it.]
  • Vicky: It's pay-per-view, which means if I don't view, then someone's gonna pay!
  • [Vicky throws away the cane, with Timmy on it. It lands in between a bookshelf and a lamp. Timmy is dangling from it. Cosmo and Wanda poof into the scene.]
  • Wanda: Are you okay, not Chip?
  • Timmy: Everybody forgot about my birthday because Chip stinkin' Skylark!
  • Cosmo: Hey! It’s not his fault he turned out so delicious! Mmm!
  • Timmy: Yeah, well, you know what I wish? I wish something bad would happen to him.
  • [[[Da Rules]] poofs into the room. Wanda begins to read it.]
  • Wanda: Okay, but you just can't wish him maimed.
  • Timmy: Okay then, I wish...
  • Cosmo: Or injured.
  • Timmy: Then...
  • Wanda: Or beaten.
  • [Timmy is about to speak.]
  • Wanda: Or dead.
  • Timmy: FINE! I wish that the worst possible, non-lethal thing would happen to Chip Skylark right now!
  • [Cosmo and Wanda wave their wands. A cloud of smoke appears. The words "NON-LEATHAL!" are seen inside of it. A car crash is heard from outside. The doorbell rings.]
  • Vicky: Who in the right mind would think of interrupting me when I'm about to watch teen singing sensation...
  • [Vicky opens the door. Chip Skylark is behind it. Angelic music plays in the background in this scene.]
  • Vicky: ...Chip Skylark!? AAHHH!
  • [Vicky is biting her fingers. Hearts are surrounding her.]
  • Chip: Hi! I was just in a non-lethal accident in my record company's car. All of a sudden, I hit this tree that seemed to pop out of nowhere. Totally weird. The album comes out July 24th, can I use your phone?
  • Vicky: Sure, use my special phone!
  • Chip: Awesome!
  • [Chip presses a button on the phone. Knock out gas comes out of the receiver. He begins to fall unconscious.]
  • Chip (woozily): Tuesday is... applesauce day.
  • [Chip falls asleep.]
  • Vicky: Even unconscious he's delicious. Mmm mmm mmm.
  • Timmy: Ha! The worst possible thing that could happen to Chip is to be stuck here with Vicky, like me!
  • [Vicky walks by, pulling a chained-up Chip alongside her. Transition to Timmy's bedroom. Chip (still chained up) is on Timmy's bed. Vicky is choosing a range of dresses.]
  • Vicky: Do you like this one that makes me look like Mrs. Chip Skylark? Or this one that makes me look like Mrs. Chip Skylark?
  • Chip: I really don't think it matters. I think you'll make a great Mrs. Skylark... Mrs. Skylark.
  • Vicky: [squeals with glee] I LOVE YOU CHIP SKYLARK! I’m gonna call all my friends and invite ‘em to the wedding! First I'm gonna find some friends!
  • Chip: [sighs] Another day, another whackadoo holding me against my will.
  • [A shadow looms over Chip.]
  • Timmy: Hi, Chip. I'm Timmy. Having a cruddy day like me?
  • Chip: Aw, the only cruddy day I ever have is, a day when I disappoint my fans. Wait-wait-wait, I didn't disappoint you, did I?
  • Timmy: Because of you, your fame, and your stupid concert everybody forgot today was my birthday!
  • Chip: Aw, I'm sorry to hear that, little guy. Reach into my coat pocket. I've got something that might make it up to you.
  • [Timmy reaches into Chip's coat pocket, and pulls out a brand new Crash Nebula action figurine.]
  • Timmy: Oh my gosh! It's the brand new Crash Nebula action figure! [Timmy pushes a button on the figure.]
  • Crash Nebula Figure: Set phasers... to fun!
  • Chip: Happy birthday, Timmy.
  • TImmy: This hasn't even been released yet! How'd ya get it!?
  • Chip: I got it as a gift from the record company. Today's my birthday, too.
  • Timmy: Really!?
  • Chip: Yeah.
  • [Timmy looks at the figure, and presses a button on it.]
  • Crash Nebula Figure: What a jerk!
  • Chip: Yeah, but they scheduled my concert on my birthday, so I haven't even had a chance to celebrate it. [sighs] Sometimes it's hard to be famous... and talented.
  • Timmy: And delicious!
  • Chip: What?
  • Timmy: Uh... my Dad said that.
  • [Timmy and Chip both laugh. Chip begins to cough.]
  • Chip: Sorry, I'd have laughed harder, but these chains are crushing my lungs.
  • Timmy: Sorry, Chip.
  • Chip: Oh, that's alright, little pal. [coughs] It's not like you wished for this to happen.
  • [Cosmo and Wanda poof into their fishbowl. Timmy walks over to them.]
  • Timmy: Wow, I thought Chip would be a big jerk because he's a big star. But he's not such a bad guy after all! I wish Chip was free and out of Vicky's clutches.
