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The Fairly OddParents!
episode transcript
"Blondas Have More Fun!"
Season №: 5
Episode №: 62A
Airdate: April 2, 2005
Transcript List

This article is a transcript of the The Fairly OddParents! episode, "Blondas Have More Fun!" from Season 5, which aired on April 2, 2005.


Script[]

(Timmy's going to do a stunt and is going to roller-skate over a pool with sharks.)

Timmy: Don't you just love extreme wishes? They're totally extreme!

Cosmo: Yeah, go on Timmy, do the extreme! You can totally do it...extremely!

(Timmy pulls the string to the rocket roller skates but that fall off. Then, Timmy falls into the shark tank.)

Cosmo: Oooo, so close.

Wanda: Aw well, at least I know I can't get blamed for this.

(cuts to Timmy's room)

Jorgen: Wanda, I blame you. You're the smart one. Put down your foot! Like your famous identical-yet-somehow-hotter sister Blonda! Who plays the stern, loveable nurse Blonda on my favorite soap opera "All my Biceps". Which is on right now! (poofs away)

Timmy: You have a sister? Who's identically yet somehow hotter?

Wanda: Yeah, I became the hard-working everyday fairy godparent, and she chose the easy life and went to Fairywood. Oh, she was so dramatic as a child. She always knew just what to say.

(cuts to Blonda)

Blonda: I don't know what to say! What the heck is my line?!

Writer: "After eighteen years, I'm finally going to kiss you Dr. Poofeverwish."

Dr. Poof: And let's make it a long kiss.

Jorgen: Finally, eighteen seasons of romantic tension released in one extreme kiss! Yes, YES, YES!! (hugs TV)

Narrator: Will nurse Blonda kiss Dr. Poof? Find out tomorrow on the next episode of "All my Biceps."

Jorgen: Tomorrow? No, NO!! (smashes TV)

Director: And cut!

(the writers poof next to Blonda)

Blonda: I'm finally gonna kiss you?! People have waited eighteen years for this and that's the best you idiots can do?! (brings down the director) How am I ever gonna win the Zappy award?

Director: Blonda baby, it's a stupid little statue. I should know, I've got 40 of them.

(Then, Blonda sees someone hanging a sign with his Zappy award.)

Producer: Aw, darn it! I broke my Zappy hanging this sign. Can somebody loan me theirs?

Other fairies: Here you go!

Blonda: Am I the only person in Fairywood that's never won a ZAPPY?!

(on the news)

Fairy Hart: Blonda, it seems that you're the only fairy in Fairywood without a Zappy. Is it may be time to quit and say goodbye to Fairywood?

Blonda: No. But sometimes I do wish I gave in and chose the easy life. Settle down with a moron and had a fairy godchild like my wimpy sister Wanda. but I have bigger dreams, and my bigger, I mean I had dreams.

Wanda: I have the easy life?! That's it, we're going to Fairywood!

Cosmo: That's where Blonda lives!

(Timmy, Cosmo and Wanda poof to Fairywood.)

Timmy: Blonda's dressing room. How come we haven't visited Wanda's sister before this?

Cosmo: I'm trying to remember...

(Blonda comes in trying to keep away the interviewers.)

Fairy Hart: Blonda, what about the rumors about you and Billy crystal ball?

Bob Glimmer: How do you feel about being on Mr. Zapwell's worst dress list?

(Blonda closes the door on them. Then she notices Wanda.)

Wanda: You couldn't last a day in the real world.

Blonda: I've got it tougher. The pressure, the limelight, the lukewarm hot tub water.

Wanda: Mom always liked you best.

Cosmo: Wait, I remember now. They hate each other.

Timmy: Hey, wanna go back and extreme bear wrestle?

Cosmo: You betcha!

(They both poof back)

Blonda: I know how to settle this.

Wanda: Samurai swords to the death?

Blonda: No, I was thinking we switch places and see who has the tougher life.

(switches their outfits)

Wanda & Blonda: And nobody will know but us!

