Balance of Flour/Transcript

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The Fairly OddParents! episode transcript
"Balance of Flour"
Season	7
Episode	115B
Airdate	July 14, 2011
Transcript List

This article is a transcript of the Fairly OddParents episode "Balance of Flour" from Season 7, which aired on July 14, 2011.

Script

Cosmo: Welcome to the Von Strangle family bakery, Timmy, where everything is magically delicious. You can even eat the walls.

Wanda: No, you can't, Cosmo.

Cosmo: Oh, then you better take me to the hospital. Ahhhh.

Timmy: Jorgen, you work here?

Jorgen: That is right, Turner. You see, in addition to being supreme guardian of Fairy World, I am also a minimum wage stooge at my grandmother's bakery.

Nana Boom Boom: Boom! Boom!

Jorgen: Hard to believe we are related, huh? Nana Boom Boom, these are my friends... And Timmy Turner.

Nana Boom Boom: You want to kickbox for a strudel?

Timmy: Uh, no, thanks, but those brownies look good. Don't mind if I do.

Nana Boom Boom: Hands off.

Timmy: Agh! Ohh! Ugh!

Nana Boom Boom: Those are my award-winning extreme fairy-cherry brownies. They are not for the customers.

Jorgen: Nana made them for tomorrow's big annual bake-off between the fairies and the anti-fairies. And by the way, that is an exploding pie.

[Loud explosion]

Poof: Poof-poof. More. Good! MORE!!!

Wanda: Poof, you're not supposed to eat those.

Timmy: Oh, come on, they can't be that good. More. Good! MORE!!!

Anti-Cosmo: Ah, ha-ha-ha.

Jorgen: We have a brownie breach.

Anti-Cosmo: Ahh, ah, ha-ha. Ahh-ha-ha.

Jorgen: Aha! It is Anti-Cosmo in a clever giant cupcake disguise.

Anti-Cosmo: Cupcake? Ignoramus! I'm a giant frosted scone! Ahhhh!

Jorgen: That was close. If that fiend had escaped with the brownie, he could've found out the recipe. A recipe that is kept in a secret vault in the basement. Which I guess is no longer a secret since I just told you about it.

Nana Boom Boom: Dumb dumb!

Jorgen: Poof, that was the last brownie. Now we'll have to make another batch for the bake-off tomorrow.

[Poof Burps]

Wanda: I'm gonna get Poof to a brownie-free zone. Cosmo, Timmy, don't do anything stupid while I'm gone.

Cosmo: (to Timmy) Why does always say that to us?

Timmy: I don't know. Now let's do something stupid! Poof me up another one of those brownies I'm not supposed to have.

Cosmo: Sorry Timmy they're magic brownies. I can only poof them up by using the secret recipe.

Timmy: Then take me down to that basement vault so I can get the recipe.

Cosmo: That sounds perfectly stupid! (In the vault) Getting that brownie recipe's gonna be simple. Wait. That means getting a cake would be a piece of brownie. Hold me, Timmy. I'm freaking myself out.

Computer Voice: Retinal scan failed. You are not Nana Boom Boom. Prepare to be annihilated.

Timmy: Ahhh! Cosmo, you need to make me look like Nana Boom Boom.

Computer Voice: Retinal scan match. Nana Boom Boom identified. Prepare for brownie-to-brain download.

Timmy: Ahhhh!

Cosmo: Timmy, are you okay?

Timmy: Yeah, I'm fine... Cups of fairy flour, golden goose eggs, a dash of troll dandruff. Whoa, the recipe got zapped into my head.

Anti-Cosmo: (sees that Timmy downloaded the recipe to his brain) It looks that Timmy Turner has what we came for. And you mocked me for buying X-Ray glasses from the back of the comic book.

Anti-Wanda: (replying to Anti-Cosmo's sentence) Why do we need those brownies anyway? We can win the bake-off with my Roadkill Critter Cake!

Anti-Cosmo: No offence dear, but no one wants a dessert that hunts mice in a sewer. We need that brownie recipe!

Poof: Brownie, brownie, brownie, brownie!

Wanda: No, I don't have any brownies. How about a nice flavor-free teething biscuit instead?

Poof: More brownie! Brownie!

Wanda: (to Cosmo and Timmy) Where have you two been?

Cosmo: Well, we weren't in the bakery vault stealing the super-secret brownie recipe if that's what you're implying.

Wanda: You stole the recipe?!

Poof: MOOORRREEE!!!

Timmy: It's just a recipe for a stupid bake-off! It's not the end of the world!

Wanda:Yes, it is. Timmy, thousands of years ago, there was an epic battle between the fairies and the anti-fairies to determine who got to have fairy godchildren.

Wanda:After years of horrible war, we decided to settle things the only logical way... With an annual bake-off.

Wanda:Nana Boom Boom's brownies win every year, but if the anti-fairies get that recipe, they'll win the bake-off and inherit all the god kids, including you, sport. You're in terrible danger, until you return that recipe to the vault.

Poof: Brownies.

Timmy: Yeah, there's a problem with that. I accidentally downloaded it into my head.

"Mrs. Turner": Hi, Tommy. We've come to suck out the contents of your brain. (brandishes vacuum with tentacles) I mean, vacuum your room.