  • [Cosmo and Wanda wave their wands, but they make a "fart" noise.]
  • Timmy: Oh great, the "wand not working" [Timmy imitates the fart noise] noise. What's wrong?
  • Wanda: Well, you know how the rules say we can't use our magic to destroy true love?
  • Timmy: So?
  • [Vicky opens the door..]
  • Vicky: Hello my love who I truly love with all the love in my heart! [Vicky drops roses around Chip's face.] Love!
  • Timmy: Oh...
  • [Vicky walks over to Chip, pushing Timmy's T.V.]
  • Vicky: You can watch this while I find someone who will perform a marriage ceremony between a crazed fan and a celebrity teen hostage. To the internet!
  • Chet Ubetcha (on T.V): It's a scene of mass chaos here at the Dimmsdale Dimmadome, where everyone is angrily asking the same question: Where is Chip Skylark!?
  • Mrs. Turner (on T.V): If Chip doesn't show up, I'm gonna punish our child for no reason.
  • Mr. Turner (on T.V): Timmy, if you're watching this, run!
  • [Timmy turns off the T.V.]
  • Chip: Oh no, fans! Hundreds of 'em! Disappointed! My fault! Guilt growing! Teeth are becoming... less shiny! [Chip's teeth turn yellow and cracked.] Hair... losing sheen. [Chip's hair loses its sheen.]
  • Wanda: AGGGHHHH! [Wanda covers up her eyes.]
  • Timmy: Oh man! I've gotta get Chip to the concert before all those women... and my Dad... tear the town apart! (to Wanda) You and I have to get Chip out of here! Cosmo, you gotta get to the concert and stall by any means necessary!
  • Cosmo: Cool! [He poofs his electric triangle into the fishbowl.] I'm gonna get my old band back together!
  • [Cosmo poofs out of the fishbowl. He leaves behind a cloud of smoke, that says "ROCK OUT!" inside. Transition to the Dimmadome. Chip fans are still raging inside.]
  • Crowd (off-screen): We want Chip!
  • Mr. Turner (off-screen): Or else!
  • Crowd: We want Chip!!
  • Mr. Turner: Or else!
  • Crowd: We want Chip!!!
  • Mr. Turner: Or else!!
  • [Cosmo poofs onto the stage.]
  • Cosmo: Hello, Dimmsdale! (deep voice) Are you ready for Chip Skylark?
  • [The crowd cheers.]
  • Cosmo: Well, he's not here yet.
  • [Cosmo gets hit with a tomato.]
  • Cosmo: (deep voice) Instead, please put your hands together (normal voice) for your opening act! [Cosmo waves his wand] On the Pan flute... Pan!
  • [Pan is poofed onto the stage, and gets hit with a tomato.]
  • Cosmo: And on drums... Santa!
  • [Santa is poofed onto the stage. He is hit with a tomato.]
  • Santa: You better watch out.
  • Cosmo: And on the organ... Beethoven!
  • [Beethoven is poofed onto the stage. Like with the rest, he is hit with a tomato.
  • Beethoven: Vhat? Vhat!?
  • Cosmo: And I'm Cosmo, and together, we're... The Fairies!
  • [The Fairies are pelted with tomatoes. Cosmo, Santa, and Pan pop out of a pile of tomatoes. Transition back to the Turner's House.]
  • Chip (off-screen): [sighs with relief]
  • [We hear a toilet flushing. Chip (who is still chained up) hops out of the bathroom]
  • Timmy: Feel better?
  • Chip: Yeah, I didn't have to go to the bathroom, but the sound of flushing calms me down.
  • Timmy: I'm sorry you have to spend with Vicky.
  • Chip: Oh, that's okay, little pal. You have to spend everyday with her. I'm just here till she snaps or the swat team arrives.
  • Timmy: That's Vicky for ya. Icky with a "V".
  • Chip: Hey! Icky Vicky. I could write a song about that. (singing) Icky Vicky, Icky Vicky, Icky... Vicky!
  • Timmy: I was totally wrong about you, Chip. Just because you're rich and famous doesn't mean you're a jerk!
  • Chip: Actually, I'm not all that rich. The record company pays for everything, I'm broke! But if the fans knew that, they might not love me anymore.
  • Timmy: But neither would Vicky.
  • Chip: Well, there's that.
  • Timmy (to himself): She wouldn't love you anymore...
  • [Transition to Timmy's bedroom. Chip is hopping to Timmy's bed.]
  • Vicky (off-screen): Hi, Chip darling!
  • Vicky: Look who I found on the internet! The only Justice of the Peace on Earth who will marry someone against their will!
  • [Wanda and Timmy peek from behind the door.]
  • Wanda: When Vicky finds out that Chip's not rich, she won't love him anymore!
  • [Vicky is preparing for the wedding.]
  • Timmy (off-screen): Yeah, but how do we let Vicky know?