(Blonda poofs to Timmy's room and Wanda stays.)

Wanda: Yeah, you're the smart one. Sucker. (laughs)

(At Timmy's room, Blonda sees Timmy and Cosmo slightly mauled by bears.)

Timmy: Hey Wanda, do you have a nice time?

Blonda: Oh, (chuckles nervously) yeah, I sure did uhh... (poofs back to her dressing room.) Uh...

Wanda: Timmy and Cosmo.

(Blonda poofs back)

Blonda: Timmy. Cosmo!

Timmy: Hey, has your voice changed?

Cosmo: Of course, it has! She yelled at her no talent somewhat-hotter-can't-win-the-Zappy-sister so much she hurt her voice.

Blonda: And since I am Wanda and clearly not Blonda I have to wonder what would Wanda usually say in this scene—I mean uh moment in time?

Cosmo: Uh something like: "Hey Timmy, what do you want to wish for?"

(Cuts to them flying in space)

Timmy: Extreme asteroid dodging! Awesome!

Blonda: I don't usually do my own stunts. Isn't this wish a little—ugh! (gets hit by an asteroid)

(cuts to Wanda)

Wanda: Now this is the easy life. Buck-naked in a hot tub with chocolates and no extreme wishes.

(Then, I bunch of fairies come in and take pictures.)

Photographer #1: Smile pretty Blonda.

Wanda: Ah! Can't a star get some privacy and alone time?

Fairy Hart: Blonda cries out for privacy tonight only on FT.

(they continue taking pictures)

Photographer #2: Does she seem less hot to you?

(Wanda angrily poofs out and unknowingly go into the film studio. Then, the spotlights shine on her.)

Director: Okay, now this is the scene Fairyworld's been waiting eighteen years for. The day nurse Blonda, that's you, kisses Dr. Poofeverwish. That's him. (Dr. Poof poofs in.)

(Jorgen's up close to the TV chewing his nails. Then he starts banging Binky into the floor.)

Dr. Poof: Kiss me nurse Blonda.

Wanda: I can't kiss you! I don't love you!

Dr. Poof: What?!

Jorgen: What?!

Fairy Hart: I'm Fairy Hart. Ratings plummet as nurse Blonda refuses to kiss Dr. Poofeverwish.

Bob Glimmer: And I'm Bob Glimmer. As Fairywood's most Zappy-less actress lost her mind, and will her job be next?

Fairy Hart & Bob Glimmer: Zappy fight! (they start sword fighting with their Zappy's)

Jorgen: No more "All my Biceps"? It cannot be! There's only one thing to do! Hit you and blame Wanda...again! (throws Binky)

(Timmy's in a cannon and has the fuse lit.)

Blonda: Uh, I'm pretty sure about now my character would say something like "Terry, this stunt looks too dangerous. Oh, stop please stop." Or, or a few words with that effect. (chuckles)

Timmy: Relax. Cosmo's an extreme net in Australia and he's gonna catch me.

Blonda: Really?

(In Australia.)

Cosmo: (talking to a kangaroo) Check this out, I'm gonna catch Timmy.

(Back in Dimmsdale.)

Blonda: It's been so nice knowing you.

(Jorgen poofs in.)

Jorgen: Wanda! You must stop this madness! (to Timmy) Got a Cosmo net waiting in Australia? (Timmy gives a thumbs up) Good. Now, where was I? Oh yes. (to Blonda) You fumbling idiot! You must- (gets interrupted by Blonda)

Blonda: THAT'S ENOUGH!! I'M PUTTING MY FOOT DOWN! Now BACK OFF, JARHEAD!!

(Points the cannon at Jorgen)

Jorgen: Whoa hey, calm down, huh? There's no need to point the loaded child at me.

Blonda: YOU CALM DOWN!! I'VE BUSTED MY LIFE ON SUCTION BUTT KEEPING BUCKY DEATH WISH HERE HAPPY! AND WHAT DO I GET?!?!

Jorgen: Uhhh...