"Mr. Turner": We're not evil imposters.

[The tentacles of the vacuum pull off theirs masks to reveal Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda]

Anti-Cosmo: That's the last time I order Mom and Dad costumes from the back of a comic book. Now hold still while I painfully suck the recipe and your brain out of your ear cannal!

Cosmo: Don't worry Timmy, we'll save you.

[Anti-Cosmo sucks Cosmo, Wanda and Poof into the vacuum cleaner]

Cosmo: Timmy, save us!

[Jorgen shots Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda]

Timmy: Thanks Jorgen! (unsucks Wanda, Poof, and Cosmo)

Jorgen: Don't mention it. Now, hold still, while I remove your head.

Timmy: Ahhhhh!

Wanda: There must be a less violent way to get the fairy-cherry brownie recipe out of Timmy's brain.

Jorgen: The fairy-cherry brownie recipe is in his brain? Turner, if you have the recipe, we must get you to a safe house.

Cosmo: Cool safe house.

Jorgen: Thanks, I ordered it from the back of a comic book. It is completely magic-proof. No one can poof in or out.

Jorgen: Turner, we must keep you here, until the fairies win the bake-off.

Timmy: This whole thing is crazy. Why would you decide the fate of fairy god kids with a bake-off?

Jorgen: Well, we tried tiddlywinks, but it was too painful.

Both: My eye!

Jorgen: Anyway, the bake-off worked out great for Fairy World. Nothing is as delicious as Nana's brownies.

Cosmo: Well, nothing except my bread-free toast. I love the bread-free taste.

Jorgen: Anyway, toodles, and don't do anything stupid.

Cosmo: Why is everyone looking at me? Who wants meat-free meatballs?

[Door clanging]

"Jorgen": Open up.

Wanda: That was quick, Jorgen.

"Jorgen": I am not Jorgen.

Wanda: Ahhhh!

[All screaming]

"Jorgen": Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Timmy: Ahhh!

[Both cackling]

Wanda: We're in trouble. The anti-fairies got Timmy, which means they have the recipe.

Cosmo: Relax, guys. I finally did something not stupid.

Timmy: I had a feeling the anti-fairies might track us down, so I got Cosmo to do the old switcheroo.

Wanda: Wait a minute. If you're here, then the anti-fairies have Cosmo.

[Thunder booming]

Anti-Cosmo: Have you found anything in his brain yet?

Anti-Wanda: I haven't even found his brain.

Cosmo: (Disgiused as Timmy) I'd look a little lower.

Anti-Wanda: Found it! And I think I got somethin'. It's a recipe! [duh]

Anti-Cosmo: The brownies! Yes! Bring the recipe and start baking!

Timmy: Add golden goose eggs and a dash of troll dandruff.

Jorgen: Hurry, Nana. The bake-off is about to begin. And somebody get this poor troll some medicated shampoo.

Fairy Hart: This is Fairy Hart for the fairy channel. I'm live at the -thousandth annual magical bake-off, which will decide the fate of fairy godchildren everywhere.

[Timer ticking] [Timer dings]

Jorgen: We're going to make it!

Poof: MORE. (eats the brownies in a similar way to Pac-man)

Jorgen: We're not going to make it! Wanda, don't you ever feed that kid?! Nana Boom Boom, quick, make another batch.

Fairy Hart: Our bake-off judge, Mother Nature, has just arrived.

[Cheers and applause]

Fairy Hart: Welcome, Mother Nature. It's a beautiful day.

Mother Nature: (laughs) Thank you, I made it myself.

Fairy Hart: With the anti-fairies having submitted their entry, we're still waiting for Nana Boom Boom Von Strangle to arrive with the fairies' dessert.

Anti-Cosmo: This is it, dear. As soon as Mother Nature tastes Timmy's brownies, every fairy godchild will be ours.

[Timer ticking] [Timer dings]

Jorgen: The brownies are done. Now let's get to that bake-off.

Fairy Hart: Time is almost up for the fairies. It looks like they're going to be disqualified.

Fairy Hart: I stand corrected. Nana Boom Boom has arrived with her entry. Ladies and gentlemen, the judging is about to begin.

Mother Nature: There's nothing here. It's not nice to fool Mother Nature.

Both: Ahhhh!

Anti-Cosmo: What have you done, woman? There's nothing on that plate.

Anti-Wanda: Don't blame me. I followed that recipe exactly, a-hoo.

Timmy: Yeah, it's my recipe for bread-free toast: cups flour, cups water, minutes in oven.

[All gasping]

All: Ahhhh.

Poof: Ahhh-ahh-ahhhhhh. MORE!!!

All: Wait!

Mother Nature: Ooh. More. Good! MORE!!!

[Thunder booming]

All: Ahhh!

Mother Nature: (cackling) Uh, I mean, I declare the winners of this year's bake-off to be... the fairies.

[Cheers and applause] [Fireworks exploding]

Jorgen: Good work, Turner. Thanks to your quick thinking and Cosmo's empty brain, victory is ours.

Nana Boom Boom: Even though you selfishly broke into my vault and stole my recipe, you deserve a reward. Here, have some pie.

Timmy: Awesome, your pie is the bomb.

[Loud explosion]

Nana Boom Boom: Boom! Boom!

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