  • [Wanda waves her wand and poofs a way.]
  • Internet Nerd: We are gathered here today to forcibly bond these two teens against their will. Is there anyone here, besides the groom, who has a reason these two should not be wed?
  • [Wanda kicks opens the door. Standing next to her is the Record Company Executive.]
  • Wanda: He does!
  • Chip: Oh my gosh! It's the guy from the record company!
  • Record Executive: Thanks for the tip, pink-haired mystery woman! I represent Chip's record company. Since you are going to be Chip Skylark's wife, you get Chip Skylark's debts.
  • [The Record Executive opens up a suitcase, full of bills. He passes Vicky some of the bills.]
  • Record Executive: This is for the car, this is his cell bill, this is for the pager. And this is for-- uh?... everything else.
  • [He dumps the rest of the bills on Vicky. She reads one of the bills.]
  • Vicky: Six million bucks!? But, Chip, I thought you were rich!?
  • Timmy: Nope. He's just pretty, and talented.
  • Vicky: NOOOO!!! You broke, loser creep! I don't love you! This wedding is off! Nerd!
  • [Vicky slams the door shut. Wanda waves her wand, which unlocks the releases Chip from the chains.]
  • Chip (singing): I'm free! Yes siree! I'm free-e-e-e-e!
  • [Chip checks the clock.]
  • Chip: Oh no! I'll never get to the concert in time!
  • Timmy: Here you go, Chip. Use this. [Timmy hands Chip Vicky's "special phone" from before.] Let 'em know you're on your way!
  • Chip: Thanks, little dude! [Chip presses a button on the phone. He is blasted with knock-out gas again.] (woozily) The album... comes out on... July 24th... [Chip falls asleep, and begins sucking his thumb.]
  • Timmy: I wish we were at the concert!
  • [Wanda waves her wand. A cloud of smoke appears, and the text "ROCK AND ROLL!" is inside of it. Transition to the Dimmadome, which is in a terrible state because of the riot. We see The Fairies inside of the Dimmadome, trying to reflect tomatoes that are being hurled at them.]
  • Beethoven: (German speech) Stay back!
  • Cosmo: Hey, they like us! They really like us!
  • [An entrance appears in front of the microphone. Timmy comes out of it.]
  • Timmy: Ladies!... and Timmy Turner's Dad!
  • Mr. Turner: Hey, that's me!
  • Timmy: Are you ready to rock!?
  • [The crowd cheers.]
  • Timmy: Then get ready for... CHIP SKYLARK!
  • [A curtain opens, and we see Chip behind another microphone. He is still sleeping. He then wakes up.]
  • Chip: Huh, what? Dude, how'd we get here so fast?
  • Timmy: Uh, the power of music?
  • Chip: Rock on! Hit it!
  • [Song: "Icky Vicky"]
  • Children Vocals: ♪ V-I-C-K-Y. The sound of her name makes the little kids cry! AHHHHHH!
  • Chip: ♪ Hey Vicky, you're so-so-icky, just the thought of being around you makes me oh-so-sicky. Hey Vicky, won't you please explain,
  • Chip and Children Vocals: ♪ Why you get so much enjoyment out of causing kids pain?
  • Children Vocals: ♪ Oh, oh, oh! '♪ '
  • Chip: ♪ A chick who's just plain mean. A sour-sweet-16.
  • [Transition back to the living room. Vicky jumps on the T.V, breaking it.]
  • Chip (off-screen): ♪ She's a fire breathing dragon in a pair of black jeans!
  • [Transition straight back to the DImmadome.]
  • Children Vocals: ♪ EWWWW!
  • Timmy: Don't worry about forgetting that my birthday was today, Mom and Dad. It's okay.
  • Mr. Turner: [gasps] What? Forgot your birthday!?
  • Mrs. Turner: We'd never forget your birthday, Tommy.
  • Mr. Turner: Your birthday isn't till tomorrow!
  • Timmy: What!?
  • Mr. and Mrs. Turner: Happy almost birthday, Timmy! [they continue dancing to the song]
  • Children Vocals: ♪ EWWWW!
  • Chip: ♪ Hey Vicky, won't you tell us true,
  • Chip and Children Vocals: ♪ How'd we ever get the bad luck to be stuck with you?
  • Chip: ♪ Oh Vicky, can we say one thing,
  • Chip and Children Vocals: ♪ It's your super-total-yuckiness that makes us wanna sing! Icky Vicky!
  • Children Vocals: ♪ Eww! Eww!
  • Chip and Children Vocals: ♪ Icky Vicky!
  • Children Vocals: ♪ Eww! Eww!
  • Chip and Children Vocals: ♪ Icky Vicky!
  • [The crowd cheers wildly. Transition back to the living room.]
  • Vicky: I hate music.
  • [The screen fades to black, and the end title card appears.]
  • Vocals: ♪ Icky Vicky!
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.