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This article is a transcript of the Fairly OddParents episode "Anchors Away" from Season 9, which aired on July 25, 2014.
Script[]
(Timmy, Sparky, Cosmo, Wanda and Poof are at the Outskirts of Dimmsdale)
Timmy: Guys, I love the Outskirts of town!
Cosmo: Yeah! They sell the best skirts out here! Can we go to the Out Boxer Shorts of town next? Because I’m totally flying al fresco under my skirt.
Timmy: I meant the Outskirts are great because no one’s here. I can wish up anything I want, like a dinosaur playing the accordion.
Wanda: Why would you even want to poof that up?
Timmy: Why do I do anything, Wanda? To avoid doing my homework.
(Wanda and Cosmo poof up a giant, green dinosaur, holding a red accordion. The dinosaur happily plays the accordion. Meanwhile, Chet Ubetcha is at the zoo doing one of his watchdog reportings.)
Chet: This is watchdog reporter Chet Ubetcha wearing a poodle skirt I bought on the Outskirts of town. My tireless investigative reporting has uncovered news that could prevent a future disaster at the Dimmsdale Zoo.
(The dinosaur dances by the zoo, still playing the accordion. Chet sees the dinosaur.)
Chet: Hold that thought. I’ve just spotted an accordion-playing dinosaur headed for Dimmsdale, which is weird, because I thought accordions were extinct!
(Timmy sees the whole thing happen.)
Timmy: Oh no! Chet saw the dinosaur! Poof it away!
(Cosmo and Wanda wave their wands and the dinosaur disappears.)
Cosmo: Timmy, the breeze tickles my cha-chas! (He plays the maracas.)
(Meanwhile, Chet Ubetcha is still reporting.)
Chet: And now, brace yourself for exclusive footage of a T-Rex, playing a musical instrument, that will never get him a girlfriend!
(The camera pans to the entrance, but there's no dinosaur there.)
Chet: This is Chet Ubetcha saying I swear there was a dinosaur here; now I feel like a fool, not just because my bobby socks don't match my poodle skirt!
(Back to Timmy)
Timmy: Phew! That could've been bad.
Cosmo: You’re telling me! If that dinosaur wanted a girlfriend, he should’ve been playing the cha-chas! (He plays the maracas again.)
Wanda: Timmy, making wishes out here in the open is risky! If Chet had caught you, we would’ve been all over the news!
Timmy: You’re right, Wanda. Let’s just come back tomorrow when he’s gone.
Cosmo: That’s good thinking, Timmy. The last thing you want to do is draw unnecessary attention to yourself. Ooh! A penny!
(Timmy, Poof and Wanda scream.)
(The next day, Timmy and his fairy family are back at the Outskirts of Dimmsdale.)
Timmy: Well, we’re back on the Outskirts of town and the coast is clear. Guys, poof me up a volcano that erupts jelly beans!
Cosmo: Really? You’re going with that? Everything, you’re wishing for a hat in a boy color that fits your head?
Wanda: Said my husband wearing a hoop skirt.
Cosmo: What? It complements my cha-chas. (He gets out his maracas.)
Timmy: Just grant my wish, guys.
(They poof up a volcano, which erupts jelly beans instead of lava. Jelly beans fly everywhere! Meanwhile, Chet Ubetcha is doing his reports again.)
Chet: This is watchdog reporter Chet Ubetcha back on the Outskirts of town with breaking news, that could prevent these badly built buildings from breaking! (He sees the volacano.) Wait a minute. A volcano erupting jelly beans has magically appeared! This is a disaster of every proportions. I'm gonna have my cameraman spin slowly and dramatically towards it.
(As he says the last sentence, Timmy is catching jelly beans in a basket when he sees Chet.)
Timmy: Oh, no! Not Chet Ubetcha again! Poof away the volcano! (Cosmo and Wanda make the volcano disappear.)
Chet: Dimmsdale, prepare to be amazed by the footage of a magical candy volcano! (But when the cameraman turns around, there's nothing there!) Oh dear, there's nothing there again. This is Chet Ubetcha saying I'm losing my mind!
(The very next day, Timmy is chasing Poof. Wanda and Cosmo have turned into fighter jets, which Timmy and Poof are respectively riding in. Timmy shoots lasers at Poof, but he dodges the lasers.)
Wanda: I'm not sure this alien invasion wish was a good idea.
Timmy: Aw, relax, Wanda. There's no way Chet Ubetcha would be on the Outskirts of town three days in a row!
(Meanwhile, Chet Ubetcha is doing yet another watchdog report at the steakhouse.)
Chet: This is watchdog Chet Ubetcha on the Outskirts of town for my third day in a row! I'm here at the Outskirt Steakhouse, where patriots are mysteriously falling asleep. (A waitress gives a customer some steak. The customer eats the steak, and passes out. Suddenly, Chet sees the jets.) In unrelated and possibly imaginary news, a beaver boy has just been spotted chasing an alien spaceship! Did anyone else see that or have I completely lost it?!
(Sparky walks by.)
Sparky: No, man, I saw it too.
Chet: Thank you, talking dog. Talking dog?! Quick! Get a shot of it! Turn around! Hurry man! (But just as the cameraman turns around, Sparky disappears.)
Cameraman: There's no dog, man.
Chet: This is Chet Ubetcha saying it's official: I've gone cuckoo! Up next, an in-depth interview with disgraced retired reporter Chet Ubetcha, who will now live in shame in the woods. (He throws his microphone away.)
Cosmo: (off-screen) Ah! It hit me right in the cha-chas!