Blonda: AN OVERPUMPED MUSCLE-HEAD YELLING AT ME ALL DAY!?! Woah, I never knew how really tough Wanda has it.

Jorgen: But this isn't about you! It's about your getting less-hot-by-the-second sister, Blonda! She won't kiss Dr. Poofeverwish, and they are going to cancel "All my Biceps"!

(Blonda is shocked while Timmy sees that the fuse is about to reach the cannon.)

Timmy: Uh guys?

Blonda: I'll save the show! But you have to promise to stop blaming Wanda for everything.

Jorgen: I don't know why we are talking in the third person, but okay. Jorgen will stop yelling at Wanda.

Blonda: (to Timmy) And you promise to stop the extreme wishing or you'll be kissing Jorgen at MOCKFOUR!!!

Timmy: Yes! Timmy promises to stop his extreme wishing!

(Blonda is happy and turns the cannon around Then, the cannon shoots.)

Timmy: Extreme!!!

Cosmo: There's a baby in there?

(Timmy barely misses Cosmo)

Timmy: Ugh!

Cosmo: Oooo, so close.

(Back at the TV studio)

Dr. Poof: Tell me nurse Blonda, why won't you kiss me?!

Blonda: (offscreen) Because that's not nurse Blonda!

Dr. Poof: It's not?

(Shows Blonda at the doorway. And the crew and Jorgen (who's watching the episode) gasp. Sho does Cosmo with the joey in the pouch)

Blonda: It's my...uh, e-evil twin Wanda. (Switches them back to their normal outfits.) Who I've learned recently is no so evil and has had a very difficult non-glamorous fan free life. (signs an autograph)

Director: That's not in the script, but it's good.

Jorgen: An evil twin? What a crazy and convenient plot twist! I'm hooked now more than ever! (hugs TV)

Wanda: And I've also realized how talented my sister is. And how annoying the media can be. (News reporters and photographers show up.)

Fairy Hart: Wanda finds us annoying!

Bob Glimmer: But which of us is the more annoying? Find out tonight on F.T. But I say she is.

Fairy Hart: No, you!

Bob Glimmer: No, you!

Fairy Hart: No, you!

Bob Glimmer: No, you!

Fairy Hart: No, you!

Fairy Hart & Bob Glimmer: Zappy fight! (they start sword fighting with their Zappy's again)

Wanda: Samurai swords to the death?

(Blonda and Wanda start attacking the news crew.)

(At the Zappy Awards)

Fairy Hart: And the Zappy goes to...

Fairy Hart & Bob Glimmer: Blonda! (Blonda appears on stage.)

(Everyone cheers.)

Timmy: Ya-hey!

(Blonda holds the Zappy award.)

Blonda: Oh, I just want to say that I couldn’t have won this without the help of my dowdy sister, Ronda, oh, Wanda. Excuse-moi. (kisses)

Cosmo: Hey, you have Blonda win the Zappy!

Wanda: And she got Jorgen to stop blaming me and Timmy to stop making extreme wishes. And best of all, I’m friends with my sister again!

Cosmo: Yep! You’re totally hot sister. What? I chose you, didn’t I? Of course, it was dark.

Fairy Hart: Wait, wait. Oops! There was a smudge. (Everyone gasps.)

Bob Glimmer: Apparently, the Zappy was actually won by Wanda. (To Fairy Hart) But seriously, you’re the more annoying.

(Wanda appears on stage and takes the Zappy from Blonda.)

Blonda: I can’t believe my frump of a sister played me!

Wanda: Who are you calling a frump, you spoiled, pampered poodle of a Zappyless fairy? Zappy fight! Oh, that’s right. You don’t have one.

Cosmo: Ah, everything’s back to normal.

Timmy: You know what that means?

(Cuts to Australia where Timmy is seen shot out from the cannon.)

Timmy: Extreme!!!

Cosmo: Such a cute baby!

(Timmy barely misses Cosmo)

Timmy: Ugh!

Cosmo: Oooo, so close. (talking to a kangaroo) Do you have any peroxide in there?

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