(Later, Timmy comes home and meets Mr. Turner.)
Mr. Turner: Good news, Timmy. Chet Ubetcha went bonkers.
Timmy: How is that good news?
Mr. Turner: It's good news for me. I'm the new newsman! Look! They even gave me Chet Ubetcha's old newsman clothes! They said I'd have big shoes to fill replacing Chet Ubetcha, but they lied. He's a woman sized-four! I'm gonna break in these shoes by walking down these super steep basement stairs. (He trips on the very first step.) Bucket of nails! (He crashes at the bottom.) This just in, I did not see that coming!
(Timmy, Cosmo and Wanda go into Timmy's room.)
Timmy: Wow! My dad sure seems excited about being Dimmsdale's new reporter. And who knows? He could turn out to be a great newsman! (He turns on the TV. Mr. Turner comes on, near the cracked buildings.)
Mr. Turner: This is ace reporter Timmy's Dad standing in front of these crumbling buildings with breaking news! My knees hurt because my shoes are a woman sized-four! This just in, my lunch! (He's given burger.) Thanks, cameraman whose name I'm too important to learn! Hi, Timmy! I'm eating lunch on TV! (He's about to eat the burger when the buildings collapse on top of him.)
(At the Outskirt Steakhouse, a customer takes a bite out of steak and passes out. We soon learn that he's at the back of a whole queue of cars, all of which have passed out. Mr. Turner is reporting there.)
Mr. Turner: This is Timmy's Dad at the Outskirt Steakhouse saying, what am I doing here, cameraman? I already ate lunch on TV!
(Later, a monkey at the zoo picks a lock on the lion's cage. The lions jump out and the African Animals run behind Mr. Turner.)
Mr. Turner: This is Timmy's Dad in the middle of Africa.
Cameraman: You're at the zoo, dude!
Mr. Turner: Hi, Timmy! I'm in Africa!
(Timmy, Cosmo, Wanda, Poof and Sparky poof back to the Outskirts of Dimmsdale.)
Timmy: This is great! With Chet gone and my dad as the town newsman, I can go back to making wishes on the Outskirts of town. (Suddenly, he sees a large queue of crashed cars and wild animals running rampant.) The whole town's gone loco! (Buildings collapse.)
Cosmo: Yeah, loco like a fox. (A fox is biting Cosmo's hand. The fox growls.) I probably shouldn't have filled my cha-chas with meat!
Timmy: Well, on the upside, none of this is my fault for a change.
Wanda: (typing on a laptop) Actually, sport, it is. I did some research and it looks like it was Chet Ubetcha's watchdog reporting that kept the city together. He was on the Outskirts of town because he was about to break stories that would prevent all this mayhem from happening!
Timmy: And since I drove him into the woods, it is my fault!
(Cosmo falls to the ground.)
Cosmo: Timmy, Timmy, Timmy.
Timmy: Yeah, I know, I messed up.
Cosmo: No. I always say "Timmy, Timmy, Timmy" before I black out from a fox attack. (He passes out.)
(A car speeds by, being chased by a bear. The car crashes into a crumbly building.)
Timmy: Oh no! The city's falling apart! We gotta find Chet and get him back on the news!
Cosmo: Well, good luck with that, little Missy.
Timmy: (sarcastically) Wow, thanks for the load of confidence, Cosmo.
Cosmo: No, I always say "Good luck with that, little Missy" when I regain consciousness before blacking out a second time from a fox attack. (He passes out again.)
(The scene fades to Timmy, Sparky, and his fairies, who are disguised as people, walking towards a cabin in the woods.)
Timmy: Good job tracking Chet down, Sparky! How'd you know he's in his cabin? Did you use your canine senses to track down his scent.
Sparky: No. I just followed these woman-size four footprints and his trail of tears.
Timmy: (He knocks on the cabin door.) Mr. Ubetcha! Are you in there?
Chet: (from inside the cabin) This is Chet Ubetcha saying no one lives here, go away!
Timmy: Chet, please! You gotta go back to work! Dimmsdale needs your watchdog reporting before the city falls apart!
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OY!C ★ 1 ★ 2 ★ 3 ★ 4 ★ 5 ★ 6 ★ 7 ★ 8 ★ 9 ★ 10 | ||
#01 Fairly OddPet | #02 Dinklescouts | #03 I Dream of Cosmo |
#04 Turner & Pooch | #05 Dumbbell Curve | #06 The Terrible Twosome |
#07 App Trap | #08 Force of Nature | #09 Viral Vidiots |
#10 Scary GodCouple | #11 Two and a Half Babies | #12 Anchors Away |
#13 Finding Emo | #14 Dust Busters | #15 The Bored Identity |
#16 Country Clubbed | #17 Dog Gone | #18 Turner Back Time |
#19 Cosmonopoly | #20 Hero Hound | #21 A Boy and His Dog-Boy |
#22 Crock Blocked | #23 Weirdos on a Train | #24 Tons of Timmys |
#25 Let Sleeper Dogs Lie | #26 Cat-Astrophe | #27 Lame Ducks |
#28 A Perfect Nightmare | #29 Love at First Bark | #30 Desperate Without Housewives |
#31 Jerk of All Trades | #32 Snack Attack | #33 Turning Into Turner |
#34 The Wand That Got Away | #35 Stage Fright | #36 Gone Flushin' |
#37 Fairly Old Parent | #38 School of Crock | #39 Dimmsdale Tales |
#40 The Past and the Furious | #41 The Fairy Beginning | #42 Fairly Odd Fairy Tales |
#43 Man's Worst Friend |